[2006-12-03-WWE-ECW December to Dismember] Rob Van Dam vs CM Punk vs Test vs Hardcore Holly vs Big Show vs Bobby Lashley (Elimination Chamber)

[El-P]

Well, ok. The gimmick isn't bulletproof. This is a well known debacle.

 

RVD starts with Holly, who took the place of Sabu in a first tone deaf booking decision. No heat. Pretty poor work. They had a really good match on TV, this isn't it. RVD re-does a bunch of his spots from the first EC match in 2002, but Holly isn't over. Has this guy ever been over ? RVD should never do running clotheslines, they look Ultimate Warrior level bad.

 

CM Punk gets in and the crowd wakes up. They want him to win. Heyman did too, but that wasn't happening. He's the MVP of the match, turning it up a notch, doing the old Jerry Lynn double counter spot with RVD. That's the best and most heated the match will ever get.

Then Test gets it with a crowbar. Inside joke I guess. TBH, he's not that bad here and actually is quite the trooper taking some good bumps. No-one cares apart from Stacy Keibler. What else ? Not much. CM Punk is eliminated by RVD, to deflate the disapointment a bit I guess, which doesn't work. Crowd boos and dies. Holly's elimination gets all fucked up by the ref. More boos. RVD gets eliminated by Test after an insane elbow from the cell onto a chair on his face, which looked like Concussion City. Crowd boos even more. How tone deaf can you get ? Now Test is by himself, alone, and no one gives a fuck about anyone.

 

"Bullshit" and "Where's our refund ?" chants. Then Lashley can't get out because of Heyman's security. Yawn. Finally he uses the table inside the cell (well, weapons because it's EXTREME) to break the linked chain above. Looked crappy. Ok, so Test now bumps into the plastic like a maniac. Test goes away. MORE DEAD TIME.

 

The final part with Lashley & Big Show, who was fat as fuck and coming off a godawful stint as ECW champ, was actually ok thanks to Lashley being a freak athlete hoss. Show sucked, and not just the wind, but it was watchable. Lashley winning actually got a pop. Mercy killing, really.

 

Well. Terrible match, terrible, terrible tone deaf booking on all front. CM punk was the only real good worker. Test was a trooper. RVD and Show pretty much sucked despite doing some crazy stunts (including Show going through the plastic, which was expected and had not happened on the last EC match). Lashley was at least fun as a green-as-grass Batista-like jacked up hoss with no charisma but freakish athleticism.

 

Yeah, finally, the Elimination Chambers gimmick layed an egg. Awful booking can kill anything.