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Things A Smart Wrestler Should Never Do...

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Just a bit of fun!

 

So I recently re-watched this match from NOAH's 2009 Great Voyage, it was Kawada/Taue vs. Akiyama/KENTA. At roughly 1.55, KENTA decides to slap Kawada, the expression of Dangerous K says it all. Adding to the stupidity, KENTA then proceeds to throw some of Kawada's own signature kicks against him. The result? Kawada enraged, slaps KENTA repeatedly and then kicks his head off. A more Genre Savvy (if you like) wrestler would realise the danger in aggravating a miserable veteran like Kawada.

 

It got me thinking about other stupid (kayfabe) things wrestlers do in matches that nine times out of ten, result in them getting levelled or losing control of the match.

 

Some well known examples:

 

- Ric Flair attempting an aerial dive.

- Anybody attempting to Powerbomb Billy Kidman.

- Striking Hogan when he's "Hulking Up".

- Attempting to punch Cena when he's connected with two running shoulder tackles.

 

 

Anybody got any less well known examples of genre stupidity, or examples of wrestlers doing things in matches that simply aren't a smart idea, based upon the kind of opponent they are facing?

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A really standard one, especially in 80s WWF, is Irish whipping the opponent into the ropes and then putting your head down for a backdrop which almost always resulted in the babyface getting back on top and Gorilla Monsoon busting out the line "that was a cardinal mistake for a pro".

 

One of the most basic WWF transition spots.

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If somebody throws a chair at you and you're facing RVD? Don't catch it. Only bad things happen.

 

If you're in a battle royal and throw somebody known for their agility over the top? Make sure that their feet land on the floor. Don't turn your back.

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Getting up off the mat to face HBK when you hear him stomping on the mat in the corner.

 

 

In a tag match, the outside man entering the ring to argue with the ref while the opponents pummel his partner.

 

 

When a manager/valet/second grabs someone's foot, the aggrieved party standing with his back to the action doing the "What's up with that?" pose.

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Accepting the heels offer of a handshake.

 

Turning your back on your opponent and walking to the ropes whenever an entrance theme hits mid-match.

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Locking Austin Aries in a headscissor and then just laying there while he bounces his way out of it is a surefire way to get yourself kicked in the face.

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Do not go for a corner clothesline to Samoa Joe.

 

If a hero comes out to clear the ring of you and your villainous friends then you should immediately jump him and not just stand around in shock.

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One I always hated, trying the sunset flip on Muckan Singh/Norman/Bastion Booger to set up his sit down finisher. Those poor jobbers just couldn't help themselves I guess, maybe they always thought they'd be the one to flip him over lol.

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Never be excited to be given a delicious cake.

 

On that note; or win a trophy. You know that trophy is getting destroyed just like that cake. They both might very likely be upside your head as well. Wrestlers should avoid cake and trophies.

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Never interfere in a number one contenders match for the belt you hold. Your plan to make sure you have no challenger will only result in you defending in a triple threat match.

In said triple threat match, don't forget your pillow. You are just going to fall to the outside early in the match, and you don't want to rest your head on the floor. You can lay out there all day and let those two dumbasses kick the shit out of each other and then run in and get the easy win.

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If one of them used to be your partner that turned on you, though, don't trust their offer of an alliance. As soon as your back is turned they'll suckerpunch you.

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