[2019-01-06-Impact-Homecoming] Johnny Impact vs Brian Cage

[Superstar Sleeze]

Impact World Heavyweight Champion Johnny Impact vs Brian Cage - Impact Homecoming 2019

Brian Cage scooting his ass in the middle of the ring to get in position for a Shining Wizard only to duck to get into the next move IS everything wrong with professional wrestling in the 21st Century. There is a great story about the GOAT, Eddie Van Halen and when he came in to do the solo on "Beat It". He did not just come in and shred. He listening to the song, to the rhythm section. He said if we change the bridge to my solo, I can do this, it will sound better. He took the time to create an organic transition so that his solo would have the most impact. Pro wrestlers SHOULD NOT be moving to get in position for the next spot, the next spot should be done because thats where the fucking pro wrestler is. If you want to get to a specific spot think 2 to 3 moves ahead, play that game of human chess and make it happen. I dont want to see 280lbs, jacked to the gills Brian Cage scooting around like he is a dog wiping his ass after a shit. 

I am not one for one spot to mar the entire match for me, but I needed to get that off my chest. I should say that Brian Cage is not the only guilty party, pretty much every wrestler in the 2010s is guilty of that shit and it sucks. A lot of wrestlers lament that when the fans stopped believing in kayfabe that wrestling went downhill. I say it was when the wrestlers stopped believing in kayfabe that wrestling shit the bed. 

I thought the middle stretch of this match sucked out loud. Both guys looked like they were blowed up. It was slow, clunky and dawdling. Neither man seemed to have a clear strategy what they were trying to do. There is this utterly bizarre stretch where Cage roars back and hits a German only for Johnny Impact to hit two Moonlight Drives with zero transition. It was terrible. That German Suplex in the ropes was a farce and even Don Callis had to call it out, but Cage took the Snap Back Bump anyways. Before you know it is Cage with an F-5, in fairness they did at least set that up with a failed attempt at Starship Pain. Before you know it Morrison is back at it. There was no flow. There were long stretches of down time. They were just throwing shit out there. 

I did like the beginning and I actually had high hopes for the beginning based on the start of the match. I really do enjoy Johnny Impact as a wrestler even if this was a pretty bad performance from him. I liked how he used his evasiveness and feigned strikes to set up big offense against Cage vs Cage's raw power. It was a clever story. It was not power vs speed per se, but Morrison was actually playing the mental game well. That's not something you see to often. The heat segment at the beginning that starts with Cage's sad attempt at a Backlund lift. Can I take a second put over how fucking strong Bob Backlund is? All these boydbuilders show you they do not have the pure strength of The Man Bob Backlund baby, a power wrestler's wrestler. Love you, Bob!  The Backlund lift ends pitifully into the buckles. The rest of the heat segment was great. Loved the dual Tilt-a-Whirl backbreakers and the two monkey flips were awesome! So damn good! Somewhere in there I think it was between the Backlund lift and the Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker was the Spot of the Match. Cage single legs Morrison while he is on the ropes. Morrison's head hits the top turnbuckle and he SNAPS into a front belly flop on the mat. AWESOME DOUBLE BUMP! Gnarly! Loved that! I liked the move to transition back to Morrison. Morrison hits this insane somersault, corkscrew knee thing off the top onto the floor that looked awesome. Seriously first 5 minutes of this was killer. 

The middle was atrocious. The finish was not too much better. They wake me up from my nap when Cage does not even take a one count after a Super Spanish Fly. He HULKS UP! Finally some personality, some testosterone and SOME URGENCY! HELL YEAH! CAGE OBLITERATES MORRISON WITH THREE BRUTAL POWERBOMBS! HELL YEAH! Weapon X is a fucking shitty 21st Century Wrestling Move, BUT AT LEAST IT IS A BIG BOMB! BOMBS AWAY! Terrible transition to Cage going to the floor, a weak Morrison superkick that makes no sense. Morrison's Survivor Castmates are here. Cage gets involved with them. He shoves one. He hits the Drillclaw in the ring but the ref is fiddlefucking with the Survivor fans. Homecoming is Impact Wrestling going back to the Asylum in Nashville. Welp, this is a very TNA finish. The ref makes his way back in for two. Cage goes for the Cesaro suplex from the middle rope and Impact fucks up the counter, who knows and it is three. 

First five minutes is really good, Cage's Hulk Up is amazing, the middle is shit and the finish is drizzling shits. I get it you need to protect Cage, but it felt like the climax of the match was Cage/Survivor Dudes/2 count. Impact's win just had to exist to get them to the rematch and it was totally tacked on. That's what I mean. Where was the thought put into this? Incredibly disappointing, these two should have had a way better match.