1993-12-11-SMW-TV

[GSR]

Smoky Mountain Wrestling

TV

Aired December 11, 1993

Ash Central High School, Jefferson, NC

1. Dutch Mantel is smoking on screen again and they inform us that Jim Cornette has finally got the Moondogs licensed.  In addition, Tim Horner is injured (presumably at the hands of Prince Kharis on the Thanksgiving Thunder), and won’t be able to defend his Beat the Champ TV title today.  A new champion will be crowned and Dutch draws the names of the two participants from his hat and they are Jimmy Del Ray and Tracey Smothers.
2. Rock & Roll Express vs Larry Santo & Paul Lee
3. INT:  Jim Cornette - he said last week he would put up anything he had in order for The Bullet to put his mask on the line against Dick Murdoch, well it turns out that old fossil is cheaper than he thought.  All he had to put up was $5,000 and he got that match against The Bullet for his man.  If the mask falls and it’s revealed that The Bullet is really Bob Armstrong, like everyone knows it is, then Bob Armstrong will be banned from Smoky Mountain Wrestling for life.  He’s got some comments from Dick Murdoch that he wants to play which he has sent in all the way from Colorado.  Murdoch is sat outside drinking a Coors Light in the middle of a snow storm.  He’s got two Texas ladies for company and has his shirt off (although it is still too hot for him!).  Mama Cornette is paying him a lot of money to come out there, take that mask off and get Bob Armstrong suspended for life.  He’s not going to do that, he’s going to torture him, brake bones and hurt him.  He tells Armstrong to remember when they wrestled at the Orlando Sports Center all those years ago and he ruined his career; well he’s going to do it again in Tennessee.  Mama Cornette is sending a limousine to pick them up, is flying them first class, champagne on ice and when they get there the beer will be flowing.  It’s going to be pandemonium and mayhem because like that big, fat partner he used to have would say “it’s going to get funky like a monkey in Knoxville, TN.”  Back in the studio and Bob Caudle says that while it may be ‘$5,000 vs the mask’ in most of the cities on the tour, that’s not the case Christmas night in Knoxville.  Cornette is a bit taken aback by this and Caudle says they have a taped interview from The Bullet which will explain everything.  The Bullet says it is either put up or shut up for him this Christmas.  Jim Cornette has bought in Dick Murdoch who’s a big, bad man from Texas, but on Christmas night in Knoxville it’s not just the money they’re talking about.  On Christmas night, besides the money, if he beats Dick Murdoch not only does Jim Cornette have to give him $5,000, but he also has to shave his head in the middle of the ring.  They return to the studio and Cornette calls Dutch over to check the contract.  He’s panicking and is not happy one bit, before asking Dutch if he’s got a lawyer in town?  They can’t do this to him!  How will everyone like it if he’s bald?  Which to no surprise elicits a sizeable cheer from the audience.  So The Bullet being unmasked and banned from Smoky Mountain Wrestling against Jim Cornette getting his head shaved?  I have a feeling that this stipulation won’t be adhered to or they will worm their way out of it somehow.
4. Brian Lee (w/ Tammy Fytch) vs Chris Canyon
5. INT:  Jim Cornette & Heavenly Bodies - Cornette is going to appeal and investigate this hair thing that The Bullet has had put in the contract by his old buddies on the Board of Directors, as the contract he got in the mail didn’t have any stipulation like that at all.  At Christmas Chaos it will be the homecoming match between Mike & Doug Furnas against the Heavenly Bodies.  Mike is so upset about what they did to him that he called his brother up in Tokyo, Japan (at which point the Bodies start doing faux Japanese voices), but they’ve got a rude surprise awaiting them.  Everywhere he goes in East Tennessee he sees the colour orange, which has always been a putrid colour in his eyes.  He doesn’t think the colour orange accurately reflects the University of Tennessee, the University of Tennessee volunteer football players or Mike and Doug Furnas.  They have bought a University of Tennessee volunteer football shirt with them and Cornette starts to spray a yellow stripe down the back of it.  They then start spitting on the shirt which brings out Mike Furnas swinging a football helmet and the three of them take off.  Mike says he’s coming to Christmas Chaos and is bringing his brother Doug with him and he’s got some comments himself.  We got to a taped promo from Doug who says that when his brother called him up looking for some advice about getting into wrestling he thought it was a good idea and that maybe one day they could team up together.  He didn’t expect him to get jumped by Jim Cornette and his bums so soon though.  He knows what it’s like to have a partner as he has a great one in Japan and you’ll do almost anything for your partner, when you have a brother that ‘almost’ disappears.  They’ve got the Heavenly Bodies coming up at Christmas Chaos and he guarantees that there is not a tougher guy in Knoxville than the guy who is going to be in his corner.
6. The Moondogs (w/ Jim Cornette) vs Michael Collins & Rock Regal - the Dogs get DQ’d early but that doesn’t stop them.  Plenty of customary unprotected chair and trash can shots to the head with Cornette also getting involved.
7. Gang Fight: Heavenly Bodies (w/ Jim Cornette) vs Bruise Brothers (jip, from Knoxville, TN) - the Bruise Brothers get the win but are jumped by the Moondogs after the match and the five of them beat down on the twins.
8. INT: Bruise Brothers - they cause a bit of a commotion at the announcing desk and one of them brakes a piece of wood over the other’s head.  They can take whatever the Moondogs want to dish out and tell them to bring it on.
9. Down & Dirty w/ Daryl Van Horn - the segment opens with some pre-taped comments from Tim Horner who is wearing a neck brace.  He doesn’t know what kind of sick stunt Daryl Van Horn is trying to pull with this Egyptian man, mummy, whatever.  A few years ago he was seriously injured in Atlanta when he got dropped on his head and the doctors told him if he ever received a strong blow to the neck again he’d be permanently paralyzed.  He’s not paralyzed but does have some numbness in his hand and down his arm caused by that blow from Prince Kharis.  He’s going to be out a few months but thanks the Dirty White Boy for coming to his aid as even though they haven’t always seen eye to eye, it took a brave man to do so.  Back on Down & Dirty (the most popular segment on Smoky Mountain TV!) and Van Horn says that Horner fell at the hands of Prince Kharis and now look at him, he’s going to be serving popcorn at the vending stands for the rest of his life.  They would have finished him off permanently if it wasn’t for that piece of Tennessee trash, the Dirty White Boy.  The White Boy has angered the Gods, the curse of the pharaohs will reign down on him and that walking yeast infection the Dirty White Girl, but only when they decide.  Bobby Blaze wants to try and get some vengeance for Tim Horner and Prince Kharis will be sending out a message when he gets in the ring with him at Christmas Chaos.  Next week Van Horn plans to reveal exactly how he found Prince Kharis.
10. INT: Brian Lee & Tammy Fytch - Tammy says that this Triple Threat match at Christmas Chaos is so unfair.  Brian is just getting used to being champion and wearing the belt, but now he has to get in the ring with not one, but two idiots.  Tracey Smothers couldn’t get the job done before so who says he deserves another title shot?  Whilst in her mind the Dirty White Boy never deserved a title shot in the first place and should be wrestling in opening matches.  The worst part about it is that she has to look across the ring at the biggest sewer rat she’s ever seen and she just hopes she doesn’t give her rabies.  She asks Lee if they can go on vacation that week instead and he says they just might do that.  This is the test of all tests for him, but when he steps in the ring with Tracey Smothers and the Dirty White Boy he’s going to do something that has never been done before.  Not only is he going to beat two men in one night, but he’s going to do it in the same match.
11. Jimmy Del Ray (w/ Jim Cornette) vs Tracey Smothers - Brian Lee and Tammy Fytch come to ringside to watch the match but are soon followed out there by Tony Anthony and the Dirty White Girl.  Tracey climbs to the top turnbuckle ready to hit the jawjacker, when Lee gets on the apron about to interfere.  The White Boy pulls him down and gets between him and the ring to make sure that there isn’t any.  Smothers hits the jawjacker and becomes the new ‘Beat the Champ’ TV titleholder.  Short match, action was good although too short to amount to anything.
12. INT: Tony Anthony & Dirty White Girl - Bob Caudle questions whether the Dirty White Boy came out to even things up?  He says that he didn’t.  He can’t stand Brian Lee and Tammy Fytch, they’re not going to get anything over anybody ever again and he’s setting a goal to make their lives a living hell.  At Christmas Chaos it’s a Triple Threat match, three men in the ring at the same time all after the SMW Heavyweight title.  Tracey Smothers joins them and says that’s the second time the Dirty White Boy has helped him and he’s told him before that he doesn’t want his help, doesn’t need his help and doesn’t want to owe him for anything.  Come Christmas Chaos they’ll both be fighting for the same thing and he intends to do whatever he has to in order to become the SMW Heavyweight champion for the third time.

Bold matches are PWO recommended