Jump to content
Pro Wrestling Only

RIP - Where eliminated wrestlers go to die


Loss

Recommended Posts

The following wrestlers have been officially eliminated from the tournament. We at NMB wish to extend our deepest sympathies to the families of the eliminated wrestlers, and will be starting a scholarship fund in their honor. Should anyone have any memories of any permanently eliminated wrestlers which they would like to share, they may do so here. Yes, it may hurt, but your NMB brethrens will remain by your side. I will continue to add to the deceased list as we continue to find eliminated wrestlers among the carnage. Services will be held whenever those who are voting in the tournament are online. All eliminated wrestlers have requested to be cremated.

 

*bong*

 

Bam Bam Bigelow -- NMB mourns for your lost soul, and we will do our part to make sure that in this tournament, Clique members who held you down will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. May you never have to job to a non-wrestler in heaven.

 

*bong*

 

Taka Michinoku -- May you be recognized as the talent you are, and may your soul find closure in the fact that Jerry Lawler, who laughed at you falling out of the ring at the 2000 Royal Rumble, didn't even qualify for the tournament

 

*bong*

 

Randy Orton -- May you crap in the gym bags of the angels above. Heaven needed an overpushed metrosexual.

 

*bong*

 

Jeff Jarrett -- May you hold this tournament up for money, jump to the competing tournament immediately and when that tournament ceases to be, start a new tournament at a new board, a board where you are always the champion of the world.

 

*bong*

 

IRS/Mike Rotunda -- May the afterlife consist entirely of people who know how to spell your last name.

 

*bong*

 

Rick Rude -- May you torment our souls for all eternity at double eliminating you in this tournament without you getting a single victory. May you stand in the shadows as the Ultimate Warrior ultimately gets credit for your work, and may the truly enlightened accept that as it is.

 

*bong*

 

Tully Blanchard -- May you find a wrestling company in your next life that doesn't test for cocaine, and may your soul be reincarnated in the upcoming tag team tournament.

 

*bong*

 

Val Venis -- May you be considered a role model by well-endowed, right-winged extremists for the rest of time (you already have Anne Coulter) and may you find someone, somewhere to acknowledge your talent.

 

*bong*

 

Arn Anderson -- May you be at peace with the injustices committed in this tournament, and may you allow Ric Flair to proudly carry your torch as far as he can.

 

*bong*

 

Chavo Guerrero Jr -- May you someday be recognized as one of the best wrestlers in your company, and may you eventually escape the shadows of your family and your opponents. You can finally be reunited with Pepe.

 

*bong*

 

Terry Funk -- You'll never die. Who do you think you're fooling?

 

*bong*

 

Ax of Demolition -- May your entrance music live on in the annals of WWF history, and may your partner represent the tag team well.

 

*bong*

 

Goldust -- May you find a spiritual home that allows you to have breast implants, and that will also allow you to take your gimmick with you should you decide to find a new spiritual home.

 

*bong*

 

Jeff Hardy -- May you be found on the floor of an all-night rave, covered in your own vomit, chewing on a glowstick. May you also be kept far away from girls at all times. Girls are icky!

 

*bong*

 

Matt Hardy -- May you be given something better to do in the afterlife than watch after your vomit-covered, glowstick-chewing brother; perhaps you could haunt the new home purchased by Edge and Lita.

 

*bong*

 

Andre the Giant -- May you be remembered for what you once were, and not what you became, and may your legacy forever be preserved.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Matt Hardy -- May you be given something better to do in the afterlife than watch after your vomit-covered, glowstick-chewing brother; perhaps you could haunt the new home purchased by Edge and Lita.

 

I piss on his grave and have faith in the human spirit as people came to their senses and did not vote a Hardy Boy over Steamboat. Am I gloating? Yes. Do I think Steamboat will get creamed in the next round? Depends who he is matched up against.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Add the following wrestlers to the mourning. Anyone who has words for any of these guys should feel free to share them.

 

Ultimate Warrior

Rob Van Dam

Demolition Smash

Bob Backlund

Diesel

Christian

Sid

Sgt Slaughter

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ricky Steamboat- May you lash out with all of your might from the heavens at the naysayers and doubters. As an ROH announcer once said "You carried Mr. Fuji to a good match for chrissakes!" Also, may you give Loss 42 arm drags and three karate chops for questioning your greatness.

 

That's all I got.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...