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Booking Ivan Koloff to two World Titles in 1983

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In this thread, I'm going to pursue one of my worst ever ideas by booking Ivan Koloff first into Race's spot at Starrcade 83 and then into Iron Sheik's spot in December 1983.


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Consider this a trailer.

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Ok, in order to do this, first we need a rough overview of what Ivan was upto in real life.


Interestingly enough, he started 1983 working for both WWF and Georgia co-currently before working solely for WWF after April.


He stays at WWF until December 1983 and almost the next day starts his run with Crockett in January 1984.


Real-life Ivan started with Georgia in September 82 (joing from Mid-Atlantic), he started with WWF in February 1983, but as I mentioned, there was overlap and he saw out dates for GCW well into April.


For this, I need Ivan in the NWA through the summer of 83 until Starrcade and then quickly to switch to WWF immediately after it in time to face Backlund.


Some initial considerations:


1. Georgia had TV, so the plan must be to keep him there and fend off any offers from New York -- if there was a working agreement at that time, this would entail breaking it off: so be it. OR: Tell Vince of the plan, and agree to release Ivan after that.


2. That Vince still thought there was value in Ivan is not in question and in real-life 83 he was used as a perrennial challenger for Backlund. In short, the stretch from Ivan to Iron Sheik's spot is much less than the stretch between Ivan and Harley Race's spot.


3. The third consideration is NWA politics. Georgia had the TV, but not necessarily the sway to choose the champion. There needs to be some solid, convincing reasons for "Why Ivan" when Race and several other candidates are right there. The booking into the summer MUST provide that answer - an unmodified 83 Ivan isn't getting the spot. But Ivan + booking genius will produce a mainevent for Starrcade 83 that will make Meltzer weep hot tears of geek joy.


4. A final complication comes from the fact that Starrcade was chiefly a Crockett card and I've got Ivan in Georgia. Well, Flair is going to crop up on Georgia TV a lot, and this might be a way of making the card seem truly national and NWA-centred rather than just a regional Crockett supercard. They made some gestures towards doing that anyway, and Race was not a Crockett guy either, so this is not a huge stretch.

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January - Week 1


It's GCW on TBS and there is a call from the Kremlin. It's Leonid Brezhnev


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"Comrade Koloff ... Comrade Koloff!"


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"Premier Brezhnev! ... yes, comrade?"


"You were once a great man Ivan. You made Moscow proud. You brought gold back to the USSR. You showed those capitalist ideologists that the Soviet Union is best, that communism works, comrade. You were many things to many people. You were ... a champion."


[ivan looks tearful]


"That was then, comrade. But what about now? When the babooshkas in Mother Russia are at home watching Georgia Championship Wrestling on their state-provided television sets, comrade -- what do you think they see?"


[ivan makes no reply]


"They see you disgrace yourself, comrade. They see you lose to this 'Paul Orndorff'. They see you get pinned by 'Dick Slater' and 'Ole Ander-son'. Who is this 'Ander-son'? He is from Sweden, no? What our your countrymen to think, comrade?"


"I ... I ... I am old comrade. I am not the man I was"


"NOW NOW! Do not let me hear you speak like that! Life with the bourgouis pigs make you soft, no? Make your belly fat? You watch 'Mickey Mouse' and eat burgers all day, Ivan, is that it? ENOUGH! You have six months, Ivan, six months to turn this around. I want only wins, all the time. One loss, just one, and you will be brought back home and sent to Seberia!"


"NO COMRADE, noooo!"


"Yes. Now, I have important matters to attend to, comrade. This vodka will not drink itself"

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January - Week 2


Ivan Koloff vs. Brad Armstrong


Ivan comes out looking very tentative and pensive. It is clear that there is something heavy weighing on his mind. During the match Armstrong gains the upperhand until there's a ref bump and in desperation Ivan grabs the chain for the cheap win. He shakes his head. He didn't want to win this way, but it's the only way he could win against a young up and comer like Armstrong. The commentators put this narrative over strong.


January - Week 3


Vignette: Shopping with Ivan Koloff


Ivan is out doing his grocery shopping with The Iron Sheik and Ole Anderson. He is working down the tinned goods aisle when he stops, grabs a tin of peas and studies it.


Ivan: Comrades, see this can of peas here. This can of peas was ...


Iron Sheik: Iran, namber 1!


Ivan: ... made in America ...


Iron Sheik: I break the backs of Imerica, make it hamble!


Ivan: These peas ... only $0.36 to buy.


Ole: That, my man, is called CAPITALISM. You see those prices are kept down by the free market, by consumer power ... it's a very efficient system.


Ivan: Only 36 cents ...


Ivan looks disheartened. He opens up his wallet to take out a photo and looks at it.


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He closes his eyes and looks rueful.


Ole: Come on Ivan, we need to get going. This steak won't cook itself.


January - Week 4


Ivan Koloff, Ole Anderson, and The Iron Sheik vs. Tommy Rich, Paul Orndorff and Stan Hansen


Ivan is even more contemplative walking down the isle. Iron Sheik has to stop and look back to see where he is twice as they are walking down. In the match the heels win control after the initial shine until Ivan tags in. He loses the advantage and the face in peril, Tommy Rich, makes a hot tag to Hansen. Hansen has Ivan on the ropes and dominates him. As his teammates, distract the ref, once again Ivan reaches for the chain. But Hansen grabs it from him and lays him out with it. But the ref spots it! DQ! Ivan is laying on the mat with his eyes open looking at the ceiling as Hansen and the faces protest with the ref and clean house.

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February - Week 1


Ivan is seen sitting backstage reading a copy of One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. He looks troubled.


Later that night ...


Ivan Koloff vs. Joe Lightfoot


Ivan is standing in the ring as the ring announcer starts to introduce him.


"... and his opponent, weighing in at 298lb, THE RUSSIAN BEAR ..."


Ivan goes crazy and charges the ring announcer -- who for this match is former Assassin #1 Tom Renesto -- grabs the mic and smashes him over the head with it. He starts stomping on him in a rage. He's really kicking the crap out of him. Lightfoot goes to intervene. Sickle! Referees Scrappy McGowen and Ronnie West try to restrain him. He pushes them back.


Freddie Miller and Gordon Solie: "Ivan Koloff sure has been acting strangely recently, but this is an outrage! There should be fines and suspensions" [etc]


Eventually a pile of wrestlers hit the ring to try to restrain Ivan who seems to have completely lost it.

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Some key acquisitions now for where I want this angle to go. These guys shouldn't be that hard to get:


Chris Markoff

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(seen on the left here)


Boris Malenko

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and Ed Wiskowski

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I will reveal what the plans are for these three a little later on, but they need to be signed on now ready.


February - Week 2


Video package playing

overlayed with still images from Ivan's career. Every once in a while overlay a ring announcer saying things like:


"And the winner of the match, and NEW Television champion, Ivan Koloff!"


"... And new WORLD champion, Ivan Koloff!"


It should have a strong retrospective feel.

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January - Week 1


It's GCW on TBS and there is a call from the Kremlin. It's Leonid Brezhnev


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"Comrade Koloff ... Comrade Koloff!"

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"General Secretary Leonid Brezhnev is still dead."




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I like Brezhnev much more than Andropov as my stereotypical Soviet Premier. The sort of character Brezhnev was works much better for my narrative. I simply do not care that he happened to be dead at the time.

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February - Week 3


Ivan Koloff vs. Butch Reed


Reed dominates the early going and Ivan bails to break the momentum. The commentators put over the fact that he seems out of sorts. As he stops to jaw with a fan, Markov walks down to ringside wearing a brown uniform. On his lapel is a big letter "K".


The commentators wonder who this mysterious uniformed stranger might be. He's obviously from the USSR and here to see Ivan, they can work that much out.


Meanwhile, Koloff has got back in the ring but he's visibly distracted by this interloper. He's taking a beating from Reed.


Reed Irish whips Ivan into the ropes where Markov is standing and he trips him! The commentators are shocked. Even Butch Reed does a double take.


However, the ref saw it! Instant for Reed, who is pissed off now.


Ivan bails shaking his head as he walks back to the locker room. Markov does a smarmy grin.


Crowd is not happy.


February - week 4


Ivan Koloff vs. Paul Orndorff - Russian Chain match


This match had been in the making for some time. And shilled quite a bit over the past two or three months. Remember that Breznev had mentioned Orndorff by name.


They start out tentatively, and after a while Orndroff gets the better of it and drags Ivan to two turnbuckles. He can't make the third however.


Ivan manages to take control and during this segment, two men in brown uniforms (Malenko and Wiskowski) appear at ringside.


Wiskowski has a giant "G" on his lapel, Malenko a giant "B". They just stand there staring at the match blankly.


Ivan again is distracted which allows Orndorff to gain control and get to three turnbuckles. Ivan manages to cut him off.


The commentators put over how he's still "master of the Russian chain match". Both men have colour by this stage.


Over the next few minutes, whenever Orndorff is on offense, the mysterious uniformed men, who are called "G and B" by the commentators show their disapproval.


Eventually, Orndorff fires up and it's all over for Ivan, he drags him to all four turnbuckles and leaves him in a bloody heap in the corner.


Markov appears now and he has a microphone.


"Comrade. Comrade. It is me, Kolenka.


Gregori! Boris! You have your orders"


"G and B" now get into the ring and start stomping on the defeated Ivan. The crowd start to boo.



"K" carries on talking:


"You have disgraced your country Comrade. You are ... finished."


"G and B" drag Ivan out of the ring. "K" produces a large black sack and they bundle Ivan into this and drag him off to the back. Everyone is shocked.

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I like Brezhnev much more than Andropov as my stereotypical Soviet Premier. The sort of character Brezhnev was works much better for my narrative. I simply do not care that he happened to be dead at the time.

I agree that it makes for a classic Bigger Fool test: the wrestling fans who are too stupid to know that Brezhnev is dead, or the booker.

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Are you really wading into this frivolous little thread to try to prove I'm so stupid that I didn't know Brezhnev was dead in 1983? Serious?


Fuck it, I'll pull the plug on it. Where your particular brand of pettiness rears its head, I take my exit.

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Did Brezhnev ever lay in state for public view like Lenin? You could draw up a story that he was reanimated once a week for his segment (like they used to do with Gordon Solie for the WNN).


Damn, this joke played better in my head than it does here.

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Did Brezhnev ever lay in state for public view like Lenin? You could draw up a story that he was reanimated once a week for his segment (like they used to do with Gordon Solie for the WNN).


Damn, this joke played better in my head than it does here.


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"He blinked! Comrade Brezhnev isn't dead!"


Death and state funeral of Leonid Brezhnev



Wait... this is great shit:


Brezhnev's body reportedly sustained two falls. As the coffin was lifted into place for the lying in state at the Column Hall of the House of the Unions, Brezhnev's body fell through the bottom. After that, a new, metal-plated coffin was made, and as it was lowered into the grave, the funeral servants could not handle its weight and the coffin fell with a loud crash into the grave hole.

I mean... it's disputed, but funny as shit.


Or this:


Andrei Kirilenko, a leading Politburo member, burst into tears when confronting Viktoria at the funeral.

That's easy to rebook:


Ivan Koloff, a wrestling world champion and hero to millions in the Soviet Union, burst into tears when confronting Viktoria at the funeral.

This shit writes itself:


The Russian Bear is on a mission to honor the death of the great General Secretary


In turn, President Reagan has instructed Bob Backlund and Ric Flair to uphold the Honor of America against the Evils of Communism via Pro Wrestling.


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"Gordon... I may not like Backlund, but when the President of the USA

asks you to stop some commie bastards from ruining the U S of A, you listen."





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Are you really wading into this frivolous little thread to try to prove I'm so stupid that I didn't know Brezhnev was dead in 1983? Serious?

I didn't say you were so stupid that you didn't know the General Secretary was dead.


The Bigger Fool test is:


(i) wrestling fans too stupid to know any better


(ii) booker who thinks his fans are too stupid to know any better


It's entirely possible that the booker is correct: wrestling fans might be too stupid to remember that Brezhnev dropped just a month and a half ago.


But if he's wrong, he's running an angle where fans would go, "Wait... what the fuck?"


I don't know when your were born, Jerry... or how old you were when Brezhnev dropped dead, and whether at the time it registered at all with you. I can only speak for myself: I was 16 and Brezhnev was the Boss of the USSR my entire life up to that point. We'd ran through five Presidents by that point (LBJ, Nixon, Ford, Carter and RR), and the constant in the USA vs USSR feud in my lifetime was Brezhnev. Hell, by 1982 even the space race was dead, and the fear of nuclear war was mostly dead because things like SALT 1 & 2. Brezhnev dropping dead was kind of big in the media at the time.


Granted... pro wrestling fans in the NWA Territories and the WWF might have been too stupid to notice. I'm sure Russo would have bet on it.



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I'm not really thinking along the lines of what fans would have actually bought or even what they knew. I mean, the storyline is sort of "hyper modern" enough as it is without looking at accuracies. Verisimilitude, that is what conceivably, realistically might have happened in 1983, plays little part in this. I was entertained by the idea of Brezhnev calling up Ivan and that was that.


Since the historical inconvenience of his death has been brought up though, I do kinda like the idea of Brezhnev as a kind of symbolic ghost for the sort of USSR Ivan represented. I used him as a kind of facile shorthand for the slightly comical "old Soviet hardline" -- comical for me in my arch, post-ironic 2013 gaze of course, sure it wasn't comical for anyone growing up there or even through the cold war era.


However, since I have plans for "the KGB" stable led by Markov, let's see how this runs with the more cerebral KGBish Andropov who I associate with being more on the coldly bureaucratic end of the party. The sort of guy who wouldn't think twice about wiping out a town or whatever because they didn't fill their grain quota. Or in wrestling terms, a kind of nightmare ULTIMATE IRS figure.


There are no real plans for the General Secretary to come back into the story, it's pretty much an Emperor in Empire Strikes Back sort of scene.


Let's try January Week 1 again with Andropov:


January - Week 1


It's GCW on TBS and there is a call from the Kremlin. It's Yuri Andropov.


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"Citizen No. 3592560. Birth name: Koloff ..."


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"Yes, Chairman Andropov: it is me Citizen No. 3592560."


"I have received reports from the politburo that your win-loss record for the year 1982 fell below the required 60%. This will not do for the official representative of the Soviet Union in the sport of pro wrestling. "


[ivan looks tearful]


"This record is unsatisfactory to the party. If it is not drastically improved, you will be replaced."


"I ... I ... I am old comrade. I am not the man I was"


"You must make up the shortfall. Nothing less than 100% for the next 6 months. Should you suffer a single defeat you will be relocated to serve in manual labour divsion 52 of NPO Vektor."


"NO COMRADE, noooo!"


"You have your orders."




Consider this a George Lucas-style remade scene with Andropov's glasses rendered in crystalline CGI. Readers may choose to keep the original scene with Brezhnev in mind or, should the historical improbability be too much to cope with, retcon it out by inserting this alternate version instead.

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Since the historical inconvenience of his death has been brought up though, I do kinda like the idea of Brezhnev as a kind of symbolic ghost for the sort of USSR Ivan represented. I used him as a kind of facile shorthand for the slightly comical "old Soviet hardline" -- comical for me in my arch, post-ironic 2013 gaze of course, sure it wasn't comical for anyone growing up there or even through the cold war era.

There still was in 1983 a lot of "old Soviet hardline" mindset in the USA. Keep in mind RR's Evil Empire speach came later in the year - March 8, 1983 to be exact:




That's certainly something you can work in... looks like it's just a few weeks away from how far you've gotten so far. "Second week of March" type of thing, and Ivan probably is pissed off about it.


As a side note, I don't know if you can get a screen cap out of this:



Like pausing about 0:06 in as Gordon has just moved the mic over to Ivan. Might actually be able to pause several times for several different caps of different expressions of Ivan. 0:14 has Gordon still in the picture, and Ivan pointing to himself for emphasis.



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March - Week 1


Ivan Koloff vs. Joe Lightfoot


Lightfoot is announced and comes out. He raises his arms and gets a small ovation. "... And his opponent, The Russian Bear ... weighing in at 270lbs ... Ivan Koloff!" There is no sign of Ivan.


Markoff comes out flanked by Malenko and Wiskowski. He grabs the mic from the ring announcer.


Solie: "The, uh, K.G.B. have arrived, maybe they will provide us, uh, with some exaplainations for the absence of their compatriot. You, uh, may recall that they took some, uh, rather violent actions against him last week."


Markoff: "Listen capitalist subjects of the imperial forces of America ... "


Crowd boos.


Markoff: "Ivan Koloff has been withdrawn from service. He will no longer represent the USSR in professional wrestling."


Just for kicks, Markoff uses the mic to smash Lightfoot over the head, instantly knocking him out. Malenko gets in a few cheap stomps and Wiskowski drops some elbows. This is a pretty cowardly heel beat down on a JTTS.




Some key acquisitions now.


Doug Somers

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Shouldn't be too hard to lure in the journeyman. Not entirely sure where he was in March 83.


Swede Hanson

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He was doing virtual job duty for WWF at this time, so promise of money plus featuring in this feud should be enough to get him to come down.


Matin Ruane aka Giant Haystacks

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Yes, I'm putting the "fantasy" into fantasy booking here. He had regular stints in Stampede so this is not too far-fetched.




March - Week 2


Tommy Rich vs. ????


Solie: Tommy Rich was scheduled to be defending his title against Ivan Koloff, but no one has seen him since he was abducted by the KGB two weeks ago. Officer Kolenko Markoff has told the NWA board of directors that the USSR WILL be sending a representative to take Koloff's place in this match.


Tommy Rich is introduced and the crowd is hot for him.


Markoff comes out, as ever flanked by Malenko and Wiskowski, and grabs the mic from the ring announcer.


Markoff: "This is what you imperialists excuse for a Champion? I have many men at my disposal who would be able to dispatch 'Tommy Rich'. But there is no need."


He turns to Malenko.


Markoff: "Even Boris, here, a man of experience and wisdom, can succeed ... where Comrade Koloff had failed"


Tommy Rich looks at Malenko -- still wearing his uniform, clearly a man in his 50s, and not a big one -- and laughs.


Solie: "Well, uh, it is to be Boris Malenko, the professor, the Great Malenko, making his in-ring return here against the NWA National Heavyweight Champion, Tommy Rich ... I have to say that Mr. Markoff has surprised me by his choice of representative. One feels that Mr. Malenko may have a little ... uh, shall we say ring rust."


The bell rings. Malenko doesn't take off the uniform.


Rich goes for Malenko who immediately bails and hides behind Wiskowski. Rich is fired up and goes after him. He isn't scared of "the KGB". Wiskoski backs up and Rich goes after him. Malenko sneaks back into the ring.


As Rich goes after Wiskoski, Markoff sneaks up behind him and does a chop block taking out Rich's leg. Wiskoski kneedrops him as Malenko distracts the ref.


Crowd is not happy.


They roll Rich back into the ring and Malenko gets in some cheap stomps. Not long before Rich fires back up though and starts beating on Malenko. He goes to the ropes and Markoff trips him. The ref goes over to remonstrate with him.


As the ref's back is turned Wiskoski drags Rich out of the ring. Then, seemingly out of nowhere two masked wrestlers looking not unlike this jump Rich:


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Solie notes that one of them has a large Russian hammer symbol on his tights, and the other has a large sickle. "Hammer and Sickle". ["Hammer" is Doug Somers under the mask and "Sickle" is Swede Hanson].


Together with Wiskoski they start beating the shit out of Rich while the ref is still tied up with Markoff.


Malenko creeps over to behind the ref and gets in the classic "schoolboy" position and Markoff pushes the ref over him. They start stomping on the ref as Rich is still getting decimated outside.


Wiskoski rolls Rich back into the ring and we see a massive man -- Giant Haystacks wearing a big white Russian fur coat and a fur "Ushanka" Russian hat -- making his way to the ring.


The crowd is almost rioting. Solie is beside himself.


He gets into the ring. Hammer, Sickle, Wiskoski and Malenko each stretch a limb of Rich's. Markoff does a Russian salute. Haystacks now gives Rich a big splash. And then another one.


Paul Orndorff has seen enough and comes out. As does Tito Santana. Stan Hansen runs out. Even Ole Anderson seems outraged. The Russians quickly scarper although Haystacks doesn't look like he's scared or in a hurry. The wrestlers seem more concerned for the welfare of Rich who seems like he's about to die.


We get a full stretcher-job now.


Solie is almost speechless.

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March - Week 3


Hammer and Sickle (w/ Gregori Wiskoski vs. Brian Blair and Johnny Rich


Hammer and Sickle go over relatively clean but Wiskoski is sure to get some cheap shots in along the way. During the match, the commentators talk mainly about the heinous attack on Rich last week. They talk about how Markoff has been calling the big man they saw last week the TRUE "Russian Bear".


We see a video package of Tommy Rich in hospital with a neck brace on. He is too injured to talk and so barely raises one hand to acknowledge the fans at home.


Ole Anderson comes out and cuts a promo about American values and about how he is disgusted at what he saw last week. He talks about how he and Tommy Rich had problems in the past but this is just one step far from Markov and his "commie cronies". He also mentioned how for all their ideological differences, he misses his *friend* Ivan Koloff, that unlike these Soviet scumbags, he at least had some honour.


Ole: "God Bless America! I'm proud of this country and I'm proud to live in this country. Do you know why? It's because we don't have to take crap from people like YOU. You're a pencil-pusher Markoff! You're a bureaucrat who hides behind rules and regulations and gets off on telling people what to do. And you know what, you just make me SICK! This is America, you don't tell us what to do here. We have something here called "freedom", you might want to look that up one day and take it back to Moscow. You don't get to come here and ambush our National Champion, you don't get to come here and abduct a man who has given his life to this great sport!"


Ole is in a rage now.


Ole: "They call it the Cold War. Well as far as I'm concerned, you've started the war right here in Georgia! Hell, even some of the boys in the back like Larry Zybysko or even Buzz Sawyer can't believe what you did last week. And we're not going to rest until we've achieved three aims. First, you're going to pay for what you did to Tommy Rich. Second, you're going to bring Ivan Koloff back here because what you've done is totally illegal. And third, by hell you're going to get gone from this country and I'll make sure of it if it's the last thing I'll ever do!"


Crowd is stoked by this fired-up promo which signals a de facto face turn for Ole and most of the other established heels in the locker room.


The Russian Bear (w/ Boris Malenko and Kolenko Markoff) vs. Tito Sanatana


The Bear (Haystacks) simply mauls Santana who puts him over clean in 2 minutes. After the match Malenko and Markoff order The Russian Bear to splash Santana again. Ole Anderson has seen enough and runs out with Paul Orndorff, Larry Zybysko and Tony Atlas to put a stop to this. The Russians bail once again.


Markoff finds the house mic and says: "Ole Anderson. If you want to take on the might of the Soviet Union, why not face us properly with a referee? Sneaking up behind us like the American cowards you are! And you, Paul Orndorff, who vanquished Citizen No. 3592560, known by fat the pigs of 'Uncle Sam' as 'Ivan Koloff', do you want to see how you far against his replacement? You are frightened Mr. Orndorff. Scared to take on the might of the REAL Russian Bear.


Ole and Orndorff are fired up in the ring. Wiskoski, Hammer and Sickle have come back out to provide back up for their comrades, but despite a 6 on 4 advantage, the Russians do not get in the ring.


March - Week 4


Gregori Wiskoski (w/ Boris Malenko and Kolenko Markoff) vs. Tony Atlas


The commentators mention how they didn't think the members of the KGB would be wrestling. Solie mentions Wiskoski being an accomplished wrestler who will be known to fans in Oregon but laments the fact that he has now joined an organization as shady as the KGB. Despite showcasing the fact that he's no slouch in the ring, Atlas soon starts to dominate the match. Malenko and Markoff cheat incessantly, pulling the ropes, tripping Atlas, distracting the ref and other shenanigans of that kind. Wiskoski picks up and extremely cheap win with his feet on the ropes after Markoff distracts the ref long enough for Malenko to spray Atlas in the face with mace.


Ole Anderson immediately storms out to remonstrate with the referee. Wiskowski tries to jump him but he no sells and the KGB immediately back off and bail.


Ole gets on the mic again.


Ole: "Enough is enough! Are we just going to let this happen? Dammit, this is our country. I want to see the NWA Board of Directors. Solie, tell whoever you need to, I am not leaving this ring until I see Bob Giegel, Jim Crockett Jr, Jim Barnett, and all those other guys. Get them out here!"


Ole is extremely pissed off. Solie puts his headset down and stands up shaking his head. He's trying to tell Ole that most of those guys aren't here.


Ole holds the ring hostage for another few minutes until eventually Jim Barnett comes out.


Barnett: "Ole my boy, what do you want us to do?"


Ole: "I tell you what I want. Those Russians have been causing havoc here for weeks now. Ivan has completely disappeared after they kidnapped him, they put Tommy Rich in hospital and they are making a mockery out of wrestling like in this match we've just seen. And you're asking me what I want you to do? What are the NWA Board of Directors for? Get these guys out of here!"


Barnett: "The problem I've got is that all of their paperwork is sound. The three members of the KGB, the Russian Bear and Hammer and Sickle all have legitimate pro wrestlers licenses and managers licenses. I can't stop them having matches or being at rings side because they have as much right to be there as you or any other wrestler. Ivan Koloff's license -- in fact all his records -- have disappeared from the system. You'd never know he even set foot in the USA. My hands are tied."


Ole: "What about fines and suspensions Jim? Or .... what about ... LOSER LEAVES TOWN matches? Hell I'll beat them all myself!"


Barnett: "As per the terms of a pro wrestlers license, the NWA can sanction matches. So we can do that ..."


Ole: "Then that's it. I want every single one of them ... them Russians in Loser Leaves Town matches."


Barnett: "I need to discuss this with Bob Gi...


Ole: "Where's your spine man! You are the promotor for Georgia Championship Wrestling, and you can make this happen NOW!"


Barnett: "Well golly Ole, I mean .. ya bein' awful pushy ain't ya."


Ole: "Make it happen."


Ole leaves the ring and a shell-shocked Jim Barnett in disgust.


Solie on commentary: "Well, er, Ole Anderson is understandably upset about how long it has taken the authorities to react to this terrible situation that has developed here on TBS"

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April - Week 1


Solie: Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of Jim Barnett and Georgia Championship Wrestling, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you, the President of the National Wrestling Alliance ... he's flown here especially from Kansas City ... Bob Geigel!


Geigel: Gordon, thank you for that kind introduction. I am here to address a very serious situation that has been felt across the NWA. The actions of the group of Russian wrestlers here in Georgia -- that is the group known as "the KGB", the team of Hammer and Sickle, and The Russian Bear -- have shaken professional wrestling in this country to its foundations. We all watched with horror as Tommy Rich was sent to hospital that night and we all wish him a full recovery soon. But beyond that, we are talking about a criminal matter. No one has seen or heard from Ivan Koloff in almost 6 weeks now. While he was a controversial character and not exactly a fan favourite, this is a man with a family. This is a man who has given over 20 years of his life to professional wrestling in this country. And he's gone. Kidnapped in broad daylight by this ... this villainous group representing the Soviet Union.


Solie: Our thoughts are still with him, wherever he may be.


Geigel: The NWA board has decided that matters cannot continue as they have been. In addition to their other crimes, this group has been running roughshod over this territory and its stars using heinous tactics and cowardly strength in numbers. This cannot be allowed to continue indefinitely. As a result, from TODAY, as of NOW, each and every member of the Russian faction must defend their right to be in the NWA on EVERY edition of Georgia Championship Wrestling here on WTBS. Should a member lose, they leave the NWA -- not just Georgia, the entire NWA around world. This great sport has no place for men of their like. None.


As Geigel is speaking, all six Russians walk down to the ring. Solie looks affronted that they would dare come to ring while the NWA President is talking. Markoff steps into the ring. He gestures to Solie for a mic and Solie complies.


Markoff: Now listen, American. Hot-dog-eating pig that you are ... [solie is appalled] ... This is a most grave injustice, typical of US imperialist attempts at global hegemony. But ... [he sniggers] this is America and I have ... ha, ha ... ha, ha, ha ... how do you capitalists say? Rights. Gregori, Gregori, ha ha ha, bring that bit of paper here. Read it for these fat sweating Americans!


Wiskoski: Ahem ... ahem ... may we have quiet please. [crowd boos] Ahem ... aheam ... ALL YOU FAT AMERICANS SHUT UP! [louder booing]


Malenko: Quiet for the comrade please! [booing even louder]


Markoff: Just read it Gregori, these people are too stupid to know their own laws.


Wiskoski: "Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted."


Markoff: Read it again Gregori and louder, so the NWA Imperialist puppet president can hear once more.


Wiskoski: "Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted."


Geigel: What is this? What are you saying to me?


Markoff: It is the 8th Amendment of your pathetic and laughable "Bill of Rights", you idiot. What makes you think you have the right to impose this sanction on us? Do you think the KGB does not understand the law?


Geigel: The NWA board have full power to make whatever sanctions we choose for professional wrestling!


Markoff: Your terms are not fair Mr. Geigel, they are most unfair. I have access to the best lawyers in Moscow. Should we call them? You must compromise. You must listen to our terms.


Geigel: Terms? What do you want?


Markoff: Let us say that we accept your ruling, that if we are to lose a match, then we leave the NWA. In return, if we WIN a match, then 1. the loser must leave Georgia Championship Wrestling and 2. we do not have to wrestle the following week. This is only fair -- Professor Malenko and I are not getting any younger and making us wrestle at this top level week after week is against our human rights!


Geigel: Very well, on behalf of the NWA board, I accept these terms, but make it known that I do so only because I have full faith in the talent here to beat each of you at the first time of asking.


[The KGB and the other Russians go back to the locker room]


Solie: And now, Jim Barnett will announce the first matches to be contested under this new ruling.


Jim Barnett: Under the NWA's new directive, the following matches will take place this week:


Gregori Wiskoski will take on The Masked Superstar!


Boris Malenko will face off against The One Man Gang!


The Russian Bear will be vying for a place in the NWA against Destruction, Inc. in a handicap match!


Hammer and Sickle go up against the team of B. Brian Blair and Bobby Fulton, in that match BOTH men on the losing side will leave either the NWA or Georgia Championship Wrestling


And finally, Kolenko Markoff will be taking on Johnny Rich, who will be looking to avenge the injury of his brother!




Gregori Wiskoski (w/ Kolenko Markoff) vs The Masked Superstar


Masked Superstar dominates Wiskoski for most of the match. Before long, Markoff is interfering. The ref spots him and sends him out to the back. Superstar dominates again but soon enough Malenko comes out from under the ring where he's been hiding and slaps Wiskoski. The ref thinks about DQing him, but doesn't. Superstar clobbers Wiskoski who falls into Malenko. As Malenko tumbles to the mat he grabs the leg of the ref who trips over. Malenko now rolls out of the ring and drags the ref out with him. A second ref comes to the ring now, as does Jim Barnett who looks infuriated. Superstar has Wiskoski isolated and the second ref is now in position. Superstar hits a neckbreaker and Wiskoski is out. He covers. The crowd count with the ref. ONE, TWO, THREE! Ding ding ding. Markoff storms out. Malenko is up and looks devasted, he remonstrates with the ref. Markoff gets in Barnett's face. It's all too late, Wiskoski is history!


Ring announcer: Gregori Wiskoski must now leave the NWA!


Solie is clearly animated as we go to a commercial break. The crowd is electric.


Boris Malenko vs The One Man Gang!


Malenko comes to the ring alone. He looks visibly shaken. One Man Gang charges him and guzzles him. He bails. And the ref counts to 9. He gets back in to break it, then immediately bails again. Ref counts to 9. Repeat. Crowd ... and OMG are getting restless. Gang goes outside to chase him. Just as he does, Hammer and Sickle run out and sucker One Man Gang with a chair. Ref doesn't see this because Malenko slides back in and gets in his face. Hammer and Sickle run back out as Gang is out cold outside the ring. Ref counts him out and Malenko picks up the cheapest of wins.


Ring announcer: The One Man Gang must now leave Georgia Championship Wrestling!


The Russian Bear vs. Destruction, Inc (Arn Anderson and Matt Borne)


Destruction, Inc start out tentative against the man mountain. The Bear is able to isolate Borne and and squashes him in the corner. He goes for a cover and Arn is forced to come in and break it. This happens two or three times. Eventually, The Russian Bear snaps and decks Arn on the apron sending him crashing out into the railings. While he's out, he splashes Borne again for the 3 count.


Ring announcer: Arn Anderson and Matt Borne must now leave Georgia Championship Wrestling!


Hammer and Sickle vs. B. Brian Blair and Bobby Fulton


Faces eat up a lot of this match on top, but ultimate Sickle gets the pin with his feet on the ropes.


Ring announcer: B. Brian Blair and Bobby Fulton must now leave Georgia Championship Wrestling!


Kolenko Markoff (w/ The Russian Bear, Boris Malenko and Hammer and Sickle) vs. Johnny Rich


Markoff brings the whole crew to the ring with him. He enters first. As Rich is announced, the Russians won't let him get into the ring. This is some ultimate "kings of mountain" here as they cut off any possible angle for Rich to enter. In short, the match can't start. Soon enough Ole Anderson, Dick Murdoch and Larry Zybysko all hit the ring and a pier 6 brawl erupts ending what was surely one of the most event-filled episodes of GCW of all time.

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