Superstar Sleeze

WWE Champion John Cena vs Chris Jericho - WWE RAW 8/22/05 Loser Leaves Town The night after Summerslam where Cena defeated Jericho. I thought they got the most out of Jericho before he left. He was a great first challenger for Cena. High level upper midcard, low main eventer that can take the losses, is leaving anyways. The only issue is that the heel turn was rushed and he was very popular. This began the issues for Cena with crowd reactions which was seen more the night before at Summerslam but existed here as well. They would continue to be exacerbated by Kurt Angle being very over and HHH's promo saying Cena Cant Wrestle. The problem was that the 90s/turn of the Millennium guys were still very over but Vince was correct in that it was time to make new stars with Cena, Batista and Orton. Being a teenager at this time that was too cool for school I rejected Cena because everything I read said he cant wrestle. Thats hogawash he was a great wrestler in 2005. However, I am partially vindicated because as I have bee watching these hype videos he is so off-putting on the mic. He is doing some sort of weird hybrid Mark Walhberg/Adam Sandler/Southern high pitched accent that is terrible. He is just deep unlikeable from a promo/character perspective. I would fall in love with Never Give Up/Rise Above Hate Cena, but Ruck Fules/Chain Gang Cena sucks. As for the match, I liked this better than Summerslam. In essence it is a very similar match, Jericho works a cutoff-heavy match. He gives Cena a lot of hope spots and cuts him off with dropkicks, spin heel kick etc. I really liked the missed Cena Cross Body from the top rope. I will give Jericho credit that he does work as a heel, it is a lot of choking, shin on the throat jawing at the ref, grinding offense, clawing at him. It is nothing flashy. I do think it is solid work, but not extraordinary work. He doesnt elevate, but what helps him relative to Summerslam is the presence of Eric Bischoff on the outside. Bischoff tripping Cena, and the ballshot really gives the Jericho act that extra boost. Cena's comeback offense looked great that Meat Hook Clothesline I wish they kept that in his comeback sequence. Interesting no Five Knuckle Shuffle either night. They mirror the Summerslam Finish but turn into the Walls of Jericho, classic Jericho playing off the previous match. Cena's sell of the Walls and how he has to fight so hard to get the FU was the best part of the match. Of course he FUs him too close to the ropes and Bischoff puts Jericho's foot on the ropes. Great stuff. The only thing that bothered me about the match was that Bischoff gave Cena knuckledusters and they did KO spot and Cena kicked out. Like a ballshot, I feel like you need to respect that. Thats they type of shit that fueled Super Cena. I think swing and miss with the Knux, shove Jericho into Bischoff on the apron, FU would have been cleaner and more impactful. We get the kick out and then they do that sequence except they add the title belt in Bischoff's hands so Jericho's head collide with the belt for protection. FU 1-2-3! I remember the dirt sheets were all over Jericho's departure so I wasnt surprised but I was disappointed. I was a huge Jericholic at the time. I am going to skip the Angle feud because I watched No Way Out 2005 match and that considered their best match. I remember this is when the cracks really started to show with Cena so they did a bunch of weird shit like Davari to get Angle over as a heel and none of that gets good reviews. I liked this more than Summerslam but it is in the very good camp, not a must watch. OH! Jericho does a great job milking and selling being thrown out of RAW. Really great chickenshit heel stuff. *** 1/2

WWE Champion John Cena vs Chris Jericho - WWE Summerslam 2005 I thought this would be an interesting match to see how it was worked and I was right. Jericho was clearly the Ring general and really show his poor Wrestling IQ. He has no idea on how to define roles within a match or how to build a match. But what made it nonsensical is why it was so interesting. Jericho the smaller man wrestled King Sized. He was cutting Cena off at every turn. Perhaps you claim this was a veteran vs young look story but that was not the story they were telling either. It wasn’t like Cena was proving himself to Jericho. It is just Jericho kept cutting him off with dropkicks. There was no real story or something to sink your teeth into. Eventually the worked a heat segment breakdown long enough for the crowd to do the famous dueling chants. If it is not the first, it is one of the first instances of the 50/50 Cena reaction, this is not the classic Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks because Jericho is over But it would devolve into that as the show became more about Cena and the opponents were less important. Fuck forgot to finish this review because work got crazy. Ogre Cena was on full display here. Meat hook clotheslines looked great and loved the tackle. Jericho wrestled a cutoff match with dropkicks but it just felt weird. I liked Cena’s missed shoulder tackle. I did like the finisher teasers Lionsault, Walls and FU. Finally the aforementioned breakdown let the crowd get into it. Cena Comeback Bur so much rawer and hard hitting than 2010s Cena. They shoehorn the Walls on here. They do a bit of swing dancing into the FU. Ill go *** I didn’t get this Summerslam as kid me and my brother were far more into HBK/Hogan which rightfully main eventes this show. Again this felt more like an IC Title match not a main event world title match.

WWE Champion John Cena vs Chris Jericho vs Christian - WWE Vengeance 2005 I remember this feud vividly from my teenage years. The Internet was strongly behind Christian and was pretty annoyed when Jericho was shoehorned in there for star power as Jericho had to rapidly turn heel. I think they would have been better off keeping Jericho babyface here turning him heel because he lost here to set up the mega match at Summerslam and ultimately Jericho leaving. Jericho was a perfect first opponent for Cena in a Mick Foley vein. Strong upper midcarder who can absorb losses easily and with him leaving it just made a lot of sense. Christian had some heat in 2004/05 but after this feud fizzled out and had to go to TNA. The cracks in Cena were forming in 2004 and would be blown wide open by late 2005. I think they thought could salvage it still so that’s why they rushed the Jericho turn to prevent Jericho for getting more cheers than Cena. I normally skip Triple Threats but this one stuck in my craw. Looking back on being 16, I think this was a program I was interested in and I was interested to see how Christian would work with the big boys. I will echo what OJ said in his review rather everyone wrestling up to WWE Title level this was wrestled down to IC Title or Midcard Title Triple Threat. HHH/Batista feels like a titanic clash befitting a world title main event. This felt like a fun micard opener. With both Jericho and Christian being heel most of the match is a Cena/Jericho and a Cena/Christian mini-match. Tomko, havent thought about him in a minute, interferes with both Cena and Jericho and gets tossed. The spot of the match is early as Cena FUs Christian over the top rope to the floor in a GNARLY spot. Cena/Jericho tussle that ends with a wicked DDT by Cena on Jericho on the floor. The match is structured to make Cena look great as they needed to cement him coming off Mania. Cena in 2005 is so raw. These Meathook Clotheslines are sick. I loved them. I want to see a video of Cena throwing a baseball or a football because I believe it would be awkward as shit because he can’t get his arm over his head for either his punches or clotheslines. Everything looks like a Meathook. He wrestled like a fucking ogre. His Shouldertackle just steamrolls Christian as opposed to the most graceful version of the 2010s. They do a fun spot where he drop toeholds one into Headbutting the other. Ten Knuckle Shuffle that was cute! Christian’s big move is a slop drop. Weak. Jericho gets a couples attempts at the Walls of Jericho but it is not like he had a lot of offense either. Christian goes for the Unprettier on Jericho never liked that move, but Jericho shoves him into waiting arms of Cena who clubs Jericho with Christian’s feet. FU 1-2-3! FU on the floor, Cena’s ogre offense and a couple cute shuffles that make this good but not much more than that. ***

Kurt Angle vs Marty Jannetty - Smackdown 3/17/05 ”Marty Jannetty is still Cant walk! Im just a Sexy Kurt! Sexy Kurt! I make your ankle hurt! Ankle Hurt!” I often say there was nothing nostalgic about my teenage years But digging into this stuff again I do have some fond memories and Sexy Kurt is still something me and my brother bring up. The good shit. This is a great build to the Angle/Shawn match and in the video package they show the Rockers reunion on RAW which I totally forgot about. This is a great example of Kurt Angle as an effective Ring general. He guzzles Marty on the mat and presents a clear contrast to Marty‘s feed. He is constantly feeding spots to make Marty look good. He is letting Marty bring the uptempo rhythm and pop the crowd and this crowd definitely was popping for Marty fucking hip tosses were getting pops like it was 1988 BABY! Angle would ground him again and we do it all over again. It was the perfect “You still got it” match. During the break Angle shoved Marty into the post. He was clinical in the dissection of the back. Good variety of throws and holds. The arm drag out of the Angle Slam popped off the page because of the story they were telling. Marty gets a DDT and we get the big rah rah sis boom bah grand finale from Marty. Spinning heel kick looked great. Crossbody roll through after that they timed near falls so well that you thought Marty had a chance. Angle lock fake out to get the real one on the Rocker Dropper was the cherry on the Sundae. Perfect TV match to get everyone over. I miss these kind of matches *** 1/2

WWE Champion JBL vs Big Show - WWE No Way Out 2005 Barbed Wire Steel Cage I dont know this match intrigued me I think it is an above average match but I don’t necessarily think you need to go out of your way to see it. JBL is on a Honky Tonk run of a lifetime. Having two world titles allowed them to experiment with shit like this that they never would have had they kept only one title. My brother and I always remark we were at the last Smackdown that Bradshaw was APA Bradshaw as a joke. JBL totally over delivered he went from a random what the fuck he’s getting pushed to winning me and my brother over. Great gimmick, great promo but honestly never watched back anything outside the famous bloodbaths against Eddie and Cena. In my research, Big Show has a pretty nonexistent 2005 was he injured he has this and the WrestleMania showcase against Akebono then doesnt pop up again until the end of the year. I’ll have to check his Cagematch, I wanted a Watts slobberknocker and sort of half got it. Both dudes lay their shit in. Bradshaw has some great offense. The comparisons to Hansen would have doomed him in Japan but he was probably better suited for Japan. He surprisingly doesnt really stooge or chickenshit sell for Big Show. The whole gimmick outside the ring is he is a chickenshit and the Barbed Wire Steel Cage means his jabronis Orlando Jordan and Bashams Cant bail him out. Yet he never really sells fear. He would get an opening and search for an opening in the Barbed Wire did this three times. Maybe the camera work was bad but he wasn’t selling it. Big Show and him were hitting hard Bur still something was missing. Man looking back on it 2005 WWE was FUCKING VIOLENT! It was nonstop blood. Show was bleeding profusely after a cage shot. I thought Show transition was weak though a nice Powerbomb. Cabinet smells defeat bum rushes the Ring and is able to get a pair of wire cutters to JBL before Teddy Long tells them to get to steppin. Bradshaw clocks Show with the wire cutters CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! It is a fucking good one. For two! Big Show Chokeslam for two! Like hitting bombs back to back there. JBL low blow. He gets the Cutters so he is going to try to clip his way out. THEY TRADE ABSOLUTE BOMBS ON THE TOP ROPE! STIFF STIFF SHOTS! CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE MUTAFUCKIN RING! What a spot no one talks about. Big Show snaps the chain off the door. I know JBL wins but how?!? They shoot the camera shot in such a way you know something’s up. The announcer declares JBL the winner as WTF and you see JBL crawled under the Ring to win which is a clever finish for the chickenshit escape artist to escape with the title again. Batista and Cena take turns beating JBL…Cole says it could be a Triple Threat I groaned fuck no audibly out loud out of reflex even though I know that didn’t happen. The Chokeslam spot is INSANE! They are lucky they didn’t accidentally fall through that. How is that not more famous? February title match is a lame duck title defense and the finish kinda washes it out but damn I am surprised Thats not up there with Show and Lesnar breaking the Ring. The shots were stiff, big power moves, INSANE high spot but still this leaves me wanting more. I wanted more character work from both more fire from Big Show and more chickenshit from JBL. Very good but you can really just watch the clip of the Chokeslam and call if a day. *** 1/2

Kurt Angle vs John Cena - WWE No Way Out 2005 Shockingly good. They both played to their characters perfectly. This shows the beauty of respecting the strengths and weaknesses of each wrestler. If every wrestler is just the all around best and can do everything everyone else can do it is fucking boring as shit. These two stayed in their respective lanes and a kickass match was born out of it. Winner goes to WrestleMania to face JBL for the title. Simple story But effective Angle is going to have his way on the mat and Cena will be outwrestled. Cena needs to use his power and heart to turn this into a street fight. A lot of times in Angle matches he loses his way and gets highspot happy But he stuck to the script and kept this straight wrestling and Cena was forced to react. I love how Angle took control with some cool takedowns and established the mountain Cena had to scale. Cena blasts Angle with one his ugly clotheslines and tackles him on the outside over the announce table. Cena is going to have to win ugly. German Suplex to the buckles was such a meaningful momentum shift away from Cena and put over Angle’s throws can happen from well any angle. Now they have established both strategies they can let them cook. Angle works holds and in & out of holds is throwing suplexes. Eventually Cena bulldozes Angle with a Shoulder Tackle. This is before the Cena Formula was set and this shoulder tackle looked brutal. Couple meat hook clotheslines. Cena was sticking to the power game and wrestling ugly. He is all heart and brawn. Angle has the mind and the science. I liked Angle trying to get finishers but thwarted. Great organic setup for the top rope leg drop from Cena with Angle trying to get back in the Ring after the Anglelock counter. It really came off like Cena pulling out all the stops to get to WrestleMania. I was surprised he hit the FU and only got two as I thought that would have been protected by a rope break or something. I loved Angle’s reaction. He absorbed Cena’s biggest blow and just went berserk picking a part the leg. He was playing with his food now play time is over because he almost tasted defeat. I loved urgency and desperation. Great leg work and selling. Angle Slam into Angle lock. Great drama here. Angle refuses to let go of the and knocks the ref out. He gets Cena’s chain But Cena cuts him off at the pass and hits a FU for three. I thought finish was a little weak especially after the earlier kick out. I think Chain + FU would have been sick like if there was a way to get Angle to punch himself with the Chain. Cena wrestler this like the biggest match of his life because it was. It was his opportunity to get to WrestleMania and I loved how he poured his heart for this one. The wrestler vs street fighter story really rocked. They established each strategy early. Each man got a segment to execute and show off their strategy. Then Angle said fuck this and went to town only to deviate from the game plan and lose. With a better finish this could have been a classic going to go **** but I wouldn’t bat an eye if someone went higher. Early Cena was so raw and unpolished so gripping to watch.

Kurt Angle vs Rey Mysterio - Smackdown 2/10/05 This is a part of a tournament to determine the #1 Contender for JBL’s title for WrestleMania I believe this is a quarterfinal match. This takes place in Japan which might explain the slower pace and more wrestling from Angle. These two have freaky chemistry with each other. This is not their best match together But I really watching these two together and I would say Rey is Angle’s best opponent. He brings out that bully jock heel side to Angle. Angle is just guzzling him early. Taking him down at will just having his way with Rey. Rey tries to get things going Angle mows him down with a shoulder tackle or a knee lift. He is more powerful and he really shows off his wrestling. So he creates that mountain for Rey to scale. Rey does finally get Angle off balance with a Rana and in the scramble drop toe hold into the ropes but Angle evades the 619 I loved that spot. Showed Rey needs to keep Angle off balance and go for his kill shot. They play over and over again that when Angle deviates from the game plan of manhandling Rey by running Rey makes him pay like the roll through on sunset flip into a dropkick, sending Angle over top rope hitting a dive and the missed charge that leads to Rey’s comeback. Angle for his part stuffs any Rey momentum with great suplexes and even works the back pretty well. Surprisingly I thought Angle outworked Rey. Angle was working smarter and playing better to his character. I thought Rey was being lazy. Always using elbows to get out of holds so banal. Using Irish Whips when could be creative how to get things into motion but angle did usually make him pay. The Rey uptempo finish stretch is always fun. Lots of high spots and attempts at the 619. I liked Angle made him earn catching the first 619 into an Anglelock. Going for the Angle Slam but getting arm dragged. Thats the the narrative of their matches cat and mouse. In this match, Kurt finally catches Rey BANG Angle Slam and I love how he urgently gets into Anglelock and sits down into the grapevine for the win. Brilliant stuff from Angle wish Rey was a bit more creative But these are two are so fun together very good cat and mouse match *** 3/4

Ric Flair vs Kurt Angle - WWE RAW 6/27/05 Oh my Fucking God this was incredible. Ric Flair wrestles like the craziest dirty old man you’d ever see. He was absolutely FERAL! Fuck the haters 05/06 adds to the case doesnt detract. This comes after the famous Woo Off Promo which I remember fondly watching live as a teenager, so I definitely saw this match but don’t remember it. This is start of Flair on his own as HHH lost for the third and final time to Batista the night before. Flair got one last push winning the IC Title and feuding with HHH and Edge. My issue with Angle has always been between the ropes; I always found to be a funny. Entertaining guy outside the ring. This match works so well because Angle wrestles it so straight and Flair wrestles like a crazy old bastard. Angle wants to work holds & throws and fucking Flair is trying to yank out molars and pluck eyeballs. Flair takes two big bumps on the floor off an over head Belly 2 Belly and a back drop. A Superplex gets fucked up but turns into a gnarlier bump. Flair bites out of an STF and TESTICULAR CLAW on the Anglelock. A Carlos Colon Low Blow! This is so good! Flair rattles off some amazing offense delayed Vertical, works the leg, FIGURE-4! On the Kneecrusher Angle turns it into Angelock For the win. I have been enjoying Ultraviolent Old Man Flair But this was even better because it played into the Dirtiest Player in the Game but it was so FERAL! I LOVED IT! **** 1/4

Ric Flair Vs Triple H - Survivor Series 2005 Last Man Standing It is funny starting in 2014 with WWE Network I never thought finding pro wrestling would be tough but with all these switches to the library and I don’t have Netflix I am reliant on all the old methods I used as a teenager. What is old is new again. Ric Flair’s Intercontinental Title is not on the line which telegraphs the finish even as a teenager it was obvious to me that meant HHH would win. HHH didnt embrace being a nostalgia act until Summer of 2006 when he reunited DX. So he was still rebuilding himself to do the job to Cena at Mania 22. I am surprised I had never seen this match before as I know I have watched the Taboo Tuesday match a couple times. Old Man Flair sucking is pretty overblown. He is very good in this and has been in all the 2005/06 matches I have watched so far. This match is Wile E Coyote vs Roadrunner with HHH playing the role of Coyote and Flair being the Roadrunner. HHH being younger, stronger and faster than Flair should steam roll him But he keeps trying this complicated and elaborate schemes to maim Flair which keeps giving Flair openings. HHH gets a chair; Flair cracks him with a Kendo Stick. He talks smack; Flair Testicular Claw. HHH Pedigree on the Announce Table; Back body drop. Had a chair in his hands laid down to Pedigree onto the Chair; Flair Low Blow. This led to the only meaningful control segment but we will get back to it. HHH Ring steps smashes Flair goes for the charge; Flair drop toehold. I really enjoyed this narrative. Flair bleeding buckets and the violence really add to it all. Flair had some great chops and punches. He very rarely played such an underdog babyface even against Vader he was still The Man. Here he is fighting for his life. He really sold the desperation. He easily had the best stretch of the match smashing HHH’s nuts into the post. Working the legs against the Ring post the chop blocks, the desperation biting. He was feral. The Figure-4 was a great spot. They could have done a lot more with HHH not being able to stand in a Last Man Standing Match but they basically just went into the finish. It was the Ring steps. Then the Flash Pedigree which was great. Loved the Middle Finger by Flair after two more. The Sledgehammer you know it was coming but that was lame finish. Flash Pedigree, Second One, Flair Middle Finger, Pedigree on the Chair would have the ruled. The one thing I didn’t mention but really put over the violence was the Screwdriver by HHH to Flair‘s open wound. 2005/2006 WWE was ultra violent. Maybe the most violent stretch in WWE. What hurt this match the most is HHH. Man he is just so soulless. Mechanically everything is fine. His offense was tight and he sold well but man he has no heart, spirit to his work. Easily great but could have been a classic with a better HHH performance. ****

Ric Flair vs Mick Foley - Summerslam 2006 I Quit I attended this match live in Boston headed into my senior year of high school and I remember thinking it was so violent it was unsettling. Finally watching it back and this is one of the most violent WWE matches of all time. I should have promoted Old Man Flair as Death Match Flair maybe he would have kept #1 spot for GWE. Flair’s punches are unreal in this match. They look so damn good. He has always had a good punch but damn. I didn’t love how the match started but after the Testicular Claw after the first Mr Socko this was gold. Chopping Foley with a Barbed Wire Mr Socko ruled. The 2006 weapon of choice the Barbed Wire rears its ugly head. Flair taps a gusher. His TLC Match against Edge was another level of blood but this was a lot. The thumb tacks and barbed wire bat. Loved telling Foley kiss my ass on the mic. The Ol Carlos Colon Ball shot and then goes wild with the Barbed Wire Bat! No one does unhinged like the Nature Boy. Sickening Nestea Plunge. The trainer tries to call off the match but Flair gets the line of the decade in with “This is not a lay on your ass match, this is an I Quit Match”. He goes for the eyes with the Barbed Wire Bat. I thought it was weird in 2006 and it is even weirder now is the whole Foley/Melina angle friendship, romance, perversion who knows? Melina throws in the towel and verbal says I Quit but Thats not good enough. When it looks like Flair was going to take the Barbed Wire Baseball Bat to Melina only then did Foley say I Quit. You always book yourself into a corner with an I Quit match unless it is a smarmy chicken shit heel like Tully or MJF who can survive or in fact thrive by saying those words. Flair and Foley are far too proud to say them thus the clusterfuck finish. It was better off being a Street Fight or Last Man Standing. The Melina shit was weird and I am pretty sure Foley just leaves. 2006 was a weird booking year in general. The feud felt random then And didnt really belong or advance the company forward But it was a helluva match. Another awesome 2006 Flair performance! The finish holds back from a full 4, *** 3/4

WWE Champion Edge vs Ric Flair - RAW 1/17/06 TLC Match Fuck the haters Old Man Flair Rules! I loved this match when I was a teenager I was shocked I hadn’t reviewed it which means I haven’t watched it in 20 years but man it still rocks. I never saw Edge’s Cash-In. I must have seen the highlights on RAW but watching it back with Vince introducing it and telling people not to leave gave it a bigger feel than the rinky dink run out but pull back at the last second bullshit. I was surprised they didn’t give Cena a hope spot. It was a couple Edge spears. This was Peak Edge. This is when he felt his hottest and biggest. The Cash-In is literally the only time I remember wrestling discussed in High School during class. The TLC match with Flair and the Live Sex Celebration with Lita are some of the most memorable moments of the era. Lita added so much to his act. I know they tried to duplicate it with Vickie but just didn’t work. It is too bad she didn’t stick around because they were on fire together. Teenage Marty Sleeze definitely loved him some Lita outfits back in the day, some real iconic ones. The match is a grueling hardcore brawl which focuses on violence without too much feng Shui. Flair’s Chops looked amazing. They ramped up the violence well from the back drop and suplex on the floor to a sick chair shot busting Flair open to the Edge splash from the ladder in the Ring through the table on the floor. Looked fucking awesome! Flair adapted to the environment dished out some violence but was just taking nutty bumps like a Superplex from ladder. The two hope spots were awesome! Tipping Edge off the ladder through a table on the outside always looks sick. The Figure-4 on Lita was a great spot and she sold it so well. Edge gets back up and wins the match But what a great fight. Spear! Cena saves Flair from another Conchairto. Cena ricochets the chair into his own head. This being in Flair Country with the Future Charlotte screaming really adds to the match. Old Garbage Man Flair rules! All Hail The GOAT! *** 3/4

Rob Van Dam vs Hardcore Holly - ECW 9/26/06 I am like 99% sure I watched this live as I gave up on ECW by the end of the year. Otherwise I would have seen the replay a million times elsewhere because this match is famous for the nasty gash on Holly’s back after he suplexes RVD from the apron through a table. Very famous spot. Before the table spot, I was pretty disappointed by the match. Very stilted both guys waiting a beat too long. Shit I expect out of today’s kids not 90s veterans. I liked that each opportunity for Holly was from RVD showboating or setting up the table. I always feel like Holly is someone I like because he is no-nonsense but he does NOT wrestle no-nonsense, smash mouth he is just blasé. After the table spot the open wound definitely adds to the match and as far as RVD’s Carrot Top Prop Wrestling goes the steel chairs were pretty done. Holly hits a couple nasty spots dropping throat first on an unfolded chair and then a leg drop on the chair. RVD gets on a suplex on chair right on the wound. So that really had to hurt. The Chair Throw block of the Five Star Frogsplash was sick. A really great Van Daminator! Five Star Frogsplash ends it. It is a weird matvh to rate because the beginning suck and the rest was prop high spots that were exciting but empty then everything gets amplified by the insane gash. That was pretty hardcore so only be generous and say *** 1/2

Mick Foley, Edge & Lita vs Terry Funk, Tommy Dreamer & Beulah - ECW One Night Stand 2006 Mick Foley’s pre match promo is pretty funny saying he loved ECW under Stephanie McMahon and Long Love The Alliance. It doesn’t get as much as heat as you expect probably because it was actually funny. Beulah comes out to challenge for a 6-Person tag. Honestly you can JIP to the Barbed Wire Board I didn’t really think there was anything special in the beginning maybe some Terry Funk nostalgia spots. They suplex the barbed wire board onto Dreamer and business picks up. Foley eats it worse on a Funk trip. I thought Edge would at least blade. Foley gets revenge on Terry Funk who gave him a black eye by cutting him open near the eye. This leads to the call back to the famous Lawler match and the match is cooking now. Funk gets carried to the back. Customary Dreamer Testicular Punishment with Lita leg dropping a barbed wire baseball bat onto his nuts. Edge gets his sexual harassment with Beulah in an abdominal stretch. This was peak Edge as a character. The act with Lita was so good. They were such a good sleaze act. It is when he felt most main event. Terry Funk makes his triumphant return with a barbed wire 2x4 which gets lit on fire by Beulah! He attacks Foley with it who takes a nasty bump into the barbed wire board. Then Funk gets sent careening onto the board with Foley. We get the CATFIGHT~! Dreamer has his little run hitting DVD on Lita and the Barbed Wire Crossface on Edge. Edge uses the Barbed Wire across for what I think is Edgecution. Spear to Beulah with sexually suggestive pin for extra sleaze heat. They have to cut Funk out of the barbed wire in a cool visual. The match takes a bit to get going but there’s a lot to love once the Barbed Wire gets going. Everyone plays their characters well Funk and surprisingly Edge are stand outs on the match. A good garbage match enhanced by the character work of everyone. ****

WWE Champion John Cena vs Rob Van Dam - ECW One Night Stand 2006 This is probably one of the most famous matches I have never seen. It should be even more famous because of excellent it is. The hostile crowd is a major selling point and the atmosphere totally delivers as expected. The throwing the shirt into the crowd and back into the ring was spectacular. The heat is off the charts! "If Cena Wins, We Riot" sign is iconic. But it is telling. It is NOT "If RVD Loses, We Riot". It is all about Cena. You could have sent out pretty much any ECW wrestler, Sandman, Dreamer, Sabu etc... and you would get the same reaction, but the match and the atmosphere hinge on Cena. John Cena is the draw. However, this match is a lot more than just great atmosphere it is an awesome match as well worked perfectly for this crowd. This is in my Fave Five of John Cena individual performances. He works the match like a heel perfectly. He adjusts so well. The more Cena I have watched the more it annoys me how quickly he goes into heat ala 90s Savage. Now he has a better extended comeback than 90s Savage, but still a little shine never killed anyone. This match he works the whole thing full on heel and the timing of his cutoffs is pitch perfect. He works the crowd into a lather brilliantly responding to each chant so wisely. "You cant wrestle"...Cradle Suplex. "Same Old Shit"...Top Rope Sledge to the floor. Even the fuck up in the match works because it gives the ravenous ECW crowd a chance to chant "You fucked up" at the Corporate Stooge/Icon. The whole match Cena wrestles with such great purpose. Every punch as oomph. Every time RVD looks like he is going to get something going like the mule kick or a dive, Cena has an answer. He is wrestling with ice water in his veins but at the same time he is visibly bristled by the reaction. It is a cool, seething anger. The type of anger that can be controlled and unleashed to devastating effects on your opponent. I loved the shove of the railing into the crowd and punching RVD with a Fuck You Cena sign. RVD eventually has to do something in the grand scheme of RVD Carrot Top bullshit it is not that annoying. Some spinning leg drops. I do like Rolling Thunder on the chair. What is more important than what RVD did is what it led to it was his first significant combination of moves that led to Cena putting the chair on top of himself to block the Split Legged Moonsault. Genius. Throwing the ECW bullshit back in their faces. RVD is all time great eater of DDTs but even better than that was the catapult through the chair. That was gnarly! I am sad we didnt get the Shoulder Blocks, but we do get the Protobomb and a great Five Knuckle Shuffle really soaking in the atmosphere. RVD Carrot Top Prop Comedy starts with the table, but Cena makes him pay with STFU for taking his eye off the prize. Another Brilliant Cutoff! Rope break and the ECW REF ENFORCES IT! Which smacks of hypocrisy and leads to Cena SLUGGING THE ECW REF! WHAT A GREAT SPOT! Cena the Corporate Golden Boy snaps and does the most anti-authority thing only leading to the Anti-Authority crowd still booing him. The beauty of tribalism in pro wrestling (in sucks in the real world). Cena shows off his otherworldly strength by smashing the ring steps into RVD and Nick Patrick counts 2. FU TO THE FLOOR! Which was a great spot looked violent but protected the move as there was no pinfall. A Mystery Man cough Edge cough spears Cena through the table RVD set up. Thank You Edge chants. This crowd is consistent in just one thing their hatred for Cena. They would sell their anti-authority souls to keep on hating Cena. Five Star Frogsplash! No ref so Paul Heyman comes out and counts the pin and the crowd pop is like an 8, when you think it should be an 11. I do think the finish was a little too WWE. I get that ultimately ECW was being spun off and that Cena/Edge was the big feud for the Summer of 06, BUT I thought the finish threw some water on the fire when there was whole lot of fire. This is such an anti-RVD match and it is so much better for it. They worked a Cena match through and through except Cena was a heel working a PERFECT pace. His timing was so good. Each cutoff was just sublime. They didnt let RVD do any of his stupid shit. He did enough selling and bumping to make the match work. He threw in a couple signature spots (I was surprised there was not Van Daminator). The match is a testament to Cena's wrestling IQ and really should be remembered as a classic in the canon. Cena Rules! **** 1/4

Dudley Boyz vs Sandman & Tommy Dreamer - ECW One Night Stand “They believe because he [The Sandman] believes” -Mick Foley explaining Kayfabe in 5 words. It was never about the fans believing in Kayfabe or the whole thing was real or not. It is the wrestlers that have to believe in Kayfabe and everything else follows. It was when the wrestlers stop believing in Kayfabe that whole thing falls apart. My ECW knowledge peaks in 1995 decreases each subsequent year so I know these teams have history But I haven’t seen it. I assume RVD must have been injured because he is not on the card or any of the hijinx. So of those available to them this was the biggest possible main event. Heyman’s line that JBL was only champion because HHH didn’t want to work Tuesday was funny and Bradshaw’s reaction was even better. I wish I got the version with the real songs as Sandman’s entrance was epic you could tell by the fans reactions but I needed the real Metallica. BWO bit was good they needed to be on the card. Surprised Kid Kash was there but of course you needed Balls and Axl Rotten! The match itself there was not much to it. Lots of blood some sick chair shots and cookie sheet shots. It was more of a Dreamer match than Sandman match which bummed me out because I prefer Sandman by a lot, Impact Players come out. So we get the Francine / Beulah cat fight! Joey Styles is atrocious. Dreamer & Beulah DDTs on the Dudleyz. We get the 3-D. Spike Dudley comes out to light the table on FIRE which always looks cool and they put it out with Dreamer’s body. Sick finish. Stone Cold comes out and the Hammerstein EXPLODES~! The whole show the RAW & Smackdown heels Lee by Bischoff and JBL respectively have been watching like the two old dudes in the Muppets. We finally get the big brouhaha! Taz coming out in full regalia and choking out Angle was cool. They should have done a big spot with JBL getting his comeuppance. They have Foley drag Bischoff from the commentary desk to the Ring. Bischoff is in his element he kills it for all it’s worth. Stone Cold plays air traffic controller 3-D! Flying Headbutt! 619! All WWE Guys and A STONE COLD STUNNER! The Dudleyz take out the trash throwing Bischoff out of the Hammerstein but simultaneously walking out of WWE as this was their last night on a WWE show until their comeback they would be on TNA for the Spike TV run! It is not must see But it is pretty entertaining bullshit that flies by. *** 1/2