Jump to content
Pro Wrestling Only
Sign in to follow this  
pantherwagner

Dumbest foreign object ever

Recommended Posts

From the Stone Cold podcast thread:

 

Today's show with Jake Robers is great.

 

Jake: There's no heat when you hit a guy with a damn sledgehammer. Number 1, both of you have killed your damn characters. If he can get up from a sledehammer folks, I can't fight him.
Austin: That's a very interesting point.

 

Is the sledgehammer the dumbest foreign object ever? Tiger Jeet Singh's use (or non-use) of his sword may be actually worse but the sledgehammer has been a centre point for the outcome of more big matches so it may be worse overall.

 

If you are enough of a crappy human being to use a sledgehammer it makes no sense to hit somebody in the gut with it or to hold it with your hand and hit somebody in the face in a very obviously fake and protected way. You swing that motherfucker as hard as you can and aim for the head. Of course, you can't do that, because it's pro wrestling, but then why even use it in the first place?

 

If you are going to use it you have to use it like HHH did on the HIAC vs Undertaker - you try to smash the other dude's head like a watermelon. Though if you hate somebody that much you probably should not hug him at the end of the match because RESPECT.

 

To be fair to HHH... he has used it effectively sometimes (smashing Big Show's hand comes to mind), but most of the time it's silly.

 

At least the Berzerker when he used his word on Undertaker on Superstars he tried to stab him. It's a moment that when I was a child made me see the Berzerker as a crazy bastard because if Taker had not moved, well, he could have died.

 

Thoughts? What are your favourite dumb objects?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The sledgehammer is by far the stupidest I can think of on a major stage. Dumb as fuck.

 

Now, my favourite dumb foreign object may have been Mad Dog Vachon's prostetic leg at IYH. And of course, the lethal women's heels in WCW the same year.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sledgehammer is dumb. Sword is dumb too.

 

Anything that could legit kill someone is dumb to use as a weapon.

 

 

What about Hogan running over The Rock with a transport truck?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The prosthetic leg is one of the best ever, no way is that one dumb. It was a weapon of opportunity, it would probably hurt, and it is a prosthetic leg...what is dumb about that?

 

The Sledgehammer is the absolute worst, especially when someone kicks out of a sledgehammer shot. Either the person getting hit with the hammer is invincible or the person swinging it is a weakling. Jake is 100% correct.

 

I never understood why the Singapore cane became the weapon du jour. It is basically a training weapon that is made not to really hurt that much, but then again maybe I'm over thinking it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The leg was tremendous. I imagine Vachon was absolutely thrilled to be a part of that angle.

 

Now, my favourite usage of a foreign object ever is Mascara Ano 2000 cracking a beer bottle on Perro Aguayo's head and it shattering all over the place. Perro's Muto 10 bladejob and stretcher job almost caused a riot and brought months and months of big business.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The prosthetic leg is one of the best ever, no way is that one dumb. It was a weapon of opportunity, it would probably hurt, and it is a prosthetic leg...what is dumb about that?

 

The Sledgehammer is the absolute worst, especially when someone kicks out of a sledgehammer shot. Either the person getting hit with the hammer is invincible or the person swinging it is a weakling. Jake is 100% correct.

 

I never understood why the Singapore cane became the weapon du jour. It is basically a training weapon that is made not to really hurt that much, but then again maybe I'm over thinking it.

 

The Singapore cane is all about historical context that may be lost if you weren't around back then. In either 93 or 94 there was an American kid that commited some kind of crime in Singapore (theft, vandalism or something relatively minor) and it as a huge news item in the west, and especially the US, as it was the first time a westerner was sentenced to that kind of punishment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Kendo sticks" (shinai) were used by workers with Asian gimmicks like Kabuki back in the territory days. ECW popularized the "Singapore cane" as a way to capitalize on the controversy of an American teenager being sentenced to a caning in Singapore in 1994. They don't actually cane criminals with kendo sticks in Singapore, they use canes made from rattan, not bamboo. But of course the Sandman used a shinai and nobody knew the difference.

 

Kendo sticks were solid foreign objects that a manager could cheat with effectively; Singapore canes were just weapons that looked legit painful, probably were, and served no purpose other than violent shock value. Crack!

 

The sledgehammer is one of the dumbest things in wrestling history.

 

A favorite would be when Kevin Steen pulled a wrench from the turnbuckle and used it to beat El Generico.

 

Also...Green mist!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As the owner of a legit kendo stick, I can say they absolutely hurt like hell. The bamboo separates on impact then immediately closes back together, leaving welts where it pinches you. Hurts like a mo-fo on bare skin.

 

Sledgehammer or anything that would legit kill someone is terrible for all the reasons already mentioned.

 

I always thought the title belt shot was dumb, especially when you hit somebody in the back with it. Just looks really weak. Maybe I could buy hitting someone in the head, but I've never seen somebody do it where it looks good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In the spring of 1996, Woman tossed utterly unconvincing "hot coffee" at Flair's opponents for weeks. This annoyed me so much WCW got me to the point where I didn't want to see Woman on my TV screen, which I didn't think was possible.

 

I agree with any and all hatred directed at the sledgehammer, but man do I hate the hot coffee.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I forgot all about that kid who got caned for spray painting cars. That was a huge story when I was in middle school. The disconnect is probably my knowledge that it is a practice sword, not that it isn't an actual cane. One thing to the kendo stick's credit is that it makes a great sound.

 

I never got the point of the fork either. If you are in the silverware drawer why not grab a knife, they are right next to each other.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A roll of quarters always struck me as impractical. Any foreign object that has a better than 90% chance of shattering on impact and spraying evidence of it's use all over the mat seems rather unefficient.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As the owner of a legit kendo stick, I can say they absolutely hurt like hell.

Damn right they do. Most painful thing I've ever been hit with, for sure. And there was a period in the early 2000s when EVERYONE was using the damn things.

 

I generally hate anything that is more of a murder weapon than a foreign object. Sledgehammers, baseball bats, swords, knives, anything with a sharp edge on it. Even the dumbest of marks can tell that the workers aren't using the weapon in the manner you'd really use it in a fight, just gingerly poking and prodding at each other in a really phony-looking manner.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Actually yea baseball bats are really stupid. I know everyone was going crazy for Sting coming in and taking out the entire nWo with his bat but it almost always looked like shit when he'd hit someone with it. If you can't actually hit someone with it without really fucking them up you probably shouldn't be using it in a wrestling context.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well and sometimes Sting's bat would bend after a hit, which made the entire thing look hokey.

 

I just thought about the FMW special: Mr Pogo's scythe. Another great example of : you bring that big ass sickle and you use it like THAT?

 

And really dumb, but in a completely different way, was the staple gun that became an indy hardcore wrestling feature in the 00's.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well and sometimes Sting's bat would bend after a hit, which made the entire thing look hokey.

 

I just thought about the FMW special: Mr Pogo's scythe. Another great example of : you bring that big ass sickle and you use it like THAT?

 

And really dumb, but in a completely different way, was the staple gun that became an indy hardcore wrestling feature in the 00's.

I seem to remember Duggan hitting someone with a 2x4 that bent one time also.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×