Viaje del Parties: 2016 in Review

[Bierschwale]

Jack Gallagher is the "World of Sport" guy if there is one from the second British Indie Invasion. Fantastic grappler and "small stuff" worker. Hopefully him being put in the Cruiserweight Classic equals EVOLVE bookings.

[Parties]

13) The Usos vs. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows (Extreme Rules, 5/25)
I was stunned by how good this was. This is how you deliver a “PPV performance”. This is how you make people forget that these two teams have already faced each other on TV like 5 times in the last three weeks. I would have to go back and watch/rank the RAW six-man of Reigns/Usos vs. The Club, but this is the likely the best Usos outing of the year. Which sounds like a dubious achievement, but the Usos have had like at least 10 matches on TV this year and I think I’ve seen all of them. The brawling gave this a new flavor and the Usos here adopted the approach that topes should be an attempt to missile yourself and crush your opponent. I’m also genuinely impressed by how much better Anderson/Gallows are in WWE than they were doing wank-ville NWO idiocy in New Japan. Even Anderson’s version of the Yakuza Kick that looks like the way Little Tokyo would do the move has a weird charm to it. Hell, I’ll even say Anderson’s selling is really good here! And he’s a guy who I’ve outright disliked for most of his career. Frankly it makes me wonder to what degree this is a) them trying harder, having better opponents and in some ways a better platform, and c) my own biases against the Bullet Club and in favor of the current WWE roster (and to a lesser degree PPV match style). Also in the interest of fairness: I get on Kevin Dunn as much as anyone here. I’m a guy who think camera work can make or break a match, and that WWE’s approach often breaks them. But damned if this match wasn’t actually enhanced by some great cuts and angles that made some of the big bumps look even crazier than they were (esp. the moments where the Usos were wiping out and getting falling from the top rope to the floor). The Club’s finisher is still pretty dumb, but I loved this and think it's probably the best Usos match I’ve ever seen, and I say that as an avid fan of the team.

47) Kalisto vs. Rusev [uS Title] (Extreme Rules, 5/25)
I would agree with Dylan that this is Kalisto didn’t deserve to get squashed this hard after a strong 2016, but I do think this was notably better than the acclaimed Del Rio and Ryback matches, which I liked but didn’t love. This however was really good. Rusev’s selling was weak at times (esp. in Kalisto’s sleeper, where he walked to the ropes and made mugging faces that John Waters would deem over the top). But then he broke it with a backdrop and gasped for air brilliantly with a great look on his face, so clearly no one can do any wrong on this show so far. The corkscrew plancha from Kalisto here was incredible, and Rusev scoop-slamming Kalisto on the apron was your ROH Mooov of the Night. The finish is as nasty-looking as advertised and for Rusev felt like a Bonafide Renaissance (which coincidentally is also the name of my barber).

86) Big E/Xavier Woods vs. The Vaudevillians (Extreme Rules, 5/25)
I like that Woods has gotten to work more lately, for the same reasons why Michael Hayes made my GWE 100, but this felt like a deal where they put in the second-string guy because they knew their opponents were losers. Of the two, Gotch is more dynamic (as in he’s the guy who goes at his opponent full tilt and has watched enough 90s All Japan to apply a Stretch Plum solidly), but English is still competent. While there wasn’t a ton to this, I thought everything was Well Dunn and this was still above what they would likely do on TV together. In particular the bonanza that is Big E’s freakish tope. Woods hitting a wacky Shining Wizard and looking like he needs a hit off his inhaler afterwards made me smile. I also think this show is 100x better if you watch it on mute, as I did for these first 3 matches.

[Parties]

102) The Miz vs. Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn [intercontinental Title] (Extreme Rules, 5/25)
Beginning of this wasn’t great: I agree with the post-show podcast idea that Zayn hasn’t actually been that good on the main roster, so him and Cesaro starting together looked telegraphed at times (particularly Cesaro having to pause hunched over in the Sunset Flip stance for way too long). They’re doing a ton of the usual multi-man spots that take too long to set up. So much stuff where guys have to stand in an awkward position while visibly calling spots, waiting for the third or fourth guy to come slam them. The Zayn-Owens segments are particularly boring and awkward. It’s remarkable how they’re building this whole match around Cesaro. Displays of his talent, his charisma, his capacity as a ring general guiding the rest. The final 2.9 kickouts with Cesaro and Zayn are good insofar as they’re working hard, but there’s an element of this that feels too post-Kayfabe. Unlike a Reigns-Styles, you never believe either guy’s trying to win a match. These are friends going through spots, making each other look good. This is anything but a fight. I think the major reason why people have liked Miz in this feud and have responded to his act is that he’s a different flavor, whereas Owens and Zayn and even Cesaro blend into each other in some ways. Miz is a true blue heel getting heat. In a strange way, this is Miz doing the Ric Flair title defense. It’s a match built around making everyone else look good, but he takes the win in a manner that is at once disputed, yet generous, while establishing him at the top of the hierarchy. Will be interesting to see who lands where in the Draft: I worry we may be getting Cesaro as the new and improved Ziggler on RAW.

84) Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose [Asylum Match] (Extreme Rules, 5/25)
Terry Funk help me and keep me: I didn’t think this was that bad. In fact, it was kind of good. Jericho works like a chickenshit heel. That said, he’s still Jericho. He’s still gonna trip over his own two feet and put his hands up four feet from his face when getting thrown against cage walls. But he did some things right here, and I think we have to be fair to him when he does. I liked his glam take on bunkhouse attire as a form of mild self-parody. I enjoyed that he sold fear in his entrance and got over the cage and weapons as a dangerous spectacle. As for Ambrose: part of the disappointment in him comes from this idea that he could be Austin, or could have been. Two years ago I thought that was a possibility (albeit very distant, esp. with that Alkaline Trio haircut). This match and the Brock debacle before it show what WWE is now booking him to be: their new Mick Foley. And all things considered, that might be a fairer, more realistic role for him. They think naming the houseplant and mops and straight jackets are a means toward writing quality Mick Foley comedy. It’s just another instance of 1998 recalled through the scattered mind of 2016 Vince.

As for that mop being the first thing they use: what, do you want them to go for heavy artillery first? It had to build. The use of weapons actually struck me as well done in an FMW sort of way: a mix of comedy, lunacy, and stiff shots. I’d rather watch something that’s humorously weird or even bad than something that’s technically fine but dull as that IC Title 4-way was. I had more problems with Ambrose’s spotty approach to bump-taking than I did to anything Jericho did here. Like, the bump Heath Slater took into a sheet cake on RAW this week was a 100x better than any bump Ambrose took here. The match was probably a bit too long, but this didn’t feel as bloated as Styles-Jericho at Mania, even if Styles is the better worker. Because this was Jericho working to his present capacity (closer to a veteran using blood at the end of their career) than trying to work up to Styles’. Plus you get Jericho doing the Funk shakes at the end. Most matches on Mania this year were worse than this, including the main event.

136) Charlotte vs. Natalya [Women’s Title] (Extreme Rules, 5/25)
Kind of a nothing match: short stuff leading to a cheap distraction finish. The matwork was boring and aside from a technically impressive moonsault from Charlotte, there’s nothing here that I’ll even remember a week from now. But I will say that by far the highlight of this match was Dana Brooke, who’s become really entertaining and a truly fun heel. I don’t think she’s particularly good in the ring, but you could see from her work with Flair here that she’s one of these dynamo types who are up for anything and will put over badly-scripted nonsense that they’re given, which is perhaps the best career asset one can have there. I understood for the first time watching this why they’re so high on her.

10) Roman Reigns vs. A.J. Styles [World Heavyweight Title] (Extreme Rules, 5/25)
Who’s the heel here again? Early on I liked this, but wondered if it was even as good as the Payback match. Somewhere around Styles teasing a piledriver on the exposed concrete floor - and the crazy table bump he then took - I started wondering if Styles really is what people think Shawn Michaels was. A spectacularly agile, highspots-plus-psychology junior heavyweight ace who's been top notch for 15 years and counting. If nothing else, he’s Walt Disney’s “Shawn of the South.” But I liked the finish of this in the ring more than the hardcore spots. The exchange of big moves and near falls is where they excel, and between the Styles Clash and other key moments, Styles managed to make me think he could win this even when I knew he wouldn’t. Tremendous outing that as others have said is the most textbook outing of what Styles can be, and perhaps even a career-changing match for these two guys by having it at exactly the right time.

[Parties]

116) Detective Joey Ryan vs. Mascarita Sagrada (Lucha Underground, 5/25)
On one hand, it’s really dumb that LU does matches like this. On the other, this was fun, even in its absolute demolition of kayfabe.

77) HHH/Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose/Sami Zayn [Handheld] (Paris Accorhotels, 4/22)
Faces! Heels! Strange how effective these outdated concepts appear to be when put into motion. Here, the the future owner of their company has the sort of simple, old-school match that vastly exceeds his Wrestlemania main event, and which Vince and Dunn have spent fifteen years actively removing from television. I may be overrating this for its novelty as it never really kicks into top gear, but it’s so close to what WWE can be at its best that I won’t bother going into my usual soapbox spiel.

35) Los Panteras vs. Los Terrible Cerebros (IWRG, 4/13)
I can’t believe I missed this when it first dropped, but such is the cubsfan goldmine. Black Terry’s been at times depressing this year: he’s suddenly become an old man with a bad mustache who has to wear a t-shirt in the ring and no longer works at the level of his 2008-2011 glory. But he’s also a mercurial one, in that even within a single match, he’ll alternate between looking lousy and brilliant. His matwork with El Pantera that kicks this off is weak and uninspired. But then this transitions into smooth chain wrestling between Pantera Primera and Dr. Cerebro. This then gets way better once the Cerebros are on offense as Terry still knows how to tear someone’s arm off at the elbow. All of the Cerebros transform into knee-stomping, mocking, finger-bending, teeth-kicking heels, and there’s a lot of great Southern tag formula here in the way the ref is utilized as both blessing and thorn in the sides of the Panteras. This has fantastic back-and-forth momentum as just when the technicos seem to be on a roll, you get something like Dr. Cerebro hitting a textbook springboard dropkick that completely cuts them back down.

[Parties]

20) Aja Kong vs. Chihiro Hashimoto (Sendai Girls, 1/9)
I’ll cop to having seen shamefully little Aja over the years, and having not enjoyed many of her performances that I have seen. This is a really cool flavor where she’s a veteran working evenly against a young shooter, which gives this an appealing Vader-in-UWFi vibe. (Do other people like Vader in UWFi? No idea.) Hashimoto - a small tank whose legs would be compared to two glorious jamon ibericos were this a Dean Rasmussen review - excels throughout. Rather than squashing Hashimoto (as Kong seems to do to a lot of her opponents), this is more evenly worked and better for it. There’s some matwork early in which accomplished ground game worker Hashimoto is working bridges and headstand spots in order to try to get a grip on Kong. The result feels like a really good shoot stylist trying to apply holds to a refrigerator. And I mean that as a compliment. The strikes here are also BattlARTS great: Hashimoto teeing off to throw vicious roundhouse slaps, Kong punching and kicking Hashimoto like a swatting grizzly bear. I’ve disliked Kong’s reliance on weapons in the past, but the deathblow here is really sudden and well done. Check it out!

[Parties]

58) Chavo Guerrero vs. Cage [Gift of the Gods Title] (Lucha Underground, 5/25)
Smart little match that made both guys look good. Chavito’s always been underrated as a wily gatekeeper vet who helps guys establish themselves. Look at his matches with Danielson and Sydal early in their WWE runs. This is his most high-profile match in about a decade, and he delivers doing simple heeling and cheating that would make Chavo Classic proud. Cage looks like the juggernaut that they want him to be, and wow is he over with this crowd. The power offense here is remarkable, and I liked Chavo working constant defense to try to minimize the blows and try to counter with things like the failed bicycle kick. The Michinoku Driver here is one of the most brutal moves I’ve seen on TV in a while.

36) Rey Mysterio/Prince Puma/Dragon Azteca vs. Johnny Mundo/Jack Evans/P.J. Black (Lucha Underground, 5/25)
You can really see here the difference made by LU’s choice to create a hyped-up studio environment and acknowledge its fans. It makes the workers - especially the technicos - feel like much bigger stars. Parts of the Azteca-Evans opening were sloppy, but that’s to be expected and Evans felt like his old self: an insane bumper and one of the more charismatic guys in the business. There were shades of early 90s Shawn Michaels in him here, in a good way, as he’s making spectacular leaps across the ring to break up pins, arguing with the ref, and looking better than he has in many years. The action was so fast and fun and athletically impressive here that you can forgive the overkill. (More on this topic later with Ricochet-Ospreay.)

In a match like this, you see what a smart Moneyball team the LU roster is. You have all these WWE rejects mixed with aging journeymen, some indie scum guys with drug problems, and a handful of really young talents who are gonna get picked up by the Stamford Yankees in due time. But for now it’s a great mix that makes guys who aren’t compelling on their own into something really fun. It feels like a lot of these one-time “movez” guys have developed a wiser sense of psychology and match structure while remaining true to their aerial instincts.

69) Ricochet vs. Will Ospreay (NJPW, 5/27)
First off, I loved the entrances and pre-match buildup of this. The crowd’s response and how it helped the early action never felt forced or awkward. The start of this match also shows that you can’t teach swag. Whereas this stuff might have looked lame coming in a meaningless match between two scrubs, there’s a star power aspect that makes the flips and counters feel like two pros reacting to each other in real time rather than some void Cirque de Soleil idiocy. If anything, this illustrates why you can’t judge a match by some out-of-context GIF.

Ospreay’s a guy I’ve strongly disliked this year, in large part because I’ve found him so void of charisma, but he is clearly starting to pick up good qualities in that regard. He felt much more confident and entertaining here, as though he’s had to do some growing up at 23 that he wouldn’t have achieved without this push. Compare him here to how immature and impotent someone like Kenny Omega looks most of the time.

My problem with overly-elaborate spotfests is wasted motion. Setting up needlessly complex stuff that in a fight would be not nearly as effective as simply punching or slamming your opponent. So I liked that in between giant spots here, both guys took the time to also just sporadically kick each other really hard. They took advantage of opportunities in sensible moments. You still get some excess (see: Ricochet somersaulting his way into DDTs for no justifiable reason), but there’s so much solid submission work and selling throughout that you can forgive their sillier indulgences. Even if elaborate, they both worked to put over each other’s moves as violent and purposeful, as with Ricochet hitting a gigantic backbreaker that Ospreay sells like he’s been shot.

The last five minutes are where it starts to fall apart and you get a lot of the standard Ricochet overkill. Shooting starring his way into quick two-counts, too many head drops, his poor selling, etc. Ospreay whiffs a kick. But those are small grievances in an overall good enough match. Not one of my favorites of the year, but fun stuff. In an NBA Finals week, you can buy into a spectacle of two megastars in a tournament doing some over-the-top stuff to get over a rivalry of agility and showmanship.

[Parties]

152) Shockercito/Último Dragóncito vs. Pequeño Olímpico/Pequeño Violencia (CMLL, 6/3)
This minis division has sucked for a while: I’m not sure what happened to all the guys who used to be great here (Bam Bam, Demus, Pequeno Pierroth, etc.). Olimpico seems too big to even be working here, but he does get in a good faceplant slam on Dragoncito. Shockercito does some bad posing and headstands while Ultimo does all the work. Not horrible, but a lot of awkward high-flying that feels way too rigid and telegraphed.

20) CIMA/Gamma/Peter Kaasa vs. Genki Horiguchi/Kagetora/Ryo Saito (Dragon Gate, 6/2)
This only goes six and a half minutes, but I wanted to check it out to see what Kaasa - one of the most intriguing guys in America right now - is up to there. CIMA hits an insane tope a minute in, Horiguchi’s new act as a Macho Man tribute is a lot better than Jay Lethal’s, and everyone else admirably runs around like mad men. Not sure where this fits into the contrarian rubric, but it does feel like a lot of us are coming around to Dragon Gate, or at least entertaining the possibility that it could be good again. This stuff is way, way more fun than the Shingo/Doi/YAMATO-dominated era of '06 and beyond when this company was a wasteland, and is more reminiscent of the madcap laughs that early DG and Toryumon brought. This is lucharesu through and through, complete with muscle-freak Kaasa as the spoiler throwing dudes around and doing kip ups. Unlike the worst of DG, there’s nothing dumb or disbelief-upending here. Even the goofiest stuff here remains coherent, and the team dynamic works beautifully. Best of all, Kaasa gets a pretty staggeringly great showcase where he looks like the prodigal gaijin son who can Make Japan Great Again. His offense is spectacular, and he works with these opponents in a way that suggests he intrinsically gets it. It’s odd to say a match this short is one of the best of the year, but if anything it just makes me want to watch more DG to see if this is the exception or the rule.

[Parties]

49) Rey Escorpion vs. Caristico (CMLL, 6/6)
Escorpion was an awesome base in the first fall, and honestly Caristico’s pretty charismatic as fired-up technico. The first two falls are so ridiculously brief that it feels truly silly to indulge the format. The mask ripping and wild dives to the floor make this feel like a truly brutal main event, even with Caristico’s usual kayfabe-killer showboating. Escorpion in comparison looks like a maniac in the suicide dives he’s willing to execute.

126) Jun Akiyama vs. LEONA (Fortune Dream III, 6/14)
Fujinamicito has enough of a pedigree that he’s presented as Akiyama’s equal despite having a soft Scott Baio vibe. Like the Nomura match below, I was disappointed not in Akiyama but by his opponent. Leona seemed very run-of-the-mill, which is a bad look if you’re Dad’s a top 5 all-timer. Just ten minutes by the numbers that never had genuine heat.

25) Ultimo Guerrero vs. Valiente [NWA World Middleweight Title] (CMLL, 6/17)
I am a guy who will continue to list every meaningless title that’s on the line in every lucha match. This starts with the CMLL Nitro Chicas doing the same wavy-arms dance move for two minutes straight until Valiente finally enters. Kind of “Walk Like an Egyptian”, which feels apt as he’s decked out in gold King Tut gear. If you’ll indulge one more aside: there’s a weird thing that’s happened in the last 18 months or so where CMLL now looks like more of a professional sports product than WWE. Whoever’s filming it actually watches sports, and the dark arena actually makes it look more credible, even if they’re hiding the crowd. This starts with some legwork on the mat that I could see some folks dismissing as unrealistic in that lucha manner, but the theatrics of it all worked for me and it felt like them trying to put on a smart showcase of old-school holds. They could have cinched in more, but they had the right ideas: this is really the result of Valiente having to move UG into position at times and carry the baggage in moments when Ultimo’s dead-weighting him and looking a bit gassed. But even that works in the story they end up telling, as this is a bit like a latter-day Flair or Hogan match wherein a capable younger guy gets something from the megastar, and vice versa. The story becomes whether the megastar can hang with the credible worker, and UG gets in some good spots, as essentially better versions of an Undertaker tope onto Shawn Michaels.

Both guys deserve a lot of credit for the bumps they took in the third fall: there is some serious barrel-chested aerial offense going on here: two miniature Hemingways colliding at top speed. I loved that these were dives that felt like two aging vets trying to do maximum damage rather than some elaborate Cirque de Soleil. By not looking pretty, it looks deadly. The Valiente Special remains perhaps the best and most underrated move in wrestling today, and Guerrero has some really brutal headdrop stuff of his own in which he’s just killing his opponent with draping power bombs and the like in the corner. There is also a moment near the end when Valiante hits Guerrero with a move you’d seen before, but never with the KO force that is shown here. This also achieves a truly earned finish that both happens abruptly yet feels decisive and worthy. This was the lucha equivalent of two guys trying to have a Wrestlemania match, complete with all of the bombast, but the result was shockingly good.

98) Guerrero Maya, Jr./The Panther vs. Arkangel de la Muerte/Virus [Arena Coliseo Tag Championship] (PROESA, 6/18)
Where are the promoters even getting all these belts? Are they just the same belt renamed contextually? Are they pewter? Either way, this is a brilliant dream match pairing and we’re lucky to have CubsFan in these moments. Let the record show that pyro that is both pretty low-rent and also gigantic goes off at the top of this match. Really the whole match is wonderfully indie and wouldn’t look out of place on a 2003 Jersey All Pro tape, or one of those tight rec-room Jamie Dundee matches that ends in the crowd turning on him. The opening Virus-Panther exchange is unfortunately tedious. This improves a lot with Arkangel and Maya doing a bunch of sneaky, zealous theater of the absurd. Their shtick and brawling into the seats is a lot more interesting than Virus teaching Panther how to work the elbow, to be honest. This felt lethargic at times, but given the sheer number of matches these guys seem to be working on tape nowadays, they can’t all be gems. The last three minutes were pretty solid as you get a wild tope and some shades of Satanico out of Virus, but this one never kicked into top gear.

136) Jun Akiyama vs. Naoya Nomura (AJPW, 6/19)
Dull. Always good to see Akiyama, but he’s phoning it in against a weak opponent. Nomura seems to be going for the good kind of Taue/Ogawa awkwardness, but it’s more of a genuinely bad awkwardness. To his credit Nomura does take a ridiculously stiff beating of knees and suplexes, but the takeaway feels more like one of those uneventful rookie-sadism matches that fill out Japanese cards. A skippable Akiyama match is unfortunate, but there you go.

[Parties]

107) Yuki Ishikawa/Keita Yano vs. Manabu Hara/Sanshu Tsubakichi (Kenji Takeshima Produce, 3/26)
Yano’s aesthetic transformation in the last five years is unreal. He’s gone from being a blonde shoot-style waif in mermaid gear to a guy simultaneously wearing a Latino World Order t-shirt, a Mexican-flag colored Sting/Venom bodysuit under it, Heath Ledger joker makeup, CMLL Rush’s hair, Nakamura’s mannerisms, Union Jack tights, and furry neon pink Bruiser Brody boots. That’s the most number of gimmicks I’ve seen on one person at one time, like some Carrot Top of Japanese grapplefuck. There are many violent acts committed in the first couple minutes of this, but I forgot that perhaps the most vicious move in Ishikawa’s arsenal is his headlock. It’s unreal, but this guy applies resthold headlocks with more ferocity than most guys use to hit their title-winning finisher. Tsubakichi and Yano looked horrible here, blowing basic kicks, unintentionally falling out of the ring, bad matwork, and other measures that make it seem like Yano might be adding Jeff Hardy’s pharma to his goth gimmick box. Hara has some good stuff from his BattlARTS/Big Mouth Loud days that he shows off, but this is a mess and only Ishikawa emerges as great. Telling of the current state in Japan that you get these matches with legendary greats working against guys who seem totally clueless.

22) Drew Gulak vs Timothy Thatcher (PWG “Lemmy”, 1/2)
Really liked the dual attempts at leg sweeps here. Gulak was solid, but Thatcher was the standout as this was the best and most comfortable match I’ve seen him in all year. Whereas he’s almost looked frustrated and out of sorts as EVOLVE champ, this was his home turf and his holds looked a lot better and more sensible. This also had some humorous oneupsmanship in the chops on the mat and springing wildly into holds that gave it a cool “Kill the Rabbit” vibe. For people who want a little more pro wrestling in their indie grappling, this has enough suplexes, piledrivers, and dropkicks to keep you interested.

93) Sami Callahan vs. Trevor Lee (PWG “Lemmy”, 1/2)
Callahan’s lost a step for me this year, as the awesome EVOLVE tag tournament match he had is the only performance of his that I’ve loved. This has admirable fire, but Lee’s not enough of an opponent. I’m also not that interested in the story of “Better Known/More Experienced guy tortures Young Upstart with 3 Dozen Finishers”, and that’s too much of what Callahan has been of late. But horror movies almost never work for me either, so your mileage may vary.

17) Drew Galloway vs. Jack Evans (PWG “Lemmy”, 1/2)
Galloway as singles King of the Indies continues to be great fun. I won’t spoil the opening spot of this, but it is so fun, smart, well-executed, and emblematic of the two characters involved that it speaks to the knowledge both guys have accrued over the years. Evans deserves to be in the conversation for Most Improved of the year. He’s got this and his Lucha Underground work, and in both manages to combine the acrobatics he’s always had with a savvy character. The intimacy of this match really gets over the Reseda crowd: this might as well be an old rec room bill of the Germs, X, or the Minutemen, for all the noble flab sweat and enthusiasm. Galloway is too much of a juggernaut beast for Evans. Initially, he overpowers. But like Mysterio or the other great cruiserweights vs. big man moments, Evans is able to find hope spots wherein he can catch the brute and hit a daredevil dive. His advantage is a capacity for risk. His chance is set upon how fast and precisely he can become a projectile. The bumps from both guys are truly amazing, in a way that reminds you of what wrestlers can achieve.

74) Meiko Satomura vs. Syuri (Sendai Girls, 3/11)
Some “Your turn, my turn” moments: they’re telegraphing strikes in a way that’s either calculated or transparent depending on how you see it. But the strikes are also damn strong, and Satomura gives so much in the process. You’ll tune out at times because it’s almost too much of an exhibition, but sporadically there’s an enziguri or big kick that really works. It’s all well-performed, but I do have to ask: is anyone in modern Japan ever put over? Are we at the point where we’ve now seen a lot of mediocre young lions fall by the wayside?

102) Colt Cabana vs. Kimber Lee (Beyond Wrestling, 4/24)
Gender is over (if you want it). Time and space are shifting. Good (albeit very unusual) match. The thing about this and matches like it is that there is absolutely a political lesson in place, and that if you view life as a TV dinner wherein your politics and your wrestling should never touch, you may have a problem. But “They put the flag on the Cowboy” is a lesson. The Briscoes wearing Confederate flags in the Hammerstein Ballroom is a lesson. The Gangstas in SMW is a lesson. So to pretend that this is somehow new territory is wrong. This takes some interesting twists and turns, all of it pure circus.

Chief problem with the match: Kimber Lee doesn’t always carry her weight, which gives fodder to Affirmative Action trolls. Yes: her deadlift suplexing Cabana looks a tad far-fetched. Her crucial tope and cross body spots are terrible, to the point that almost any woman currently wrestling on TV could hit them better. But her big strikes look good. Lee shows up in the final 30 seconds of the match, but this is ultimately a Cabana carry job. “Cabana carry job” being a phrase that will make many on this board cringe. But damned if the dude doesn’t pull out all the carny stops to put her over.

[Parties]

157) El Torito vs. Demus 3:16 (WWC, 6/25)
Solid mix of the usual topes and chain wrestling. You’ve seen each guy do their stuff before, and this lacks the hijinks of even a Torito-Hornswaggle match. Demus in control with Torito selling is a lot better. Torito has at least three major botches. Granted, he’s going for big, impressive stuff, but it really felt like something was wrong with him here, either from lingering injuries or the possibility that he got knocked out during the match and was trying to wing it from there. It felt like a great athlete whose body was trying to still excel on Autopilot, if only because he didn’t know how to quit. Minis continue to be a letdown in 2016.

108) Diamante Azul/Johnny Idol/Rush vs. Cibernético/Sam Adonis/Último Guerrero (CMLL, 7/2)
This came on Autoplay and I normally wouldn’t have stuck with this given the roll call, but it ended up being pretty interesting, and truer to an old-school 80s trios than anything I’d seen in a while. Azul, Idol, and Rush are a competent technico team, with Rush even breaking that mold and the other two being such patsies that the dynamic works. Adonis is relishing being a rudo, such that him and UG can look like Los Infernales in order to make up for Cibernético being useless.

196) Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Chris Jericho [Handheld] (WWE Live Japan, 7/1)
This goes up fifty spots higher than it would for me, because we get to see a fan cam version of Nakamura’s entrance. The match in truth is pretty sluggish as Jericho tries once again to have an athletic match that he shouldn’t be having. He should be a stooge begging off, yet weirdly at times it feels like Nakamura’s doing that on his behalf?

31) John Cena vs. AJ Styles (WWE Live Japan, 7/1)
Textbook in all the right ways. You could argue this is a Cena formula match, but this is so perfectly executed by both guys that I don’t see that as a bad thing at all. Tremendous agility from Styles throughout, and the pace of this would not have looked out of place in the best 80s NWA matches.

137) Johnny Gargano vs. Cedric Alexander (EVOLVE 64, 7/16)
I got to see this show both live and re-watch it on the stream. The early wristlocks here looked rote at the time: two guys slowly exchanging arm drags and the like. Gargano reminds me a lot of Orton or even Jericho in that they somehow seem better live than they do on tape. Closeup you can see the flaws in his game (weird stilted selling, light hand on holds).

104) Fred Yehi vs. Tony Nese vs. Chris Dickinson vs. Darby Allin (EVOLVE 64, 7/16)
This was Allin’s show, taking an insane series of bumps already hitting GIF airwaves. Yehi’s foot stomps and shtick were good, but I would have liked to have seen more of his matwork, even if this really isn’t the match for it. Nese is being built up as the star of the four and is dull in a Gabe project sort of way. Dickinson does nothing for me as generic powerbomb dude.

145) Ethan Page vs. Wheeler YUTA (EVOLVE 64, 7/16)
Good squash in which YUTA (billed from Silicon Valley) actually looked better on tape than I’d thought live, getting more offense in and taking a mauling from Page. Nothing bananas, but I liked Wheeler’s kicks and routine as some DDT-style version of Mike Bailey.

53) Zack Sabre, Jr. vs. Jigsaw (EVOLVE 64, 7/16)
I was disappointed to see Jigsaw and Taylor on this show as it felt like a step backward stylistically and to a less fruitful time for the company, but Jigsaw holds his own here. What these two lack in strength or technique, they make up for in agility. Jigsaw even works as the more vicious of the two in twisting holds, while Sabre’s more escapology, bridges, and flash pins. They get over the idea that if hit with precision at the right moment, a tope con hilo or missile dropkick can beat submission work. Good stuff.

9) Matt Riddle vs. Roderick Strong (EVOLVE 64. 7/16)
Outstanding Riddle performance. He is the prodigy in wrestling right now. So versatile throughout: sometimes he’s the arrogant heel Von Erich, sometimes he’s a beast on the mat, he can strike, and he can even sell the beating from Strong’s backbreakers. One spot here where Strong camel clutches Riddle by the nostrils feels like the right tenor for each guy right now. Strong’s finishing run is on point (though a simple stomp to Riddle’s face was my favorite moment), and Riddle’s springboard knee is perhaps the best move in wrestling today.

114) Timothy Thatcher vs. Marty Skurll (EVOLVE 64, 7/16)
Thatcher continues to look lost this year, and Skurll continues to be a cheesy facade. He’s like what nerds think a cool guy looks like. Goatee, shaved ponytail, peacock rave fashion: basically a Warren Ellis character come to life. I don’t buy his work at all either: dude reeks of technical prowess that isn’t actually impressive and a whole lot of lame mannerisms. Every move is nudge-nudge wink-wink without any genuine excitement. Skurll’s choke attempts recall the glory days of 2005-07 Shawn Michaels as really bad submission work that has to be put over as good. Commentary on wrestling without any verve behind it. Not sure what’s going on with Thatcher right now, but he feels like young Backlund in a lost kind of way, not the good powerhouse Backlund with relentless power and stamina. It also doesn’t help that he’s been portrayed as a goofy coward getting chumped out by several dudes on the roster at once.

144) Drew Gulak/Tracy Williams vs. Drew Galloway/Dustin Howard [Tag Team Titles] (EVOLVE 64, 7/16)
I’m sorry, but I am not referring to this goon as simply “Dustin”. I’ll disagree with the EVOLVE thread crowd and say that having now watched this twice (live and on tape), I really don’t like the match or the booking. Howard has some touches of the Honky Tonk Man that I like, and many that I really don’t like. Galloway is always great as a juggernaut, but Gulak and Williams don’t really work as a team getting competitively squashed. Williams needed more time working as an underdog this year, as Catch Point has been a step backward for almost pretty much everyone in the group. He’s now being presented a top guy without really feeling like one. In some ways this showed that EVOLVE shows without Hero feel somewhat lacking.

107) Tommaso Ciampa vs. Cedric Alexander (EVOLVE 65, 7/17)
I’ve praised Ciampa’s intensity and over-delivery in matches that didn’t much matter this year, but this in contrast is too jokey-dokey at the outset, esp. for Ciampa in front of his hometown crowd. It’s like he’s reassuring his high school friends, “Don’t worry: I’m not really a pro wrestler.” Cedric’s dives are fun but this is otherwise too indie-showcase pour moi. Still, you have to give it to Cedric for being so agile in working that style. The finish is athletically impressive in the back-and-forth.

158) Ethan Page vs. Travis Gordon (EVOLVE 65, 7/17)
Fine squash, but repetitive if you’ve seen much Page this year. I liked the dangerous, irresponsible-looking power bombs and headdrops, but what I’d rather see drop is the other shoe on this angle already. But kudos to them for doing what feels like a yearlong commitment to a heel turn, even if this would have been less telegraphed by just having him behave like a real dude.

83) Matt Riddle vs. Marty Skurll (EVOLVE 65, 7/17)
Tremendous Riddle performance: the selling, the kicks, the Germans, the big Fisherman Buster. Skurll continues to be a pretender to the throne.

110) The Usos vs. Fandango/Tyler Breeze (WWE Battleground, 7/24)
This was very shticky at the points where you had the heels doing groin spots where one accidentally headbutts the other in the junk, but this was fast-paced and entertaining. “Both teams extra motivated tonight” from Mauro sounds like a warning as much as praise, but all four guys looked good and I dug the finish.

67) The Wyatts vs. The New Day (WWE Battleground, 7/24)
Very fun match. I missed the women’s opener, but this and the pre-show match have this looking like one of those good sleeper PPVs. Bray was savage with the lariats and Sister Abigail here. The rise of Kenta Woodsbashi at the end was surprisingly invigorating, and Big E looked great until he implant Ganzo Bombed himself on the floor with that crazy dive that he always kills himself on. I even liked the Kofi FIP spots and Rowan casually stepping on Woods’ chest.

113) Rusev vs. Zack Ryder (WWE Battleground, 7/24)
Felt like “just” a portfolio builder for Rusev, but a good one. Ryder is fine in these moments, and while we’ll now get more midcard wheel spinning from Rusev-Mojo, I’m actually fine with Rusev as your perennial king of the midcard, even if I think more could be done with him. But saying “more could be done with him” in WWE is like acknowledging that he lives and breathes.

51) Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn (WWE Battleground, 7/24)
I enjoyed how pro-Owens this crowd was. I don’t like either guy, but this was solid. Don’t know how legit the Zayn injury was, but that dive looked crazy and it’s a testament to them that it at least looked believable in the moment. Most indie-tastic finish in a while with all of the 2,9 finishers, but they were well done and the crowd loved it. The match peaked in its last two minutes, and the decisively finished the feud. Highlight of the match was the exchange of giant slaps to the face. It felt like their best match in the company together - way beyond the dull 4-way stuff with Miz and Cesaro - and probably the best match either guy’s had in WWE with anyone save Cena.

156) Becky Lynch vs. Natalya (WWE Battleground, 7/24)
Fine. (Probably honestly better than I’m giving it here, but seven minutes of control work felt like an intermission on this show, and I’m not one to say that of the women’s matches). But the real stories here are Dean Ambrose: Ironic Comedy Champion, Bryan’s fired-up promo, and Darren Young’s theme song being a series of grunted Bob Backlund expressions.

77) John Cena/Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. A.J. Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows (WWE Battleground, 7/24)
How weird is Cena’s life that he has to work this match, then fly to New York to host the Today Show to do summer reading segments with Savannah and Hota? Also: why are both of these trios being broken up? This feud could run six more months just by treading water on what they’re already doing. The promo work from Enzo and Cass feels so much like what actually gets over with casual fans, sells merch, etc. I’ll be curious to see if it works. Enzo’s flying DDT on Anderson was deranged. Lots of really good action throughout, even if Cena on the periphery felt weird. Not the best Cena/Club match by any means, but a solid way to continue their run and push it into Summerslam.

82) Dean Ambrose vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins (WWE Battleground, 7/24)
1) Foley looking the way he does and portraying an authority figure looks deranged to any new or casual fan. He's an Appalachian meth den bounty hunter at best and a headcase Christmas obsessive at worst. Oh wait, he is the worse thing. 2) Faces win!