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[1995-02-25-ECW-Return of the Funker] Cactus Jack vs D.C. Drake

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The match is horrible of course, but it's ancient history as soon as it's over. Clever reveal as Funk comes out of a box dressed in a sheet and also dressed as Sandman. Good beatdown but as per ECW custom it goes on too long. Tommy Dreamer attempts a save after the jobber brigade is dispatched, but can't bring himself to cane Funk and gets taken out as a result. Then Shane Douglas is in and Woman makes him an offer to unify the Triple Threat with her group. Douglas teases it for a bit and then saves Cactus! I didn't remember that part. This was still too long but the closing angle with Woman and Douglas wrapped this up nicely.

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We all had to start somewhere and for me it was Scott Keith on the old Wrestleline.com website. Scott Keith reviewed all the 1995 ECW shows. I must have read his reviews a millions times between 1998-2010 for these shows. I watched a lot of 1995 ECW but I stuck mostly to Raven/Dreamer and even though I know about the DC Drake angle from the Keith reviews I never seen this angle. 

Sandman vs Cactus have an amazing match down in Florida in mid-January. Totally overachieves and everyone should see it. It is shockingly good. Sandman tried to blind Cactus with a lit cigarette after the match because he lost. So Cactus wants revenge. Then there is the infamous Texas Death Match where Sandman is concussed for a shoot and his health is clearly being endangered. Cactus just sickeningly compounds the issue by whacking Sandman in the head unprotected really hard with metal objects. Foley actually jokes about this in his WWE DVD set. I remember getting really pissed about it a couple years ago on here. Anyways, now Sandman wants revenge but the rub is Sandman isnt medically cleared.

We get a mystery box. I know they are a joke because they are associated with Jim Cornette and hokey Southern wrestling but fuck we need more mystery in wrestling. Mystery tag partner, mystery opponent, mystery attacker, give me something hooks me in week to week.  We get DC Drake who I have never seen before but looks like father of every random 2010s alternative-looking Indy wrestler. This is an underwhelming surprise. The match is a nothing match. Sandman CRACKS Cactus in the back of the head with the Singapore Cane and the brawl is on. Cactus overtakes Sandman and puts him back in the box. Cactus collects Sandman out of the box with the curtain covering him and we are pretty sure it is the Sandman because this dude also has Old Glory Zubaz on. He takes off the curtain and it is Terry Funk! 

Big pop and it is asswhupping from Funk and Cactus. Were those fans that jumped the rails to save Cactus? Thats what it looked like to me. Funk looked like he cracked one of them hard with a left. Then I got to thinking is Funk a heel because I thought he was a babyface. Then Dreamer comes out and Joey confirms my suspicions that this is indeed a turn because Funk was Dreamer's mentor and Dreamer cant hit his father-figure. Funk paintbrushes him and just as Dreamer was getting ready to clean his clock Sandman blasts him from behind.

Here's the part I had forgotten, Then we get Shane Douglas. This is interesting. I was just thinking they are going from one heel to another as champion because I know Douglas is leaving soon and Sandman wins. I was just researching Douglas and found out him & Cactus trained under Dominic together and Joey right on cue says this. Oh shit! Douglas is going to turn! This is fantastic. They do a little hemming and hawing. Woman throws up Triple Threat and Douglas does. I cant tell if Woman is telling Douglas to ditch Benoit &Malenko and join with Funk & Sandman or unify the groups but either way it is to align. Funk is very aggressive in his shoving. They are goading the Franchise to smash the championship belt upside Cactus' head. I thought they were going to go Nitro and cut out and make you tune in next week but no he blasts Sandman and then Funk to save Cactus. Genius! I know they ran the "will he or wont he" angles into the ground in the 90s but they gotta bring those back. 1 or 2 a year would be great. It is great suspense. Pro wrestling at its finest. So many moving pieces coming together for multiple climaxes, awesome. 

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