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"Strangler" Diego Corleone


Guest wwesucks
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Guest kowking

Hi Diego. Or Diego's best friend.

 

I know you from a bunch of Chicago forums you spam, and Wrestlecrap.

 

He's not a great promo.

 

He sucks.

 

Just saying.

 

Sorry.

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Jesus fucking Christ. What a mark. I've seen all this shit done countless times, and it never fails to amaze me just how dumb some people can be about the wrestling business.

 

1. Never, ever try to work the internet in this grass-roots fashion. NEVER. Teenage kids at mark forums can tell what you're trying to do, and it builds resentment more than curiosity. Real professionals either laugh or shake their heads at guys who spam a bunch of forums trying to "build up their name" or whatthefuckever. It's the sign of a wannabe who can't get booked through traditional channels, so is desperately trying to make his name through viral marketing. Any promoter worth his salt will take one glance at that and make a mental note to never book you. Especially trying to do it in such a cowardly fashion as "hey everyone, look at this awesome wrestler!" under an assumed name. Especially doing it in your first post as a new member on a forum. It makes you look like a total fucking backyarder who's never cut promos outside of an e-fed.

 

2. Here's another tip for aspiring wrestlers: never start your promo by pointing into the camera lens and growling "Lemme tell ya something!" And never EVER keep repeating that phrase over and over again. That's one of the surest signs of a fucking amateur hack who is cosplaying at old promos he marked out to, rather than someone coming up with their own shit. That "_______ is my business, and business is good!" is a tired old cliche as well. Also, shooting all this shit ECW-style in your basement displays a marked lack of creativity. Find an interesting setting to do your mediocre "Sid imitating Piper" promos in front of.

 

3. And oh yeah, that gimmick? It's laughable. It's like a 12-year-old boy's idea of what a "scary villain" is. Coming out to the Terminator 2: Judgement Day soundtrack? REALLY? (And some chick valet for no reason, who wears street clothes and generally looks utterly clueless; maybe that one was forced on you by the promotion, but it certainly doesn't help.) And wearing a black trenchcoat, and using a murder weapon for a gimmick prop, and having goth-wannabe facepaint, and walking around the crowd and acting crazy like Bruiser Brody. Nobody's fooled, brother; you're still the same unthreatening, unintimidating wimp you were back in junior high. Pallid skin, thinning scraggly hair, facial hair like a teenager, and pointy man-titties all combine to make a general impression of "I can totally kick this guy's ass" in every fan in the crowd. Some guys were born to be frightening dudes; you are not one of them. Accept it. You're trying to be this dark force of chaos, but you look more like Eugene on Halloween. You've never strangled anyone, you never will strangle anyone, and everyone in the crowd can tell that by just looking at you.

 

4. Learn how to properly upload your goddamn Youtube videos. Nobody's impressed by watching a jerky video which looks like it's had a stroboscopic visual effect added to it. This shit is moving at about four frames per second, looking like a webcam from a decade ago. I was gonna critique Diego's in-ring skills, but the video of his match with Duggan is literally unwatchable. And a quick glance at a couple of the others proves that they all seem to be that choppy. Uploading a shitty malfunctioning video like that is worse than no video at all, because it makes you look like a fucking idiot and gives a general "don't bother ever giving this guy a shot, he has no idea what he's doing" vibe.

 

In conclusion: either get some brains and some savvy and some subtlety and grow up a bit, or get the fuck out of this business. Indy wrestling is being choked to death on an overwhelming flood of untalented wannabes like yourself.

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To be fair, at least the guy cares enough about his career or that of his friend's to promote it. Having said that though, yeah, quite amateurish in the advertising and promoting aspect. There are other members here who can shill off their promotion or friends without looking like a total noob and/or desperation seeping out of their every word.

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