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Charles (Loss)

[1994-07-09-SMW-TV] The Thrillseekers and Jim Cornette

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They show a clip from the previous week of The Thrillseekers throwing Cornette's face in a cake after he interrupts their interview time. Then, we cut to a fan filming her kids with wrestlers and they see The Thrillseekers! They go toward them for autographs, but a couple of masked men accompanying Cornette attack them in the parking lot. The fan catches it all on tape and sends it into SMW.

 

The Thrillseekers know it was the Heavenly Bodies who attack them and want them in the ring. SMW agreed to reinstate them for one week only. This is hilarious. Jericho and Storm were not ready for this push.

 

"THERE'S TWO THINGS IN THE WORLD THAT DON'T FORGET -- ELEPHANTS AND THRILLSEEKERS."

 

Finally, we cut to a promo of Cornette and the Bodies. Cornette gets in a dig at Rodney King and praises the LAPD! He confirms that the Bodies are coming back to SMW for a week. Offensive political views aside, Cornette cuts an outstanding promo.

 

All of this is wildly entertaining for varying reasons.

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Have we ever had a cake that never ended up in someone's face? I like Mark Curtis signing autographs and posing for pictures with all the stuff going in the background. That's not typical Cornette attire there. The fan keeps her composure and tapes all of this. Heavenly Bodies are back already if only for a week.

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This is all great too. That Thrillseekers and Elephants line was hilarious on multiple levels. Tremendous entertainment.

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Thrillseekers were not ready for this big push and Jericho looks naked sitting at the table. Cornette does his damnedest to get me invested and cuts another inspired promo.

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The Seekers are just entertainly bad at this point, although Lance would never get much better or charismatic on the stick. Jericho looks indeed naked and it's disturbing. This promo looks to be shot in some trailer's kitchen. The video being shot by a fan filming her kids getting an autograph with Mark Curtis is such a nice touch when you think about those upcoming years of "invisible camera". Cornette cuts an promo, and I'm glad the Bodies are back, as SMW suffered a lot from their absence.

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They did their best to explain why a camera would catch this criminal act, at least. Yeah, it was contrived as hell but at least they tried.

 

I have a non-ironic love for Zubaz. In fact, one of my senior pictures has a younger, cuter, MUCH thinner me in those red, white and blue Zubaz that Sandman used to don. I had a mullet too. I looked goooooooood.

 

1991 - 1995: The Glory Years of Zubaz

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A cake angle--also a southern-fried wrasslin' staple, but Jericho & Storm look so out of place in this setting. Really fun follow-up angle, as two kids are being filmed by their mom about to get the Thrillseekers' autographs when they're accosted by Cornette and two masked men. I could bitch about the mystery man overload at this point but I'll let it slide. Lance Storm recites the most wooden promo of all-time, dropping the bombshell that it was the Heavenly Bodies under the masks. Jericho's more charismatic but his acting is pretty horrible on all levels, from his over-the-top moaning after getting laid out to his ANGRY INTENSE WRESTLING TALK here. WE'RE GONNA KICK YOU LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN KICKED BEFORE.

 

Jim "Hoffa" Cornette responds, lamenting the snoopiness of modern America. Oh, Jim, you haven't seen nothing yet. I guess today he'd be singing the praises of poor railroaded Donald Sterling. Cornette's interpretation of the events on the tape are pretty hilarious. The WWF has suspended the Heavenly Bodies for one week and threatened a fine if they don't return to SMW to face the Thrillseekers during that time. Another potentially confusing set-up, explained away masterfully by Cornette.

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First off we get a recap of The Thrillseekers pushing Jim Cornette’s face in a cake from last week and from here we see fan footage of The Thrillseekers arriving at the arena and getting jumped by Jim Cornette and two masked men. A woman was filming her children getting some autographs and their picture taken with Mark Curtis, when the Thrillseekers arrived at the arena soon followed by Cornette and the masked assailiants.

 

The Thrillseekers say that Jim Cornette can deny it all he likes but they know it was the Heavenly Bodies that beat them up in the parking lot, and thanks to that fan’s videotape they’ve got proof. Storm says that Jericho took 18 stitches to the back of his head, while his face has looked better. The Heavenly Bodies may be great but they’re not rolling over for anybody. Jericho says that the Heavenly Bodies were banned from Smoky Mountain when they lost to the Rock & Roll Express at the Bluegrass Brawl and now they want to come back. They could take it to the courts and file a grievance but Jim Cornette would tie it up for weeks, months and years and that’s not how they want to decide this. The only thing they could think to do legally to get them back in the ring was talk to SMW, who in turn talked to the WWF, who in turn told the Heavenly Bodies that they have to come back to Smoky Mountain for a week. If a week’s all they’ve got that’s fine because they’re not going to forget what the Heavenly Bodies did to them and they made a big mistake when they jumped them from behind.

 

Cornette claims that he’s getting accused of being responsible for things that he had nothing to do with. The Thrillseekers got attacked in the parking lot, that’s not his fault, it was two guys in masks that did it, but now they’re claiming that he was responsible for it and it was the Heavenly Bodies who were under those masks and thanks to some snoopy lady with a video camera trying to get autographs for her snot nosed kids they’ve got tape of it. It’s that kind of snoopiness in America today that got those fine upstandind Los Angeles police officers in hot water for trying to apprehend that convicted felon Rodney King! He claims that the videotape shows him trying to pull the masked guys off The Thrillseekers because he knew they couldn’t take it, but they just wouldn’t let it lie. They went to the promoters in SMW, they came to the WWF, and the result is that the WWF are not going to sign any matches for the Heavenly Bodies between the period of 8/5 and 8/13. They’re going to force the Heavenly Bodies under threat of a heavy fine to go back to Smoky Mountain Wrestling to meet The Thrillseekers so that they can get their revenge. They don’t want to do it in a court of law because they haven’t got any evidence, they want to do it in a wrestling ring. Cornette says that the ban hasn’t been lifted, but for one glorious week the Heavenly Bodies are back in SMW to teach The Thrillseekers a lesson.

 

Despite how well this was done and explained, I can’t say I’m overly impressed with the Heavenly Bodies being back a little over four months after losing the ‘loser leaves SMW’ match to the Rock & Roll Express. Sadly just another example of Cornette not adhering to stipulations, although the straw that broke the camel’s back (Morton's hair vs Fytch's hair) is just around the corner now. Good stuff from Jericho in his promo and very Bill Wattsesque with them giving a plausible reason and logical reason for the attack on The Thrillseekers being caught on camera.

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