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Not only that, Pete, but when do you even see a major advertiser like Gillette even having anything to do with wrestling other than guys like Hogan? Say what you will about Hogan the actor, but he has enough ability to play against type and make it work, if only for thirty seconds at a time. This was much better than Warrior's Slim Jim commercial, or any of Savage's for that matter.

When you have a feud where four of the six wrestlers (counting JYD) consider themselves some type of dog, what do you expect them to reference? Sheep? I kind of like the laid-back Lawler we get outside of the studio, as he tends to scream a little too much for my comfort in front of the public. I'm surprised Lawler didn't mention his own feud with JYD from 1990, at least in passing. Then again, he was so disgustingly racist then that it's probably better that way. I thought we had more Moondogs than Spotty and Spike. Maybe they're coming out of the woodwork later. Just a few years earlier, a six-man featuring JYD and the Moondogs would have been a throwaway "main event" on Superstars or Challenge. Now, it's expected to sell out the MSC. How times change, even in a sport as backwards as wrestling can be. Line of the segment: Lawler asking if the Moondogs go to a doctor or a vet to get medical treatment.

The image of the blood on Spotty's head during the MSC clip alone makes this segment worthy of inclusion. Lee's on a personal revenge kick after being burned by Lawler's fireball and having his arm broken by Jeff, so two poor jobbers pay a stiffer price than usual. For what seems like the fourth week in a row, Eddie Marlin's out to stop the carnage, and Lee gives him the usual argument as we fade to black. I'd comment on Lee's promos, but they were barely understandable, either of them. They were what non-fans believe every promo on a wrestling show sounds like, and that needs to change if he's going to remain an effective mouthpiece. Another hallmark of Memphis TV: They seem to believe that taking a commercial break will stop whatever illegal or immoral stuff is going on in the ring at a given time. Actually, the psychology isn't bad; a heel can't make his point to the audience if there is no audience, and most heels are egotistical enough to not want to do anything unless someone's watching. The problem is, they never tell the heels that they're going to break, so the heels don't know that they've lost their audience. Maybe that's what Eddie needs to do with the Dogs instead of just warning Lee: "Okay, you in the ring, we're gonna go to break now. Even if you beat those poor kids to within a half-inch of their lives, no one's ever gonna know it, so just save yourselves the workout and leave the ring now." (Of course, that doesn't take into account the studio audience, but if you were Lee and the Dogs, would you rather have an audience of three hundred or hundreds of thousands?) I don't blame the jobbers who refused to take chair shots, bone shots and worse for just $25 a week. I'm sure quite a few of them walked away mumbling in the direction of Eddie: "If you think we're such pussies, then you get your head split down the middle by a chair or a bone and see how much you think it's worth."

Wow, talk about a new side of someone we thought we knew. Not only did Koko get himself over as a serious wrestler, but he did the same for Kamala, which is difficult at best. If Koko's ever had this serious of an angle before in his life, I'm not sure when. The closest I can come would be when he and Norvell Austin were the PYTs back around '83 and '84 in Memphis. Other than that, the highest he's gotten is the midcard, and especially in the WWF, the midcarders got very little to do of any substance, so there just wasn't a need for mic skills like the kind Koko showed here. Koko pinning Kamala clean was a bit of a surprise to me. I'm not sure about Mid-South, but I know that if that match ever took place for Vince (which I'm guessing it did at some point), it was either a screwy countout or DQ finish or Koko did the job clean (most likely on a stretcher). It's a pity that the Unified belt's taking second place to Lawler/Jeff-Moondogs, because I'd like to see this feud mean more than it does right now.

Who's the Big Black Dog? It almost has to be a jobber that's finally getting a push, but I don't recall too many black jobbers in Memphis around this time. I wonder if the butt crack was intentional or if the pair of jeans he was wearing that day just had a mind of their own? Jeff comparing Lee to Rommel was more clever than a wrestler usually gets, but we're right at the outside edge of the comparison meaning anything to the audience. Nice-looking suits for Jeff and the King. Too bad they were most likely sacrificial lambs, so to speak. Eddie Marlin needs backup if he's going to keep coming out and threatening the Dogs. I keep waiting for the day when Lee's going to sic them on him; you know it's coming before too long. Moondog trivia: I think Albano was the only manager who didn't use a whistle to control them, at least not often. I wonder who came up with the idea; the sound of that thing is so annoying that it makes the Dogs even more hated and feared, which of course is exactly the point. I'm guessing the partner Lawler was referring to was Fuller, but I notice that his name wasn't mentioned, so I suppose he's already gone. We never saw a close-up of Lee, but slings and casts are pretty easy to spot even from a distance, and it didn't look like he had either one here. Details, gentlemen, details.

It's bad enough that we got to see the Embry whipping again in all its "glory", but then to have Kim stripped and whipped in the studio? I don't care how good the matches and promos are, that makes the whole feud a fail in my book, especially when you consider that Papa's already lost half of his territory because of a similar angle. When is enough enough, for heaven's sake? Is he trying to kill Memphis too? How in the hell has he not been severely reprimanded by WMC for allowing stuff like this to go on in the studio? The MSC footage is bad enough, but there's nothing they can really do about it. At the very least, I would have warned Papa that the next time he does something like that on my property, my weatherman (Dave) is going to be pulled off of his program for a month. Let's see how he does without his play-by-play guy; Corey's decent at this time, but he's not Dave by a damn sight. It's really hard for me to comment on any other aspect of this. I'm about ready for Tony to head to Knoxville and hook up with Ron Wright. As for Embry, I'm not really sure I care at this point.

Supposedly Embry had a chair at the beginning of the segment just out of camera range, Pete. At any rate, now I know what Pete meant by desperation. I heard Dave mention a time slot change a while back, and I have to believe that that's at least part of the reason for the more extreme TV angles that we've been seeing lately. They want to grab viewers and make sure they stay tuned in. Well, that's fine as long as you don't get in trouble with the station that's airing your program, and Papa would have been headed for a nice little discussion in my office come Monday morning if I'd been running WMC. The only thing worse would have been if they hadn't blurred Embry's bare butt. Any one of the angles that we saw on this show would have been more than enough to cause a problem, although the Moondogs aren't really much worse than most heels. But their destruction, the ugly racist crap spewed by Coraluzzo during his promo, the announcers being threatened by both a babyface (Idol) and a heel during the same program, and now the nudity and male-female violence during this angle would at least led me to express major concern. WMC isn't some rinky-dink independent station running on about the same amount of power as your average flashlight; it's a network affiliate with (presumably) a clean reputation to uphold. No matter how popular wrestling is, it can't be allowed to besmirch that reputation. That's what I would tell Papa; whether he would have bothered to listen is another matter (I strongly suspect that he wouldn't). Embry was wonderful as usual, but after all the chaos with the Moondogs which involved Corey and Dave (specifically their desk), I would have told him not to go after them that day, even verbally. Dave Brown may be a professional to the core, but even he has his limits. (This is especially true after what Idol did at the end of the show, which I don't believe was planned. If it was, Dave sure didn't look like he was in on it.) Finally, the whipping of the bare asses of any one of these four individuals isn't something I ever need to see. Period, end of encyclopedia.

A shining example of what the Dogs are capable of, as the entire studio is basically trashed. There's definitely the feeling than anyone in the area, including Dave and Corey, could be brutalized at any time. One thing that always amuses me about Memphis announcing is that the announcers, whoever they are, continue to believe that if the heels are reasoned with for long enough, they'll stop their actions and leave the studio peaceably. It tickles me that while Spotty, Spike, and Lee are trashing these two poor slobs and threatening to do the same to anyone else who displeases them up to and including Eddie Marlin and Jerry Jarrett, Dave and Corey are saying things like "Okay, Richard, you won the match, get 'em outta here!" Like the Moondogs give one inkling of a damn about winning matches. Their matches are basically excuses to vandalize the studio and/or arena which they're appearing in, nothing more or less. Not that I expect anything to change; Memphis's slavish devotion to its format (at least on the surface) is what makes the inevitable chaos so delicious. But there are times it's worthy of a good-natured belly laugh, and this is one of them. How many spare desks did WMC have for its wrestling studio? To hear Dave tell it, thanks to the Dogs they've used up their supply until at least the year 2000!

Well, I wanted emotional involvement, and boy did I ever get it. Idol was tremendous laying out the story of how his plane was tampered with, and it's a damn shame that that's all the farther this part of the angle went, because it would have added the kind of personal issue that makes all wrestling feuds great. I don't think Dave was expecting to be physically involved here, which may account for his being startled and/or pissed. He's been basically no-touch since his days co-hosting with Lance. and to have Idol push him around like that, planned or not, probably wasn't something he particularly liked. The brawl itself was much more in line with what I expect from Memphis TV brawls, and things only got weird after Idol's suitcase came into play. I liked the visual of Spike's face being covered in shaving cream, and I thought for a moment that someone was going to take advantage of the situation and actually go to work on his beard with a razor. I'll have to see the other two segments from this show that made the discs to see whether I agree with Pete or not about it smelling of desperation, but when you consider the state the USWA was in relative to the Big Two at the time, it's hard to blame them if they felt desperate. As big as the Lawler-Jeff/Dogs feud was, it couldn't touch Sting/DA for scope or Hogan/Flair for historical significance, and both of these other feuds could be seen in the Memphis area. They were struggling to hold on to third place and they knew it; if SMW had really taken off with a nationally known figure like Corny as its spokesman, the USWA would have been left behind like yesterday's roadkill. As it was, that didn't happen, but the fireball that Fuller got hit with had to be his exit out of Memphis, and he next showed up in SMW, so who really knew at the time what else they were capable of?

First of all, credit to whoever the fake Richard Lee was. He definitely wasn't big enough to be a full-time worker, so the beating he took from Jeff was extra impressive. I liked the real Lee coming out to chloroform Jeff, although Jeff being carried out was a bit much, since chloro doesn't usually equal a stretcher job or carryout. I'm growing used to all the weapons in these matches, though I still wish we'd see some stip bouts that would limit their use a bit (dog collar, cage, etc.). Maybe they'll come down the road once it's time to give the Dogs their comeuppance. All that said, there's one thing about this match that I just could not abide: I don't care if Lawler's the king of Memphis or Pluto or Outer Slobovia, he has no business no-selling chair shots to the head from two guys who have at least seventy-five pounds on him. I know nobody's going to tell him a damn thing about it, and we'll more than likely see it again, but it really chafes me. I could actually see the Dogs no-selling Lawler or Jeff's chair shots before I could see the opposite. It just reinforces the fact that in Memphis, just like in Attitude Era WWF, no one really gets over the boss, period. This whole feud has really bugged me, and I expected to really get into it. I can see the four of them (five if you count Lee) busting their humps in order to give Memphis something it's never really seen before in terms of violence, but there's something about it that really brings the nitpicker out in me. Maybe it's that it feels like the thing started in the middle, but that's old news by now. I know stuff like I mentioned above doesn't help, but I've seen more than enough Memphis to know that Lawler's ultimately untouchable and that's how both he and the fans like it. I guess I was expecting something with the emotional impact of Lawler/Dundee, Lawler/Bock, or even Lawler/Kerry, and this feud's not set up for that. This is just a good old-fashioned mutual bloodletting, and in that context it's pretty good. Maybe I'll feel more comfortable with it as time goes on.

This one dragged until the teams started showing more continuity toward the end. About the only spot I liked in the first ten minutes was Caras and Wagner whacking each other while they were standing on their heads. The mask ripping also spiced things up. Waltman looked a little greener here than we've seen him before, but that led to my favorite spot of the match, where he cleans house on Texano (I think), then takes a shot at Caras, only for Caras and Silver King (I think) to doubleteam him quite effecrively. I'm not sure why we haven't seen that spot in the U.S. when a tag match has a talented but inexperienced worker, because it puts across both Waltman's talent and inexperience quite well here. In case I see Silver King and Texano again, is there any way to definitively tell them apart? I didn't think this was the best match so far like Loss did, but it was a vey good match that I'm glad I saw.

The first fall was much more mat- and submission-based than most lucha matches, with particular focus on Benoit's legs. This may seem nitpicky, but I don't think he sold the damage Villano did very well at all. I understand that the vast majority of his offense is based on aerial maneuvers, but he could have made going for the dives he did look like more of a struggle. The second fall was too short to say much about, but I liked Benoit's work on Villano's back to set up the winning submission. I have no idea what the hold was called (reverse STF, maybe?), but it looked like it could legitimately tear a man's head off. One question: We all know that Vince didn't recognize any sort of light heavyweight title here in the States, at least on TV. Did the UWA simply pay for the use of the WWF name, or did the belt really belong to Vince, even though it was defended on a foreign promotion's card? Did anyone at Titan Towers have any say on who held it? Also, who was Mike Lozansky? He couldn't have had much of a career in the States, because I've never heard of him.

This feud's finally almost equal, as Kawada puts Ogawa away to win the match while Misawa holds Jumbo off, which would have been unthinkable even three months earlier. The destruction of Kobashi's knee was choice, of course, but let's not forget the run Misawa's side had at Ogawa's lower back just before that. Whatever move that Kawada was doing on the floor looked like it should have put Ogawa in the hospital. Hierarchy aside, no one really looks out of place here, like Kikuchi or even Kobashi did a few months back. The fans know what to expect from each side, and the sides know what to expect from each other, but the execution's so tremendous that no one thinks it's boring or overplayed. I haven't seen nearly as many DA tags as I have tags in this series, but there's not nearly as much action in the American matches, plus you seldom see the "captains" of the respective "sides" (Sting and Rude). Even when they are in the match, it's not for very long. In this series, Misawa and (particularly) Jumbo more than pull their weight along with their partners. Then again, WCW's matches are designed to be quick sprints for television, not arena matches that are then clipped as needed to fit into a TV program, so that could account for part of the difference. I can't compare these matches to lucha trios matches very well, because I still have trouble with the trios style from time to time. But I enjoy the fact that the All-Japan and WCW matches aren't bound to a specific formula as tightly as the trios matches are; the matches happen organically and are thus much easier to get emotionally involved with, even if the finishes or the people who take the pins become predictable at times. Every house style has its own clichés; the trick is to not let them become too noticeable.

Sorry, but the finish of this made all of the work before it meaningless. For what we ended up with, they could have cut ten minutes off and just kept things one step above a fistfight instead of wasting time on the limbwork (which Dustin sold particularly well), I would have even preferred the standard DA-Alabama Jam finish to schmozzing out the whole mess. The problem is, they don't want the DA to lose at all, yet they don't want the faces to look like schmucks because they're constantly falling victim to outside interference. I understand that, honest. But you don't need good matches for that kind of stuff. Just let the combatants get in and brawl for a while, then get to the run-ins and call it a day. With the match thus disposed of, let me say that JR was very good here. It was odd to hear him talking baseball instead of football, but I thought the Steve Avery analogies, particularly the one about him using his best pitch when he needs an out the most, were particularly apt to explain Dustin's strategy, especially while he was destroying Arn's leg. He showed just the right amount of outrage when Heyman interfered, and his explanation of why the DA wanted to hurt Dustin so badly (make him unable to defend the tag belts, then try to win them in a tournament) is the type of thing very few announcers bothered to do, even in the old days. I didn't like him saying that the DA were the most hated group in wrestling history, which was an obvious shot at the Horsemen and an indirect one at Flair and Vince, but that was really my only quibble. Don't get me wrong, I'll take as many DA multi-man brawls as I can get. But don't ruin a potentially great TV match like this just to start one.

This was actually a better match than I thought it would be going in. No, the poor video and nonexistent audio aren't ideal conditions to watch a match in, but I could still see enough to know what the guys were doing, and I didn't mind the lack of audio because the Spanish spoken in the commentary would have been far above my fluency level. The only time there was a problem for me was when the referee (who, incidentally, looked quite a bit like El Dandy, though it most likely wasn't him) wasn't in video range when he was making pinfall counts. I liked the story they appeared to be telling: Casas was afraid of Santo's high-flying, while Santo didn't want to be victimized by Casas' cheating, so they each decided to take it to the mat and see what happened. If there's a reason not to rate this match, it's because it's clipped for TV, but what I saw was excellent. It's nice to know that two guys whose style is usually as far away from matwork as you can get are still able to deliver an enjoyable mat wrestling match when the situation calls for it. I especially liked Santo's subtle punches and kicks to the part of Casas' body that he was working on at a given time. These guys definitely weren't just sitting around killing time. My guess for the finish is that the UWA had a rule similar to New Japan: knocking an opponent over the guardrail was an automatic disqualification. Since both Santo and Casas went over as a result of the tope, the ref simply decided to call it a draw. If a copy of this with audio and better video surfaces, I'd love to see it, but I'm glad we got what we got.

As is the case with all PWFG matches, I had to work so hard scoring it that it took away from the enjoyment a lot. What I saw was Flynn dominating until he went to the well once too often with the enzugiri in an effort to put Sano away, which led to Sano locking on the half-crab for the submission. I'm glad to know that what I saw wasn't too far off from the rest of you. For heaven's sake, guys, put your scores on the screen like everyone else does!

I liked the press conference itself, but it makes Hogan look terrible after the fact. If he's so dedicated to being WWF champion again, why give Sid a second thought, even after what's about to happen at SNME? Just write it off as an inferior's jealousy and forget about it. You have the World title match you claim you want in your hand, for crying out loud. Actually, the Hogan/Sid match would have made more sense if Tunney had "chosen" Savage to start with. Sid could still claim that Hogan cost him the title at the Rumble, while (using the whole "public opinion" bit) Hogan could claim that Sid caused his Hulkamaniacs to doubt him because of what happened between them, which led to Tunney not choosing him for a match which he believes should have been his. That's so much better than "my revenge is more important than any title", which I'm sure will be Hogan's reason for giving up the title match and signing to fight Sid. Kudos to Vince and company for making this look more legitimate than any so-called "press conference" since the one where Hogan and Andre signed the contract to meet before Mania III. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if there were actually some reporters there, since I saw a "Fox 23" microphone during Savage's interview afterward. Yes, that type of thing is easy to copy or simulate, but the WWF aired their syndicated programming on Fox stations for the most part at this time, so it's possible that a station or two either sent reporters or (more likely) loaned Vince equipment to use. Flair's lost any and all ability to be calm and low-key. If this had been a 100% legit press conference, he'd have been either laughed at, branded a lunatic, or both. This isn't supposed to be a random Saturday night on TBS in 1986, Naitch. Show at least a little decorum (by mainstream media standards, not wrestling standards). Why do people bemoan the fact that Savage does such a good job kissing Hogan's ass? What's he supposed to do, attack him on sight every time they meet? If they're both fellow faces, Hogan's going to be the top dog, and who would buy a Savage heel turn now after all the wedding buildup and the feud with Jake? Randy at least acknowledged their problems in the past, which is more than most faces do in his situation; the only other guy who did that I know of is Piper. Gene tried a little too hard to make this seem chaotic. One warning from him to the "reporters" would have been sufficient, especially since even the marks could probably figure out that this wasn't real. (If it was, how come their local stations didn't cover it on the news?)

Flair wasn't anything special here, but Curt's starting to get the hang of being a mouthpiece, Even when Flair puts him over as a great technician, he kind of shrugs it off (though with just the right kind of arrogant leer on his face). He's got a bit to go, and I still wish Heenan did some TV promos from time to time, but he's becoming more watchable. Is it just me or did Flair scream so loudly at one point that Percy was legitimately startled? Please, Ric, don't give that man any more of an excuse to move or speak; he's enough of a clown on his own. What did Vince mean when he said that Curt supposedly belonged in a funeral parlor rather than the broadcast booth? Was it just his idea of a segue? Was he trying to make a joke? Or was he simply filling time and doing it terribly? For me at least, that was a real "What the......." moment.

By being himself, does Buddy mean that he can oversleep and miss TV tapings where he was scheduled to begin a program with the World champion? Sorry, couldn't resist. Seriously, this is another promo like Corny's, a deliberate attempt to cast SMW in the role of the outlaw promotion, the one filled with guys that the Big Two can't or won't touch. Buddy's past makes him slightly less credible in this role than Corny, but you can definitely buy him as someone who's coming in to take names and kick ass. I loved the Dusty impression too, although the harelip stuff just before it threw me for a bit of a loop.

One question: Did Ron really need the wheelchair for some reason at this time, or was it just part of the character? I know he ditched it when he turned face, and he even stepped into the ring, or at least got involved in brawls, a time or two. At any rate, this is a tremendous setup for the continuing "Ron Wright needs medical care" storyline that would be so compelling for the first two years of SMW. It amazed me how a crippled old man could be such a believable heel, even taking Ron's past into account. Kudos to Dutch as well for managing to get both himself and Ron over at the exact same time by offering to let Ron second him, but also reminding Ron (and the audience) that he does things his own way and doesn't need or want a manager. Absolutely brilliant.

This is a great little interview. Corny almost unintentionally babyfaces himself by going after Magic Johnson, Pee Wee Herman, and other fallen heroes, then promises that the people can believe in him. It's not until he calls the audience hillbillies at the very end that he sounds like the old JCP Cornette, but that's enough to bring the world back into balance. I don't doubt that Bob's real-life job with Jesse Helms made promos like this uncomfortable for him, but he also just seems like he's trying to get Corny "back on track" without offending anyone: "Aw, Jim, why do you have to say that stuff? This is a wrestling interview." What makes him different is he does it without interrupting or yelling or telling them to get off the set, as even Dave Brown would do in Memphis. It's a part of his persona you don't see much in JCP, and I'm looking forward to seeing it here.

There's no way I can watch the full Rumble and comment on everything after it's over, so I'm going to try to comment on it as it's happening, beginning with the pre-match promos: Michaels: He shows off what a natural heel he is in his promo on the injured Jannetty. He's nowhere near what he would be later, but you can definitely tell that he's going places. Nice cameo by Barby "accidentally" bumping into Mooney. Flair: This is the "territorial" Flair that most fans grew to love: calm, cool, but still cocky. He embraces the challenge of number three and claims he can still win the title. Lord Alfred calling him "Mr. Flair" was a classy touch. Savage: Wants to win the title and get his hands on Jake, not necessarily in that order. Sid: You can sort of tell he going heel; he's back to speaking quietly and grinding his teeth when he talks. That's good; he's much more effective that way. Let's hope this also means the end of the idiotic "Justice will be served!" tagline. Repo: Out of place. He takes the gimmick more seriously than the belt, and that's never good. Of course, everyone knew he wasn't getting the belt anyway, so what difference did it make? Davey Boy: He puts over his victory in the battle royal at Royal Albert Hall last year, which was a nice touch. But his tag line made no sense whatever. Was Vince running a contest to see who could shoehorn the words "royal rumble" (note the lower-case letters) into his promo most creatively? Jake: Nothing earthshattering, but he doesn't need to be in order to be great. My favorite line: "I would never disappoint myself; you (the people) I don't mind." Flair Part 2: Back to the screaming. Uses "To be the man, you have to beat the man" for one of the first times in the WWF. Says there's no backdoor for himself; since he's claimed to be the Real World Champion for four months, he has to back it up today. Curt was actually good with his line about Flair being the hand who rocks the cradle. Taker and Percy: Taker is, as always, chillingly effective. Percy is, as always, a utter and complete goon. For God's sake, man, at least quit sounding like you've been thrown down a flight of stairs crotch-first! Hogan: Much of the usual gaga, but I hate him going after Tunney. When else has a babyface ever said a bad thing about the head of the promotion he wrestles for? It's totally out of character.......or is it? Tunney: Said nothing of note, but his presence lent some gravity to the event. As Heenan says so brilliantly, "Come on, let's go!" Favorite line from Bobby so far: "He (Tunney)'s the best president since Noriega." We start with Davey Boy (#1) and Teddy (#2). I know Teddy's not what he used to be in terms of pecking order, but to see him eliminated before the first two-minute period is up was a shock to me. Curiously, his elimination came as Gino was telling the sad tale of Bushwhacker Luke, the man with the shortest in-ring time in Royal Rumble history. Here comes Flair (#3). Heenan almost dies of shock while Gino rubs it in, saying that no one in the first five entering the ring has ever won a Rumble. Davey Boy almost has Flair out at the buzzer, but Flair skins the cat. Even with only one other guy in the ring, Flair's taking bumps like mad and giving as good as he gets. Next is Jerry Sags (#4). He doubleteams Davey Boy briefly with Flair, but takes too long standing on the apron after foiling an attempted elimination and gets himself dropkicked out. They really wanted Flair to be the heel everyone focused on, it seems. Heenan constantly calls for Flair to rest, but we all know he won't. Gino continues to make Bobby's life miserable, pointing out that both he and Curt could lose their jobs if Flair doesn't win. Bobby uses the "fair to Flair" catchphrase for the first time tonight. Next at #5 is former Heenan Family member Haku. Bobby points out that even someone like Haku can't be trusted in a match like this. That's true, especially since Haku and Flair were never stablemates together. Soon enough, they're going at it, and not just briefly either. Heenan takes Flair's side, of course. This is a nice little three-way dance until Haku is eliminated by Davey Boy just before the buzzer for #6. At one point, Flair bails to the floor, which allows Gino to explain that the refs are there to make sure that those who are still in stay in. #6 is HBK. Flair immediately goes after him, and another three-way dance results. We see Shawn nail Flair with Sweet Chin Music for the first (but definitely not the last) time. This is another neat little segment that's surprisingly energetic. Meanwhile, Heenan's calling for water, booze, and everything else under the sun. I don't have the time or space to transcribe all of his lines, but he's a riot here from start to finish. Tito's #7. The amazing thing is that Flair has sought out every new entrant and engaged with them instead of playing cowardly heel like you'd think he would. and Heenan wishes he would. No eliminations in this period, but the face/heel dynamic is back in balance, as Tito fights Flair for the most part while Shawn scraps with Davey. Barby's #8. With five guys now in, the action's getting too much to watch. Flair and Barby spend a good portion of this period trying (and failing) to eliminate Davey. The highlight of this period is Gino taunting Bobby as Barby stalks in with, "Barbarian doesn't like Flair", to which an unfazed Brain replies, "He doesn't like anybody. When I managed him, he barely liked me." Barby's the first guy Flair doesn't go after right off the bat. Kerry's #9. Gino's a lot more effusive in his praise of Flair than I remembered, lauding Flair for challenging Kerry right off the bat. Actually, I think he was just thrilled to be able to fight with a familiar face for a while. He takes a face-first bump off of the discus punch, and all of a sudden it's May 6, 1984 all over again. A classic Heenan rant: "You know what you need to do to win the Rumble? Grab a crescent wrench........" Gino cuts him off before he can go on, but I'll bet he (Gino) was howling on the inside. Repo's #10. His sneaky-Pete routine doesn't fit here at all, but that's the character and no one said Darsow doesn't take direction well. When he finally gets in, he attacks Shawn, interestingly enough. He and Flair don't interact at all, mostly because there are now seven guys in the ring. Flair seems to be loving his interactions with Kerry especially. Just after the buzzer for #11, Heenan points out that he and Curt didn't want Flair going for more than thirty minutes, which helps explain his increasing apoplexy as the bout wears on. Valentine's #11. He and Ric haven't seen each other for a while, so they renew acquaintances by trying to chop each other to pieces. Oh, if only the Hammer had stuck around long enough to challenge Flair for the belt. Gino points out that if Valentine lasts as long as did last year (over forty-four minutes), he'll be the champion and Flair will be the loser. Cue more hilarious hysteria from Heenan. We're up to eight guys, so expect some eliminations soon. #12 is Volkoff, who goes once around with just about everyone before he's tossed, I think by Repo. For whatever reason, the fact that two former fake Russians (remember, Darsow was Krusher Khruschev) are going at it tickles me. I guess I'm easily amused. Flair and Valentine continue their private war, with the Hammer even using the figure-four. I wonder if Greg was trying to hint that he wanted a program with Flair once Flair won the title. Now we have Gino leading Heenan into the "fair to Flair" spiel and I wish it would go far away. Bossman's #13. Repo tosses Valentine; he's doing much better than I remembered. Bossman takes shots at absolutely everyone, including a tremendous straight right on Michaels that almost knocks him out. He eventually tosses Repo, who does the sneaky-Pete routine again for no good reason on his way out. Flair's pummeled by Tito and Davey, and Heenan begs to go to ringside. Just when it looks helpless for Flair, he tosses Davey, then excuses his old friend Kerry. Just before the buzzer for #14, Tito and Shawn eliminate each other, and we're down to a more sensible number in the ring. Herc's #14, and he goes right for guess who? Gino to Heenan: "Maybe he remembers how you treated him." Flair and Barby high-five, then Flair pounds Barby. Barby gets the advantage, then tries to eliminate Flair. How many press slams can a guy take in one match? We then get a double elimination: Herc pushes Barby out to save Flair, but is in turn dumped by Bossman. It's one-on-one now, and Bossman pounds away as Heenan demands oxygen. Bossman charges, but Flair ducks, and Bossman can't stop himself from going over. Heenan exults that Flair's won the belt, and technically, he's half right. Flair does the Flop, and I get the feeling it's not just a spot. Piper's #15, and Flair's reaction is equal parts heel begging off and a big smile for his old friend. Piper's in no mood for greetings. Flair takes what Heenan estimates as his twenty-fifth backdrop of the match, and a killer kneelift sends him to the floor. We get a brief brawl outside, then one of the most egregious no-sells I've ever seen as Flair snaps Piper's neck off the top rope to no reaction whatever. I've heard of adrenaline, but that's ridiculous. Piper pounds Flair in the corner, and we see a neat counter; when Flair tries for the reverse atomic drop, Piper sticks a finger in his eye and Heenan almost defecates himself. Airplane spin into a sleeper, which carried through the buzzer. Jake's #16, to both Gino and Heenan's horror. He sits back in the corner and watches Piper put Flair out, then invites him into the corner. Piper doesn't take the bait, so Jake waylays him and I'm in heaven as two of my favorites are finally at it. Flair eventually stirs and requests a hand up from Jake, who gives it to him, then clotheslines him. DDT is saved by Piper, and Heenan thanks him profusely. Flair then puts the figure-four on Jake. I'm taking up too much space with my descriptions, but this segment is gold, as all three guys, three of the sickest heels this sport has ever seen at various times, take turns backstabbing each other and beating each other to a pulp. while Heenan goes back and forth praising and damning whoever saves or hits Flair at a given time. When Piper saves Flair, he wears a kilt. When he resumes pounding away, he wears a skirt again. Absolutely priceless. Duggan's #17. He goes right for Flair (surprise, surprise), but he spends most of his time battling Jake, which is understandable, and even engages in a brief brawl with Piper. Meanwhile, Gino puts over Flair's guts, which gives Heenan an opportunity to do the Real World Champion bit one last time. All kidding aside, this is probably the best Flair performance I've ever seen anywhere. Perhaps for the only time before a pay-per-view audience, WWF fans are getting a chance to see what the fuss was all about for so many years. It would seldom get this good again, from what I've heard. Rotundo's #18. He goes for Flair, while Heenan goes a bit weird talking about deductions and audits. Gino gets a laugh out of Duggan holding Rotundo's tie with one hand and pounding him with the other. The main topic of conversation here is how Jake's paranoid about Savage, always looking around when the horn goes off to see if he's coming. With five guys in the ring again, the action's becoming too much to keep track of, so we should be getting some eliminations soon. Snuka's #19. Not much in the way of advancement, but he's yet another old friend from Crockett who takes the time to pound on Flair. I thought we might get one last confrontation between him and Piper, but no such luck. Heenan's so discombobulated that he says Snuka's wasting time by jogging to the ring. When Gino calls him out on it, he admits, "I don't even know what I'm saying anymore!" I forgot to mention this, but Gino's been torturing Heenan all night by saying that Flair has absolutely no chance to win. By now, that kind of talk has stopped. Taker's #20, which because of Tunney's ruling is the worst number he could have drawn. He announces his presence by eliminating Snuka, and then it's him and Flair. Taker wraps a hand around Flair's neck and squeezes, and even Heenan is despairing: "Everything down the toilet......." Gino suggests that he go down to ringside and throw in the towel, but there's no need as Duggan makes the save.......and gets low-kicked for his trouble. At one point just before the buzzer, Taker has one hand around Duggan's neck and the other around Flair's, which is an awesome visual. Savage is #21, and he goes for Jake but is blindsided by Taker. Meanwhile, Jake's bailed to the floor. He comes back in once Taker has Savage in trouble, and goes for the short clothesline, which misses. Savage connects with a shot, then nails a double axhandle off the top. Jake's all turned around, and a knee to the back ends his day. Randy's so obsessed with Jake that he goes over the top himself and after him. I'm not sure if that was a planned spot or if Randy just forgot what was supposed to go on. Taker goes out to throw him back in, but Randy almost immediately leaves the ring again. Now what? Time for a little rule change straight out of the mouth of Heenan and the ass of Vince: all of a sudden, you have to be propelled out over the top by someone else; self-elimination isn't allowed. Why not? What difference did it make, since Savage wasn't going to win the title? It would have done more for the Jake feud if Randy's elimination had stood, because his obsession with Jake would have cost him something. Anyway, Flair's still in there pounding, and he even low-blows Taker, which Taker somehow manages to no-sell. You're a better man than me, Mark Calloway. Everyone in the ring is being put over for endurance and guts at this point. Berzerker's #22. Interestingly enough, his first target is Taker, and I'd like to see that feud. We get a preview of coming attractions between Flair and Savage, and Heenan actually tells Flair to weasel his way out of the action, which gets the predictable shock reaction from Gino. It's to the point now where it's easy to lose track of what's actually going on, since there are no eliminations taking place and the ring's filling up rather quickly. I'd forgotten this until Heenan brought it up: Berzerker used to win most of his squashes by throwing his opponent over the top and to the floor. Virgil's #23, and he's one of the few guys who doesn't target Flair, going after Rotundo instead. This period's interesting for a couple of its matchups: Taker/Flair, which Heenan wants no part of, and Piper/Virgil, which is another great example of the whole "every man for himself" concept. Gino keeps saying that this is it for Ric, who just keeps on keeping on. Virgil's reign as Million Dollar Champion is put over for perhaps the last time, since the Million Dollar Belt itself left the scene when Money Inc. teamed up (if my memory serves). Sheik's #24. If that's not the Bushwhacker Bounce he and Adnan are doing to the ring, it's something awfully similar. He spends most of his time with Duggan, which is understandable. Piper and Flair seem to have paired off for the most part, although the brief Piper/Taker confrontation looked tasty. I haven't noticed this before, but Savage's shirt is as ugly as sin. Taker's starting to sell a bit from sheer exhaustion, which Gino and Bobby are trying their best to ignore. Martel's #25, and Gino puts him over as the all-time endurance leader. After a brief set-to with Virgil, he naturally targets Flair. We get our first elimination for a while as Sheik bids adieu. The cameras miss it, but they have an excuse, as Flair's on the verge of being dumped by fellow heels Rotundo and Martel. Heenan once again admits that things aren't looking good. We get another odd matchup, as Piper squares off with Berzerker. Meanwhile, Taker and Savage have paired off, which would seem natural given Taker's role in the reception fiasco. Of course, Gino and Bobby acknowledge nothing of the kind, since Randy's "official" feud is still with Jake, Hogan's #26. Heenan pitches his hundredth fit of the night, and turns to begging God to let Flair win, promising that he'll be a different person and apologizing for everything he's ever done or said wrong. You can guess Gino's reaction. Hogan comes in by banging Flair and Taker's heads together, and soon he's in the thick of it without even taking his shirt off. Eventually, he clotheslines Taker over the top, and that's an RIP. Taker lands on his feet and stares daggers, but it doesn't help. Berzerker's excused next, and here comes the shirt. It immediately goes around Martel's neck, and Rick takes the Heenan belt bump from his famous debate with Patera. Duggan and Virgil eliminate each other just because. The shirt ends up in Rotundo's hands and he and Piper take turns choking each other with it while Hogan pounds Flair in the corner. Keirn's #27. He and Hogan square off for most of this period, and it's the first time in years, if ever, that we've seen that matchup. The shirt's still in the ring and is used by just about everyone, and in one unforgettable visual, Rotundo walks over to pound Hogan with it still draped around his neck. Flair's new endurance record is put over, and Heenan says that even if he loses, that record should support his claim to be the Real World Champion. Sarge is #28. Before he can get to the ring, Martel dumps Keirn. Sarge goes after Flair, of course, but the real story of the period is the spirited Hogan-Piper confrontation, almost certainly the last of the Hulkamania era. Eventually, they call a truce and go to work on Martel. Heenan says that Flair's endurance record should be enough to get him the title. Amazingly, the shirt's still in the ring, and everyone gets a turn with it, as Martel repeats the Heenan belt bump, with Piper playing Patera. Sid's #29. He doesn't go for Flair, preferring to use Rotundo as a punching bag instead, Gino spends most of this period eating crow for taking Flair lightly, and you have to wonder if he's speaking for Vince too. No matchups really stand out here, as most of the guys are simply interested in survival. There's only one man left, and while we all know it's Warlord, there's an unintended moment of suspense when he and Bruno are late coming through the curtain. I didn't know Bruno had come north quite this soon; I guess this means Slick is gone for now. Before Warlord can get to the ring and set up the finale, Flair goes out (we don't see how, but it's not over the top) and pulls Hogan out with him. After a bit of a brawl, Hogan suplexes Flair on the concrete. The refs are taking their sweet time making sure Hogan brings Flair back to the ring. Gino says that has to be it for Flair, while Heenan's so flustered he tells Flair to stay out on the floor. Sid fires Sarge out, and we get one last look at his patented corner post bump. Hogan and Flair finally get back into the ring, and while the camera shows that, it misses Rotundo being hooked by his tie courtesy of Piper and yanked over the top. Yet another reason his taxman outfit was totally ridiculous. In their last act as friends, Hogan and Sid team up to toss Warlord. Sid then goes on to eliminate Piper and Martel as they were over by the ropes fighting each other. Anyone who says that Piper can't go ought to check this performance out. Yes, his win against Jacques was a squash more or less, but he still had to wrestle twice and go over thirty minutes in the Rumble. We're down to Hogan. Flair, Savage, and Sid. Hogan pairs off with Flair, Sid with Randy. Before long, Flair comes over to attack Sid from behind, and Randy, who's in Sid's arms at the time, tumbles out. Trapped between the devil and the deep blue sea, Flair attacks Hogan, who Hulks Up on his chops, then delivers some of his own. Hogan fires Flair into the corner shoulder-first, then knocks him to the apron while Sid just watches. While Hogan tries to finish Flair, Sid ambles over and tosses him out clean as a sheet. Hogan throws a fit and actually accuses Sid of stealing the title from him, then tries to pull him out. Flair adds a final push from behind, and we have a new champion as Heenan goes absolutely wild. I'm honestly not sure if the fans booed Hogan, but there are plenty who are cheering Flair as he celebrates to the best of his ability. Hogan comes back in after Flair, but Flair bails, and Curt comes out to collect him. Heenan leaves the booth to join the victory party. Vince is damn lucky there wasn't an accidental double turn that night (Hogan heel, Flair face). Speaking of Hogan, he's still mooning for the belt when Sid comes back in to confront him. Officials fill the ring in a hurry to make sure this brawl doesn't happen before its time. Gino actually calls them by name: Garea, Patterson, and Goulet, among others. This is where the fans boo the hell out of Hogan, and it's while he's doing his hand to the ear bit, which has to be a double blow to his ego. Hogan and Sid trash-talk some more, and amazingly only one ref gets wiped out. Eventually, Sid leaves with a hearty "I'll kill you!" for Hogan, and Gino puts Flair over as The Man one last time before we go back to Gene and Tunney, who's out to present the belt to Flair. Flair proclaims this the greatest moment of his life "with a tear in my eye". Is it? If not, it has to be one of them; he never had to work this hard for the NWA title. He also says that the man who has the WWF title rules the world, which is either where Sid got it from or is something Flair stole from Sid. Regardless, Flair sounds a lot more convincing saying it here. Heenan and Curt join in a hearty "Whoooooo!" (Heenan's is good, Curt's is awful). Interestingly, the Real World Champion stuff isn't quite dead, as Heenan references it one more time. Then we get a classic from Curt: "We're not the kind of guys to say 'We told you so', but (Heenan joins in) WE TOLD YOU SO!" Gene does the "Put that cigarette out!" bit, which really comes out of nowhere, and Flair has one final word for all the other WWF superstars: "Ya'll better pay homage to The Man. WHOOOOOO!" Wow. Once-in-a-lifetime performances from Heenan, Piper, and Flair, almost every WWF star of any note, the prelude to a major heel turn........if it gets any better than this, I'd like to know how. This is my Match of the Year so far, and I'm not sure if it will even be possible to top it. P.S. In case you're interested, the shirt was in the ring for the rest of the match. I think someone finally retrieved it during the Hogan-Sid confrontation, but I can't be sure.

Lawler's interview was the best of the three, as you'd expect. I love how he practically admitted how much of a scumbag Idol could be, but still said that they could beat the Moondogs. By the way, where's Dundee? He hasn't left for WCW yet, so he must be injured, because you know damn right well he'd be in the middle of this whole Moondogs mess otherwise. I liked Koko here too. He's doing more than singing a few notes and showing off Frankie for the first time in years, and it's almost like he's been released from jail on work detail. He's got the crowd fired up too, and Dave's grinning like he hasn't in quite some time. Unfortunately, without Lawler either holding it or challenging for it the Unified World title is nothing more than an afterthought. Want to know what's worse than a disgustingly racist promo? A disgustingly racist promo delivered with all the conviction of a third grader's book report. Coraluzzo's barely reading the cue cards competently, and the idea of someone like him actually being able to connect to a monster like Kamala is totally ludicrous. Richard Lee would have been a much better choice as Kamala's mouthpiece at this point, but I guess he was so associated with the Dogs that they didn't want to mess with success.

This was the best of both worlds for Corny; he could fire the crowd up and pave the way for the Bodies' debut and still get his shots in at the WWF and WCW at the same time. I really liked most of what I saw on Will's SMW set, but '92 was kind of underrepresented, so I'm excited to see how it all started for the promotion. Nice to see Bob Caudle again; this may sound weird for longtime JCP watchers, but I think he really did a lot of his best work here, especially with Dutch Mantel as his color man.

Compared to their wars throughout the eighties, this wasn't much at all. It started tepid and pretty much finished the same way except for Choshu's lariats, which always get a pop. Fujinami didn't look washed up to me, but this match really isn't the best one to tell about stuff like that, since the pace was so slow. The only really crisp move of the bout from him was the dropkick he caught Choshu with on his first lariat attempt. The rest was a rather plodding exhibition of knucklelocks and submission holds that didn't come even close to being effective. The best matches between these two are behind both of them. The postmatch ceremony didn't do much for me either. Was it supposed to be a formal passing of the New Japan torch from Inoki to Choshu?