[2001-04-01-WWF-Wrestlemania X-SEVEN] Gimmick Battle Royal

[GSR]

‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund and Bobby ‘the Brain’ Heenan make their returns to the WWF as special guest commentators for the Gimmick Battle Royal, Heenan having a blast reeling off a string of one liners at the various participants.

As the Iron Sheik slowly makes his way down the lengthy runway:
“By the time the Iron Sheik gets in the ring it’ll be Wrestlemania 38”

In response to Doink getting a surprisingly loud reaction:
(Gene) “You gotta love this guy”
“Why?”

Harvey Whippleman
“He is a fashion plate wouldn’t you say?”
(Gene) “Harvey Whippleman is indeed a trend setter when it comes to clothing.  I’d like to know who his haberdasher is.”
“Kamala”

Repo Man
“Last week he repo’d his own car”
(Gene) “About five years ago he got my mother-in-law”
“About four years ago everybody got your mother-in-law”

Nikolai Volkoff
“You know he was the first Russian cosmonaut?”
(Gene) “I was totally unaware of that.  Are you sure?”
“Well he didn’t really go up, he was scared of flying”

The Gobbly Gooker
“Didn’t you used to date her?
(Gene) “This brings back some very fond memories for me”
“You did date her!”

As a vignette for Sgt. Slaughter plays showing him firing a machine gun:
(Gene) “Here you see him in action”
“That was then, now he shoots blanks”

The entrances are a grand trip down memory lane, Doink, Michael Hayes, the Gobbly Gooker and Hillbilly Jim getting the loudest reactions.  Good stuff from big Nikolai too, playing the role and heeling on some fans telling them to “go home” as he carries the Russian flag.  Of course the match is nothing with a steady stream of eliminations for the three minutes it lasts, the Iron Sheik winning reportedly because knees were so shot that he couldn’t take a bump over the ropes to the floor!  The Sarge gets back in the ring to cut short any celebrations, putting the ‘Cobra Clutch’ on Sheiky as the USA stands tall!

 

[cactus]

After an exciting match like TLC II, it made sense for them to throw something to let the fans cool off, and this might be the most entertaining let-me-down matches ever. We have Bobby Heenan and Mean Gene on commentary. With participants ranging from all-time greats to comedy jobbers from a decade prior, the entrances alone are a trip down memory lane and you never know who is going to come out next. The action in-ring is bad, even by battle royal standards, but who cares about that? Jim Cornette eliminates Bushwacker Luke, and Iron Sheik wins because his body is too battered to take a bump to the outside. Three stars for this, not for the wrestling, because I wasn't able to wipe the grin off my face when watching this.
★★★