PeteF3
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I've pretty much hated Douglas so far in '95, but I already have the feeling that these vignettes are going to have me begging to go back to the Douglas/Cactus Jack friendship. I don't think an evil teacher is an IMPOSSIBLE gimmick to pull off, but with this delivery, in this setting, it's hopeless. CW Bergstorm and Melvin Penrod probably could have done this for cheaper.
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Vince hyping what we're about to see: "We're gonna have a humdinger!" Gag me. Then Vince implores us to get on the phone and call somebody, sounding more like Rodger Kent with every passing second. These two have had time to work their shit out together, and the result is a tighter match and an improvement on IYH. Both guys bust out some new offense you didn't typically see in the WWF--like the first space flying tiger drop on Raw, and Bret doing that quebrada/Vader-bomb thing to the floor. This isn't Bret's best overall performance so far in '95--that's easily at the Rumble--but this is probably his best match (Survivor Series and the December IYH pending, of course). Jean-Pierre LaFitte steals the burlap sack with the Bret Hart head in it that Hakushi brought to ringside. This would build to LaFitte stealing Bret's jacket that Helen "made" for him. What a waste. I'm going to have to seriously consider Bret for the Most Underrated Award at the end of the year, which sounds unthinkable but would seem to apply.
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This isn't bad for what it is. It's a little weird that these vignettes are airing now, considering we saw Fatu in his Make a Difference gear in the lumberjack match.
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Right, even though all us sheet-readers knew this was going to be Dustin, everyone was absolutely aghast the first time they actually saw him. There were several weeks of these announcement-only bits, and this had to be one of the longer newcomer build-ups the WWF ever did. It could have been worse. When wwe.com posted a bunch of prototype sketches, there were several of Dustin in Egyptian garb in a gimmick blatantly ripped off from Stargate.
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What a great one-two punch this card provided. Now, I know they weren't going to change the Triple Crown three times in 6 months (and four times in about 8 months, going back to '94)...but I daresay Kawada seemed like he had a better chance going into *this* match than he did in the 6/3/94 epic. After all, he's coming off a pin of Misawa this time, whereas Champion Carnival notwithstanding he had been on a cold streak from the end of '93 into most of '94. And it's wrestled that way too, with Kawada coming out smacking Misawa in the face figuratively and literally. It's really refreshing to see a Triple Crown match that tells everything that needs to be told and wraps things up in 24 minutes without feeling rushed. The one thing that sort of got glossed over was Misawa's sell of the backdrop driver--a move that's normally an achilles heel that's shrugged off disappointingly quickly. That's a very minor nitpick, though. After starting to grow weary of the style, it's great to see two back-to-back singles wars from All-Japan that both leave me wanting more. Not sure where this will place in the MOTY listings but top-10 is certainly not out of the question.
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Earlier on I said that Kobashi/Taue was the one big match-up of AJPW that didn't really seem to have an "iconic" match. I think this is the bout that comes closest--Carnival was great but this struck me as two guys on the same level leaving it all in the ring, whereas the Carnival was a vehicle to put Taue over. Here Taue starts off dominant, just as Kawada did in the last 6-man before this, and puts an exclamation point on the open by chokeslamming Kobashi on the floor. Kobashi pays him back later with a power bomb on the floor, but later after that gets greedy and tries the same thing after tearing up the pads, and Taue backdrops him on the concrete. There's some great struggle to avoid big moves here, with Kobashi working an awesome sequence to fight off Taue's nodowa attempt off the apron and a fight over a dragon suplex toward the end. I have to give huge credit to any match where the time limit draw bell completely blindsides me, and that's what happened here. Many draws, even great ones, are ones that you can see coming--that isn't the case here. Much like the Weekly Pro Tokyo Dome draw I could have watched these two go for twice as long.
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Blink and you'll mess Erik Watts among Tekno Team 2000 in the crowd of babyface lumberjacks. Triple H is in full tuxedo regalia while everyone else is in their in-ring gear or street clothes, which is pretty amusing. We pick up just after Mabel attacked Diesel on the floor, setting up the biggest groaner PPV main event in company history, probably still to this day. Diesel kicking out of the power bomb is built up to as the ultimate last-ditch comeback. Too bad we already fucking saw him do that one In Your House ago. Shawn hits Sid with a dive off the turnbuckle and Diesel cuts off the Corporation, who jump in to attack him ninja-style (one at a time). Sid doesn't even get the dignity of going down to the Jackknife, as Diesel puts him down with a big boot that doesn't even connect. Horrible on just about every level.
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The 1-2-3 Kid vs. The Roadie, In Your House 7/22/95 This had something of a rep and it's probably the best non-gimmick singles bout of Brian Armstrong's career. It's not great or anything much more than a solid TV-level bout, but he's able to keep up with the Kid on the faster sequences and he tones down the dancing between moves from where he had been in the summer. Kid is working at around 50% due to his neck injury but still knows how to put together a strong match. Roadie wins with a second-rope piledriver, which is effective considering Kid came in with a neck injury but probably should have been sold with a stretcher job rather than just a three-count.
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The band that backed up Double J for the live version of "With My Baby Tonight" plays his regular entrance theme live as well, which is kind of cool. I'm not sure if this is as good as Bret-Diesel as far as the best WWF match of '95 goes, or how it will hold up to the ladder match to come. But it's got a more satisfying ending than the Royal Rumble match and has a lot of twists and turns without coming off as overbooked. A pretty seamless blend of Memphis bullshit and Pat Patterson, with some death-defying bumps by Shawn and Jarrett hitting one of the greatest dropkicks in wrestling history. Roadie unseeingly trips Double J to set up their split that never happened, as both men would quit the company immediately after this match.
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From the attire and setting you could swear this was a rerun. But it's wrestled, at least early on, at a much more deliberate pace than the first match. This time they brawl into the souvenir/concession area rather than a lobby, but the layout overall is pretty similar and this really feels like they took this match "around the horn" a la an American house show run. Ozaki wins this time, at least. Basically a watered-down version of the first match. Not to get all, "Well, in a real fight wrestling move [x] couldn't happen therefore it's stupid" here, but I don't know of many street fights that go for 36:41. It's late and I'm tired, but I think that's way too long for the type of match they were trying to do.
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The musical leitmotifs for each of the members of the Dungeon put this up there with the Backlund Campaign in the running for Segment of the Decade. NOBODY HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO DEFEAT THE GREAT HULK HOGAN--EXCEPT YOURSELF. Hogan created the Taskmaster, evidently--some hack scriptwriter had just gotten done watching Batman, it looks like. The Giant is out, not only dressed like Andre but doing a full-fledged impersonation of Andre's mannerisms. The Dungeon was getting dangerously close to pre-WM6 Ultimate Warrior "go away already" territory, but this saved the series. It's a legendary segment but I don't think I've actually seen it until now.
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Yeah, it's hard to get excited about this knowing that this--and the whole fate of the promotion--would soon go up in flames. The Rock 'n Rolls were so great as heels in the USWA that I'd want to see it in SMW too, even if turning them would be sort of like the WWF turning Bruno.
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The studio match actually has some good action to it--Tanaka is still Tanaka--and then we get the big angle. Yes, this is a proto-NWO angle in almost every way. We don't see it here, but the Rock 'n Rolls even busted out spraypaint earlier on in the feud. Steven Dunn is now FLYING SOLO, BABY, not that it does him much good. Eventually Tommy Rich has enough and comes in with a chair and Team SMW bail. Hmmm...I can't help but notice that not only is Rich technically a member of Cornette's Militia now, but he never actually hit anybody from SMW with anything. Anyway, this whole thing is turning into a potential Feud of the Year, and is practically a lead-pipe cinch for it if you limit it to the U.S.
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Highlights from what may well be the North American MOTY to this or any other point. Incredible action with great heat, and some pretty complicated booking without becoming overwhelming. At one point one of PG-13 is sandwiched between a table and the turnbuckles, and Morton dropkicks the table. Even Bill Rush gets a chance to shine, taking out Mark Curtis when he returns to interfere. Eventually the Rock 'n Rolls steal a victory with the help of Tracy Smothers and a bottle to JC Ice's head. This is up there with another more famous tag team Texas Death Match as Mid-South Coliseum matches I most want to see in full. Team SMW cuts a gloating promo, and Morton bragging about how he's in his prime and never felt a thing while he's covered in blood is awesome. Tracy recites his THUG catchphrase and FIRES Jerry Jarrett! Bob Armstrong will have his job and Sandy Scott will take Eddie Marlin's. PG-13 are out in the studio to respond. They have a plan to deal with their six opponents, and Lance, because he's awesome, says he knows where this is going and tries to talk them out of it. PG-13 had to put up $1,000 for their proposed partner just to appear in the studio--and yes, it's Tommy Rich. He enjoys the sight of a bloody and beaten PG-13, but is seemingly only interested in the cash. Not sure what PG-13 was supposed to expect here. Lance cements himself as the best announcer active in 1995 and the best English-speaking announcer in history in his little spiel afterward. As if he needed this segment to do it, but it's just another mark in his favor. -
The previous tag will need a rewatch, because I thought this smoked that like a cheap cigar, and is in fact the second-best shootstyle match of the year after Takada/Vader. This was awesome all-around. Lightning-quick matwork, super intensity, gorgeous wrestling, and guys getting thrown all over the ring, all at once. Just too much innovative shit to count here, though I particularly liked Sakuraba getting caught in a butterfly lock by Malenko and trying to break it with knees into his back before conceding the point and going to the ropes. Anjo & Malenko actually execute a "cut the ring in half" strategy on Sakuraba, with Anjo even dragging him away from the corner at one point. Sano works a hot tag, house afire sequence and even throws a dropkick (!) before putting Joe away. The Lydick/Nelson match had a more traditional southern tag structure but this had way more advanced wrestling. Terrific, terrific bout and a breakout performance by Sakuraba.
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Pro-tip: If you right-click a page and click on "View Source," you can find the text of any post in its original format.
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"Public Enemy, what'd you think? Did you think the Gangstas were gonna come to the killing fields and PLAY witcha?" No question who's more authentic between these two teams. I can't even begin to transcribe what Mustafa says at the end but it's worth going out of your way to see.
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That kid takes all this in with remarkable aplomb.
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Another shitty by-the-numbers finish for a Hogan PPV match, what else is new. Weirdly executed post-match angle as Tony and the Brain immediately sign off after the match and act like they're off the air for Flair & Arn's confrontation with Vader. Vader immediately cuts a promo to the camera demanding a 2-on-1 match. Yeah, this wasn't rushed as hell or anything. That made the Michaels babyface switch look like a slow burn. I don't mean to keep repeating this point, but ECW's appeal is growing with every single Big Two segment.
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Hogan deigns to make another appearance on WCW TV--good for him. Rodman is in red & yellow and helps cut a promo on Vader. Boy, did this feud peter out quickly. Bischoff, being the starfucking ninny that he is, gushes over being flanked by the ladies of Baywatch. Gina Lee Nolin, the Buddy Roberts of the Baywatch girls, gets some face time, as does a producer. Gene Okerlund is with his "long time close personal dear friend," an intro spiel that never fails to crack me up. This time it's a Harley-Davidson dealer. Hogan is brought out for a Make-a-Wish presentation and boy does this scream "angle." It's a new Harley! Because HOGAN should be the one receiving expensive gifts. Hulk graciously wants a second bike to be given to the kids. Then the Giant shows up and throws his Jerry Seinfeld puffy shirt at Hulk. "I know this shirt, this is Andre's!" Shyeah. Hulk is horrified.
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I tend to agree with the point that intergender matches--while not inherently offensive--are nearly impossible to pull off well. I say "nearly" because I think this is a match that accomplishes it. It's not great, but for what it is, it works. Luna being bloodied and beaten is a bit disturbing, but...well, it's Luna, and I can buy that she'd be fine with this sort of thing. Stevie is pushed as such a generally ineffective putz that Luna dominating him works too. Both people try some pretty daring offense, including cage dives and Luna doing a Vader Bomb-type thing off the top rope with the help of the cage. The finish and post-match are two of the more iconic moments in ECW history of course, as Raven gets crucified against the cage and leveled with the chairshot heard 'round the world. An effective way for Dreamer to exact some revenge while still holding out on the pinfall victory.
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There's not a more viscerally hated man in wrestling in '95 than Bill Alfonso. He has to duck trash from the crowd and gets a fan thrown out, which eggs the crowd on even more. He's out to shut down the show, but Tod Gordon is out to confront him. Alfonso gives him a ten-count to get out of the ring before he has the promotion shut down entirely and Gordon's license revoked, but Gordon clotheslines him at around 6. Gordon is pulled off by the ECW undercard, and it sounds like Alfonso is asking for the show to be shut down again. Not sure where this is going.
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Nitro (or a Monday night show, specifically) had been announced about a week before this, and probably wasn't known much longer before that if you take Bischoff's word at face value that it was almost an impromptu decision during a meeting with Turner. The jobbers holding down Savage didn't make a ton of sense, but I thought this was a lot of fun. Flair with a bevy of Space Mountainettes is the personification of cool, and I'm a sucker for any angle where Flair beats the crap out of some schlub while wearing his custom-made street clothes. The lifeguards taking Flair's instructions to the letter was LOLworthy and a great payoff, and they at least somewhat pay off the incompetent jobbers by having Savage beat them up. For justifiable reasons.
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YES! NO! YES! NO! The Zodiac is here! How could anyone not recognize this guy as Beefcake? He's STILL wearing his disturbing tights with holes in them. The Wizard sends the Shark back to the tidal waves and Zodiac back into the Land of Yin and Yang and promises one final warrior. Zodiac is in the running for Worst Gimmick of the Year in a year that has seen many, many candidates.
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Ricky Morton hasn't arrived at TV yet, so the scheduled match between the Rock 'n Rolls and Snow/Unabomb is off. But Bob Armstrong says there WILL be a championship match, as promised. Good TV match, with a spectacular springboard dive to the outside by Snow and a springboard legdrop by Unabomb. The THUGs take the Smoky Mountain tag belts...remember, not only was Unabomb leaving, but Snow was on his way out as well, off to the WWF with the amazingly successful Avatar gimmick. They were clearly saving Unabomb to get jobbed out by Undertaker, which is the right move. I thought this was the end of Ricky Morton in SMW, but the Rock 'n Rolls crash the locker room upset about what's happened. I can totally get behind a Rock 'n Rolls heel turn, as ill-fated as it may be.