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This was half as long as Hotta vs. Asuka and therefore twice as good. The appeal of joshi shootstyle remains utterly lost on me, however. This did get my attention with a nasty kick to the face by Yamada that served as the turning point in the match.

Patriot finally seemed to be putting it together leading up to and in the 1996 RWTL teaming with Kobashi: - vs. Williams/Ace (10/12) - vs. Albright/Sabu (11/21) - vs. Misawa/Akiyama (11/22) That last match is one that I like more than seemingly everyone else who reviewed it and is the best I've seen Patriot look in AJPW. I can't fathom voting for him but almost every time I watch him--from Global, to Stars & Stripes, to AJPW--I'm taken aback by how solid he is.

Yeah, no way I'm doing my full Pulp Fiction recap for this. Even the best parts go on too long, when these work better as a series of rapidfire bits. Naturally Cornette and Lawler still know how to cut the art of a succinct promo.

Douglas threw the match to Taz so he could get rid of the TV title. Shane can blither for as long as he wants if it means I get to look at Francine in a bikini.

PG-13 regain the tag titles at an unidentified house show (filmed like a TV program), when "P.G." Walker DDTs Flash Flanagan onto a chair. Flanagan does a stretcher job at PG-13's hands for what seems like the 17th time. JC Ice and Wolfie D stand by, cutting a good, serious promo.

Even watching all that '96 GAEA, I've never seen Tamura before. Uematsu was one of several girls to really impress me, and holy shit is she impressive here as well. Well, they both were, but Uematsu does one of the greatest body part sells you'll ever seen in wrestling, and easily the best I've ever seen in joshi which is a genre not really known for matches built around body part psych. Tamura relentlessly targets Toshie's knee and back and seems to have an answer for everything Uematsu tries as it all ends up back in some tricked out knee bar or anklelock. She's like a bigger, nastier, best possible Plum Mariko and Uematsu is a smaller, more sympathetic, and more technically sound Bayley. Both women also unleash some incredible offense that is too complicated to even describe but look like natural, organic wrestling moves. Uematsu makes a gallant comeback but Tamura, as she has the entire match, has one more answer and counters a Victory Star Drop into a reversal for the win, as your heart sinks along with Uematsu's. Unbelievably this is joshi wrestled like a classic 1970's title match--the emphasis on matwork and even the subdued, golf-clapping crowd contribute to that atmosphere. Terrific stuff that hints at how great joshi can be even when it's toned down. This will be on the MOTY list at the end, and the only thing holding it back from fighting for a top-3 spot is that it ends in 20:09 when I could have watched this go 45+.

I wasn't all that inspired by Lex's long entrance or promo, but a WCW guy closing Nitro out at least changes up the formula a bit. Sting disguising himself as a fake Sting is pretty darn clever.

Yeah, between this and the Nitro Girls and some other warning signs in previous weeks, I wonder if Bash at the Beach was sort of WCW's '97 peak and the company's collective ego is finally starting to outgrow itself. Could be premature--we'll wait and see. Masahiro Chono and Great Muta join us as NWO B-teamers. Bischoff is aghast at the suggestion that Nash was a Sting imposter last night--God knows who's suggesting it, because the announcers certainly weren't. This isn't really one of the great insincere heel wrestling promos. Konnan is the newest member of the NWO, speaking of B-teamers.

This kind of gets diluted when they had La Parka wrestle on the PPV with absolutely no acknowledgment of what had happened on Nitro, only to re-start the angle the next night. DDP has Savage outsmarted again, but gets thwarted by Hennig and his brass knucks. Hennig cuts a nice promo on Page and then Flair tries to recruit him again. Ric really comes off as dumb.

The Nitro Girls get the full Narcissist Lex Luger entrance. But not a working mic for Kimberly. It'll be awhile before we get to see Stacy. Kimberly couldn't be more out of step if she tried.

Just a tremendous performance by Austin, not only acting but working. Owen and Davey are fine (and Owen gets better as the match goes along) but Austin is a machine, taking these two along for the ride. Oh yeah, and Dude Love appears here, too, and it's as glorious as I remembered. Even if I don't quite get a '60s hippie coming out to a BeeGees knockoff.

Vince and Shawn remain unbearable together. Shawn actually takes a bit of the high road here, just focusing on wanting Bret Hart out of the country instead of trying to cut a promo on what happened backstage.

One of the most downright FUN matches of the year. One to watch if you're into minimalism, in wrestling or--heck, maybe anything else. This is all about simple bullshit in lieu of star-rating-centered action, but Hogan and Rodman are such magnetic personalities and the match is so well-laid-out that these four can get reactions just for blowing their noses. There are also some really great nods to Rodman's on-court career here, throwing elbows and a terrific callback to a real NBA incident where he headbutted a referee, neither of which are overdone and oversold. Nash as the fake Sting was dumb and pointless but it's the only black mark on this match. If I did a Top 100 matches for each year this would definitely have its place. It certainly is far more memorable than many other matches that will technically rank above it.

Hennig strolled on out with DDP to NO reaction at all. Not only was he physically shot but occasional guest appearances and commentary shots just weren't enough to keep him in the public eye. Curt can't even execute his backflip bump over the ropes. I liked Executive Consultant Curt more than Loss, but the era of the managers was pretty much dead. And then there wasn't even much of a followup to this--Hennig costs DDP a match against Syxx the next night, cuts a promo on Kimberly, and...nothing. It's Horsemen-recruitin' time.

This essentially functions as a pre-match interview, so it works in that regard.

Yes, a lame ending to a long feud and long career, as Sullivan does the job to Jacqueline with Chris Benoit making a brief cameo.

Who was the true pioneer of the selfie--Dave Attell or Sonny Onoo? This was pretty awesome--some missed spots, but nothing too bad and what's blown is covered for fairly effectively. Am I showing my ignorance or should Lizmark, Jr. been a bigger star in the U.S. than he was? He's really raw and clearly the least of the 6 guys here, but if he is only 21 as Tenay says he seems like has the potential and more importantly the size to be a bigger name in this country than he was. The booth gets awfully crowded for these types of matches but it was worth it to see Dusty marking out over the rowboat--that was clearly the highlight of the match for him. I'd love to an alternate universe where we got a hot trios match and a Blood Runs Cold match on every PPV. They slowly start to inject some story into this with Juvie working a brief FIP segment and the attempted trickery with the Villano switch--that's the direction they needed to be headed in instead of just throwing 6 guys out there at random.

Every Raven ECW promo would be improved about 2000% if they also involved Gene Okerlund. That was tremendous. Richards encourages Raven to talk about an announcement tomorrow on Nitro and gets smacked again.

The Mortis theme! Probably the best WCW theme ever. This was awesome, with energy from all four guys and some really cool offense from the Cat. I agree that this division could have gotten over as a third element of the cards to go along with the cruiserweights as an attraction and point of difference from the WWF. Jokes about the endless promos aside, matches like this show that it *could* have gotten over with crowds. I'd love to know who laid this match out, because they deserved a bonus.

Okay-ish, but once again Tanaka is the brightest star and Kanemura in second place. Here we don't even get a real patented Tanaka comeback, which I love. He just reverses a power bomb into one of the spidernets and then puts Kanemura away quickly afterward.

I know I just made this point, but oh boy, that Taz sure comes off as a badass here. While Cornette and Lawler are laying out the babyfaces he's sitting in the back with this thumb up his rear end, but a fan in the wrong t-shirt? Cue "War Machine!" I'd give anything for Lawler and co. to come back out and re-do the Bill Watts Russian flag angle with this guy.

Pretty much this whole episode revolved around the Cornette/Lawler angle, which is the way you want to do things if you're going to go to the trouble of bringing Cornette in. Very good promo from Beulah.

Taz's delivery is good but I don't get what he's really talking about or what his beef with Paul E. is. Where were you when Lawler and Cornette were laying waste to people, Taz?

"it is true, your honor--this man has no dick." --Jerry Lawler on Tommy Dreamer, paraphrased. Dreamer actually had to see a gynecologist.

This is annoyingly set to an endless loop of "Breathe" by Prodigy, but the angle itself is fun. Tod Gordon attempts to count a pin with the referee unconscious, but ends up taking a Sabu dive through a table! Wow. We have to be nearing the end of Commissioner Gordon and that, intentionally or not, seems like an effective way to write him out. We get more fun stuff with the lights, with Rude putting over how Alfonso is controlling the lights through signals with his whistle. First Lawler (who does some great stooging as Dreamer & Sandman make a comeback behind him), then when the King's about to get caned and DDT'd, Jim Cornette! Cornette only did this shot as a.) a favor to Candido, and b.) under the condition that he be allowed to bring Dennis Coraluzzo along so that Paul E. could make a personal apology to him for the NWA title business of '95. The whole story is on the WWF 1997 timeline, but needless to say, that apology never happened.