Stan Stasiak

[Matt D]

Why the hell doesn't anyone like Stan Stasiak? I'm watching him vs Brett Sawyer here and he's king-sized in it. Sawyer's just a physical mess when it comes to coordination and Stasiak is great as this lumbering old bastard who just walks around the ring locking trapezius claws that would be boring if he wasn't such a looming presence and getting pissed off everytime Sawyer does a goofy Leaping Lanny taunt. There's one of the best jerkiest king of the mountains I've seen in Portland with a really good payoff. He's also pretty great at focusing on a body part with really, really simple but effective stuff. He's like my father in law if he was a wrestler. I really liked him as a face vs Buddy too. He's just a great Mean Old Bastard, like Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino or something. The first fall is something like fifteen minutes and it just flies by because Stasiak is such a pissy old codger. I mean he was only forty something but he seemed like he was going on sixty, but in a good way. Old man has great facial expressions. He also sort of sells like Popeye with this great little bobble of his head but is also willing to bump over the top. Also the sideburns make him look like some 18th century British highwayman that'd be a side villain in some Dick Turpin story. When he has the mustache he's kind of like one of those 1910s strongmen and his posture is downright simian. Also, he's got the best heart punch ever. I want to see him wrestle Sangre Chicana or something.

 

also, Brett Sawyer is the biggest doofus ever to wrestle. I can't really put it in a non-offensive way. I guess, alright. You could commentate over his matches with a funny commentary and people watching would get uncomfortable thinking that Hack Sawyer was probably not "in on the joke."