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What If... You Kinda Hate New Japan?

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This is my project to reshape current NJPW in my image WHILE maintaining roughly 90% of the things people like about it. Some people are gone no matter what; some gaijin get rotated in, some freelancers have roles increased or decreased, nothing too deranged. Maybe some liberties will be taken with hirings, but... eh. Nothing unruly.


IF you love current NJPW, please come in here and bitch my face off. Criticism is welcome as hell, even if I end up not listening to it.


We'll be starting off, obviously, with a roster clean-up sometime later today.

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I only kinda hate it because it could be much, much better. People WILL think that I'm taking a flamethrower to it just because of its stratification during the Bushiroad era when I'm only changing some things around. That stratification is so bad in my eyes that messing with it at all is like pulling out the Jenga piece on which the whole tower is hinging.

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Like, there was a post by some idiot on a forum that Fray posted on Twitter about how since 1/5/11, that there's only been four IWGP champs and how this showed that NJ were doing a brilliant job of protecting the title and making it important. I don't think that anyone here is that absurd, but that's absolutely mindblowing thinking to me.

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Okay, so here's where the rubber will always hit the road-- who stays and who goes?


Working from faction to faction, the non-faction of the Seikigun is pretty decent. The old dudes can do old dude stuff down in the openers, the Young Lions are the Young Lions, and the people in the prime of age, with one exception, are all useful. The one who's not is Naofumi "Yoshitatsu" Yamamoto. He's just shittting all over the canvass, but he came up in the Dojo and has been through some hard stuff with injuries; we'll keep him employed but retire him. Also, creative is running a little dry for Bobby Fish, which is not his fault, but he's a victim of the company he keeps.


Now, our factions-- CHAOS is bloated and will see two cuts. Los Ingobernables are killing it. But we do have Suzukigun and Bullet Club and ooh. Gonna get real into "Bart Star", Homer Simpson Coaching Pee-Wee Football Mode:


-Roppongi Vice are just stuck. Barreta isn't a real junior and Romero has just been around for far too long. They go in the barrel with Fish.

-Takashi Iizuka, you're cut. He can be retired and kept in the fold but minus something comical like the NEW JAPAN RAMBO, I don't need to see him wrestle.

-Taichi is a waste of space. Not a Dojo kid, no attachment to him, he's cut.

-Yoshinobu Kanemaru, that all goes double for you. Cut.

-There are people who like the Killer Elite Squad, and like... whatever. I'll send WWE a glowing letter of recommendation but they're symbolic of the greatest downfall for a title within a successful company ever, the IWGP Tag Team Championship, and cannot be maintained on our staff.

-God, I hate Adam Cole.

-Cody! Nope.

-Frankie Kazarian is not to be acknowledged as we slowly tell Ring of Honor to just die already.

-I wish that Tanga Roa really was good, but he's not, and he drags down the other Tongans.

-BONE SOLDIER & Yujiro Takahashi are embarrassments. Just useless.


Chase Owens & Adam Page are fine by me. TAKA Michinoku is a legend and will be forced to be motivated. El Desperado is a Dojo kid and a lovable boy. Minoru Suzuki is Minoru Suzuki. I have... plans for the Young Bucks, and you'll be seeing a lot less of them, but won't be swiftly dumped out. Kenny Omega infuriates me, he is herpes, but really over herpes. Bad Luck Fale & Tama Tonga will stay.


Which freelancers come in... is part 2. And which companies I will just screw right over as well.

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The Young Bucks have value, but it's ever-decreasing, and as always, if you can find a native to do what a gaijin can, but for cheaper, you do. So let's say that... Dragon Gate, for example, would like usage of the Young Bucks. They're good for maintaining Western popularity. Sure. But with that, we'll need a trade. So... the Young Bucks on a 50/50 split with Eita & Kzy.


Here's an incredibly sort of scheme-ish thing to do-- Suzukigun as currently structured is reliant on a man who debuted 30 years ago. One who can still be a phenomenal performer, but is better off without having to work as many dates. But there's another Suzuki out there... one without a real main gig... who's an incredible performer and suited perfectly for this stable with a very convenient name. I'm talking about of course, Hideki Suzuki, to be the new day-to-day leader of SZKG.


Kota Ibushi & Kazushi Sakuraba are both extremely valuable but aren't going to commit to many dates a year, so why force it? Get from them what we can.


New Japan has played fast and loose on screwing around with other companies around the world. In my eyes, the most interesting promotion in Japan is DDT, and DDT, even if it's mostly a roster of junior heavyweights, is still incredibly diverse in style and character. Make nice with them again quick. If you can go into business with Dick Togo but don't, you're screwing up.


There's a LONG list of guys whom, if this was a smaller promotion that I didn't think was as ridiculous, I'd bring in because they don't have much else to do. But they'll just make occasional scattered appearances to enrich the card.

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Here's where things get more convoluted from a business perspective in my desire to have a competent version of Ring of Honor around, but let's just say that there are no real boundaries keeping any non-natives from working together in one company. Either way, I'd bring in ACH, Jack Evans, Joey Janela, & Lio Rush as new junior regulars and Donovan Dijak & Drew Galloway as new heavyweight regulars almost immediately, in addition to keeping every gaijin not listed in my cuts post.


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Okay, so RL March was actually fairly eventful for NJPW, but it doesn't change THAT much, and let's just start from a modified basis for the current Sakura Genesis card because starting with a statement is always important. The NJC happened but minus the overall result, let's just ignore it, honestly.



Kazuchika Okada © vs. Katsuyori Shibata



Tetsuya Naito © vs. Minoru Suzuki



Satoshi Kojima/Hiroyoshi Tenzan © vs. War Machine (Todd Hanson/Raymond Rowe)



Hiromu Takahashi © vs. El Desperado



Hirooki Goto © vs. Zack Sabre, Jr.



Los Ingobernables de Japon (BUSHI/Seiya Sanada/Takaaki Watanabe) © vs. Yuji Nagata/Tiger Mask IV/Tiger Mask W



Eita/Kzy vs. Los Ingobernables de America (Jack Evans/Joey Janela)



ACH/Lio Rush vs. KUSHIDA/Ryusuke Taguchi


Michael Elgin/Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Drew Galloway/Hideki Suzuki


Kenny Omega/Tama Tonga vs. Will Ospreay/YOSHI-HASHI

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Also, here is the announced lineup for BOSJ 2017:



Mike Bailey


Jushin Liger

Takuya Nomura






Guerrero Maya, Jr.

Will Ospreay

Sho Tanaka





Yohei Komatsu

Lio Rush

Hiromu Takahashi



El Desperado

Joey Janela


Dragon Lee

Ryusuke Taguchi


BLOCK E: 1st in Block A & Block C, 2nd in Block B & Block D

BLOCK F: 1st in Block B & Block D, 2nd in Block A & Block C


Final: Winner of Block E vs. Winner of Block F

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