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[1990-08-11-USWA-Memphis TV] Dirty White Boy & Dirty White Girl and Bill Dundee & Tessa / Interview: Eddie Gilbert

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DWB and Kimberly are out for an interview. DWG calls Tessa a "nothin' happenin' individual" and hypes the upcoming cage match she has with Tessa. Yikes!

 

The taunting is finally too much for Tessa. They run the Anthonys off. Tessa does a fired up interview, pointing out that she is prettier, bigger, better and smarter than Tessa. DWG interrupts her train of thought by coming out again and the guys are trying to keep them apart. Good job hyping this, and it's not lost on me that they had both women dress up a little more than normal to hype the match.

 

Later in the show, DWB does one of his typically strong wrestling interviews hyping the second cage match on Monday night - Lawler/Dundee vs Gilbert/DWB. I want to build a time machine so I can buy a ticket! Gilbert has been waiting to get Lawler in a cage his whole life. They aren't scared, and I like heels that aren't scared, mixed in with delusions of grandeur.

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Dirty White Girl is still pretty iffy as a talker but she's improved dramatically in recent weeks. Tessa rebuts the comments from the DWB&G but Dundee and the Dirty White Boy keep them separated. Tessa vs. Kimberly in a cage this Monday--I think it's about time to wrap this feud up. DWG tries to run in on Tessa's mic time and another separation.

 

DWB has had enough of crybabies and demands that Lawler & Dundee man up. He then switches gears to a pretty chilling, Ole-level description of what it's going to be like in the cage. Gilbert is loving his topical references.

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Dirty White Boy does his promo with his back to the camera a lot. They keep having to switch cameras. Dirty White Girl makes it through her promo. Tessa talks about being bigger than DWG. The girls need to keep being separated. Courage to give these ladies so much talking time on live TV.

 

Dirty White Boy wants Lawler and Dundee to accept when they lose. Cage match coming up. Have to wonder why USWA-TX didn’t allow Anthony to talk much.

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Kim/Tessa has surpassed Toni/Jeannie as the best female feud in the USWA. These promos are good by any standard, but tremendous for two women who don't usually make their living talking. And we don't need obviously fake pictures or National Enquirer-style gossip-mongering to keep this feud hot, either. These two ladies are seriously looking to hurt each other, and although it's almost a given that the actual match won't live up to the hype, the hype itself is classic.

 

Anthony and Gilbert are next, and their intensity is off the charts as well, particularly Anthony with his promises of broken bones. I think he's actually better than Gilbert here, as he compares himself favorably to Saddam Hussein, which seems only slightly less tasteless from him than it does from Slaughter. He'd have made his point better if he'd said that he and Anthony were going to roll over Lawler and Dundee like the U.S. eventually will over Saddam, if he felt the need to mention Saddam at all.

 

If Loss ever builds his time machine, can he make room for a passenger? :D

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The Dirty White Boy and Girl are over to join Dave Brown. Tony Anthony is excited as this week, for the first time ever, it’s a ‘back alley street fight’ in a cage, between Tessa and the Dirty White Girl. Dave says how he noticed the Dirty White Boy had a towel there for safety sake last week, but he claims it was just so he could cover the White Girl’s eyes up so that she didn’t have to look at that old, lard ass beast, Tessa! Kim tells Tessa that they’re in a cage this week and she knows that she’s never been around one or never seen one in her life. She has, and she’s seen the Dirty White Boy with blood gushing out of his head, all wild eyed, trying to put another man through that cage, and that’s what she’s going to try to do to her. It’s beyond the point of snatching hair and ripping clothes off, now she’s coming to hurt her. When it’s all over Tessa will be stretchered off and taken to a local hospital and she will be declared the winner. Anthony wonders if that bleach blonde bimbo heard that, when out jogs Tessa who makes a beeline straight for the White Girl. ‘The Superstar’ and the White Boy have to hold their respective women back before Anthony carries Kim off. Tessa says that the White Girl can call her all the names she wants to, but every time that she’s gotten the better of her, someone has interfered. This week they are in a cage and there isn’t going to be any help for her. Tessa then says that she is prettier than the Dirty White Girl, ‘bigger’ than her and smarter than her, at which point Kim is back out and the women have to again be held back by their men.

 

I’ve got a copy of the ‘Back Alley Street Brawl’ on the ‘Leather, Lace and Canvas’ commercial video release, so thought I’d put it on as we didn’t get any clips of the match on TV. It looks more like Tessa is ready to walk the streets in her outfit (so much for wearing what you would wear to the arena for the match!), while the Dirty White Girl is at least dressed more conservatively. The match, to no surprise, was bad, consisting of rolling around on the floor, slapping each other and trying to rips the opponent’s clothes off. Tessa loses her vest top (leaving in her bra), Kim loses her jacket (ditto) and then Kim loses her shorts to leave her stripped to her underwear. The Mid-South Coliseum get a few seconds glimpse of her in her lingerie before the Dirty White Boy is in with a towel to cover her modesty.

 

In regards to the interview I thought Tessa was real good again, while the White Girl appeared to stumble a bit over her promo. She was also cutting it to the wrong camera at first, and whilst the White Boy tried to carefully direct her and point it out, she carried on regardless. For her though, and with my low expectations, it was good.

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The Dirty White Boy says that there are a lot of people coming out whining, crying and making excuses. Why don’t they just accept the fact that they got beat up? Be a man about it. If he loses he’s man enough to admit he lost, he’ll just get them another day down the road. Now they (Jerry Lawler and Bill Dundee) want to face them in a cage, and that’s fine with him because last time he was in a steel cage he almost had to go to the police station for manslaughter! It doesn’t matter who they get to step in that cage, it could be 50 fans from out of the crowd, he’ll stomp each and every one of them! All they’ve got to do is have enough intestinal fortitude to step in that cage, listen to that door being locked, and then they’ll know they’re locked in there with the Dirty White Boy and ‘Hot Stuff’ himself.

 

Eddie Gilbert tells Dave Brown that it’s a very serious day, and he hopes he has a better suit than the one he’s wearing because the following morning after their cage match he’s going to be attending three funerals! They came out saying how long they’ve been around here, well they’ve been around here too long! He’s been waiting for this match since was a little child and has assembled an army better than King Hussain of Iraq. He wants to step in there with them face to face and when they look across the cage they’re going to be looking at Margaret Thatcher, Mikael Gorbachev and George Bush. He’s going to take them down, there will be blood flowing like wine and it’s all going to be theirs!

 

Great intense stuff from Tony Anthony here which is where I think he really excels.

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The girls continue to improve on the mic this week. Anthony and Gilbert hype up a second cage match (?) for the MSC show. I know the girls cage match probably won't deliver anywhere near the tag in-ring, but doesn't that seem like overkill?

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