Loss Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 WWE has put out a casting call yesterday through casting websites looking for a character to play, as they put it, "SHELTON BENJAMIN'S MAMA / Co-Star / Female / African Am / 50-60 Shelton Benjamin's Mama - 50's, Black, heavy set, good personality, willing to travel." They say that the character will be used three to six months, with pay "to be determined". They noted that "This woman will travel all over the country/world to perform for the "Raw" shows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dorian Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 You hafta be kidding me. They can't be serious. This will kill Shelton's career. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loss Posted December 7, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 On the plus side, maybe Rudo can resurrect his horribly offensive "Black Trish" storyline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest savagerulz Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 Be prepared for lots of fried chicken and watermelon jokes, Shelton's "mama" using her shoe as a weapon and lots of "cracka" type remarks. How hard is it to push a legitimate athlete as a legitimate athlete? There's no doubt in my mind this character will be far worse than Muhammad Hassan the terrorist cell leader or Eddie Guerrero the lawn mowing, lying, cheating, stealing Mexican. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sek69 Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 Basically they're looking for Sapphire, 2005/6 version. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheShawshankRudotion Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 On the plus side, maybe Rudo can resurrect his horribly offensive "Black Trish" storyline. You mean UPROARIOUSLY offensive "Black Trish" storyline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cam Chaos Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 As I said elsewhere, Shelton is the new Buff Bagwell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SweetMama Scaat Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 Black Trish? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Famous Mortimer Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 I'd need a lobotomy to start watching WWE again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 On the plus side, maybe Rudo can resurrect his horribly offensive "Black Trish" storyline.You mean UPROARIOUSLY offensive "Black Trish" storyline. I'm scared to ask what that was?! Maybe a PM reply is more appropriate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WidowsPeak Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 Black Trish storyline? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sek69 Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 I might have been more right than I realize, since rumors have Dusty Rhodes as the new RAW GM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheShawshankRudotion Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 Yeah, in a WWE.com article about Victorias booty shorts, Trish said "Oh my god, girl" or something and it sorta evolved from there. The WWE could only aspire to this level of offensiveness. http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?...opic=50592&st=0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SweetMama Scaat Posted December 9, 2005 Report Share Posted December 9, 2005 No, only the TSM gang could inspire that level of offensiveness. That wasnt funny as much as it was dumb. Moving right along, the angle would be bad but not as bad if it were somebody else. Sadling Benjamin with the gimmick is jus stupid considering all they have to to get him over is to send him out there and have matches and do his thing with proper focus and motivation. Tis not areospace engneering. Raws not exactly heavy in the midcard babyface section... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loss Posted December 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 I got a major chuckle just now out of Bryan Alvarez suggesting on WOL that Viscera play Shelton Benjamin's mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest savagerulz Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 I love Alvarez. You never know when he's going to say the funniest thing you've heard all week. Just can come from anywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sek69 Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 LOL at Meltz and Bryan's non-answer answer on the Savage thing. I've always said even if the rumor's not true, Vince must think it's true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheShawshankRudotion Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 "Tons on the Run" RAW Episode 1: Val and Vis are wrestling in a tag match against some jobbers. Before the match a "trailer" for Vals new film airs. It's basically a porn with Vis and Val lovin up the ladies and it's entitled "Big *beep* and Bald *beep* Vol 1". (during the match commentary) King: Supposedly, the reason Val hasn't come up with a new adult film is because he couldn't find the proper financing. Joey: So I hear, I also hear that he had to turn to... let's say... less reputable sources, for the funding. King: Those two guys aren't very wise, Joey. Joey: But I guess their business partners are... King: I wonder what happens if they don't make back the money. Joey: Well, we might just see those two without some fingers. King: Or worse! Joey: Ouch. King: You can say that again. Joey: Ouch. King: No more movies for Val and Vis. Joey: I guess they could always go into foot fetish movies. King: Euck, kissing feet. How low. Joey: You can say that again. King: ... so very, very, low... I was the biggest, hottest, star in wrestling at one point Joey! People loved me! I wasn't some two bit novelty act oogling womens breasts like an old man. I was.. I was.. Joey: KING! Calm down, it's ok. Everything is alright. That's in the past. Let's focus on the match... In another match on the card, Shelton Benjamin gets injured and starts cryin out "MAMA, MAMA!!" The announcers start to question Benjamins heart and resolve. Raw Episode 2: Second verse, same as the first. Another tag squash, another commercial, Joey and King talk about how sales of the video have exceeded expectations, it's a smash hit, etc. After the match, three figures show up ringside (let's say some OVW guys like Albright, Beast, and Jeter, maybe - someone who knows OVW better could maybe comment on who would be fitting. Maybe if they bring in The Predator and Ron Waterman... Maybe a manager as a figurehead, someone sleazy and looks like someone who would get involved in porn - I'd say Million Dollar Man). They have smiles on their faces, they shake Val and Vis' hands, and Val and Vis sell it like they're scared but don't want to show it and smile along nervously. Instead of going to the back, they follow the figures. In another match on the card, Benjamin gets knocked out cold and gets taken to the back on a stretcher, as the doctors try to revive him along the way, he says the words softly "Mama, Mama, I need you Mama, I miss you..." The commentators ponder what that means. Raw Episode 3 Third verse... this time commentary makes reference to a major plummet in sales. Val and Vis keep looking towards ring side, around the arena, etc, and the commentary wonders if it has something to do with last week and the guys that were at ring side. However, no one shows up. Val and Vis go to the back, watching theirs. Later on in the show, Val and Vis are talking about how relieved they are that their investors appear not to be worried about the drop in sales of the new video. They mention that it appears that they won't be able to make the money back. During a Shelton Benjamin interview which is meant to get an update on his condition ("It was a concussion, they doctors told me I'd be good to go in a few weeks") and the interviewer asks him a question about his mother. Shelton says "That's personal, man, I don't want to talk about it. Raw Episode 4 Before the match commentary talks about Val and Vis' winning streak and how they might be potential challengers for the tag titles. Their music plays, but no one comes out. They get counted out. Later on in the show, during a backstage sketch, for some reason someone opens a janitors closet and Val and Vis fall out bloodied. Commentary wonders if its a result of the poor sales of the video and not being able to pay back the loan. During another interview with another wrestler, Shelton Benjamin walks by and the wrestler being interviewed calls him a crybaby who wants his mother... Benjamin snaps and beats the wrestler up - the wrestler needs medical attention. Raw Episode 5 Val and Vis are interviewed in their hospital bed, they are asked "what are you going to do now? how are you going to pay back the debt?". They don't know. The video ends with a figure in a suit showing up and cutting off the camera feed. The audio feed is still intact, and the voice of the man says "gentlemen, I can offer you protection if you are willing to... oh, I forgot to unplug the audio..." The interviewer is still at the hospital and talks about the mysterious man who shut down the interview, and then the interviewer spots Shelton Benjamin walking out of a room and tries to get an interview with him. Shelton explains that he was there to apologize to the wrestler he injured last week and put in critical condition. He grants the interviewer some time to talk to him, saying he feels he needs to get this out and that he can't bottle it up any more. That it will only lead to more pain. TO BE CONTINUED... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheShawshankRudotion Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 ...CONTINUED. Raw Episode 6 Joey Styles says they were sent a video the other day and are now going to air it for the viewers at home. He says he doesn't know where it came from or how it got on his desk, but he's going to share it for everyone. (Val and Vis are shown on screen) Vis: As you all know, we've had some problems the last few weeks. We got into a situation where we were in over our heads, and we paid for it. But the beatings we received a few weeks ago wouldn't have stopped there, and the guys we were dealing with were some bad dudes. Last week we were offered a solution, and we took it. Val: That's right, last week we were offered protection. Witness Protection. As of right now, Vis and I are going to be key witnesses in a trial of the Roselli family, a mob family out of Las Vegas. They helped us produce and distribute our Adult Video, and in return we promised them a certain amount of money in return. We couldn't get that money. So here we are, in the middle of nowhere, we can't see our families, we can't tell anyone where we are, and we can't wrestle... damn, I'd do anything to wrestle again... anyways, we figured that the fans ought to know our situation, you guys deserve an explanation, so there is. Bye. Later on in the show, a Sheldon Benjamin piece airs about his history. He talks about his childhood and how his mother died when he was a lil baby and he only remembers her through this one photograph. It is blurry, and basically shows a large black woman with greying curly hair. He said he recently found that photograph in the attic of his fathers house and how it stirred up all these supressed memories and feelings, which explains his actions over the past few weeks. Raw Episode 7 Whoever the RAW GM is talking to someone, announcing a match, whatever, and at the end of the interview the phone rings. GM: Hello... oh hey... is it ok for me to be talking to you? ... I see... I see... well, that may be a little risky, but Raw would love to have you back in any capacity... ok, ok, alright, see you next week. I'll have a match ready, don't you worry. *hangs up phone* Another Benjamin video airs, getting further into how growing up with out a mother really affected him and how the results of her death were unclear and how he always wanted answers. He talks about how it's the big mental hurdle that he can't clear to reach the next level of superstardom. He says he feels good to get this all out, and hopes that when he comes back next week, he'll be a new man. Better than ever. Raw Episode 8 The GM is talking to the wrestlers off screen saying how excited he is to have them back and how their match is up next. (The two wrestlers debut as "Big Mama" and "Granny V", clearly Vis and Val in drag as old ladies) King: Um... are they who I think they are? Joey: They can't be serious. King: Who would ever fall for such an act? Joey: They have to be two of the ugliest old women I've ever seen. King: What about Moolah and Mae Young? Joey: Oh god, I stand corrected. (the match is a quick squash) After the match Big Mama and Granny V are talking backstage about how glad they're back wrestling and how they think their costumes are working really well. All of a sudden they spot the Rosellis in the background... Big Mama: Ah crap, they're still hanging around. Granny V: They must've known we wouldn't stay away. Big Mama: Well, what do we do?? Granny V: I dunno.. get ready to fight? Big Mama: Oh man, those guys are bad dudes... Granny V: I know... let's let them make the first move, though... (One of the Rosellis spots the two) Roselli 1: HEY! HEY! I think I see them! (The other 3 run up and make their way towards Big Mama and Granny V) Roselli 2: Hey, fellas? (Big Mama and Granny V ignore them) Roselli 3: Hey, ladies? Big Mama: Yes? Roselli 4: You wouldn't happen to know any two guys named Val Venis and Viscera, would you? Granny V: Never heard of them, but they sound like lovely boys. Roselli 4: Yeah, they're great guys. They owe us a lot of money. And I hear they are also testifying against our family. So they're not only great guys, but they're dead guys. Granny V: Oh well, I think you should be on your way trying to find them and leave us old ladies alone.. Roselli 4: You know what I think? I think that... (Out of no where Shelton Benjamins voice is heard) Shelton: MAMA?! MAMA?!?!?! MAMA IS THAT YOU??!?!?!! (Shelton runs up and breaks through the Rosellis and goes face to face with Big Mama) Shelton: MAMA, it IS you!!! Big Mama (Looking at Shelton and then looking at the Rosellis, who are now in shock): Um... yes... son? Shelton: Mama, I thought you were dead. I thought I lost you! Big Mama: Oh no baby, I was... away... for a long time... but I saw your video on the TV and I knew you were my baby and I knew that I found you baby, I found you, that's why I'm here right now. For you baby. Shelton: Oh god Mama, this is the happiest day of my life. I feel like I can do anything. Nothings going to come between us again. Big Mama: I know baby, I know. Shelton: Hey, who are these men? Granny V: Oh, those are some very bad men Shelton, they're trying to take your Mama away from you again. (Shelton gets PISSED) Shelton: Like hell you are, I'll kill you before you lay a hand on my Mama!!!! Roselli 2: NO NO NO! It's not like that! We... OH GOD.. (Rosellis run away) Granny V: Good work Shelton! Big Mama: Good work, son... Shelton: Mama, I have a match comin up next, but after that, we're gonna spend some quality time together... catch up... I'm gonna make you so proud!! (Shelton leaves) Big Mama: Oh boy... Granny V: This is GREAT! Big Mama: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THIS IS GREAT? Granny V: You saw the look in his eyes, he was fired up, he scared the Rosellis away! He was willing to kill them for you, and he has the god-given athletic ability to do so. With him, we might have a chance of getting rid of those guys once and for all! Big Mama: I see what you mean. Granny V: I think we just got lucky, Big Mama. Big Mama: I think so too, Granny V. TO BE CONTINUED. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CanadianChick Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 Swear to god Rudo, you really do need to seek help. Damn, where does that come from?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheShawshankRudotion Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 Blame Loss. Wait until the more tender moments are revealed... "Some things time can't destroy. Even after years of seperation, the memory of a mother's love comes flooding back and all the years melt away." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Some Guy Posted December 13, 2005 Report Share Posted December 13, 2005 I got a major chuckle just now out of Bryan Alvarez suggesting on WOL that Viscera play Shelton Benjamin's mother. That line had me laughing so hard that my father came into the room to see if I was ok. It also caused me to spit orange juice all over my moniter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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