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TNA Impact SPOILERZ~!


sek69

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These are the detailed notes from the last TNA Impact episodes leading to Destination X on Sunday March 12th. The in-studio audience hasn’t been seeing the big vignettes involving Alex Shelley and his video voyeurism of Sting and I don’t expect today to be different. I am not happy with that but I understand the need to make the tapings shorter. Above the ring is the ominous Ultimate X rigging. The front row of the Pit had several unfamiliar looking people, wonder if something is afoot. Dave Penzer was once again the emcee and this time he was allowed in the ring but only when the show wasn’t taping. There were very few patrons sitting by the Spanish announce team which is a shame because people should come out and watch a wrestling product that isn’t prescribed to insomniacs. Penzer reminded the fans that Spike TV tapings will air on Thursday’s beginning April 13th. During the both tapings no PPV matches were announced to the fans but I am guessing on two at the end of this report.

 

 

 

There wasn’t an opening video of any kind for the TNA Impact to air Saturday March 4th:

 

 

 

(1) Jeff Jarrett (w/Jackie Gayda dressed like a Fembot), NWA World Tag Team champions America’s Most Wanted (“Tennessee Cowboy” James Storm and “Wildcat” Chris Harris w/Gail Kim) and Abyss (w/ Father James Mitchell) defeated Shark Boy, “Iceman” Buck Quartermaine, Cassidy Riley and “the Big Wiggle” Norman Smiley in what basically was one huge brawl around ringside. The match ended when Jarrett hit Smiley with the Stroke after Smiley hit Jarrett with the Big Wiggle. Alex Shelley hit the ring carrying a video tape; he was followed by all of Team Canada who celebrated like Shelley won the World Series. Shelley was trying to convince Young that Sting wasn’t in the building.

 

 

 

Jeremy Borash spoke to Matt Bentley and Traci Brooks about his attack on Lance Hoyt on Xplosion. Their interview time was interrupted by Jarrett and company who told us they were having another viewing party. While Gayda and Jarrett argued Eric Young ran off with the video tape.

 

 

 

(2) Lance Hoyt (happy birthday Lance) defeated Kenny King.

 

King jumped Hoyt at the bell and had brief control, which ended when Hoyt got to his feet. Hoyt decimated King until he hit a one handed choke slam to end the match.

 

 

 

As the match in the ring ended Konnan came to Mike Tenay and Dow West saying the LAX were going to show the Armstrong’s how things went down in their world. Homicide and Machete dragged out BG James and beat him up until Kip James came out to make the save on his “brother.”

 

 

 

(3) Team Canada members Petey Williams, Eric Young (who was hiding the tape in his ring tights) and “Canadian Enforcer” Bobby Roode (w/Scott D’amore) defeated Sonjay Dutt, Jay Lethal and “the Future” Chris Sabin.

 

I think Young told his Team Canada partners he didn’t want to wrestle but he did with the tape in his shorts. Dutt, Sabin and Lethal had control of the match until Lethal got too close to the Team Canada side of the ring. Williams stood on Lethal’s groin and sang O’ Canada while Young refused to tag in. Jeff Jarrett came out and confronted Young about the tape. Young told Jarrett he didn’t have the tape yet everyone in the building saw it in his tights. By the way Dutt and Sabin tagged in and dominated Team Canada. Lethal hit a tope and landed on Young which sent the tape right to Jarrett’s feet. In the ring Dutt had Williams rolled up for a pin when Roode sent him to the ropes and D’amore who hit Dutt in the throat with the Canadian flagpole. This allowed Williams to hit the Canadian Destroyer to win the match. Eric Young is the funniest person in TNA.

 

 

 

Jeremy Borash tried to speak to NWA World Heavyweight champion “Captain Charisma” Christian Cage about his first title defense against “Alpha Male” Monty Brown but Abyss and James Mitchell cut him off. Mitchell claimed Cage leagfrogged over Abyss and demanded a title shot or he would unleash Doomsday on the champion. Just as Cage was about to answer Monty Brown attacked and the two men fought around backstage and eventually to the top of an entryway. Brown POUNCED Cage off the rampway and Cage hit the guardrails below. “The War Machine” Rhino and Larry Zbyszko came out to check on Cage as Brown stood over him holding the championship belt in hand. Could this be foreshadowing to the end of their match at Destination X, who knows.

 

 

 

(4) NWA World X Division champion Samoa Joe and “Prince of Punk” Shannon Moore defeated “Phenomenal” AJ Styles and “Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels.

 

Moore and Styles began the match with Styles controlling the offense. Joe came in but Styles and Daniels worked to send him to the outside. All four men tagged in and out but no one got total control until Styles went to the ropes and Joe tried to punt him to the Spanish announce table. Joe and Moore had some decent chemistry and took the fight to Styles until Joe held Styles and Moore charged with a forearm and Styles moved, sending Moore into Joe. Daniels tagged in and all craziness ensued as Joe and Styles brawled to the floor. Joe dropped Styles jaw first on the ring apron. Daniels hit an STO and went for Angel’s Wings but Joe made a blind tag and hit Daniels with what looked like a running clothesline to win the match. Styles grabbed the X Division title and climbed on the Ultimate X, strapping the title belt to the X and sending it over the ring.

 

 

 

TNA Impact to air Saturday March 11th:

 

 

 

(1) NWA World Tag Team champions America’s Most Wanted (“Tennessee Cowboy” James Storm and “Wildcat” Chris Harris w/Gail Kim) defeated The Naturals (Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas).

 

Surprisingly this match actually began in the ring with Stevens and Storm. Somehow Storm ended up in the Tree of Woe and the Naturals ended up sending Harris into Storm, which created an awkward position that will make children ask their parents why the fans were chanting the number sixty-nine. Once things settled down AMW took over on the oft-injured neck of Chase Stevens. Douglas was helpless until Harris got cocky and Stevens hit an inverted atomic knee drop. This allowed Douglas to tag in and an all out brawl ensuing in the ring. The Naturals had the match won when Team Canada’s Bobby Roode and Eric Young hit the ring and Roode hit Douglas with the Northern Exposure. Harris handcuffed Stevens to the ringside barricade. With Douglas all alone AMW hit the Death Sentence to retain the titles.

 

 

 

Jeremy Borash spoke to Larry Zbyszko as he was reading a copy of Pro Wrestling Illustrated that had Samoa Joe on the cover. Larry told the audience Monty Brown and Christian Cage were barred from the building after last week’s brawl. He was interrupted by Scott D’amore who told Larry he was sick of cleaning up Jarrett’s messes and now Zbyszko’s. Borash asked Larry what that last statement meant but Larry didn’t answer.

 

 

 

(2) “The Future” Chris Sabin defeated Alex Shelley (w/ the trusty video camera) and Sonjay Dutt.

 

Like every X division match, this was fast paced and hard hitting. Dutt and Sabin’s partnership went out the window early on and it was everyone for themselves. Larry Zbyszko stood on top of a entry way watching this match. I am not going to try and keep up with the moves in this one, watch the TV show. Towards the end things slowed down a little bit. Shelley missed hitting Sabin with a five star frog splash; Dutt missed hitting Shelley with a Hindu Press. All three hit the other with enziguri’s and dropkicks. Dutt hit Shelley with a standing shooting star press for two. Shelley hit a tombstone piledriver but Sabin broke up the pin. Sabin hit Shelley with two kicks and an enziguri before winning the match with the Cradle Shock.

 

 

 

(3) “War Machine” Rhino, Team 3D and Ron “the Truth” Killings defeated “The Prince of Punk” Shannon Moore, Matt Bentley (w/Traci Brooks) and Diamonds in the Rough members “Primetime” Elix Skipper and David Young (w/Simon Diamond.)

 

Team 3D, Rhino and Killings were in control until Devon got too close to the other side of town and his crotch met the ringpost. Bentley, Moore and the Diamonds did their best to beat down Devon but couldn’t get the pin. Devon survived and tagged out to Killings who cleaned house. All eight men ended up in the ring. Team 3D and Killings were going to do the Wassup to Bentley’s package when Brooks made the save trying to protect her man’s package. This didn’t work and Devon hit her with the Wassup. For some reason Devon had some issues removing himself from Brooks’ crotch. The match ended when Killings hit the Scissor Kick on Young. After the match AMW, Jeff Jarrett and Abyss stood on the rampway. Ray told Devon something smelled fishy. Rhino mentioned something about GORING a whore. Next thing you knew they were chasing $o Cal Val around the building. Thank goodness the cameras stopped rolling.

 

 

 

The following matches were taped to air on TNA Xplosion which airs in syndication and on Sunshine Network:

 

 

 

(1) The Naturals (Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas) and Ron “the Truth” Killings defeated Team Canada members A1, Petey Williams and “the Canadian Enforcer” Bobby Roode when Killings hit Williams with the Scissor Kick.

 

 

 

(2) Diamonds in the Rough members “Primetime” Elix Skipper and David Young and Simon Diamond defeated Jay Lethal, Shark Boy and Lance Hoyt defeated when Young pinned Shark Boy.

 

 

 

Announced matches for Destination X, Sunday March 12th:

 

***NWA World Heavyweight champion “Captain Charisma” Christian Cage vs. “Alpha Male” Monty Brown

 

***In the Ultimate X match, NWA World X Division champion Samoa Joe vs. “Phenomenal” AJ Styles and “Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels

 

*** Jeff Jarrett, NWA World Tag Team champions America’s Most Wanted (“Tennessee Cowboy” James Storm and “Wildcat” Chris Harris) and Abyss (w/James Mitchell) vs. Team 3D, “War Machine” Rhino and Ron “the Truth” Killings

 

***The James Gang (Kip James, BG James and “Bullet” Bob Armstrong) vs. Latin American Exchange (Konnan, Machete and “The Notorious 187” Homicide)

 

***I am guessing Lance Hoyt vs. Matt Bentley (w/Traci Brooks) and The Naturals vs. Team Canada are matches from the activities in the show.

 

 

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