[2024-01-02-NOAH-The New Year] Kota Ibushi vs Naomichi Marufuji

[Ma Stump Puller]

The worst NOAH main event match since probably Misawa/Marufuji II. Heck that's a masterpiece compared to this.

Christ Ibushi looked horrible here. I know he's basically crippled at this point given all of the injuries he just categorically refuses to have surgery on (including coming into this with a broken ankle he somehow obtained????) but he especially looked sloppy and unfocused here. The first half was mostly classic NJPW-isms with timewasting grappling at half-speed. Do you watch Ibushi matches to see him do week 1 headlock takeovers? Of course not; let's just ignore that section as much as they did. There was also a lot of awkward stalling that was played off by commentary as "mind games" but it felt supercilious: it never amounted to any actual story beat later on in the match and just made the two seem like they were trying to just cover for time while they thought something out. Maru focuses on Ibushi's arm with the most low-energy offence I've seen out of him while the crowd watches in complete silence. Ibushi fights back with some really lame forearms and outright botches as he seemingly has zero of the amazing atheticism he once had. Seeing him be incapable of even going over the top rope and instead flopping down when Maru snapped his arm was depressing. Maru controls more with arm holds and chops while Ibushi continues to land limp forearms that his opponent has to oversell for because Ibushi has to somehow look good here. They sit in a head triangle for another 2 minutes as time moves oh so slowly. Ibushi's control segment is almost all slow slaps to the back or the occasional kick, noticeably nothing involving his infamously bad shoulders. Maru takes over to do more chops in riveting fashion.  

They have a sequence where they move in slow motion and Ibushi almost murders Maru after he barely gets a powerslam done properly. Ibushi then bounces to do probably the worst moonsault he's ever done as he basically flops off the second rope with no speed. They hold onto each other's back until Maru catches Ibushi with a sloppy dropkick. The two fight on the apron in abject silence until Maru takes a back bump off it: again, the crowd are silent for everything here. Ibushi tries for his hanging apron German suplex (it's clear that he just can't do shit like that anymore so there's no real tension behind it) so instead we get him hugging Maru for a long while until we get a slow transition into Maru landing a Emerald Flowsion on the apron; cool spot? Absolutely! It's a shame I had to watch 20 minutes of sheer flavourless garbage to get there though. Maru misses his springboard dropkick and Ibushi follows up with a terribly slow outside moonsault that I'm pretty sure he breaks his other ankle on given how he landed and how he limps from now to the end. The two dance around with choreographed kicks and Matrix dodges done at the speed of a turtle before another dub spot. More strike exchanges. Maru looks bored. Ibushi no sells more. Murder Ibushi shows up here and it's just as sad as he throws the fakest punches I've also ever seen lol. Fans boo at this being shit. Cool ref spot as Maru bounces off him to land a knee strike, doesn't save the setup being so obvious though. Ibushi counters the Shiranui with this bizarre super high-angle backdrop? It felt like he just didn't have the strength to actually do the move so he just had to balance himself and fall over. Maru no-sells that to do a spot and Ibushi almost dies taking the Shiranui for a near fall.

More sloppy botches as they fall over trying to set up a superplex. The two land the lightest strikes while on the top until Ibushi lands a horrendous Kamigoye to knock Maru over. Big powerbomb afterwards for another near fall. Maru counters a second Kami for the two to spend a eternity going into a sunset flip; seriously, they had to have spent 10 seconds too long sitting and waiting for the counter to pop off. He follows up with random key locks that don't do anything but grind this out more. The finish, I think, was one of the most pathetic I'd seen; Ibushi flopping on Maru with two weak knees to the head for the pin felt like the icing on a extremely shoddy cake. Easily Ibushi's worst match since returning (and I think ever, quite frankly). Whatever allure he had in Japan prior is all but gone with how this turned out; it was a sad scene seeing him try to do everything that typically comes easy and failing at it all before he just trucks on despite the match tanking after a couple of these moments. Even with Marufuji covering his ass as much as humanly possible with big bumps and very generous structuring (making Ibushi look much stronger with a bunch of kickouts, no-selling and spots) he just couldn't make this wreck of a match any good. In GIF form if you condensed this down to the one or two moments where it looked at least enjoyable this would be good, but in reality everything around those was so weak that I simply cannot recommend watching this, even for the "trainwreck watching" crowd. This felt just sad. Like watching post-Spinks Ali sad, you know? Just a complete nightmare from start to finish. 

 

 

[Tenese Sarwieh]

Those 30 minutes were truly disheartening to witness; once hailed as one of the world's premier wrestlers, Kota Ibushi now appears as a mere shadow of his former self, grappling with the challenge of piecing everything together. While his mental acuity remains sharp, his body has relinquished its former prowess. Every movement seemed sluggish, with Ibushi visibly grappling with the anticipation of the next move, often stumbling in execution and, regrettably, injuring his ankle in the process. Marufuji, not immune to the passage of time himself, valiantly attempted to salvage the match. Despite being no spring chicken, he outshone as a far superior performer at this stage in his career.