garretta
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Oh, boy. Was Jerry Jarrett trying to get kicked off of Dallas TV? First violence against women, now race-baiting? And instead of Lawler and Snowman fighting for a title, we get Jeff Jarrett and Iceman King Parsons fighting for.......what, exactly? And Skip Young as the referee? If you want to rerun Lawler/Snowman with a Texas twist, what's the matter with using the King himself against Iceman and making it for the title? I'm enjoying Lawler-Dundee/DWB-Gilbert as much as anyone, but there's nothing about that feud that couldin't keep if you wanted to run an actual program for the title instead of just a tag feud that could be done at any time. (If I understand this correctly, the way the TV worked, the same talent couldn't appear in both Memphis and Dallas live in the same weekend, so if Lawler had worked a program with Iceman in Dallas, they couldn't have done the DWBs/Gilbert feud in Memphis at the same time.) As for what we saw, I guess Jeff's not a bad substitute if you know that his dad owns the promotion, which I'm not sure they did in Dallas. But there were two things that stood out as ridiculous and almost sank the segment: 1) Young telling the officials to let Jeff and Iceman fight when it was clear that they were being held apart for good and 2) John Braselle no-selling Iceman's headbutt. The first is at least forgivable in the heat of the moment, but the second is an unconscionable error at best and a fireable offense at worst. When you're a matchmaker with no wrestling experience and a wrestler hits you, you go down like you've been shot and get stretchered to the back no questions asked, even if it's accidental contact, which this wasn't. Fortunately, Craig never acknowledged it on TV, because if he had, Iceman might just as well have packed his bags. If his best headbutt can't even knock down the freakin' matchmaker, what chance does he have against Jeff? On the lighter side, I loved Percy calmly eating Oreos, of all things, as if nothing was going on. I'm not sure if that was deliberate of just a hell of a coincidence, but either way, it worked splendidly. This one looks like it could be either a classic or a trainwreck. We'll find out which in the month and change to come.
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Heenan once again shows his legitimate professional comedy timing here by going back and forth with Arsenio and legitimately cracking him up several times, and Rude's better than you would expect for a wrestler whose main speaking experience is in promos. The outfits for both guys are priceless, and I wonder if Arsenio ever wore the tights Heenan and Rude gave him. I'd expect not, because if he did and that segment's not here, someone fell asleep on the job! One thing I found interesting is that in an interview that was otherwise purely conducted in character, both Heenan and Rude admitted that they had wives. I would have thought that Bobby would have only admitted to having Miss Betty, while Rude would have bragged about his conquests. Rude's wedding band is plainly visible as well. Then again, it kind of adds to Rude's character if you stop to think about it; a married man is so stuck on his own body that he believes he can still have any woman he wants on demand. I'm sure Vince didn't put this much thought into the Rude character, but it's a nice twist for fans like us to think about. Heenan comparing himself to veteran baseball managers like Earl Weaver and Tommy Lasorda was apt in more ways than one, as those two were two of the biggest managerial crybabies in baseball history, complete with expletives. I'd have loved to see Bobby counter Arsenio's crack about never managing a World champion with a subtle reference to Nick Bockwinkel, but I don't think Arsenio would have gotten the connection. Actually, Arsenio kind of comes off as second best to Bobby throughout the entire segment. I thought for a second that Rude was going to do some embarrassing racial stuff when he said he wanted to imitate a black man. Thank God it was only the Arsenio tights. Typical Turner pettiness at refusing to allow its wrestlers to appear on Arsenio's show. It was probably the most prestigious show you could appear on if you were a wrestler at the time, as Carson/Leno and Letterman were ignoring the sport by then.
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I guess they needed to make sure everybody knew that Lawler would have beaten Snowman without Bruno's interference and still could do so at any time. It's not like it's a big deal anyway; Lawler-Dundee/DWBs are going to draw the houses for the next while, so how weak the World champion looks really doesn't matter much. I like Snowman coming to Lawler's aid, and I'm surprised we didn't see a six-man with Lawler, Dundee, and Snowman against the DWBs and Gilbert. I mean, did Jeff Gaylord have to challenge for the title right away, and is he really the best you have as far as challengers go? Say what you will about the man, Gaylord doing one-handed pushups is impressive. Gaylord on the mic is exactly the opposite, even with Bruno to do most of the talking. Snowman brings some of the ghetto jive, which at least makes him sound different. And so the Unified World title goes from the top of the card to a midcard afterthought in one week. I know there's only one true champion in most of the fans' eyes, and he's busy making sure his best friend's girlfriend is kept safe for virtuosity, but it's not like Jarrett's even trying. If I'd been booking, I'd have brought Austin in for a one-shot; at least the fans would have had Jeannie to look at if the match fell apart.
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I could understand Calhoun being mixed up at the finish, but they should have at least let Tessa go to work on Kim for a few seconds before Anthony made the save. Like Loss said, if Kim's going to come out of this basically unharmed, why not just have the heels go over? And these beatdowns are still too long. Lawler and Dundee could have been beaten to death and Tessa stripped totally naked by the time Jeff and Travis finally showed up. The babyface locker room should have anticipated something going wrong and been at the ready, but then again, if they were crafty they'd be on the heel side. Lawler pulls the best swerve in some time back in the studio, in essence tricking the heels into coming out to prey on him, then springing Dundee and Tessa from out of nowhere as the crowd and Michael St. John go wild. I wasn't sure where the first bat had come from until I saw Dundee cleaning house. They acknowledge Dallas here, so the ignorance of continuity seems to go mostly from Dallas toward Memphis. I guess Papa Jerry figured that since Dallas had their own favorites like Chris Adams and Kerry Von Erich (at least at the time) they had enough solid guys and potential angles on top that they didn't need the Memphis guys and their angles too. So far, they've been right for the most part, but am I the only one who would like to see a ladies' tag at the MSC with Toni and Tessa against Jeannie and Kim? At any rate, we get basically the same match as last week, with the added bonus of Tom Burton being handcuffed at ringside as well. I like Tessa promising to strip him naked along with Kim, which I'm pretty sure Lawler and Dundee understandably no-sold. Tessa's mouth might have just gotten ahead of her brain, as happens to rookies (and lots of veterans too). What could possibly be next in this feud? Can't wait to find out!
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You definitely get the feeling from the little we saw that Hansen had quite the tussle, but just managed to dig deeply enough to survive. I'm sure we haven't seen the last from these two, as this feels like a rivalry in the making.
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The match was nice until Lawler and Dundee wrecked it, but no one minds the wrecking, not even King and Maggs, who didn't look too bad. I like the alliance between Anthony and Gilbert, but isn't Tom Burton kind of the forgotten man here? It always seems like Anthony has other partners in the really big matches. I like that Eddie was still so focused on getting his money from Dundee, especially since he (erroneously) believes that Lawler now has it. No one plays the aggrieved victim sort of heel quite as well as Eddie. It's interesting; when Downtown Bruno was in the southern USWA, he was billed from Pittsburgh. But when he jumped to the Northeast-based WWF as Harvey Whippleman, he was billed from (I believe) Memphis, of all places. At any rate, his promo is good, and he plays to the "Get bucked!" chant very well, even including it in the meat of the promo. Nicely done. Finally, I got a kick out of Dave blaming Bruno's promo for costing the match a second fall. Hell hath no fury like a Memphis announcer whose show has gone off format!
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Not really much of a match between Lawler and Gilbert, but it is rather ironic to see Eddie playing heel Lawler's favorite game of "Object, Object, Wherefore Art Thou, Object?" with the King himself. Obviously, a number one contender's match on TV is counterproductive, so we get a DWBs run-in. Then Eddie throws fire at Lawler, who promptly ducks so that poor Tom Burton gets it in the face instead! That Lawler. How dare he duck a fireball that was meant to cripple him for life! Eddie is particularly effective here; you can tell that he brings a little something extra to the table when he's feuding with his idol Lawler. I wonder what he meant by "stuff you all thought had gone away"? I guess we'll all find out soon enough. Michael St. John has some grit to him, talking back a bit to an angry Tony Anthony here. All in all, I prefer announcers who stand up for themselves on occasion rather than cowering simps who can barely hold the mic in the presence of the big, bad wrestlers. If wrestlers scare you, then why the hell are you in the business to begin with? Yes, it can be overdone, but wrestling could have used some more commentators who weren't afraid to call the heels out to their faces. Kim's getting a bit better on promos; let's hope Tessa follows suit soon for the sake of this feud.
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interesting that Stan screwing over his newest enemies (Doc and Bamm Bamm) allows an old enemy (Jumbo) to win the tag titles. I'd like to see this match in full at some point, as what we saw didn't look bad at all.
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These two promos were completely mismatched. Austin channels Stone Cold and basically threatens to cripple Toni for life, and Jeannie follows up with.......bragging about her body? What a jarring contrast. I'm not saying that talking about crippling a woman for life is a good thing, but these two needed to pick one message and stick with it. This is one of the first times that Jeannie shows how inexperienced she still is in the business. I did like how she noticed that Craig was looking down her dress and called him out on it. Thankfully, we only have to put up with him for August and a few days in September before USWA Texas takes its hiatus, because right now he's the runaway leader in the competition for worst announcer of 1990. The man simply can't stop smirking, no matter how serious the angle. I'm waiting for one of the boys to ask him on the air, "What's so funny?" Bill Mercer at his most clueless would have been miles better than this. I can't wait to actually go back through and watch the match which caused all this so I can see for myself how it helped get the USWA kicked off of Dallas TV.
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This was tremendous. Tony really let it all hang out here and looked like he was having the time of his life, and Dawna not being able to stop smiling only added to the segment. I noticed the callouts to Warrior and Sting, and he would have been a great challenger for either one of them, as I've said time and time again. Too bad Vince and Herd didn't see things that way.
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Nice WWF-style green screen here. At least ICW put money into something for once in its life. Again I ask: Vince had a chance to add a persona like this to the WWF and he created Saba Simba instead? It had to be a test for Tony to see how low he would sink to make money. Whether he passed or failed is a matter of opinion, but you can't tell me someone in Stamford didn't know about these promos. They were too good, and ICW was right in Vince's backyard. Atlas as he was seen here would have been an ideal replacement for Bad News Brown.
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Another solid Tatum promo. He seems to have moved totally beyond Tessa now, and wants to kick Dundee's butt in a Texas death match. I'm not sure I'd brag about being the love 'em and leave 'em type, but that's just me. Another case of Memphis and Dallas being two separate promotions with the same name: in Memphis, Tatum's neck was injured by Lawler. In Dallas two weeks later, he's perfectly fine and still defending the Southern title. It amazes me that two sides of the same promotion, booked and owned by the same man, have so little continuity, especially when they're running the same feud for the same reason.
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It looks more like Ricky Steamboat from the early eighties than it does Kerry, to be honest. It's not quite as far off as some of the wrestling dolls Vince put out in the eighties, though. This was just another of the many ways that the Dallas promotion tried to make money off of the Von Erich name. Not a triumph in any sense, but not the outright wrestlecrap some of you seem to think it was.
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If my teenage mutant ninja turtle got excited by shows like The Bold and the Beautiful, I'd have told him to turn off the TV too. At least he passed on Santa Barbara (which was actually carried by WMC the then- and current-NBC affiliate in Memphis). So many bad dudes in Memphis and Jeff Gaylord is his first target? You might want to teach him to aim a little higher, Splinter. Let's just hope that whatever matches we get out of this guy are better than his vignettes and promos.
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These beatdowns at the MSC are getting ridiculous, especially since Lawler apparently also had to wrestle Snowman later in the evening for the Unified title. No wonder people thought of Snowman as a joke champion; the only reason that his one credible challenger can't beat him is because he's been beaten half to death by two guys earlier in the same night. Look, I love babyface Lawler as much as anyone, but if they had to keep him tweener for another couple of weeks to finish the Snowman feud once and for all, I'd have lived with it. No wonder Snowman left with the belt if this was all the respect he got from Jarrett. As for the upcoming stip match, what else are you going to do with Tessa and Kim? They can't wrestle, or even catfight decently. The only value they have is as teases, and if anybody actually thinks they're going to be stripped naked in front of the world and left that way while the respective men in their lives do nothing about it regardless of any signed contract, they're completely braindead. Of course they're not going to follow through on the stips; it's all about how creative the screwjob's going to be, and this being Memphis, I have no doubt it'll be ingenious. Tatum's promo was hilarious, as almost everyone else has said. I used to think he was a real lightweight, but he's been a treat on both sides of the USWA, and I don't think he'd have been used quite as well anywhere else. The girls need a ton of promo help if they're going to do anything useful here. I've noticed that the camera's stayed away from showing any male violence against either of them, so maybe Jarrett did learn from what was happening in Dallas.
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I think I like the idea of a Lawler/Anthony feud; I'm not so sure about Burton. I'll say this for Anthony; he doesn't back down or run scared from the King, and Lawler's at his best when he's made to fight, whether he's a face or a heel. Nice to see Ben Jordan still wrestling after what Lawler put him through earlier this year.
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I thought maybe it was a cousin, since Hildebrand looked a lot like a Gilbert here. At any rate, no one's better at snapping and going after the innocent than Eddie, and we see it again here. I thought that after he was done with Hildebrand, Dave was next. So Eddie's five grand is going to be the reason behind the restart of the Lawler/Gilbert feud. If this was a corker with only pride and ego on the line, it ought to be something else again with money as a motivator. I can't wait to see how this plays out!
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The beatdown went way too long without help, but really, who was there to help, except maybe Lawler? The Memphis babyface side can't possibly get much thinner, and that's with Lawler's turn all but official. I like the back-and-forth between Lawler and Dundee here. You can tell that Bill really doesn't trust Lawler yet (and why would he?), but he's afraid to piss him off because he already has a feeling that he might need Lawler's help in case this Gilbert thing doesn't go well (it's obvious that something stinks from the second Dundee starts talking about deals with the devil). Why is Bill not selling the beatdown? Probably because Tessa would be on her own if he wasn't there. Let's face it; anyone who was beaten as badly as he was should be in the hospital, but if he was gone, could you imagine her trying to lead this segment, even with Dave and the King's help? She can't even throw a decent punch in a catfight, for heaven's sake. Sometimes, the science of producing watchable television trumps kayfabe, like it or not. I don't know which was better: Dundee calling Lawler "the devil's right hand man" or Lawler's "Oh my God, he'll kill him!" when he sees Guy Coffey come out and "mistakes" him for Dundee's surprise partner. Eddie's just as sleazy as you'd expect. It's a nice nod to history that he refuses to come out while Lawler's at the announce table. I also like him referencing his past with Tatum, though it's doubtful how many people actually remember their feud in the UWF. I don't think I've ever seen an angle where the surprise partner refuses to help the guy who's being attacked. Usually, they jump in with both feet in order to convince the fans that the partnership is solid, even if the fans can figure out based on past history that a turn's coming at some point. It's not that Eddie needed Missy to be effective, but he certainly could have used her. I wonder what Turner promised her or what she was looking for from them that led her to stay when Eddie left.
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If Bill and Tessa were a real-life item (as apparently they were), maybe they were uncomfortable going on with the romantic triangle, especially with Tatum, who was actually involved in a triangle that turned real (although he was on the losing end with Eddie Gilbert and Missy Hyatt). I kind of liked Tatum ditching the jilted lover routine and just going off on Dundee. I also liked his line about Tessa; that probably resonated with more audience members' own lives than anyone could ever know. First blood always seems like a tame sort of match for a blowoff, but they tend to deliver. We'll see if this one does.
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In Memphis, this is harmless fun. In the WWF, Vince would have been destroyed for it. It just goes to show you what a reserve of credibility and goodwill can do for a wrestling promotion. I'm actually interested to see how this gimmick works in the ring, as Champion looked like he was moving pretty well in the suit.
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And so the Lawler/Dundee seesaw completes yet another cycle. Considering the previous history between Lawler and Gilbert and Gilbert's past in Memphis, I was totally fine with this happening quickly. Not only do we get to see Lawler and Dundee back together, but I'm sure we'll eventually see Lawler/Gilbert, which is always a classic feud. I loved how psyched Dave was over Lawler's return to the right side of the fence and his reunion with Dundee. I guess he was as tired of heel Lawler's lame jokes and racial putdowns as we were. In all seriousness, that has to be a tough type of character for even an experienced host like Dave to work with on a regular basis. He looked and sounded like a fifty-pound weight had just been lifted from his shoulders, and it most likely wasn't all kayfabe. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like Lawler's doing color anymore, at least not regularly. I think that not showing Gilbert throwing Tessa down had to be intentional. Why court trouble in your home market the way you just had in Dallas when it wasn't necessary?
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I wonder why they didn't go two out of three at the MSC; that would seem like the logical place for a match like this. They must have thought of Evansville as a fairly important town to bring it there. I'm not sure how good the match would have been considering Snowman's limitations, but it definitely would have been something to see.
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I knew that Lex won the match with the clothesline before I sat down to watch this, and I thought that he might be using the clothesline because he was afraid of putting the Rack on someone with his bad knee. But then he racked Taker pretty easily, so there went that idea. Still, you don't want monsters like Sid and Taker submitting, so the clothesline is a good way to beat them while still keeping them hot for the future. Just thinking out loud here, but the heart punch might have been a good finisher for Taker in the WWF. Call it the "casket sealer" or whatever cheesy death-inspired name you choose. But the tombstone appealed to Vince's puntastic sense of humor, so there you go. What's next for Luger? He's running out of otherwise unbooked monsters to tame. Windham, perhaps?
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The King's back as a babyface and all's finally right in Memphis. I think this match coming up is the last Lawler/Snowman match, and it'll be nice to see both men take on other people. I also want to see where the whole Lawler/Bruno thing goes, especially since Lawler and Jeff Gaylord were buddies just a little bit ago in Dallas. I've never heard the expression "Get bucked" before, but maybe that's because I'm neither black nor from the South. I have a feeling we'll stop hearing it when the Snowman leaves in a short while. I think Snowman and Lawler were better off with their quasi-shoots, as Snowman just doesn't cut it as a fully pro-style worker. He tries his best, but he really shouldn't be on top (at least in a kayfabe sense) of a promotion.
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This is getting to be too much for Dallas. I know they're really going for huge heat on Austin and Jeannie, but now I'm starting to realize why they lost TV in Texas. Sunshine and Precious weren't this bad and neither were Sunshine and Missy. I think Jarrett completely misread his market here; catfights are one thing, but when you start bringing up sex this explicitly in the Bible Belt, you're buying yourself more trouble than you can handle, especially if you're an outsider. Jeannie's surpassing Austin on the mic, which is a bit of a surprise considering that Austin presumably has more to sound off about than she does, being an active wrestler. I agree with Soup that Austin talking over Jeannie was terribly distracting. So they're putting Chris and Percy in the middle of this mess, huh? What the hell, it's not like they can fit much of anywhere else with Kerry and Borne gone.