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Chachins

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"And a great empire fell and crumbled, and all of the other, smaller dynasties were destroyed in it's wake.  The emperor himself disappeared, and was never seen again.  Or was he?" -- Anonymous

"He can't be killed!  There is nothing that can stop him!  He keeps coming back!" -- Anonymous victim, Friday the 13th part (choose one)


From the ashes of the professional wrestling industry, which imploded almost overnight, comes Pacific Northwest Wrestling.  Surrounded by a ton of mystery, little is known about the organization that has formed in a lonely corner of the United States.  

Undeniably, Vince McMahon had at one time been the most powerful force ruling over the most successful wrestling organization of all time.  Many of the industry's biggest names not only passed through the doors of the former WWF/E but also were created there.  Nurtured.  Grew into forces that in some cases, transcended the entire industry.  But once said industry was shattered to pieces, the former owner, chairman, and evil incarnate himself (to some) vanished into thin air.

His re-emergence at Sea-Tac airport, under a heavy disguise but unmistakably him, has led a number of people to believe that he is the mastermind behind the burgeoning wrestling company that has filed for a business license and seems to be creating a stronghold in a small area of North America.  Word is, he has his own finances mostly intact, but he also has financial backing from a faceless entity.  Which has led many to speculate on some of the biggest names in the industries history and if they may be setting up shop to perform in the Northwest.

More to come soon as we unravel this mystery.  Hopefully, we can locate Mr. McMahon and get a few words from him ...

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The following is from yesterday's press conference in Seattle, Washington, featuring Vince McMahon.

Vince enters with a big grin on his face and struts to the podium like he owns the place.  Or more like he owns the entire world.

Vince:  Hello everyone, welcome, glad to see you all came out.  Before we get to the questions, I am here to confirm the rumors are true.  In the wake of the sports entertainment industry imploding upon itself, I am going to be starting a new company based here in Seattle called Pacific Northwest Wrestling.  Our mission statement is to do what I do best, bring the best of the worlds of entertainment and athletics to an untapped but rabid fan base here in the Pacific Northwest.  I have acquired a license and was able to salvage most of my equipment and personnel to be able to put on professional wrestling extravaganzas like this area has never seen.  You all know that I know how to put asses in seats, to coin a phrase.  I put 93,000 asses in seats in Detroit at Wrestlemania III when Hulk Hogan bodyslammed Andre the Giant.  I not only am the man that put sports entertainment into the mainstream, but I created or had a hand in creating nearly every memorable character that you all love to cheer or jeer.  I may no longer have the World Wrestling Federation, but I did not lose any of my gumption.  In fact, I am more determined than ever to re-establish my brand and to once again give rise to the greatest industry in the world.  Now then, I'll be happy to take a few questions.

Reporter 1: Mr. McMahon, there are rumors going around that several other wrestling organizations are sprouting up.  Many of them are featuring stars from the WWF.  Do you have any comment on them, and how many of your stars are you bringing here?

Vince: I have no comments on what other organizations are up to.  I am not involved with any of them.  I don't need to flex my muscle, I think you all know what was happening between the WWF and WCW.  I will give that other organization credit, they gave me a run.  But I took what they were doing and improved upon it to the point that I was, once again, dominating the industry.  As for the talents I have signed, anyone I wanted is here.  The future of the wrestling industry now resides in the Pacific Northwest.  Competition is good for business, so I welcome the other organizations to put on their shows and do their thing.

Reporter 2: Vince, Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock were your top stars when the WWF collapsed.  Will they be joining you here?

Vince:  No comment, I will not be revealing the names of any of the talent, so please refrain from wasting our time with those types of questions.  Suffice it to say, only the top talent will be here in the Pacific Northwest.

Reporter 3: When can we expect our first show, and what can we expect from it?

Vince:  Expect the unexpected.  As I stated before, I have most of my personnel from the WWF imported here with me, as far as production people go.  While our product will not be quite up to the level that the WWF reached, we will be putting out a quality program, with production values that are cutting edge and far above industry standard.  This is no bingo hall operation.  This seems like a good time to end this press conference with a major announcement.  Our first show will be emanating from Keyarena on Sunday, August 16th.  Now, you may all be thinking it seems arrogant to book a first show for a new company in such a large arena.  Here is the thing.  You want to go to the show?  You won't be buying tickets online.  They won't be available through Ticketmaster or any other venue.  Because this is going to be a free show for anyone and everyone who wishes to attend.  You heard that right, we will not be charging a penny.  First come, first served, we will fill this arena until it's standing room only and the fire marshall threatens to shut us down.  See you on the 16th!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Pacific Northwest Wrestling

Inaugural Show at the Keyarena in Seattle, WA

8/16/00

Attendance: 9,791

 

 

Right away, this has the feel of an old school WWF show. It's not exactly the same, and a far cry from the shows the WWF was putting on in the late 90's, but the tone and feel are unmistakable. There is a little bit of pyro to kick things off, and there is high quality sound and music, but no Titantron, just the standard arena video. The camera takes in the audience and then swings to the announce table which is at the top of the entrance ramp, where we see none other than Tony Schiavone of all people, doing solo work tonight.

 

Schiavone: Ladies and gentleman! You are witnessing the rebirth of the professional wrestling industry! You are witnessing history in the making! Welcome to Seattle, welcome to Keyarena, and welcome to Pacific Northwest Wrestling! I'm Tony Schiavone, and what a night we have in store for you! Plenty of action, and you'll meet some of the superstars that will be entering your living room every week! If anyone can bring this business back to the forefront, our esteemed owner is the man to do it! Before we get to the action, we are going to have a few words from the one and only Mr. McMahon!

 

Right on cue, the opening strains of “No Chance” begin, and the music fills the arena. We see Mr. McMahon step out from the curtain and hold his arms out wide as if he owns the world. He looks around the arena with an air of confidence and knowing, and begins one of his classic manic-armed struts down to the ring. We get the usual “I'm not worthy” bows and a mix of about 2/3 cheers and 1/3 jeers. Vince stands tall in the middle of the ring, looking around for a really long time, taking it all in. For a moment, he breaks character and almost seems a tad emotional, and mouths “Thank you” which gets a round of respect from the fans. But then the crazed look in the eye and smarmy grin return and he is back to being Mr. McMahon.

McMahon: Thank you, yes, thank you, settle down, we have a lot to get to tonight. I hope all of you are enjoying the free show, thanks to yours truly. (He pauses to milk the cheap pop). Welcome every one of you to my latest creation, the best in professional wrestling and sports entertainment, Pacific Northwest Wrestling! Now then, a lot of people have asked me, “Why the Pacific Northwest, Mr. McMahon? Why this corner of the world?” And it's a fair question, considering I owned New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas, London, Paris, Berlin, hell the whole damned world! I'll tell you why. I conquered the world once, and from a lofty spot. So to prove my mettle, I had to find the loneliest, saddest, most miserable place in the country, and try to do it again. And here we are. (The boos are starting). Settle down, now, see, this is why I rarely bought my shows to this neck of the woods, the boorish behavior. (Boos are getting loud) Act like civilized adults, damn it! Anyway, as the controlling owner of this company, I own 50%, and a blind consortium from Canada purchased 25%, I am here to … wait a minute. You heard right, the few of you who can actually do math, that is only 75% representation of ownership in this company. That is because a former employee of mine, whom I compensated very well, owns the other 25%. You may have heard of him. I created him, I gave him his opportunity, and I am proud to present him now! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my co-owner of Pacific Northwest Wrestling, Triple H!

“Time to Play the Game” starts, the arena is bathed in green light, and the fans pop hard for HHH. But nobody shows. Vince repeats the introduction and the music starts up again, and again, nothing. Vince is starting to get that look on his face, thinking HHH is fucking with him. But then the strains of Voodoo Chile (Slight Return) start and Vince's face goes into shock mode. And sure enough, Hollywood Hulk Hogan emerges, playing his air guitar, in full Hollywood Hogan mode. The fans pop hard, as the last we saw of Hogan, he was in WCW, and the two men have not been seen together since KOTR 1993. Hogan milks the pop and heads down to the ring, cocky as all hell, while Vince is fuming. Tony Schiavone is having a conniption fit. Hogan gets a mic and we are off.

 

Hogan: Well brother, guess you got yourself a little surprise, didn't you?

McMahon: What the hell are YOU doing here?

Hogan: You were way too eager to sign 25% of your little company here over to someone you thought was coming to you as a loyal employee, didn't you? Well, the HHH that you agreed to terms with, brother, was none other than Hollywood Hulk Hogan. Maybe next time you'll read the fine print.

McMahon: Wait a minute, there is no way …

Hogan steps towards Vince, who steps back, looking nerve wracked.

Hogan: I'm not done talking, Jack! You want to know why I pulled this little shenanigan? Because you and I have unfinished business, dude. I never liked the way you ran me out of your little company that was built on my blood, sweat, and tears back East. You claim you made this industry, well without me, without me in Wrestlemania I taking out Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff, (pop) without me body slamming the Giant at Mania III (bigger pop), dude, you would have nothing.

McMahon: Excuse me, you have your facts backward. I made you. I took you from nothing to the top star this business had ever seen. And you thanked me by turning on me. You owe me everything. Without me, you wouldn't even exist.

 

All of a sudden, a loud guitar chord strikes, and a familiar driving beat begins to thrum through the arena. Schiavone is in utter disbelief, Vince gets a wide eyed look of terror on his face, and Hogan spins around, looking more curious than anything else. And sure enough, Bret Hitman Hart, resplendent in his leather Calgary Hitmen jacket, strides confidently through the curtain. Vince looks like he has seen a ghost. Montreal is still fresh enough on everyone's mind. Schiavone pushes it big time while taking extra care not to mention the tragedy of Owen Hart. Bret does his thing to each corner of the ring, throwing up the bullhorns, and finally the music dies down and he has a mic. He steps right up to Vince, who is now against the ropes and looks like he might cry. Bret gets right in his face.


Hart: I oughta knock your head off right now.

There is a tense moment, Hogan and Vince both seem extra nervous, as this could become a shoot in no time. This was unscripted. But Bret is a professional and after a long, extra tense staredown between Vince and Bret, Bret steps back and goes to work.

Hart: You two want to talk about unfinished business. Well I have unfinished business with you (points to McMahon) and you (points to Hogan). Everybody knows that disgrace that happened in Montreal, so I don't need to go into any clarity on that, but you, Hogan, have been ducking me for almost a decade now. You never wanted to wrestle me because you knew I would have you on the mat begging for mercy. You held me back. But guess what? That blind consortium from Canada that owns 25% of this company? You're looking at him.

 

Hogan is rubbing his Fu Manchu, processing all of this, while Vince has a look of seething anger on his face, almost trembling with rage.

Hogan: I never ducked you, Hart. You want a piece of Hollywood Hulk Hogan, I'm not hard to find. You never were on my level, and you still aren't. Name the time and place, brother, and we can settle it once and for all.

Hart: How about right now?

The two old vets step up to each other and the fans are digging it, but Vince has finally boiled over.

 

McMahon: WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE! You two may own 25% of this company, and I am going to have my legal team find a way to put an end to that, but I still own the controlling interest in this company and I will be damned if you two are going to come down here and get in a fight and steal my thunder. You want to fight? Get the hell out of my ring. You want to do business? Then listen up.

Both guys step away from each other, keeping a wary eye on the other, but are listening to Vince.

McMahon: That's better. We'll do this the right way. You two want to finally, once and for all, settle who was the real all time greatest champion in the history of the old WWF, then we can …

 

Vince is cut off by the arena going dark. A weird pulsing sound begins, and then Break The Walls Down starts! The lights come back on and with his back turned and arms out in glory is Chris Jericho at the top of the ramp! Schiavone sells Jericho as a budding superstar. Jericho turns around and drinks it in, then the music fades out and he starts talking as he heads down to the ring.

Jericho: First off, I don't care who owns this company, because as of right now, it is officially known as Pacific Northwest Jericho! You all might have this intricate interlaced web of unfinished business with each other, but enough is enough. I represent the future of this business. I am you in 1985 (points to Hogan) and you in 1992 (points to Bret) and you (points to Vince) … well, I will never be a piddling suit like you, Junior. (Vince does his angry grimace). My point is, you all should be bowing down to me. I am going to take this company and this business into the stratosphere, and as the face of this business, I promise you all, the Pacific Northwest will never …. e-e-e-e-eeeeeever!... be the same …. again!

 

Jericho puts down the mic and looks to the rest of the men in the ring. Before anyone can respond, the lights go out again and a moment later, the arena is bathed in an eerie red light. Then a blaring organ note signals the arrival of none other than Kane! Tony Schiavone sounds terrified, reminding viewers this is his first time witnessing Kane.

As his theme music plays, Kane is determinedly walking down the aisle, with Paul Bearer in tow, making all sorts of wailing and proclamations. Never having spoken a word in WWF, that was not about to change now. Without hesitation, Kane enters the ring, walks to the middle, and raises his arms, dropping them simultaneously with the corners bursting fire. As the lights come back on, Hart bails, Jericho steps towards Kane, thinks twice about it and bails. Hogan stands his ground, and McMahon stands near the ropes. Kane and Hogan step towards each other, and start to circle, the man who has leveled a thousand monster heels and the monster heel of the hour. Suddenly, Hart is on the apron, and shoves McMahon from behind! McMahon runs into Kane's back! Kane slowly turns around, and Hogan takes this opportunity to leave the ring. Vince is nearly pissing himself, and we get a goozle, and a chokeslam! Vince sells it like he might be paralyzed. Tony Schiavone is beside himself as he announces that we have to take a commercial break, but as soon as he finds out about the medical condition of McMahon, he will pass it on.

 

~ Commercial~

 

We return to a backstage scene. Booker T. is watching a monitor when Diamond Dallas Page and Kimberly walk into the scene. DDP smiles warmly and says “Hey, Book!” and Booker smiles back with a “Page!” and the two do a bro-hug, Booker eyes up Kimberly and mentions how good looking she still is, with DDP playfully telling him to watch it.

Booker: Man, did you see all that? Is this whack or what?

DDP: Yeah man, I don't know what we've gotten ourselves into up here, but tell you what, let's watch each others backs. This could be a den of cobras.

Booker: (Extending his hand to DDP) True dat, I got you, you got me.

 

Right then, Al Snow walks by, debating the merits of his long hair with Head. Booker, DDP, and Kimberly all exchange a glance.

Booker: Tell me, I did NOT just see that.

DDP shakes his head and he and Kimberly leave the scene. We cut to Schiavone.

 

Schiavone: Well ladies and gentleman, the one thing we have certainly learned so far tonight is that Pacific Northwest Wrestling is anything but predictable! No word yet on Vince McMahon's condition after he was brutally choke slammed by Kane. Let's head to the ring for our first ever match here in Pacific Northwest Wrestling!

Rikishi and Haku vs. Bruce Wilkins and Brett Titan

Rikishi and Haku come down to the old school Islanders theme song, looking huge and serious. Haku's hair has a life of it's own, and Rikishi is not hiding his backside. This goes about as you would expect, Rikishi and Haku no-sell what little offense Wilkins and Titan attempt, and deliberately systematically dismantle their opponents. They end it with a combination Haku thrust kick followed by a Rikishi Earthquake splash.

Winners by pinfall at 3:59 … Rikishi and Haku!!



~Commercial~

 

We return to Schiavone reminiscing about the WCW cruiserweight division, and clarified that while PNW does not at this time have a cruiserweight division, that some of the featured wrestlers on the roster come from the ashes of the former WCW mainstay division. He talks up the two wrestlers featured in our next match, and juxtaposes this style versus what we just saw with Rikishi and Haku, selling PNW as a “something for everyone” wrestling fed.

Billy Kidman vs. Lash Leroux

These two guys are given carte blanche to go out and put on a 12 minutes display of worksmanship, and that is what they do. They have a great chemistry, mixing in a touch of chain wrestling but primarily putting on a cruiserweight type match replete with the requisite high spots. As much as possible, the pair do their best to not make it look too choreographed and do a pretty decent job of it. They work well together, Kidman has the 60/40 advantage but gives plenty to Leroux, who is out to prove his worth. Kidman wins clean with the Shooting Star Press, and Schiavone pushes him hard.

Winner by pinfall at 11:36 … Billy Kidman!

 

~Commercial~

 

We return to the APA having set up their doorway and surrounded by beer cans on the ground with a couple on a makeshift table, where Bradshaw and Simmons are, natch, playing cards. From off camera, we hear a commotion accompanied by thrash metal. Suddenly The Headbangers come moshing in, obliterating the doorway and disrupting the card game. Cards, the table, and beer are everywhere. Ron Simmons yells “DAMN!” while the APA stand up, looking as menacing as they can. The Headbangers have an “Oh shit” look on their faces, but then Bradshaw smiles and claps their shoulders a little too hard and says “Aw, forget about it. Get 'em a beer, Ron.” Simmons looks annoyed as all hell but obliges, and The APA and Headbangers all start to down their beers. Until Bradshaw, out of nowhere, hits Mosh with a brutal lariat, and Simmons takes the cue, and as Thrasher is reconciling in his head what just happened to his partner, Simmons spins him around and gives him a stiff spinebuster into the remains of the table. The APA pour their beers on The Headbangers, gather up a few more cans, and head off.

We cut back to Tony Schiavone, who is going over the rules of PNW's Crash Division.

Schiavone: Our next match is part of the first ever Crash Division in professional wrestling. It differs from a hardcore or extreme match in that while it is anything goes, no count-outs or disqualifications and weapons are permitted, it carries two rules. The first is that every match must finish in one of three ways, a 3-count pinfall, a verbal submission or tap out, or failure to answer a 10-count by the referee. The second rule is that the finish must occur inside the ring. The action can take place anywhere, but the match must end in the ring. So in the event of a competitor being knocked unconscious anywhere outside of the ring, his opponent must find a way to get him back in the ring. This will keep the action where it belongs, in front of the paying fans, for the most part. So without further ado, let's head to the ring for the first ever Crash Division match!

Crash Division Rules Match: Balls Mahoney vs. Van Hammer

Van Hammer is just here to provide a legit looking powerful body to give a good match to highlight Mahoney. Mahoney is generous and gives a decent amount of offense to Hammer. For this first outing in this new division, they stick to basic weapons and strikes, steel chairs, a kendo stick gets involved, a trash can and Balls does some interesting moves using the lid. They leave the ring a few times, head up the ramp, but wind up back in the ring where Mahoney gets the duke with a sitdown spinebuster directly on a chair.
Winner by pinfall at 9:19 … Balls Mahoney!!

 

After the match, Balls gets ahold of a microphone.

Mahoney: Van Hammer? Really? I have to tell you people something. I have looked up and down the roster here for PNW and you want to know a hard truth? I AM the Crash Division. I own it. No offense to Van Hammer and the other stooges on the roster that consider themselves hardcore, but listen, there is nobody in this company that can keep up with me. So I have an idea. Let's make a Crash Division championship, and let's just go ahead and put it around my waist. The rest of this roster is wannabe's or has-beens …

Mahoney stops talking and suddenly has a nervous look on his face. As the camera pans up the ramp, we see Brian Knobbs emerge from the curtain.

Knobbs: Boy, I was hardcore when you were making your diapers smell hardcore for your parents. But I became something worse. I became nasty! You think you can claim the Crash Division as your own? Young man, I consider this division my personal playground, and you are about to get bullied at recess. I ain't dead yet!

He drops the mic and Mahoney looks pissed as we cut to commercial.



~Commercial~

 

Kronik vs. Eric Ramp and Jason Hill

Much like our first match of the night, this is an all out catastrophe for the two jobbers. Adams and Clark don't sell a thing and toss their opponents around the ring as if they were playing cornhole. This one is short and features unapologetic power move after power move, and ends with the powerbomb/diving clothesline combination. Tony Schiavone puts over the dominance and power of Kronik and says they have served notice to the tag division with this win.

Winners by pinfall at 2:31

 

We cut to a creepy scene, zooming in on what appears to be a decrepit carnival funhouse. There are faded signs, overgrowth, and cracked windows and mirror. But as the camera leads us into the door, we see the room with the crazy mirrors is still standing. Suddenly, Doink the Clown appears in the mirrors, distorted versions of him fill the camera lens. He stops, pretending to be surprised to see us, big smile and hearty and friendly wave. But once his hand goes down, the smile turns sinister and the eyes narrow.

Doink: You all laughed at me. Not at first. Oh no. When I first arrived, there was a healthy fear of me. Nobody knew what might come next. But then the worst thing happened. I went from being like Pennywise to being like Bozo. “Oh look everyone, hear comes that crazy Doink! And all his crazy little friends! Fun is going to ensue!” But how fun do you think it was for me? Everyone laughing it up while I stared up at the lights, getting beaten and pinned again, all because I pandered. I lost my edge, and I became an entertainer. Well, kids, a little time away has done ol' Doink a ton of good. You want to be entertained? You want ol' Doink to come up with some wacky antics and zany hijinks just before he gets beat to a pulp again? Then I take great delight in disappointing every one of you. Pacific Northwest Wrestling is my new playground, and I do not plan to play nice.

 

Tony Schiavone is sufficiently creeped out by Doink, but he presses on. He hypes up our main event, saying it should be an excellent match. As Glacier's extraordinarily elaborate entrance occurs, Schiavone sells him as worth every second of it, calling him a future major star and how he got to watch him develop in the old WCW and while things didn't always go his way, this is a new beginning and he could be at the top of PNW before anyone knows it. Dan Severn, alternately, has a workman's entrance, no nonsense, no nothing. He marches determinedly down the aisle and enters the ring, a steely eyed emotionless expression on his face.

 

Dan Severn vs. Glacier

The histrionics of Glacier continue after the bell, as he breaks into several martial arts poses and moves, dancing around a stoic Dan Severn, who seems severely unimpressed. Schiavone is selling this as the immoveable force meeting the irresistable object, but suggests that Severn better move or do something before he gets hurt. Glacier finally goes in for a lock-up, but Severn immediately and with a grace and fluidity that defies his body style twists Glacier into the Beast Choker. Glacier's eyes are bugging out as he taps after a few seconds and just like that, it's over.

Winner by submission at 0:44 … Dan Severn

 

Schiavone feigns complete shock and touts Dan Severn as a dangerous man.

Schiavone: Folks that does it for the debut show of Pacific Northwest Wrestling, and I am exhausted! I have never seen so much action, so much variety, and so much promise in a wrestling organization in my many years in this business. Thanks for tuning in, and we'll see you next time!

After the end credits, we cut to a scene in the back, where Vince McMahon has been fitted with a neck brace and a couple nurse types are helping him stand up. He shakes them off, snapping at them that he can do it. He looks to be in pain, but then he gets that expression of trembling anger and rage on his face.

 

McMahon: They think they can come in here, interrupt me, and take over my company? And chokeslam me? ME! Well, I have just the ticket in mind to send that evil son of a bitch Kane down the tracks.

He grins, and nods to himself and we fade out.

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you and I have done a lot of writing together, and I can say that this is definitely one of the better things that you've put together. I like the movement of the characters I like the format. you know that I'm probably going to say that you should try to limit it down a little bit but that's just what it is lol. The fact that you have Hogan and McMahon in the same picture in the year 2000 is going to be something that everybody has to take notice of. Not to mention you've got Jericho and Kane who are too bona fide superstars at this point I like a lot of the things that you have going on here and I'm looking forward to what happens in the future.

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Pacific Northwest Wrestling

House Shows

Week of 8/16-8/22

 

 

Sunday 8/16/00 Inaugural Show, Keyarena, Seattle, WA (9,791)

 

Dark matches:

Al Snow pins Norman Smiley at 7:23

Varsity Club (Mike Rotunda and Rick Steiner) pins The Headbangers (Mosh and Thrasher) at 7:12

Tiger Ali Singh pins Jay Atkinson at 2:34

Albert pins Mark Staples at 2:41

 

Televised Matches:

Rikishi and Haku pin Bruce Wilkins and Brett Titan at 3:59

Billy Kidman pins Lash Leroux at 11:36

Balls Mahoney pins Van Hammer at 9:19 in a Crash division match

Kronik pins Eric Ramp and Jason Hill at 2:31

Dan Severn pins Glacier at 0:44

 

 

Tuesday 8/18/00 House Show, Ray Reeves Gymnasium, Renton, WA (983)

 

APA beat Harris Brothers by CO at 6:34

Billy Kidman pinned Lash Leroux at 13:39

Booker T. pinned Jason Hill at 2:13

Big Bossman pinned Van Hammer at 6:29

Kronik pinned Kyle Staples and Eric Ramp at 2:36

Brian Knobbs pinned Crowbar at 8:18 in a Crash Division match

Albert pinned Bruce Wilkins and Brett Titan at 4:01 in a handi-cap match

Headbangers pinned Glacier and Shawn Stasiak at 9:55

Chris Jericho pinned Norman Smiley at 7:19

 

Thursday 8/20/00 House Show, Yakima Sundome, Yakima, WA (4,211)

 

Al Snow pinned Glacier at 5:56

Varsity Club (Mike Rotunda and Rick Steiner) beat Jay Atkinson and Eric Ramp by submission at 4:13

Dan Severn pinned Van Hammer at 3:51

Kronik pinned The Harris Brothers at 6:18

Albert pinned Shawn Stasiak at 2:29

Balls Mahoney pinned Norman Smiley at 8:41 in a Crash Division match

Rikishi and Haku and APA go to a double count-out at 9:44

Diamond Dallas Page pins Crowbar at 6:23

Chris Jericho pinned Billy Kidman at 14:57

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Pacific Northwest Wrestling

Episode 2

Spokane Arena, Spokane, Wa (6,989)

8/23/00

 

 

We begin tonight's show with Tony Schiavone energetically introducing us to a full night of wrestling and action, and before he can even finish, the opening chords of No Chance begin and we see Vince McMahon emerge from the curtain at the top, wearing a neckbrace, and smiling. Then he begins to wave to the mixed reaction but winces as if he is in pain, overselling his injury, then begins to power walk down to the ring, but about ¼ of the way down, he winces and grabs his neck, and walks down gingerly the rest of the way. A couple officials are at the ring steps and help him into the ring. The mixed reaction turns to mostly boos as he is helped into the ring.

McMahon: Yes, thank you, thank you very much. Now then, I am going to cut straight to the chase. Do you see this neck brace? This is the result of that heinous action from that evil bastard child of Paul Bearer, known as Kane! (Schiavone gets nervous at the name calling of Kane.) Yeah, I said it! On one of the most triumphant nights of my long, storied career in this business, not only do I have those ungrateful icons, Hollywood Hulk Hogan and Bret Hitman Hart (both name drops get a big pop) come down and ruin things, I have that arrogant Chris Jericho try to rename my company … MY company. Then I get blessed with the Big Red Machine coming down here, and choke slamming me, in MY ring! Well of course, that is not going to stand. But as you all know, I am a fair and honest man (major boos), and I will settle this matter here tonight. So Paul Bearer, I want you to come out here RIGHT NOW!

Kane's music hits and we see Paul Bearer emerge alone through the curtain, looking terrified, but then his terror becomes a big grin and Kane comes through to a huge pop. They begin to come down the ramp but Vince yells to cut the music, and demands Paul Bearer order Kane to stay out of the ring. Paul Bearer does some histrionics, but ultimately tells Kane to stay at ringside and not to attack Mr. McMahon.

McMahon: Mr. Bearer, you see, I am not happy with you and with your bastard son one bit. But I am a fair man. And so I am going to give you an opportunity to not have your little boy there FIRED. So here tonight, Kane is going to be in a special, first of it's kind match. If Kane wins, he will stay employed here in Pacific Northwest Wrestling. If he loses … then both of you are FIRED!

Vince pauses to milk the boos a little, the cocky, smarmy grin on his face.

McMahon: This match is going to be called Hell's Battle Royal. Here is how it works. Kane will enter the ring first. Then three competitors will come down to the ring. Their goal is to work together to eliminate Kane by tossing him over the top rope under battle royal rules. After three minutes, another three competitors will come down. Any men left standing from the first three will be joined by them, so potentially it could become 6 against 1. After three more minutes, if Kane survives, a final group of three competitors will come down. So again, depending on if Kane has managed to eliminate any of them, this could become 9 on 1. If, at any point, Kane is thrown over the top rope, he and you are fired, never to return to the Pacific Northwest. However, if Kane manages to eliminate all 9 men, then your jobs are safe. And this match happens … TONIGHT!

No Chance comes back on as Paul Bearer looks terrified again, shaking his head and moaning a series of “No's” and “Oh no's” while Kane looks on, unmoving, unflinching, unfeeling. Vince has to go around Kane to get back up the ramp, and Kane tilts his head as Vince draws near. Vince swallows big, holding his hands up, and Kane allows him to pass.

Schiavone is selling this match, tonight's main event, big time, as we cut to commercial

 

~Commercial~

 

We return to the ring where Shawn Stasiak has just been introduced, with Schiavone pushing him as an up and comer. Then “Self Hi-Five” begins and we get DDP and Kimberly coming down to a really good pop.

Diamond Dallas Page (w/Kimberly) vs. Shawn Stasiak

This is a good, high energy match to kick off tonight's wrestling. Stasiak comports himself well and does the job as DDP is highlighted here. Stasiak actually gets a couple nearfalls, and Schiavone sells DDP's perseverance and never say die attitude as his keys to victory. After a spirited back and forth bout, a sudden Diamond Cutter ends our opening bout.

Winner by pinfall at 7:49 … Diamond Dallas Page!!

 

We cut to the backstage area and see Booker T was watching his friend on a monitor and pumps his fist at the victory. We hear a voice from off camera say “Was that supposed to be impressive?”

Booker looks a little annoyed as Jeff Jarrett, with guitar over his shoulder, walks into frame.

Booker: Tell me you did not just say that!

Jarrett: I said it, and I'll say it again if you're hard of hearing.

Booker: (Stepping up to him) I recommend you not test my hearing.

Jarrett: If you got a problem with me, maybe it's professional jealousy. You know when WCW went down, I was going to be the man to take it into the next milennium. You were going to be my support.

Booker: Son, if you think you ahead me of on the food chain around here, how about you come down to the ring a little later and prove it?

Jarrett: I'll be there. Don't be late.

 

Tony Schiavone speculates on if this will be made an official match and if it is, how much of a main event quality feature it will be. We cut to Vince McMahon in the back, talking to an unseen person.

McMahon: You are my secret weapon. Tonight, I plan to rid myself and Pacific Northwest Wrestling of Kane and his rather rotund father, Paul Bearer. But if, against all odds, he somehow survives Hell's Battle Royal, then he is all yours.

 

~Commercial~

 

Tony Schiavone hypes up the new Crash Division and pushes how Balls Mahoney and Brian Knobbs are vying to be the top dogs in this division, but that there are several other names on the roster not to be disregarded.

Crash Division Match: Brian Knobbs vs. Crowbar

The nature of this match makes it so Crowbar, even playing the role of enhancement talent in this case, gets a ton of offense in. The story is interesting as Crowbar has more of a throw caution to the wind and go down in a blaze of glory style while Knobbs is more methodical and in his use of weapons and the surrounding ring area. We get very little wrestling, and the match is not particularly good, but it does have a couple high spots includinga Crowbar attempt to Pillmanize Knobbs' ankle, and Knobbs using an actual crowbar on Crowbar and Crowbar selling it like he got shot. The match ends when Knobbs hides under the ring and Crowbar is wielding a chair in the ring, tensed and waiting for him to reappear. Knobbs sneaks in behind him with a chair of his own, looks at the crowd, shrugs, drops the chair and nails a cruel low blow on Crowbar, hooking a leg for the pin.

Winner by pinfall at 7:34 … Brian Knobbs!!

After the match, Balls Mahoney rushes the ring and attacks Knobbs with a kendo stick. Knobbs goes down hard, writhing with the shots from the stick. In a funny moment, Crowbar grabs the kendo stick out of Mahoney's hands from behind, but looks so surprised that he actually has it, that Balls kicks him in the jimmy and takes it back, beating on him with it. This gives Knobbs a chance to recover, and just like in his match, he hits Balls with a low blow, then kicks him out of the ring.

We cut to the back where Kronik are heading to the ring for the next match. Haku and Rikishi are walking in the other direction, and Rikishi and Brian Adams bump shoulders accidentally. Adams tells him to watch where he is going and calls Rikishi “boy”. Rikishi does not take too kindly to this, and the four men go nose to nose, but ultimately it leads to nothing, other than Rikishi telling them to watch their back.

 

Kronik vs. Kyle Staples and Eric Ramp

As at the inaugural show, Kronik give these two pure jobbers absolutely zero offense, no selling everything, and this one is a complete decimation. Not much more to say.

Winners by pinfall at 2:39 … Kronik!!

 

After the match, as Kronik celebrates, Rikishi and Haku rush the ring. A full out brawl breaks out, all four men trying to out stiff each other. Finally, a bevy of officials comes out and breaks it up, and Schiavone states the obvious that we have not heard the last of this.

 

~Commercial~

 

We return to the APA back behind their door, playing cards again, drinking beers, and looking tough. The Headbangers come and knock on the door, and Bradshaw gets up and actually opens the door, while Simmons gets up, wary. The Headbangers are carrying a bag, and let the APA know last week was a misunderstanding and they want to make peace, and they know the APA are big drinkers. Thrasher holds up the bag. Simmons and Bradshaw look at each other, nod, and smile big, saying anyone bringing beer to the party is always welcome. Mosh explains it's not beer, and Bradshaw gets excited, thinking it must be whiskey or something stronger. Thrasher smiles big, opens the bag, and produces two bottles of champagne. In a funny moment, Simmons gets the “Damn” expression on his face and yells “Y'all bought us bubbly!” Bradshaw is looking on incredulously as Thrasher and Mosh struggle to open the bottle, and when they do, it sprays all over Bradshaw and the cards. The Headbangers get an “Oh shit” look on their face, and as last week, the APA slam them through the doorway and the table, respectively, before pouring beers over them once again and walking off.

 

Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

Tony Schiavone sells this match hard as main event worthy anywhere, describing these men as possibly the top two up and coming stars in the old WCW before it shut down. Jarrett plays the cowardly heel role, refusing to lock up a couple times, re-entering the ring wielding his guitar, and using Memphis style stall tactics to frustrate Booker. It works, and Jarrett gets a pretty solid heat segment to start the actual action. Booker makes a few comebacks, but Jarrett is working him over, and focusing on Booker's right arm. Schiavone makes a good point and says he should focus more on Booker's legs as they are his prime weapon, but accepts that any limb being useless is a great advantage. Finally, Booker begins a major comeback, complete with an as yet unnamed spinarooni, and looks to be about to hit scissors kick, but it misses and Jarrett rolls out of the ring, getting his guitar, and parading around until he is counted out. As Booker complains to the ref, Jarrett sneaks in and lays him out with the guitar, then points to his head as if this had been his plan all along.

Winner by countout at 8:12 … Booker T!!

 

~Commercial~

 

We return to Vince McMahon in his neck brace in his office.

McMahon: (to an unseen person across from him) You know what to do. Send that big red bastard a message!

 

We cut to the ring where Tony Schiavone sells this as a huge main event and goes over the rules of Hell's Battle Royal again. Kane will start in the ring, and three opponents will come out, and the match is under traditional battle royal rules where elimination happens when one goes over the top rope and his feet his the floor. Schiavone reiterates that this is not a free for all, all of the other men in the match will be trying to eliminate Kane, not each other. After 3 minutes, 3 more men will come out, unless Kane is eliminated. Then a final group of 3 will come out after another 3 minutes passes, regardless of how many of the others have been eliminated. Schiavone speculates we could see up to 9 on 1 against Kane, and also reminds us that Kane and Paul Bearer will be fired if he is not the last man standing in this match.

 

Hell's Battle Royal: Kane vs. (the field)

Kane enters, and appears to be oozing confidence, as Paul Bearer makes a lot of odd noises at ringside. The first three men to enter are Van Hammer, Glacier, and Norman Smiley. The three men form a plan and circle Kane, who stands stoically ready. It's a slaughter as they each attack and are driven away by Kane. Van Hammer begins to, um, hammer Kane from behind with ax handle blows, and Kane turns around and goozles him. Smiley looks terrified as Glacier starts throwing wild punches at Kane, who chokeslams Hammer despite. He quickly turns his head, Smiley screams, and Glacier is caught. Kane sends him to the ropes where he is met with a big boot. Bearer shouts instructions to Kane to throw him over, and Kane obliges, and in a funny moment, Smiley leans through the ropes and tells Bearer to shutup. Van Hammer recovers and tries to pound on Kane from behind again, but winds up clotheslined over the top. Smiley is in a corner begging off, and Kane is stalking him, when a buzzer sounds and the next three come down.

Al Snow, Lash Leroux, and Billy Kidman are out. These three try a three on one attack, and at first, it looks like it's working. Leroux and Snow are peppering Kane above the torso with shots while sticking and moving, and Kidman is taking shots at Kane's legs. Kane seems off balance and staggered, and is up against the ropes! The three men see their chance, and even the frightened Smiley comes flying in from his safe corner and they are all trying to get Kane over. He starts to lean over the top, and the four men are giving it their all, but it's not quite enough. Kane gets his footing and with a mighty shove, sends all four men tumbling across the ring. Leroux is out first from a big boot, and Kidman and Snow get caught in a double goozle, and Kane simply walks them backwards and shoves them each by the throat over the top. He turns, and we see Norman Smiley back in his safe corner, eyes wide. Kane cocks his head to the side, but we hear the buzzer again and the final three men are coming out.

Paul Bearer looks instantly worried, and Kane steps back, seeing a new threat emerging as the Harris Brothers and Bull Buchanan come menacingly down the aisle. A massive brawl breaks out as the three large men enter the ring, with Kane and all three of them landing blow after blow, Kane holds his own for a minute but the numbers are just too much. Kane is in a corner and the three men are relentless, taking turns landing blows and kicks, pounding away in a style reminiscent of Demolition. But they make a fatal flaw. With Kane seemingly down, the three men turn around and celebrate, raising their hands to a chorus of boos. Norman Smiley starts to warn them, and in a funny moment, Bull Buchanan throws him over the top and Smiley looks relieved and hightails it up the ramp. But as Buchanan turns to hi-five the Harris twins, his eyes go wide, as Kane has risen and looks as pissed as a man with a mask on can. The Harris twins turn around and get their heads clocked together, sending them reeling. Buchanan steps up and Kane blocks his attack and hits him with uppercut after uppercut until he is reeling against the ropes, where a clothesline takes him over. But then out of nowhere, an enormous man charges the ring, takes out both Harris brothers with a clothesline over the top rope, which makes Kane the winner, but then as Kane turns around from eliminating Buchanan, the giant charges and clotheslines Kane over the top! But Kane lands on his feet, and stares up at Albert! Albert is standing in the ring, staring down, and Kane starts to re-enter the ring but Albert kicks him down again. Kane again lands on his feet, and the two men have another staredown as Tony Schiavone signs us off and we fade out.

Winner of Hell's Battle Royal by all other men being eliminated (final one at 13:53): Kane!!

 

 

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I really like the writing that you're doing for Vince. It's a really good way to get him over... I like the crash division and definitely you've got some players involved there to build that up. I also like the movement of Booker t, I really do think that he is a top-tier guy at this point in his career and definitely someone you can build around. Kane is without a doubt the man. I personally always liked the cane that was under Mr McMahon's thumb as a hellacious heel but it'll be interesting to see how this plays out in the long run.

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Pacific Northwest Wrestling

House Show Report

Week of 8/23/00

 

Sunday, 8/23/00, Episode 2, Spokane Arena, Spokane, WA (6,989)

Dark Matches:

Glacier pinned Jason Hill at 3:15

Dan Severn pinned Tiger Ali Singh at 6:12

Rikishi and Haku pinned Bruce Wilkens and Chris Partridge at 4:04

Albert pinned Luke Schaeffer at 0:56

Al Snow and Billy Kidman double count-out at 11:14

 

Televised Matches:

Diamond Dallas Page pinned Shawn Stasiak at 7:49

Crash Division Match: Brian Knobbs pinned Crowbar at 7:34

Kronik pinned Kyle Staples and Eric Ramp at 2:39

Booker T. beat Jeff Jarrett by count-out at 8:12

Kane wins a Hell's Battle Royal match by eliminating the field at 13:53

(Other participants were Glacier, Van Hammer, Norman Smiley, Al Snow, Lash Leroux, Billy Kidman, Bull Buchanan, and Ron and Don Harris)

 

 

Monday, 8/24/00 House Show, Reese Court, Cheney, WA (2,686)

Glacier and Shawn Stasiak pinned Jason Hill and Eric Ramp at 5:11

Dan Severn forced Bruce Wilkins to submit at 1:33

The Varsity Club (Rick Steiner and Mike Rotunda) forced The Headbangers to submit at 10:37

Crash Division Match: Balls Mahoney pinned Norman Smiley at 6:59

Al Snow pinned Billy Kidman at 13:43

Kronik pinned The Harris Brothers at 8:12

Albert pinned Van Hammer at 3:31

Chris Jericho pinned Jeff Jarrett at 17:18

 

Thursday, 8/26/00 House Show, Whatcom Pavilion, Bellingham, WA (833)

Lash Leroux pinned Ernest Miller at 8:29

APA pinned The Headbangers at 6:46

Albert pinned Bull Buchanan at 4:21

Glacier and Shawn Stasiak pinned Brett Titan and Bruce Wilkins at 4:18

Crash Division Match: Brian Knobbs pinned Crowbar at 7:21

Brian Clark beat Haku by disqualification at 4:15

Booker T pinned Jeff Jarrett at 13:03

Kane pinned Tiger Ali Singh at 3:15

Chris Jericho pinned Billy Kidman at 18:31

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Pacific Northwest Wrestling

Episode 3

Rogers Arena, Vancouver, British Columbia (10,007)

8-30-00

 

 

We have a hard opening today with shots of the arena, a quick welcome from Tony Schiavone, and then the arena goes dark for an instant until it is bathed in pink and flashing lights and then a screeching guitar chord fills Rogers Arena and Canada gives a heroes welcome to Bret Hitman Hart, who takes his time coming down to the ring, soaking it all in. The lights come on as he enters the ring and does the bullhorns to all four sides of the ring, then grabs a mic and cuts right down to business.

Hart: You know, they didn't give me a script tonight, so I'll be speaking to all of you right from the heart. And there is no better place I could think to have this little talk than on Canadian soil. (Pop). I've been in this business a long time and there is nothing I haven't seen, no defeat I haven't taken, no glorious win that makes or breaks a career. I have experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows this business can offer. (He pauses, and glances skyward, and the audience starts to clap as a “Owen! Owen!” chant breaks out. It obviously hits Bret a little hard, and he loses his composure, muttering a choked up “Thank you”. He takes a deep breath and continues.) So as you all might suspect, the in-ring portion of my career is winding down. (Major boos). It's not easy to say, but retirement is around the corner. (More boos). No, wait, that doesn't mean I am going anywhere. I purchased 25% of this company because as I said in our first show back, I have some unfinished business before I walk up that ramp for the last time!

Now, everyone knows what happened a few years ago, why I left the WWF and how I did it. It was ugly, and I am not over it. And I hate Vince McMahon with a passion I save for no one else. But in order to really stick it to him, I have to hit him where it counts. I have to attain an equal share of this company, and take away his control so another Montreal Screw Job will never happen again! That brings me to my next order of business. I also pointed out on that show how Hulk Hogan has been ducking me for years. Well, predictably, he denied it. And it turns out, as we also found out, he owns the other 25% of this company. So, I got to thinking, before I ride off into the sunset as an active wrestler, I might just have one more main event in me. So right now, right here in front of my Canadian fans live and my beloved American fans on tv, I am issuing you a challenge, Hulk Hogan. You and me, no stipulations, no tricks, nobody at ringside, mano e mano. Winner takes all, our portion of the company on the line. If I win, you sell your portion of the company to me for $1 Canadian. If you win, I sell mine to you for $1 American. So what do you say, Hollywood?

The fans are going apeshit crazy for this idea, bolstered by the fact that this is in Canada and Bret could sell ice to an Eskimo here. But then we hear the pusling countdown and “Break the Walls Down” starts, and out comes Chris Jericho. He gets a pretty big pop, too, not quite like Bret's, but solid nonetheless. Bret looks suspicious as Jericho enters the ring with a mic.

Jericho: WELCOME … TO … PACIFIC NORTHWEST JERICHO!!!! Bret, put your guard down. I'm not here as an enemy, even if you are 'the man” in this company. I am just here to do what every single person in this arena is doing right now, and pay my respects to a true Canadian hero. I looked up to you since the day I broke into this business. Now I won't lie, I plan to outdo you in every way and end up being the best there is, best there was, and best there ever will be by the time I ride off into your proverbial sunset. But for now, I have a lot of work to do to get to that spot. Your spot. So from places I don't normally talk about at parties, Bret, thank you.

Jericho extends a hand, and Bret looks around, imploring the audience to judge whether or not he can trust Y2J. Finally, after a long wait, he extends his hand and they shake. The fans blow the roof off as their two Canadian superstars are united for this moment. Jericho raises Bret's arm. There are no shenanigans, this is real. Jericho even rolls out of the ring and heads up the ramp as Bret's music hits and he celebrates in the ring with the fans. Schiavone is selling it as emotional as it can get in this business.

 

~Commercial~

 

We return to the ring for our first match of the night.

Dan Severn vs. Glacier

This is a rematch from the main event of our first episode, in which Schiavone hyped Glacier with his over the top entrance as one of the fastest rising stars in the old WCW, until an unimpressed and cold blooded Severn ended him in under a minute. This time, Glacier is a little more prepared, although he still used the way too elaborate entrance. They square off and Glacier gets a couple glancing blows in that Severn mostly blocks, but when Glacier goes for a roundhouse sweep kick, Severn sees it coming a mile away and jumps over it, then locks Glacier in a hammerlock, but it is stiff as hell and Glacier's face shows it. Severn transitions it smoothly into a Fujiwara armbar, and Glacier taps almost immediately.

Winner by submission at 1:19 … Dan Severn!!

Schiavone is kind of funny as he says “Well, at least Glacier broke the one minute mark this time. I think.” But he sells Severn as a cold blooded killer, two matches, barely two minutes, 2-0. Glacier sells it great as medical officials come down to check his arm and help him walk up the ramp.

We cut to the back where we see Bull Buchanan not looking too confident in himself. Schiavone mentions that while he has wrestled well, Buchanan has not had much win-loss success here in PNW, and points out how he was just fodder for Kane in the Hell's Battle Royal last week. Bull looks up and says to someone off screen “What do you want?” Into the frame walks Big Bossman, to a sizable pop. Bossman tells Buchanan he has potential but he is rough around the edges and offers himself up as a mentor. Buchanan wants to know why, and Bossman says he sees a lot of himself in Buchanan and knows the way to the top. Buchanan says he'll think about it, and Bossman tells him he can think about it next time he is on his back in the middle of the ring and make his decision then.

We then see a replay of the Kronik and Haku and Rikishi confrontation backstage last week and the fight in the ring after Kronik's match. Which leads us to our next match.

 

Rikishi and Haku vs. Bob Goss and Greg Rink

As has been the case with every match involving the islander pair, this is a slaughter, with them no-selling Goss and Rink into oblivion. They end this one with a massive double thrust kick that almost appears to decapitate Rink.

Winners by pinfall at 2:13 … Rikishi and Haku!!

 

Kronik, predictably, make their way down to the ring as the bell sounds, and another brawl is on. These guys are throwing soup bones at each other and nobody is giving an inch. No sooner does one guy get a little advantage than the other one gets it back. But finally, Rikishi and Haku manage to get Adams and Clark thrown out of the ring. Kronik slams their hands on the mats in frustration as Rikishi and Haku look as badass as a tag team can triumphant in the ring. Schiavone points out this is far from over.

 

~Commercial~

 

Crash Division Match: Balls Mahoney vs. Crowbar

Schiavone pushes the Crash Division on commentary during this match, and pushes even harder that Balls and Brian Knobbs are proving themselves the standouts. Mahoney and Crowbar put on a sloppy but entertaining affair, utilizing the typical weapons of ringside chairs, kendo stick, trash cans and lids, and also including a comical use of a dictionary which Balls opens up, holds in Crowbars face, Crowbar starts to read the page and gets punched through it. Crowbar produces a three hole punch and smacks Balls in the face with it a couple times at one point. As said earlier, sloppy but fun. Before the match is through, though, Doink the Clown makes his way down the aisle, having fun with ringside fans. Balls looks annoyed, and Crowbar looks confused. Doink enters the ring, and confers with Crowbar that they should team up. Crowbar agrees, and they shake hands, and Crowbar acts as if thousands of volts of energy go through his hand. Doink is laughing uproariously as Crowbar lies on the ground convulsing. He points at him, encouraging Balls to pin him. Mahoney doesn't trust Doink, but he also doesn't look a gift horse in the mouth. He makes the pin and Doink starts laughing and pointing at him. Balls looks geniunely confused as Doink waves “Bye Bye” to him and heads back up the aisle, laughing hysterically.

Winner by pinfall at 7:44 … Balls Mahoney!!

We return to the back and the APA have set up shop in the Rogers Arena with the usual cards and beer and doorway. Once again, The Headbangers make their way into the scene. Bradshaw asks them if they knock, and they dutifully walk around the door and knock on it, with Simmons barking “Come in, already!” The Headbangers look contrite, carrying a boom box. Bradshaw asks Simmons if two beatings were not enough for these idiots, and Mosh and Thrasher say they want to make peace. Bradshaw and Simmons consider if for a moment, and then invite them to the table. They sit down and put the boom box on the table and Simmons deals while Bradshaw asks them why they were skirts, and if they are sissies. Mosh looks pissed but Thrasher tells him to calm down. Bradshaw smacks Mosh on the back hard and tells him to lighten up, he's just fooling around. They play a hand of cards and the Headbangers win. That doesn't sit well with APA. Suddenly, Mosh throws his cards in Simmons face, and takes advantage of the distraction to sucker punch him, while Bradshaw makes a move in their direction only to take the boom box to the back of the head. The moves slow the APA for a moment and the Headbangers upturn their table and run off. The APA get up, and look beyond pissed.

 

~Commercial~

 

Albert vs. Shawn Stasiak

Before the match, we get a replay of the highlights of Kane's dominance in Hell's Battle Royal in last week's main event, where Kane annihilated 9 other men, and the ending where Albert put Kane out of the ring but Kane landed on his feet, and Albert stopped him entering the ring a second time, ending with a staredown. Schiavone sells Albert as Vince McMahon's hired hand to take out Kane. Stasiak tries to stick and move, but Albert brushes off his offense. Stasiak has a glimmer of hope as he ducks a lethal Albert clothesline and hits him from behind with three straight dropkicks, slightly staggering the giant man. But then Stasiak comes off the ropes and runs straight into a fist that Schiavone claims is as big as his head. Stasiak is loopy, and Albert puts him on the mat with a clubbing blow to the top of his head. One Baldo Bomb later, and Stasiak is curtains.

Winner by pinfall at 3:41 … Albert!!

Schiavone continues pushing Albert's dominance and implies Kane could be in serious trouble when these two mammoth men finally lock up.

We cut to the back where The Varsity Club, this version being Rick Steiner and Mike Rotunda, are chatting, and Al Snow walks by having a heated discussion with Head. The VC look at each other and call Snow back, ridiculing him. Snow gets in an argument with Head about whether he should or should not defend himself, until Steiner reaches for Head. Snow loses his shit and shoves Steiner into a rack of tables that collapse. Rotunda is laughing, but Snow turns around and clocks him in the head with … Head. It's not a harsh move, but it surprises Rotunda. Snow storms off as the VC dust themselves off and look pissed.

The camera pans to another corridor and we see Shawn Stasiak walking up holding his head, looking worse for wear. He comes across Glacier, sitting on a bench looking like he is beating himself up over his poor performance.

 

Stasiak: How's the arm?

Glacier: Could be better but it'll heal. How's the head?

Stasiak: I feel like the A Train ran me over, but otherwise, I'll get past the inevitable headache tomorrow.

Just then, The Maestro, with Symphony on his arm, enters the scene. Stasiak and Glacier look at him dubiously, but he stops to chat with them.

Maestro: Gentleman! Have either of you won a match since we started up again?

Both guys shake their heads.

Maestro: That must be disappointing. All the promise, all the potential, all the … (looks at Glacier) flamboyance … wasted.

Stasiak: You got a point?

Maestro: Ah, not just a point, Mr. Stasiak, he of the pedigree. An idea. A calculation. An opportunity to make music that will bring you to the forefront of PNW. Divided, the two of you will hum the sorrowful song of sadness, the bottom of the card. But united … united … a beautiful tune … dare I say golden tones … will come forth. Follow me, gentleman. Let's create beautiful music together.

Maestro gives a flourish, and Symphony gives a seductive smile, and the pair walk off. Stasiak and Glacier hesitate, but look at each other and both shrug their shoulders and head off in the same direction.

 

~Commercial~

 

We return to Schiavone summing up the show thus far, and tells the fans we are in for a real treat tonight in our main event. As part owner of the company and with Vince McMahon back in the states on business, Bret Hart booked a special main event for the Canadian fans. We get to the workrate portion of the night and it's two guys who can put on working boots with the best of them.

Chris Jericho vs. Billy Kidman

On commentary, Schiavone preps listeners for the story of this match, featuring the up and coming young stud Kidman who has had a run of success so far in PNW versus the future of the franchise, the industry, and in his own words, the world, Chris Jericho. This gives Kidman the requisite plucky underdog feel and Jericho the high expectation to come out victorious, and gives the men the difficult job of convincing the viewing audience that Kidman juuuuuuust might be able to pull it off. The story is told beautifully, as Jericho leads Kidman through the type of match that won't shake the world but will be considered a lost classic as the months turn to years and true wrestling fans seek out workrate gems. Chants of “This is awesome!” are peppered throughout the last third of the match. Despite Jericho being the Canadian hero in the match, Kidman garners enough sympathy with close calls and worked spots to make him sympathetic that by the end of the match, the fans are rooting for both guys. Jericho is generous as hell in this match while playing the heel role, but maintaining just enough fan support to keep them from turning on him. We get the hope spot of Kidman hitting the shooting star press, but the impact causes him to hesitate before going for the pin, and Jericho is just barely close enough to the ropes to get the toe of his boot under them. The two battle on a few more minutes until Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho, and Kidman scratches and claws his way towards the ropes, getting an inch away when Y2J drags him back to the middle, and Kidman has no recourse but to tap.

Winner by submission at 18:27 … Chris Jericho!!

After the match, Jericho is celebrating, leaning on the ropes for support, while Kidman crawls to a corner to regain his feet. He limps over to the celebrating Y2J and spins him around, then extends a hand. For the second time tonight, we get a feel good moment as Jericho accepts the handshake and nods his head respectfully to Kidman, who sells the Walls great as he gingerly makes his way to the back. Y2J points to him and we fade out.

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Pacific Northwest Wrestling

House Show Report

Week of 8/30/00

 

Sunday, 8/30/00, Episode 3, Rogers Arena, Vancouver, BC, (10,007)

Dark Matches:

Ron Simmons pinned Thrasher at 6:11

Al Snow pinned Lash Leroux at 8:44

Booker T. and Jeff Jarrett wrestle to a double countout at 5:33

Bull Buchanan pinned Eric Ramp at 2:58

Tiger Ali Singh pinned Jay Atkinson at 3:02

Televised Matches

Dan Severn forced Glacier to Submit at 1:19

Rikishi and Haku pinned Bob Goss and Greg Rink at 2:13

Crash Division Match: Balls Mahoney pinned Crowbar at 7:44

Albert pinned Shawn Stasiak at 3:41

Chris Jericho forced Billy Kidman to submit at 18:27

 

Tuesday, 9/1/00 House Show, Kamloops Arena, Kamloops, BC (2,017 Sellout)

Shawn Stasiak and Glacier pinned Jason Hill and Bob Goss at 4:59

Jeff Jarrett pinned Lash Leroux at 6:30

The Maestro pinned Norman Smiley at 8:14

Bull Buchanan pinned Brett Titan at 3:11

Rikishi pinned Brian Adams at 10:44

Crash Division Match: Doink the Clown pinned Crowbar at 8:10

APA pinned Headbangers at 7:55

Kane pinned Tiger Ali Singh at 4:12

Chris Jericho pinned Billy Kidman at 14:31

 

Wednesday, 9/2/00 House Show, Kelowna Memorial Arena, Kelowna, BC (2336)

Ron Simmons pinned Thrasher at 7:33

Billy Kidman pinned Lash Leroux at 7:18

Glacier and Shawn Stasiak pinned Greg Rink and Jason Hill at 3:56

Albert pinned Norman Smiley and Van Hammer at in a handi-cap match at 4:11

Crash Division Match: Doink the Clown pinned Crowbar at 7:48

Varsity Club (Rick Steiner and Mike Rotunda) pinned Harris Brothers at 10:13

Dan Severn forced Eric Ramp to submit at 0:44

Booker T. and Jeff Jarrett wrestled to a double countout at 9:01

Chris Jericho forced Al Snow to submit at 11:39

 

Friday, 9/4/00 House Show, Monroe Sports Arena, Monroe, WA (1868)

Bradshaw pinned Mosh at 6:59

Albert pinned Bruce Wilkins and Brett Titan in a handi-cap match at 2:12

Haku and Brian Clark wrestled to a double DQ at 6:15

Bull Buchanan pinned Van Hammer at 4:48

Varsity Club (Rick Steiner and Mike Rotunda) pinned Al Snow and Billy Kidman at 11:50

Kane pinned Jay Atkinson at 1:24

Crash Division Match: Doink the Clown pinned Balls Mahoney at 9:16

Jeff Jarrett beat Booker T. by count-out at 7:12

Chris Jericho pinned Shawn Stasiak at 5:58

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Pretty good loop of shows here... I always liked writing up the house shows but just haven't had the time recently. It is definitely a fun way to show all facets of what you're doing with the product. If i would do anything different... just for thought... with Kane - I 'd have him in handicap matches to show his dominance especially in squashes but that is simple. He definitely shows it with a 1:24 victory. The Booker T and Jarrett count outs are good ways to keep that feud going as well.

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Pacific Northwest Wrestling

Episode 4

Rose Garden Arena, Portland, OR (9,996)

9-6-00

 

 

We are welcome in by Tony Schiavone and just as he is about to continue his intro, Voodoo Chile (Slight Return) kicks in and Hollywood Hulk Hogan begins to air guitar his way down to the ring to a mixed but mostly positive response. Schiavone recaps that Hogan is a 25% owner of PNW along with Bret Hart also owning 25%, and that last week Bret challenged Hogan to a match, winner buys the losers share for $1. He also reminds us that Bret has been claiming for weeks now that Hogan had always ducked him.

Hogan enters the ring, cups the ear in a more Hollywood Hogan style than red and yellow style, and gets a mic and we are off.

Hogan: So Bret Hart wants to challenge Hollywood Hulk Hogan, huh? A winner takes all match. Brother, I have been in so many main events in my life, that this one will just be the next chapter in the legend that is Hulk Hogan. So I accept. (Cheers). But I want to address a couple things. Bret Hart likes to claim I was ducking him. Let me tell you something, Bret Hart, I have wrestled massive giants, King Kong in a cage, the best technical and most 'Savage' wrestler you could imagine, turncoats, legends, rookies, and everyone else in between. And you know something, brother, every one of them was staring at the lights as the ref counted 1 … 2 … 3. So Bret, your little idea of me ducking you doesn't carry any water, dude. I faced, and beat, the best there ever was, is, and will be, and you will be the next prey to Hulkamania (cheers for the old school reference). But here's the thing, Bret. I didn't duck you. I was waiting for you to climb to the level of Hulk Hogan, brother. And you did good, Bret, you got yourself a couple world title runs once I was out of the picture. You headlined some shows, even wrestled a few top guys. But you didn't become a legend like me. You made it to the top of this business, credit where it's due, and you are a great wrestler. But I transcended this business and made it what it is today. You can't even approach me, dude. So you want a match with Hulk Hogan? Put our share of this little company on the line? You got it. Just don't try to claim anything about being screwed when you sign your rights over to me. So … Portland … Whatcha gonna do … when Hulk Hogan becomes the half owner of this company and runs wild on youuuuuuu!

Voodoo Child hits and Schiavone sells the Hart/Hogan match hard on commentary.

 

Crash Division Match: Al Snow vs. Horace

Horace, is Horace Hogan, but there is no mention of this made on commentary or by the announcers. Al Snow is at his most insane here, carrying on dialogues with Head, which are the only times that Horace manages to get an advantage. The use of weaponry is limited to chairs, a rake, and a microphone for the ever popular noise it generates when jammed into someone's head. Horace sells great for Snow, who wins it with a crucifix of all moves, while Schiavone sells that a Crash Division match can end in any number of surprising ways. For good measure, as Horace is starting to get up after the match, Snow gives him a Head shot which comically sends him over the top rope.

Winner by pinfall at 7:12 … Al Snow!!

 

~Commercial~

 

We return to Tony Schiavone informing us that Vince McMahon will be responding to the exchange between Hogan and Hart next week from the show in Eugene, OR. We head straight to the ring for our next match.

Bradshaw (w/Ron Simmons) vs. Mosh (w/Thrasher)

This match is just here to keep the ongoing backstage shenanigans between the APA and Headbangers front and center. There has been no clear face/heel delineation in this feud so far, but the APA get more cheers for their actions. It is pretty much paint by numbers, Bradshaw gets the early advantage, Mosh takes advantage of an error and help from Thrasher to get his time on top, and it ends with a sudden lariat by Bradshaw that comes out of nowhere. Afterwards, the Headbangers offer a handshake to which the APA answer with a Simmons spinebuster and Bradshaw cold cock.

Winner by pinfall at 5:49 … Bradshaw!!

 

We cut to the locker room where we see Bull Buchanan getting ready. Big Bossman walks in and mentions that Bull has a big match tonight against a formidable opponent in Diamond Dallas Page. Bossman reminds Bull that he offered to mentor him, but Bull again hesitates. Bossman starts to hype up DDP big time, and finally Bull blows a gasket and gets in his face. Bossman just smiles and says that is what he is looking for. We cut back to the ring for our next match.


Dan Severn vs. Van Hammer

A little tougher competition for Dan Severn who has steamrolled everyone he has faced under two minutes so far. Or so the bookers thought. Severn and Hammer lock up, but Hammer breaks it and attempts to land a couple blows. Severn blocks them all and then does a single leg take down of Hammer who looks stunned and starts to try to get up but Severn is on him with a stiff side headlock. Hammer makes it to the ropes, but the moment he lets go, Severn locks on a dragon sleeper in one fluid motion. That is all she wrote.

Winner by knockout at 2:02 … Dan Severn!!

Schiavone pimps Severn as an unstoppable beast as we go to break.

 

~Commercial~

 

We return directly to the ring for our next matchup.

The Varsity Club vs. Greg Rink and Jason Hill

This is a systematic squash as Rick Steiner and Mike Rotunda use amateur wrestling techniques to dismantle the jobbers. Rink actually has a little bit of a chain wrestling segment with Rotunda but it doesn't last long. Mid-match, Al Snow and Head make their way back down to the ring, and are engaged in a dialogue in which it appears Head is claiming to have lost something from earlier in the night at ringside. They argue as they search around ringside, much to Varsity Club's annoyance. Schiavone reminds us that Snow attacked Varsity Club backstage last week. Rotunda comes down to confront snow as Steiner pins Rink in the ring. They get into a shoving match, and Steiner comes down from behind and levels Snow. Rotunda laughs while Steiner stomps on Snow. Rotunda kicks Head, enraging a beaten down Snow. The VC walk back up the ramp victorious in more ways than one.

Winners by pinfall at 3:38 … The Varsity Club!!

 

We cut to a dark carnival funhouse, the same one we saw in the inaugural show when Doink the Clown cut his first chilling promo. We go past decrepit rides covered in vines and other ruinous elements of a creepy theme park and center on the funhouse and the camera enters. A huge spider crawls past and Doink comes around a corner and looks surprised to see us.

Doink: Oh! So you came back for a little more fun time, did you? You see what I've done? I've left them guessing! (Laughs uproariously). They don't know whose side I'm on, or where I might show up, or who I might … tell a joke to! The fun has only just begun. Now you see, ol' Doink here has decided to set up shop in this Crash Division that they came up with. How crazy. What an opportunity for me to … wait for it … clown around! (laughs uproariously again, but then suddenly stops and adopts a wicked and evil face that would make Pennywise proud, while also lowering his voice an octave or two). But here's one you won't have to wait too long for. All these dangerous men in the Crash Division are going to end up a shell of the men they are, while I will be the last man laughing. (Now breaks out into an eerie wicked laugh, and then stops suddenly and stares into the camera menacingly until it fades out and we cut back to Schiavone).

We return to the ring for our next match.

 

Kronik vs. Kyle Staples and Brett Titan

This is simply another of a line of obliterations to keep Kronik and Rikishi and Haku as strong as possible. No appearance from the islanders this time but Schiavone puts over the absolute dominance of both teams on commentary and alludes to a reckoning coming when they finally meet head on.

Winners by pinfall at 3:14 … Kronik!!

 

~Commercial~

 

As Tony Schiavone talks up Booker T. for our next match, we cut to Booker lacing up his boots in the locker room. DDP is there with Kimberly and they are pumping Book up even though he is ready to face a jobber. So obviously, this is going somewhere. As Booker starts to head out of the locker room, DDP calls him back, telling him he forgot something. The moment Booker turns his back on the corridor and starts to head back into the locker room, Jeff Jarrett clobbers him from behind with the guitar, taking him out. After a beat, DDP and Kimberly rush out to check on Booker, but Double J is long gone. Jarrett is then seen coming down the aisle and declares he is taking Booker's spot.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Bob Goss

Completely one sided squash as a cocky Jarrett gives Goss zip, zero zilch. He ends it with the figure four, making Goss tap.

Winner by submission at 1:58 … Jeff Jarrett!!

Tony Schiavone talks up Big Bossman mentoring Bull Buchanan as we go straight to our next match.

Diamond Dallas Page (w/Kimberly) vs. Bull Buchanan

Bossman doesn't accompany Bull down to the ring for this one, and DDP carries Bull to a pretty solid match.  The story is Buchanan's power constantly keeps Page from getting a long stretch on top, but Page's plucky resilience and dogged determination keeps him going.  After a lot of back and forth in which Bull has the advantage for roughly 75% of the match, he seems about ready to put Page away, but Page hits a sudden Diamond Cutter and that is that.

Winner by pinfall at 6:16 ... Diamond Dallas Page!!

~Commercial~

 

Before we get to our main event, Tony Schiavone recaps that next week we will be hearing from Vince McMahon regarding a few things, but most pressing, the issue brewing between Hulk Hogan and Bret Hart in regards to ownership of the company. He recaps that Hogan has accepted Bret's challenge for a match to determine who buys out the other for $1, in Canadian if Bret wins, in American if Hogan wins. He also pimps Chris Jericho vs. Billy Kidman next week and that Al Snow wants to issue a special challenge to the Varsity Club. Schiavone finishes up by reviewing the simmering feud going on between Kane and Vince McMahon's chosen one to dispatch him, Albert, and how both men have looked absolutely indestructible. Albert has won several handicap matches against jobbers, while Kane won Hell's Battle Royal and looks to send Albert a message here tonight.

 

Handi-cap Match: Kane vs. The Harris Brothers

Paul Bearer emphasizes before the match that Albert better be watching this. It's one thing to take out two local no-names, but Kane rises to the challenge of a formidable duo. The match itself is rather paint by numbers for a handi-cap match. The Harris Brothers work hard at both putting Kane over without making themselves look too weak. They get double-team advantages over Kane, but cannot seem to put him down or hurt him for any reasonable length of time. The story portrays Kane as an unstoppable force, they can slow him down but can't put him down. He finally wins with a double goozle into a chokeslam on Ron and a big boot to Don. Kane hits the tombstone on Ron, and Don gets in one last hope attack from behind, but he is quickly caught and tombstoned right next to his brother, and Kane gets the pin.

Winner by pinfall at 6:22 … Kane!!

 

After the match, Albert seemingly out of nowhere storms into the ring and clobbers Kane from behind. The momentum sends Kane tumbling through the ropes to the floor, where he lands hard but quickly gets up. Albert picks up the remains of the Harris Brothers and gives them each a headbutt before tossing them out. Paul Bearer looks concerned and Kane steps up to the apron as the two behemoths have a faceoff as we fade out.

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