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Charles (Loss)

[1994-04-09-SMW-TV] Down and Dirty: Daryl Van Horn & Prince Kharis

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Darryl Van Horn has brought in Nubian virgins to make Prince Kharis more comfortable before going into his SMW title match. It's a MUMMY. He says when he's finished with DWB, he'll be turning tricks for some chickenhawk on the streets of San Francisco and Dirty White Girl will return to her old job as the primary test subject for the Monistat Corporation.

 

He proves that Prince Kharis can't be hurt by cutting one of his fingers off with a pair of scissors! Really! DWB interrupts and says no one believes this guy is 3000 years old. He flicks the hat off of Darryl Van Horn's head. DWB ends up fighting with the guy but Darryl throws sand in DWB's eyes and he gets attacked.

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Oh my! Van Horn is saying some fun stuff but I can't help but be completely distracted by Prince Kharis. What were they thinking? Few years too soon before those Mummy Movies in the late 90's. Dirty White Boy comes out and his reaction to Kharis is funny. He thinks Kharis is a joke and pretty much says what everyone thinking. He knocks Kharis off his feet right away too.

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Van Horn cuts yet another great promo and Prince Kharis is the LEAST terrifying monster I've ever seen. DWB comes out and harasses Van Horn and brawls with Kharis. He gets beat down in the end. This was a fun segment.

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Van Horn was backed into a corner saddled with this guy. I understand the concept of that this guy thinks everyone else is full of shit but really he is, but with a mummy wondering around, it will come off as comedy. DWB calling his hat a flower pot and flicking it off was a nice moment. Overall a disappointing segment because if Van Horn could have been saddled with a Kubuki type character it would have been much more rewarding.

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I for one hope that there's never a Yearbook released without a monster gimmick appearing at some point. The Mummy bleeding sand from the severed finger was awesome.

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Finally we get a look at Prince Kharis on this Yearbook, and it's obviously absurd. They're at least attempting to push the idea that Van Horn is a nut rather than a guy who actually resurrected a 3000-year old pharaoh. Van Horn tries to convince us by cutting off Kharis' thumb and pouring sand out of it. White Boy is out to rebut and shits all over the gimmick, and justifiably so. He picks on Van Horn and gets the upper hand on Kharis until Van Horn tosses the "sand of the Nile" in DWB's eyes. This is about as good of a segment involving Prince Kharis can possibly be.

 

I'm honestly surprised the WWF didn't try this gimmick around this time, with a bigger budget.

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Daryl Van Horn says that Prince Kharis is finally getting his due and getting a SMW championship match with the Dirty White Boy. They’ve bought in more Nubian virgins and manservants to make sure the Prince is comfortable for the match. He says how the White Boy seems to think he can do the impossible, do what no-one else has done, and defeat Prince Kharis. Well he can’t be hurt and when he gets done with the Dirty White Boy he’ll be turning tricks for some chicken hawk on the streets of San Francisco, while the Dirty White Girl will go back to her old job as a primary testing subject for the Monstat Corporation. There are people who don’t believe that Prince Kharis is who he says he is, so for the non-believers and to prove he can’t be hurt, he cuts off Prince Kharis’ thumb and sand pours out! Tony Anthony joins them in the ring with the White Boy mocking Van Horn’s chanting. He tells him who does he think he’s trying to fool around here? Trying to get people to believe that this big piece of toilet paper is 3,000 years old. He’s not buying it and he specializes in big men so is not worried about him, before flicking Van Horn’s fez off his head. Kharis goes after the White Boy (rather comically), but he misses and the White Boy unloads with rights knocking him off his feet. Van Horn then throws some sand in the White Boy’s eyes temporarily blinding him. Kharis sits up like he’s the Undertaker, turns his arm and clobbers the Dirty White Boy with it. He then puts Anthony in the cobra clutch until Bobby Blaze, Tracey Smothers and Tim Horner make the save and rescue him.

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