[2000-05-13-IWA-MS] Corporal Robinson vs Madman Pondo (Light Tubes Lumberjack Death)

[soup23]

With our pre match promos, the MAW championship is now on the line. Fannin on commentary shoots on MAW and says Corporal was escorted out by his gay lover. Corp takes advantage in the early going but the lumberjack light tube stipulation is first used by Pondo. He then slams his signature stop sign against Corp’s head and smashes a light tube against his dick. Fannin on the time call says we are five minutes into the whipping of Corporal Robinson’s ass. Pondo does a spinning cutter that was actually executed decently for him. The match goes back and forth as a generic hardcore death match with tubes and spots being the main focal point. I will say I didn enjoy the lumberjack portion of this as it keeps the action in the ring which is unique. All of the MAW contingent slam a light tube in unison on Pondo. A minute after that, a huge fight breaks out with all of the lumberjacks all around ringside. Ian sets up a light tube table with salt that Pondo ends up going through. That spells the end of the match as Corp hits the Boot Camp for the victory. **1/2

[Tim Evans]

I don't remember many lumberjack matches with the lumberjacks having lighttubes. That makes this match alright as most of the action in ring was setting up tube spots. I don't get how the Light tube board with the salt works but it's a cool visual. I liked how there was so much glass in the ring the ref has to use a chair to count the 3 count.

[GSR]

Prior to this commencing, Pondo gets Corp to put his MAW title on the line, even though “it looks like a piece of shit with metal on!” This is a lumberjack match, where all the lumberjacks at ringside are carrying light tubes. A couple of lock ups sees neither man get an advantage, so Corp goes to the eyes and backs Pondo into the corner where a series of kicks to the stomach results in him crumpling to the canvas. He gets his lumberjacks to pass him some light tubes and a couple of chairs, and makes a Pondo sandwich between them. Slingshot legdrop onto the chairs (which were laid over Pondo’s head), but the light tubes don’t break so not the affect they were really looking for! A light tube over the head to try and compensate, before he digs the broken tube into his forehead. Headbutt to the groin by Pondo. He throws Corp out to ‘his side’ where the lumberjacks break a bunch of light tubes over his back. Robinson quickly returns to the ring and Pondo waffles him with a ‘stop’ sign. Spinning ‘Ace crusher’ through some light tubes that had been positioned between two chairs, and now he’s grinding shards of glass into Corp’s forehead. Corp fires back with a shot to the bread basket, and Pondo pretty much has to sit there while he arranges the furniture for their next spot; a top rope frankensteiner sending Pondo through a pile of light tubes on landing (which had been placed between those same chairs). Yup, after being on the receiving end of that, Pondo is the one who is back to his feet first! Someone hands him a light tube covered crutch but that doesn’t break when he uses it, only on the turnbuckle when he subsequently checks to see what’s going on! Pondo again throws him to the floor where the lumberjacks get in some more licks with those light tubes. A mirror makes it’s way into the ring and Corp breaks it over the Madman. He then throws Pondo out to his side and four of the lumberjacks simultaneously break a light tube over his head (which visually looks great). As Pondo is draped over the middle rope (they were attempting some sort of O’Connor roll spot), Blaze breaks a light tube over his head and all hell then breaks loose. Ian Rotten chases after Blaze, the lumberjacks starts fighting each other and we’ve another wild, crazy building wide brawl with fans scarpering and chairs going everywhere. It’s all a distraction though so that Ian and Jim Fannin can drag the light tube, barbed wire covered table to ringside for the final bump. The final bump is Corp and Blaze hitting a 3-D on Pondo through that contraption. ‘Boot camp’ in the ring and the official counts the three, slapping his hand on a chair due to all that glass which is covering the ring. Ox Harley saves Pondo from a post-match beating, which leads to Ian setting up Corp/Blaze vs Ox/Pondo in a falls count anywhere, fans bring the weapons match at the next show.

 

I will say that Pondo has cool entrance music (Smashing Pumpkins) and some sort of weird charisma, but it’s all downhill from the moment the bell rings. This was terrible (I was going to say ‘bad’, until I remembered that’s how I described Kickboxer/Suicide Kid and this was worse than that); lots of light tubes get broken, they take too long arranging the furniture and setting up spots (to the point it looks ridiculous the way the other person has to just sit there waiting), the actual wrestling is next to nothing and not very good, while the lack of selling was infuriating (I was dumbfounded to see Pondo back to his feet first after that top rope rana that put him through a pile of light tubes). Then seeing Ian forget brawling and going after Blaze so that he can go and move the table into position for the final bump... Garbage match, garbage wrestling.

[Moonsault Marvin]

This was supposed to be a lumberjack light bulb match, but their match psychology didn't make sense. Instead of teasing and building to the guy being thrown out of the ring to be assaulted by the lumberjacks, they brought the light bulbs into the ring early on, taking away all the impact of the stipulation. The spots took way too long to set up, and often the bulbs didn't break. I hate the way they cut the foreheads in these matches and the other guy doesn't even put his hands up to fight back at all. Other than the large pile of glass pieces left in the ring, this match didn't have much going for it.