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New Zealand - A dominant promotion which has scoured the smaller territories for their finest talent and signing them onto high paying contracts, and is a monolith which is the clear #1 in the Wrestling world, and is a brand respected worldwide.

 

Wales - The Barry Windham of Rugby. Size, grace, technique, and almost orgasmic to watch. Fluid movements, masses of which is arguably the greatest natural talent in the biz, but never reaches the top spot due to circumstance. Some in their control, some not. (Also have the nicest shirts, best National Anthem, best stadium, best sideburns in the 70s, and who real men like)

 

England - Ron and Don Harris. Boring to watch one-paced lumpers, who since the start of the 90s have somehow consistently found themselves in prominent positions to the chagrin of the viewing public. Dull as dishwater to watch, show no flair, grace, or inspiration.

 

Australia - Dolph Ziggler. They're quick, can do the spectacular, are always towards the top, but in the cold light of day, they aren't really that good.

 

South Africa - Dirty bastards.

 

 

So, anyone else watching? Watching Wales finally bring it on home?

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England - Ron and Don Harris. Boring to watch one-paced lumpers, who since the start of the 90s have somehow consistently found themselves in prominent positions to the chagrin of the viewing public. Dull as dishwater to watch, show no flair, grace, or inspiration.

 

 

Perfect description.

 

As someone brought up supporting Wales (Welsh mother), the Alain Rolland heel turn in the last WC still rankles to this day. We've got a bastard of a group this time, but I'm still hopeful.

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Alain Rolland is Earl Hebner. Steve Walsh was also Earl Hebner, but more the attention seeking than the screwjob element.

 

I honestly believe whoever wins our group will at the very least reach the final. So I think we'll make the final, the All Blacks will beat us, and then they'll steal our coach for their 3rd consecutive time.

 

The majority of my English friends have the same views as you on the England team, and will follow Wales in Rugby but not any other sport (except for the recent jumping of the Gareth Bale bandwagon). They're just so pragmatic. And having arseholes like Will Carling, Austin Healey, Matt Dawson, Lawrence Dallagio, Clive Woodward and Brian Moore in the setup over the years just rubs salt into the wound. Just amazing how unlikable they are. I blame the way they played to win the 2003 WC.

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There's a certain smugness that comes with English rugby. You can see it in the way Chris Ashton dives for tries, how unbearable Matt Dawson is on Question of Sport or how a London rugby club can decide to move to Coventry and buy our stadium. I loved how much stick Gatland got in the press for primarily picking Wales players for the 2013 Lions tour, as if building around the core of the 6 Nations winning team was a bad idea.

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Especially for Brian O'Driscoll's teary eyed and balled fist impression of Dennis Stamp. "BUT I'M NOT IN THE TEAM! JONATHAN DAVIES IS GOOD, BUT I'VE BEEN PLAYING AND BEEN UP MY OWN ARSE FOR YEARS AND I WOULD HAVE TWICE THE CENTRE PARTNERSHIP WITH JAMIE ROBERTS THAT HE HAS. I'M NOT IN THE TEAM! I'M NOT PICKED!"

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Rob Jones and Nick Farr-Jones for the hell of it.

 

 

On those lines, the strategy the British Lions invented in 1974 to counter the South Africans being dirty bastards was called the "99 Call". So when one of the dirty attacked you off the ball you'd shout "99" and all of your teammates would knock fuck out of the closest South African, leading to the wonderful sight of Respected Surgeon, World-class Tennis Player, wearer of the world's greatest sideburns, and hardnut who'd stitch himself up without anaesthetic JPR Williams running the whole length of the pitch to fill in a South African. He's number 15 in the red. The one taking on 5 people on his own towards the end of the video.

 

 

In a fight between JPR and Meng, I probably would have to take JPR. He's just fucking hard.

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I always enjoy the Lions tours with the exception of the debacle overseen by Woodward in 2005.

 

I find it tough to go against and almost criticise England (and Jason Robinson is probably my favourite all time player), but whilst Healey was always a knob I've found so many of that 2003 team unbearable since. Add Greenwood, Vickery and Kay to Messrs Dawson and Dallaglio.

 

I felt that the Irish were a very boring and predictable side in the 2000s (much moreso than England): O'Gara to kick to touch, O'Connell and O'Kelly to win the line-out, look for the penalty, O'Gara to kick the three pointer, rinse, repeat.

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Woodward's Lions! The dropping of some of the world's form players (especially Martyn Williams, who was the world's form 7 after McCaw that year) in favour of any man from England he'd shaken hands with since 1999. Iain Balshaw instead of Kevin Morgan? Bringing Neil Back, and Lawrence "Cunt" Dallaglio out of international retirement? Taking such international no-marks as Andy Titterell and Ollie Smith? Yeah, alright then Clive. Along with it just being a whole exercise in corporate management bullshit manouveures. Team building, media relations from Alistair Campbell, commissioning a new anthem and trying to mate the players learn it, going on motivational talks... It' the Lions. Let them get pissed together for a week and let them just play Rugby after that. It should be like playing for the Barbarians. It says a lot for Clive Woodward's mentality on the squad he should pick when after an injury he called up the aged Simon Shaw who I don't think had been capped since the days of Wrexham's Own Dorian West at that point in time (despite a renaissance late in his career). And, of course, taking Wilkinson despite having not playing in 2 years, then breaking up the very successful Jones/Henson 10/12 partnership as there was no way he could have fairly dropped Jones but Lord Knows, Wilko had to play.

 

The Irish were indeed guilty of that during the same period. Their solid back row, and boiler room of O' Connell and O'Callaghan/O'Kelly was perfectly primed for picking up penalties around the contact area, and ROG and before him 89 year old David Humphreys would band them over from everywhere, but there was some real incision in the backline with Dempsey, Hickie, Horgan, BOD, D'Arcy. I mean, as predictable as they were, there was never a Mike Tindall standing in the midfield like a fat electric charge, sucking rugby away from anywhere near him (unfortunately for Robinson and Lewsey.)

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Roman Reigns? I mean, he'll win the big one eventually, but he's had quite a few title matches that he's not won.

 

To continue the "nations as wrestlers" theme, Samoa strike me as being like most Samoan wrestlers: Tough, always capable, but never going to be world champions. They're like the gatekeepers between the contenders and everybody else.

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  • 2 months later...

Head injuries and concussions are in the Welsh media recently due to the many major concussions suffered by George North who's not even 25, and Jonathan Thomas has retired today due to epilepsy he blames on head injuries suffered playing the game. Personally, as much as I would let him fuck my arse raw, I can't see George North playing for too many years and living past 40. His last concussion put him out for 6 months. If he picks up another big one I hope he calls it a day for his own safety. I actually often wonder why head injuries in Rugby aren't under the microscope they have been in Wrestling, the NFL and NHL.

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Things are slowly changing. At least there are protocols in place now. Before the mandatory concussion tests, guys would get concussed and play out the entire match. There are plenty of former players who admit there were games where they were concussed early and couldn't remember the rest of the game. And it's only really in the past few years that players who've suffered serious concussions are kept on the sidelines for months at a time. We have a couple of guys in the All Blacks who have suffered multiple concussions -- Read, McCaw, Conrad Smith -- and while there's an undercurrent of concern about what these guys are doing to themselves, people just want them to play, and concussions, or any other injury for that matter, are inconvenient for the rugby public. The perception was always that rugby players are tough and that a head knock wasn't supposed to phase them. It wasn't seen as an excuse for coming off. In All Black folklore, Colin Meads played on with a broken arm, Buck Shelford played on with a torn scrotum and McCaw won the World Cup on a broken foot, so what was a head knock to stop a guy from playing? I think the perception is changing and people are realising the seriousness of concussions, but it's still something where people are waiting for the medical teams to give the player a clean bill of health so he can get out there again and help his team win. There's not a lot of focus on the long term welfare of the players. In NZ, there are ex-players who suffer from concussion related problems, but they're not high profile enough to bring about any sort of change. Until a guy the stature of McCaw comes out and says he has problems, I think progress will continue to be slow.

To bring this back to wrestling, Wales' injuries on the eve of the World Cup and their Pool of Death has got to be a pro-wrestling story. My Welsh buddies at work see the irony in it, but it really is cruel.

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I was planning to skip that game as I was expecting SA to win by 40pts or so. Then I turned it on with a few minutes to go and couldn't believe how close it was. Even so it looked like heroic failure was on the cards. Giving up a near certain draw in pursuit of victory was awesome. I watched the whole game back later and SA actually scored from most of their chances, it wasn't like the result was due to outrageous fortune. Japan made way more tackles yet looked the fitter side near the finish. It won't necessarily alter the final standings in the pool, but should hopefully lead to fuller stadiums in four years time.

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The REAL World Cup Final is played tonight in that 4th rate stadium Twickenham in the 9th rate city of London rather than the 10/10 Millennium Stadium, Cardiff. Finest stadium in the world that. Especially when we sing with the roof on. It's like Danielson's The Final Countdown as 70000 people follow my signatures lead, Alun-Wyn Jones, in blasting out Mae Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau with wonderful tone and ptich.

 

So yeah. Excuse my anglophobic xenophobia after, and certainly during, the game.

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