1994-02-05-SMW-TV

[GSR]

Smoky Mountain Wrestling

TV

Aired February 5, 1994

1. The Moondogs (w/ Jim Cornette) vs Jason West & Jeff Victory - the Dogs are DQ’d, you know the score by now.
2. INT: Bruise Brothers
3. We return from the Bruise Brothers interview and the Moondogs are still beating on the jobbers
4. INT: Terry & Dory Funk Jr. - they’re going to Knoxville, but what does it smell like?  It smells like butt crack, USA.  What does that smell like?  That smells like cheap wine, unholy women, illegal politicians and fear; fear that seeps out of every pore of Bob Armstrong.  Terry warns him not to have his family try to come and help him, as Dory will not only be protecting Jim Cornette, but he will be keeping an eye out for all those illegitimate fools, idiots, perverts and pukes that he claims are sired from him.  He fears no evil, fears no-one and doesn’t fear any of those fools who’ll be at ringside because unlike that ice skaters husband who failed, he’ll have his branding iron with him and will take out their legs.  Dory wakes from his slumber to repeat himself from last week’s interview and go over the rules of the Texas Death match again.
5. INT: The Bullet - he says every day it gets a little closer and every day he wonders did he make a mistake, but he doesn’t wonder for long as it all had to come to a head.  The Bullet got through Dick Murdoch, Kevin Sullivan and Killer Kyle, but now Jim Cornette has bought in the man that beat Bob Armstrong, Terry Funk.  He may never have lost a Texas Death match but there’s a first time for everything and anything can happen if you believe.  He tells Cornette to bring Terry Funk and they’ll show him what mountain folk are all about and when he wins that match, Bob Armstrong will be back as Commissioner and he and his friend on the Board of Directors can high tail it out of Smoky Mountain.
6. INT: Tammy Fytch, Jim Cornette
7. Bobby Blaze vs Brian Keyes - Daryl Van Horn joins them on commentary for this.  He’s sick and tired of Smoky Mountain Wrestling them bottom feeders, they’re going to have to start hurting people one by one.  They want big names, big money and don’t care who it is.
8. INT:  Tracey Smothers - he says of all the guys who he’s wrestled all over the world, Chris Candido makes him the hottest of any of them.  He cost him the TV title, he cost him the Heavyweight title by dropping him on his head, and called him Vito Maranara claiming that he’s not from Tennessee.  He’s the cockiest, most conniving, cheating guy he’s ever known.  As Smothers continues to go off on Candido, Chris runs out and pours a bucket of ice water over him, saying if he’s so hot that will cool him down.
9. Down & Dirty w/ Tony Anthony & Dirty White Girl - Dutch opens by recapping the Dirty White Boy and Killer Kyle match from last week and all the post-match action.  Back on Down & Dirty and the White Boy informs everyone that they have some tape from the master of the Tennessee Chain match, the legendary Mr Ron Wright, and he would like everyone to see it.  Ron’s had his surgery and hip implant and is back walking and as mean as ever.  The last time people saw him on TV he had been drugged pretty heavy and made a stupid mistake getting into the ring trying to help the Dirty White Boy and he had his brains knocked out.  On 2/13, it’s going to be the bloodiest Sunday in the history of wrestling as they’re going to have a Chain match with the SMW Heavyweight title at stake between Brian Lee and the Dirty White Boy.  The people have seen him wrestle in 100’s of them over the years against the likes of Whitey Caldwell, Sputnik Monroe and Tommy Gilbert and have never seen him lose one.  He’s had the White Boy in training that you won’t believe for the last two months and when he gets through with them he’ll see that both Brian Lee and Tammy Fytch are carried out of there.  The White Boy is looking forward to Sunday Bloody Sunday.  Brian Lee has done a lot of things to him; he’s screwed him out of $20,000, he put Ron Wright in the hospital, he’s bust his head open on a number of occasions and he’s put his hands on the Dirty White Girl.  All that is coming to a screeching halt 2/13 at the Knoxville Coliseum in the chain match, and there is no way he’s going to lose with Ron Wright in his corner.  He will walk out of that match the SMW Heavyweight champion, and that’s a promise!
10. Chris Candido vs Robbie Eagle - Candido goes for the Suicideplex when Tracey Smothers runs out and pulls his leg from under him and he falls to the canvas.  Eagle pretty much just collapses on him, but Candido is out of it and Eagle becomes the new ‘Beat the Champ’ TV title holder.  After the match Candido beckons Smothers into the ring and he is only too keen to accept.  Tracey has the upperhand at first, but it ends up with Candido hitting a piledriver on him.  He starts to spit on him which brings out Tony Anthony for the save and Candido gets out of there.
11. Tammy Fytch music video - The Spin Doctors ‘Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong’
12. INT: Brian Lee & Tammy Fytch - she can’t believe this god forsaken company would show a video like that.  They’re trying to make her look bad, they even call her the ‘b’ word!  The whole world is banding against Brian and herself because now he’s got have have this horrid, barbaric Chain match against the Dirty White Boy.  Lee personally doesn’t want to be in the Chain match, but Ron Wright and the Dirty White Boy thought this up because they’re a bunch of country bumpkins who sit round a table trying to think of ways to take Brian Lee and Tammy Fytch out.  He then asks Tammy how’s he even in this match?  She’s worried about getting blood on her dress, while he’s worried about ending up in the morgue.  Fytch says if he doesn’t think he’s man enough… He wonders where this macho issue has come from as she’s the one complaining all the time.  They go backstage to talk some more, but for the second week in a row there’s dissension in the ranks.
13. INT: Rock & Roll Express, Tony Anthony & Dirty White Girl
14. INT: Mike & Doug Furnas - they say the Heavenly Bodies better be ready come 2/13 because they took something away from him and his brother that they’ll never get back, their first match together as a team.  Doug says the Furnas Brothers aren’t going to allow themselves to be humiliated again.  They’re not going to allow the Heavenly Bodies to beat them and for as long as they have breath in their lungs they’re not wearing those University of Alabama jerseys.
15. INT: Jim Cornette & Heavenly Bodies - Cornette has his injunction in place against the Rock & Roll Express and if either one of them lay a finger on him during an interview, while they’re conducting a Down & Dirty w/ Dutch or anything other than a match involving the Bodies and the Rock & Rolls, they’ll be suspended and will never get their chance of revenge.  Cornette understands they’ve got a match today, checks the format sheet and sees that it’s against Dave Meller and Wade Keller.  Nobody’s ever heard of them, but they’re going to be the next guys to fall at the hands of the Heavenly Bodies.
16. Heavenly Bodies (w/ Jim Cornette) vs Rock & Roll Express - it’s not Dave Meltzer & Wade Keller at all, it’s the Rock & Roll Express.  Good fast paced TV match that I was going to call very good until the unsatisfactory finish.  The match has the added storyline of Ricky Morton trying to get his hands on Cornette who is back to his usual cowardly, weasel like ways, as opposed to the man who was standing tall and getting involved with the Steiners and the Bruise Brothers.  All four men are fighting in the ring and Cornette sneaks in about to whack Robert in the back with his tennis racket.  Morton sees him coming, grabs the racket and then hits Prichard and Del Ray with it right in front of the referee’s eyes, giving the Bodies the DQ win.  It did feel a tad rushed putting this match on TV just a week after the injunction angle and one of the strengths in the Smoky Mountain booking has been to build things slowly and not rush them.  With Sunday Bloody Sunday being just over a week away there didn't appear to be any need for this match, whilst similar you could say that it wasn't hate filled enough for to guys who were out for revenge after what Cornette did to Morton's father.

Bold matches are PWO recommended