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The Pro-wrestling Curve of Attractiveness


El-P

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A night with Miss Elizabeth circa 1988 would involve fancy cheese, good wine, coffee house jazz, and a whole lot of dancing.

 

That's why a night with Liz circa 1999 would have been a whole lot more fun, probably... She got hotter as she got older too, she was at her foxyness peak at the very end of her stint. The 88 Liz looked like some babyface girl from Dallas or something, complete with crappy 80's hair and a subdued, almost submissive, very unsexy attitude. Older Bitch Heel Liz was much more attractive.

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My wife hates wrestling but always thought Chris Jericho and Christian (circa 1998ish) were hot.

 

A girl I work with who catches me watching wrestling when I should be working thinks Ricochet is one of the hottest guys she has ever seen.

 

Me? I'm with whoever pointed out modern day Drew McIntyre. That's a god damn handsome man.

 

As for women.... Beulah is still my all time favorite.

 

 

Yeah, modern day Drew is certainly a good choice.

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What do people think of Elizabeth? I mean she's fairly attractive but I never get the way that she's (still) presented as some impossible beauty.

 

She was an impossible beauty by wrestling standards. Every other valet of the era looked like a chain-smoking hooker. (Sorry if that's indelicate, but it's also true.)

 

Otherwise, she was a pretty and attractive but ordinary "girl next door" type - not a stunning Hollywood beauty.

 

 

Dark Journey was absolutely gorgeous.

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Liz in 1999-2000 was when I was actually saw the appeal. I do like shy, innocent Liz with Randy but I'm not actually attracted to her.. but older Liz did it for me.

 

I said this in an older thread once, but: "Liz fit in perfectly for those who saw Bischoff's WCW as the unauthorized WWF sequel, where all the idols of our youth had been corrupted and become old and cynical."

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The stereotypical blonde isn't usually my thing, but Missy Hyatt was amazingly attractive before she went crazy with the plastic surgery.

 

She's unrecognizable now.

 

I always liked Sherri Martel even if she was always made up to be a little scary during her WWE run.

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Liz in 1999-2000 was when I was actually saw the appeal. I do like shy, innocent Liz with Randy but I'm not actually attracted to her.. but older Liz did it for me.

 

I said this in an older thread once, but: "Liz fit in perfectly for those who saw Bischoff's WCW as the unauthorized WWF sequel, where all the idols of our youth had been corrupted and become old and cynical."

 

 

That's pretty good.

 

I think Kim Kanner (Shakira) is quite an attractive woman.

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I think Kim Kanner (Shakira) is quite an attractive woman.

She was drop dead gorgeous plus she semed to have a lot of fun playing her Big Poppa Pump freak role. She was better than Midajah on all acount.

 

 

I actually liked Midajah. Pure lust. She had that plasticky, bodybuilder, porn star look nailed down. Midajah should've spoken Spanish all the time and acted like a fiery Latina or something. Shakira could emote for days. She also aged much better. I could see Kim Kanner being considered quite an attractive woman outside of the wrestling bubble back then and now tbh.

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I'd like to say that Old Liz is on the list. Stacy Kiebler is probably my all time favorite. Sherri was my problematic fave. Alexa Bliss is built Ford Tough. I find Sasha very attractive. Lana could steal Lex Luger's gimmick, because she is the Total Package. Molly Holly is my sleeper pick for being drop dead gorgeous in a regular old woman type of way while being surrounded by women who were all dolled up to look like Barbies. Eve Torres may be the most attractive woman they've ever had on roster, but they put so many bells and whistles on her she didn't really stand out. If you look at her on her social media, without the crazy hair extensions and wild make up, she's insanely attractive. I'm not into the body builder thing, but if I was Kaitlyn would be my aesthetic ideal. Charlotte was in a goofy WWE video where they played dodgeball, and Charlotte looked 10x better when she picks her own clothes than she does in her wrestling gear. Her wrestling gear isn't very flattering in my opinion. That goes double for Dana Brooke, who wears gear that makes her look dumpy, but every time I've seen her in street clothes she's looked great. Nia Jax is really pretty, like I don't think she'll ever get over as a monster heel because her smile makes her too attractive. AJ Lee is perhaps the best looking girl next girl in wrestling history.

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Well, since we've shifted to talking about attractive women in wrestling, I think Syuri is gorgeous and athletic and a nice person:

 

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And I will always have a special place i my heart for my old drinking buddy Apple Miyuki:

 

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Long before I realized I swung both ways I thought it was weird that I found just about no female wrestlers attractive. That didn't change until the crop of ladies popping up in the 2010s and I branched out into older stuff. There's probably a good chunk of 15-20ish years after the early/mid 90s where I only really dig one or two women active at the time.

 

Guess I'll touch on some of the male wrestlers mentioned here too.

 

Rollins' rattiness, while it does nothing for me, is 100% a big draw for a certain demographic. Ditto the sort of sleazy vibe you get from Ambrose, Dunne, etc. It's not all that far removed from the Hardys' alt-white trash hunk status that bled directly into other off kilter people over the years like Edge, Punk, to some degree Balor.

 

Never occurred to me before but Parv's totally right about Ted. Charming, good hair, good laugh, natural body type. Could really develop a thing for the guy if I saw more stuff from his younger days.

 

Bret's definitely overrated but there's something about the guy. Rustic, plain spoken handyman sort of handsomeness. A guy you can trust to take care of the pipes in winter. Famously had no hog but you make do with what you got.

 

Tanahashi's got a similar vibe but he's obviously more of a pretty boy than a day laborer. Basically hated his hair forever and his barrel chest is too much for me but sometimes you catch him in the right light and the dude's gorgeous.

 

Ibushi's strictly attractive but there's nothing there for me. Too plastic and cold. Dead behind the eyes. Fairly certain he skins cats in his spare time.

 

Young Minoru Suzuki is probably the most attractive wrestler there's ever been, for me. Sharp features, great hair, tons of personality, just the right size. Certified hunk.

 

Kinda surprised no one's mentioned Cena. He looks sort of less... human with every passing year, but Marine era Cena has a real charm. Obviously a guy with a ton of charisma and winning smile.

 

In the same vein as Bret and Suzuki, Regal's got a huge appeal. Most daddyish wrestler behind Jushin Liger.

 

Current guys who do it for me are the likes of Shibata, David Starr, and Dash Wilder. Guess I like hairy chests.

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Here I thought this thread was going to be a discussion about how much attractiveness plays into people being able to overlook flaws in a performer. To the degree that some even prop-up talent to the next echelon because their looks effect their judgement so much.

 

Instead it's just five pages of people talking about who is attractive. I didn't see that coming.

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Here I thought this thread was going to be a discussion about how much attractiveness plays into people being able to overlook flaws in a performer. To the degree that some even prop-up talent to the next echelon because their looks effect their judgement so much.

 

That was the intent at first.

 

Instead it's just five pages of people talking about who is attractive. I didn't see that coming.

 

You're naive. ;)

 

So let's bring content back. Of sorts.

 

Sable is an interesting case, because she had or displayed exactly not talent whatsever apart from modeling T-shirt with her obnoxious fake boobs. Yet, in 1999, she was arguably the biggest star on WWF TV next to Austin. Were the Attitude Era mainstream fans so desperate for boobies to make her one of the biggest ratings peaks (pu intended) when she really had nothing in term of promo ability (let's not talk about her in-ring prowess) nor even character even ? Her heel turn before Mania 15, another brillant idea by Vince Russo at his "peak", gave us the immortal catchphrase of "Are you ready for the grrrrrind ?" followed by the lamest hip-swivel ever. Really, is Sable the biggest case of looks being the *only* factor as a needle mover (pun intended) in the pro-wrestling business ?

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While WWE has always been considered (and sometimes rightly so) the "looks matter" promotion, it seems like they've almost sort of moved away from that. The joke was always that Vince would like/push you if you were tall, muscular, and/or handsome. And while arguments can be made that Vince views Roman as the ideal-looking top star or that Jinder's physique played at least a small part in his push or that Cass' height is why he's feuding with Bryan, let's look at some other acts he's pushing.

 

Kevin Owens has consistently been one of the most pushed acts on the main roster for basically his entire run. A hefty guy with a rough-and-tough brawler look beat John Cena in his first MR match, became the second Universal Champion, and got to work a program with both Shane AND Vince.

 

Years ago, fans probably worried that a guy like A.J. would have been buried in the midcard because he's on the smaller side. And while the midcard originally looked to be his destination, his ability to consistently work great matches has essentially made him one of Vince's favorite stars.

 

Shinsuke Nakamura is a thin guy with weird, cocaine-fueled charisma. Seems like the guy Vince would have heaped loads of unfunny comedy on. Instead, he won a Royal Rumble and has victories over John Cena and Randy Orton.

 

And let's not forget about the big guy washouts like Chris Masters, Mason Ryan, and Ezekiel Jackson. It seems that a good look can sometimes earn you favor in the eyes of Vince, but if you fail to deliver, you're not going very far.

 

Conversely, I think New Japan is a much more looks-oriented promotion. All of their top acts: Okada, Tanahashi, Kenny, Naito and Kota, are handsome men. Sure they can wrestle, but Okada beating Tanahashi for the title after a disastrous debut was seen as an unbelievably huge gamble just because he had a good look and athleticism. Granted he was able to repay their faith in him in full, but him winning the title as quickly as he did has to be one of the most forced pushes in recent memory.

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Kevin Owens has consistently been one of the most pushed acts on the main roster for basically his entire run. A hefty guy with a rough-and-tough brawler look beat John Cena in his first MR match, became the second Universal Champion, and got to work a program with both Shane AND Vince.

I don't see "rough-and-tough brawler" in Kevin Owens - I see a chubby neckbeard. Someone either here or on Twitter (Dylan maybe?) said he's like an avatar for the audience as he looks like a more in-shape version of them. (Apologies if I'm butchering that assertion.) Which is harsh but funny nonetheless.

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Conversely, I think New Japan is a much more looks-oriented promotion. All of their top acts: Okada, Tanahashi, Kenny, Naito and Kota, are handsome men. Sure they can wrestle, but Okada beating Tanahashi for the title after a disastrous debut was seen as an unbelievably huge gamble just because he had a good look and athleticism. Granted he was able to repay their faith in him in full, but him winning the title as quickly as he did has to be one of the most forced pushes in recent memory.

 

It does seem like New Japan draws many more women than other wrestling promotions I've seen, with the exception of Dragon's Gate. They certainly seem to draw a lot more women than WWE. I would say New Japan has the best of both worlds since the attractive men can draw the ladies, but they are also excellent pro-wrestlers for the most part.

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If looks matter slightly less for men nowadays then the women still have a long way to go. The buckets of make up, fake, bleached hair . . . In certain lighting they look ridiculous frankly. Rousy is probably the only exception.

 

What do you make of Nia Jax? (Who is stunningly beautiful in her best modeling photos, by the way ...)

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