NintendoLogic

Please tell me this won't end with a double elimination.

Becky should have given Nia the Bushwhacker Luke treatment. It would have been a fitting payoff.

They could always have Becky take Lana's spot.

Bwa ha ha.

I'm surprised by how over Bayley is. It should be pretty easy to heat her back up with some competent booking.

Every single Kofi Kingston Rumble spot was building up to that moment.

Christ. When did WWE matches become so chatty?

This Rumble has made it strikingly obvious how massive the gap between the top women and the rest of the division is.

Setting the table for whoever ends up in the Kevin Nash role to clean house.

So which IIconic is going to toss out the other?

That spin kick missed by a mile.

I just can't get into someone's promos when they speak with an obviously fake or at least exaggerated accent.

So Lesnar/Balor is the buffer match between the Rumbles? I don't think that bodes well for it being Brock's annual good match.

Ronda vs. Becky. Charlotte vs. Shayna. Bayley/Sasha vs. Duke/Shafir. Make it so.

All this focus on Sasha after the match is Hogan/Warrior-tier.

My broader point is that Ronda comes across terribly pretty much any time she opens her mouth. The crowds starting turning on Ronda when she started working against other babyfaces, which made her inherent unlikability impossible to hide. It's not hard to get smark crowds behind you when you're going against Nia Jax and Nikki Bella.

Smark crowds are showing as much respect for Ronda as she showed for murdered children.

They must not have come close to setting the Chase Field attendance record, because they usually work the numbers to put them over the top if they're within striking distance.

Given what we got when they did feud, it's for the best WWE didn't save that for Mania.

Simultaneous hot tags in WWE tag matches are bad enough as it is, but the way they look back at each other to make sure their tags are perfectly synchronized makes them the absolute worst.

The fact that Shane McMahon is an over babyface is the strongest evidence that WWE fans are irredeemable cretins.

This is an issue with WWE nearfalls in general, but I would have liked it if Becky had sold a bit after hitting the super Bexploder before going for the pin. Really good match overall. Pretty much the best possible Angle/Benoit match.

Also, Omega has heavyweight size and is fluent in English.

A hamburger with doughnut buns is called a Luther Burger, for Luther Vandross. It's quite appropriate for such a monstrosity to be named after a guy who died of a heart attack after suffering a diabetes-induced stroke.

Serious question: how is WWE not in blatant violation of truth in advertising laws? Yeah, I know, "card subject to change," but that's supposed to cover things like injuries and acts of God. Advertising a card you have no intention of delivering seems like it should be an open-and-shut case of consumer fraud.