WWE Royal Rumble 2021

[EricR]

I thought this was a very poor show. The tag title match was bad, the women's rumble had a good result but was badly laid out, banks match is below her usual level, Roman match took forever, and the men's match was mostly boring. Riddle vs. Bryan crossing paths for the first time ever was a real highlight, and I want to see Bryan have a match with him like the ones Bryan had with Gulak. I've been watching older Rumbles that I've either never seen, or hadn't seen in ages, and they are so much better filled. 

[PhilTLL]

The long-distance Rumble winner was worn out long ago--I guess it's a remarkable show of restraint that they haven't done it in over 10 years excepting the other one tonight--but it works best when the winner gets a healthy diet of feature spots throughout the match. Instead, most of this match was spent with the announcers reminding us that Edge was still in there, because he spent lots of it just sitting in a corner. A very unmemorable Rumble. **

Playing the fake "this is awesome" chant while there was literally nothing going on in the ring was a really perfect topper for this.

Also on a big guy note, Omas has to be one of the biggest in wrestling history. And saying that Giant Gonzalez "is celebrating a birthday" despite being dead for over 10 years is one of the dumbest things Cole has ever said.

[Stiva]

This constant parroting of stats made the commentary borderline unlistenable but what a sub-par men’s Rumble. These Rumbles where new entrants come in and hit their hot tag offense are so shitty, there were no long-running threads of story, no memorable spots, very few future teases and stare down moments to build in the next few months, just a real flat nothingness. I suppose nobody knew who was winning which was in its favour but giving the Ironman winner spot to a 50 year old Edge is hilarious. 
 

Also, they need to stop mentioning guys being in their 10th, 11th or FOURTEENTH Rumble match since it exposes just how long they’ve had this interchangeable midcard and how stale everyone is

[joeg]

Its been a loooong time since I watched a WWE PPV, but every match on this show was average to good. Were you guys expecting the second day of the Tokyo Dome or something? WWE doesn't do that. Never has, even at their peak. Best we can hope for from modern WWE is a show that's easily watchable. Which is exactly what we got tonight. So I don't understand the complaining. Don't order a Miller Lite and complain when its not a double IPA. Just enjoy the Miller Lite for the beer it is. 

[RingoPlaysDrums]

Mixed feelings on the show. I did actually make it through an entire main roster WWE show for the first time in the pandemic era so that's something I suppose. The lack of a crowd is shit in itself but the worst thing is all the video screens and ultra bright lights and the way they film it. It's all so over the top I find it plain unwatchable most of the time.

- Drew/Goldberg was... actually class? Everything that Goldberg's appearances should be. Action packed, right man won, nice moment after. To be honest I was half expecting Goldberg to win given his previous record over people like Owens and the Fiend so I was quite invested for the couple of minutes it lasted.
- Good match from Sasha and Carmella. Reginald seems a fun act.
- Bad Bunny has to be the most on trend, of the moment musical act WWE has had since... ever? Booker T just standing there in the military gear, kind of amazing.
- Women's rumble, mixed bag. Ring was too full early on, lots of waiting around. Commentary was dreadful. I've got very little interest in seeing the likes of Jillian Hall and Torrie Wilson at this point, they don't fit. Victoria's a good one but without her classic theme song it's not the same. I must be the only person who consistently enjoys Tamina's cameos though. She's hilarious.
- Ending was great, one of the best final two exchanges in a long time. I thought before the match that Belair/Ripley being the last two and facing off Cena/Batista style would be the way to go and that's exactly what they did. They're so clearly the next two big stars of women's wrestling. Could have seen either winning. I wonder if Ripley gets the other title match, also echoing Cena/Batista? Belair/Banks is going to be huge. Not sure they needed to have Belair give a teary post-match interview but ok.
- LMS was a solid WWE-style LMS imo. Up until the awkwardness of the finish anyway. Owens is nuts. That table spot looked like a Foley bump. Surprised Jey Uso didn't get involved and I see he was advertised for the rumble match but never appeared in the end. Why do they do that?
- Men's rumble. Also a mixed bag but it did feel pretty action packed? Cole, Graves and Joe aren't the best but they're so much stronger than the other three it's not really fair. I went a bit mad for Christian. Seeing Carlito was fun. Priest and Riddle got notable runs and both looked really strong. Felt like they shared the eliminations around more with a few people getting a bit of shine but I'm not certain. Don't really care for old fat Kane. Hurricane was a surprise entrant like two years ago. Maybe they forgot. I'm sure there was someone else back there they could've used. Omos just looks incredible. They're booking him well. It's going to be such a shame when he's really over and goes solo only for everyone to quickly realise he can move about as well than the Great Khali in the ring (I'm not sure about this but I'm going to assume).

- Everyone knew Orton was coming back and I thought he was going to do it at the end there so when Edge reversed it and won I was relieved because that would've been terrible. Then I realised I'm not that much fonder of Edge winning. Fine but they really didn't need to have him do it from number one. I assume they're doing Edge/Reigns rather than Edge/McIntyre which I guess isn't a bad Wrestlemania match. Could be a lot worse.
- Those new fancy cameras they've got are unbelievable.

[El-P]

1 hour ago, Stiva said:

This constant parroting of stats made the commentary borderline unlistenable but what a sub-par men’s Rumble.  (...)

Also, they need to stop mentioning guys being in their 10th, 11th or FOURTEENTH Rumble match since it exposes just how long they’ve had this interchangeable midcard and how stale everyone is

It absolutely does. As much like with the "pointing at sign", this is part of the WWE mentality (well, current ultra-capitalism) that puts the Brand above everything else (aka above every human being). The participants matter less than what they do inside the strict context of the Rumble. By dropping this ridiculous avalanche of useless stats, it makes everyone homogenized, from the guy with the most impressive records through the guys with the stupidest records. They are just passing through. The only constant which matters  is the Rumble. The stars don't make the match, the match itself is a huge machinery of recycled tropes (some of which incredibly annoying like the "if you feet don't touch you're not eliminated" which was cute at first but has now long sunk into offensive dumbfuckery as showed by Naomi's spot this year, she was laid out flat on her back outside but yet not eliminated ? Da fuck) which produces stats assigned to seemingly random WWE peons. From Steve Austin to Bushwhacker Luke to Rey Mysterio, everybody is just a stat, what matters is The Rumble Brand, the workers are just interchangeable. Of course it's getting even worse when you're having these guys doing their hundred's Rumble in a row, and I thought this year was really telling in term of how dull the Men's Rumble was, including in its surprises (really, people, you were this happy to see fucking Carlito ? Can't wait for the Elias cameo in 2035, that is if he doesn't spend the next 15 years here  to begin with).

In the end it's why as much as I loved BeLair's win (and the ending stretch which was terrific), I did not care one bit for her post-match interview, because it was a little girl crying because she could Point@Sign. The Boyhood Dream is in full effect, but there's a totally patronizing way of making their current generation's people a bunch of fragile little beings whose only goal in life is to be in WWE (that's what Companies want, really, that your "life dream" is working for their Brand, whatever it may be) and go to Mania, not because they are the fucking Gods of Pro-wrestling and shit but because they want to go to Mania because they want to go to Mania because... There's a reason why WWE can't make new stars. Because they don't want too. The Stars of the promotion are named Mania and Rumble, these two big ones have swallowed every other event (the fact Rumble is pretty much the Door to Mania really means that Mania is the only star) and also swallowed every worker in the company.

Of course, if done right, the Rumble can either make someone or validate the choice of the audience (in term of who is over and who do they want, which is something that has been destroyed during the "not Daniel Bryan" years) and the Women's Rumble this year was a good exemple of this. Although the match itself like I said really wasn't that great in term of inner workings, there was enough fresh and exciting workers in it to make up for it. But their ability to follow-up on anything these days in a non-dumbass fashion is really in question. 

[NintendoLogic]

Here's a stat WWE commentators probably won't be parroting any time soon:

One of the two was Otis, who is 29 and a midcard comedy goof. The other was Dominik Mysterio, who is only there to keep his dad from going to AEW.

BUILDING NEW STARS

[Zoo Enthusiast]

I generally enjoyed this show but I also had basically zero expectations or priors coming in and was just glad to have something on for the first weekend without football.  I had heard from friends that Bryan, Cesaro, or Edge would probably win so I knew after the first two got tossed where it was going with Orton still being in the mix.

[Coffey]

The women's Rumble was a lot better than the men's. They got the last two & the winner right. The women feel young, fresh, energetic & hungry. Sans people like Nia. The men all feel outdated & stale. And I can't get excited for even potential match-ups like Riddle Vs. Bryan as Riddle is apparently a sex pest. At least I thought Damien Priest's main roster debut looked pretty good.

Nothing else on the show mattered. Drew feels like an afterthought & has made no splash whatsoever as champion. Not sure what beating Goldberg is supposed to do for him. It was a lose-lose scenario. If you lose, you lost to an old man. If you win, grats, you beat an old man.

Roman Reigns is the best thing WWE has going & they're having him waste his time with the likes of fucking Kevin Owens. Whom does the Stunner now for... reasons & got a bunch of tattoos but is still just a dude with a beer gut & neckbeard that wrestles in basketball shorts & looks like a fucking jobber. Sasha should be such a bigger star than she is. She just did The Mandalorian & WWE has her treading water with Carmella. 

The issue is you can tell that all the people in charge are old as dirt because they book the show as if it's for an audience of people old as dirt full of a bunch of outdated, bland talent. Like, who was clamoring for Kane to hobble his stupid ass down to the ring? The women's Rumble was def better than the men's but even that was full of NXT people, women pulling double duty & people like Torrie Wilson & Jillian Hall as "surprises" so even the women's side is very thin.

[KawadaSmile]

So we all agree that women's wrestling is superior and that men's wrestling is only good when it's big meaty men slapping meat.

[SirEdger]

Yeah, about that finish for the Women's Rumble. Yikes.

[KawadaSmile]

ONLY ONE FOOT TOUCHED THE FLOOR THEREFORE BIANCA STILL WINS!!

[NintendoLogic]

Only one way to settle this-triple threat match, playa.

[Cowboy Hats 4.0]

Watched Drew/Goldberg and the men's Rumble. Just one word comes to mind: cold. Product/presentation/everything is just so cold.

[sek69]

Overall I thought the show was good, if not a very accurate snapshot of WWE In 2021. 

The preshow match was more or less just angle advancement. They needed to get the titles off Asuka/Charlotte and at least Nia/Shayna is an established tag team. 

Drew/Goldberg was better than expected, which admittedly wasn't much. RIght guy went over but it did leave me with a feeling of "what was the point of all this?"

Sasha earning her pay by continuing to make Carmella look good is always fun to see.

Women's Rumble was great, and it was the first women's battle royal that actually seemed like they had enough people on the roster to not have to lean too heavy on stars from the past. I did pop for Bille and JIllie though.

Roman/KO was great until the finish, but shit happens sometimes. Hopefully it will lead them to stop doing the handcuff trope which was getting a little overused.

Men's Rumble was meh, but it was going to be that way no matter what. There is no hot act that can get the rocket strapped to them with a win, and I suppose at least with Edge there's the story of his return getting derailed by injury you can go with to have the feelgood Mania story. 

It really is amazing how a company that has spent so much time, money, and effort hoarding talent ended up with the oldest Rumble ever. If that isn't a damning rebuke of their system I don't know what is. 

[C.S.]

Maybe Kane is the rare example of someone who learns from his mistakes and grows. 

He wore a mask (I mean beyond the one he usually wears), social distanced, took several Covid tests, and he's donating his Rumble paycheck to a good cause.

https://www.wrestlinginc.com/news/2021/02/kane-to-donate-his-wwe-royal-rumble-pay/

[Robert S]

5 hours ago, SirEdger said:

Yeah, about that finish for the Women's Rumble. Yikes.

Hmm... I thought that spot looked wonky, but when I did a quick rewind I only looked at Ripley (as (1) she is taller and (2) not as athletic).

Somehow Corey Graves got a chuckle out of me with the "she should have turned left at Albuquerque" line when Bugs Bad Bunny went to the top rope.

But then there was some real bad announcing tonight. Can we please finally cancel Lawler? His stuff was cringeworthy 20 years ago, but now? Jeez. I also laughed at the line that Danielson is reaching the end of the road while Riddle has his whole career in front of him. Riddle is 35, not 20.

And somehow in the women's Rumble, of the two spots where someone nearly got injured (Ripley dumping Dakota Kai head first on the ring apron and Ember Moon shoot dropkicking Naomi into the face) neither involved Nia Jax nor Charlotte.

Oh, and I counted to 15 (on the second ref) until Reigns somehow feigned standing up (they either should have done a dry-run or not have trusted Heyman being a handyman). Also shouldn't blatantly attacking a referee be a suspension or something like that?

[Robert S]

11 minutes ago, C.S. said:

Maybe Kane is the rare example of someone who learns from his mistakes and grows. 

He wore a mask (I mean beyond the one he usually wears), social distanced, took several Covid tests, and he's donating his Rumble paycheck to a good cause.

https://www.wrestlinginc.com/news/2021/02/kane-to-donate-his-wwe-royal-rumble-pay/

Why did I expect the "good cause" to be something like America First Action?

[Mad Dog]

19 hours ago, El-P said:

Come on it was obvious. The second Orton showed up it was way too much of a bullshit finish to be believable.

Glad for Bianca BeLair. Sasha vs Carmella was really good.

The rest was pretty much trash (the men's Rumble had a few cool spots but also Kane and a really stupid choice of a winner).

5am. Good night people.

The Kane thing was so lame. They bring him back for everything. They have to be away for you to actually miss them.

[SirEdger]

34 minutes ago, Robert S said:

Oh, and I counted to 15 (on the second ref) until Reigns somehow feigned standing up (they either should have done a dry-run or not have trusted Heyman being a handyman). Also shouldn't blatantly attacking a referee be a suspension or something like that?

I don't know why they just didn't shoot count anyway and have KO win the title. Worst case scenario, Roman wins it back in a rematch filled with shenanigans and everything. Wouldn't have been the end of the world. Just made everyone look bad all around.