The One-Offs of New Japan World

[William Bologna]

Makai No. 4 & Makai No. 5 Vs. Takashi Iizuka & Masahito Kakihara Jan 4 2003

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Makai Number Five.

There is a connection here. Two, actually, but only one was intentional. Makai Club was a heel stable whose manager was Kantaro Hoshino, so I thought this would be a good follow-up. Makai No. 1 was good old Junji Hirata again, but he's not in this one. Instead we get Katsuyori Shibata and Mitsuya Nagai. I don't know which one is which. There's a blue one and red one.

The other connection is that it's worked the same way as Kotetsu Yamamoto's retirement match, except this one sucks. They take turns, and it doesn't build to anything until the finish. The difference is that there's nothing interesting going on. Makai Club are bad guys (and also a vacation resort in Hawaii), but after one early misdemeanor, they barely cheat. If it weren't for the masks, you'd have no idea they were villainous or any different from anyone else. Sure, they're pretty shooty with their kickpads and all, but so is Kakihara.

There actually is a story: Back in 2001, Nagai almost killed Iizuka - it's at 9:25 here. Iizuka was in the corner, dropped down when Nagai wasn't expecting it, and caught a kickpad in the throat. It ruined a five-match NJPW vs AJPW series – since Nagai accidentally won, the final match was rendered meaningless with All Japan up 3-1. It didn't do Iizuka any good either.

So the idea is that Iizuka recognizes Makai No. Whatever as the crowbar who injured him and is out for revenge. The problem is that I had to get this story from Wikipedia - if they tried telling it in the ring, it went right over my head. I guess Iizuka's a little cranky? They do the kicks in the corner spot again, but since it doesn't almost kill Iizuka it doesn't have the same impact.

It's dull rather than bad. Kakihara looks good doing anything, so it's nice to see him get a turn. I never thought much of Nagai, but I got nothing against the other two. It's just a limp match.

Eventually the red one puts Iizuka down with a springboard knee strike from the apron, which is cool, and then we have a brawl. We do get a glimpse of Hoshino, as well as young lion Toru Yano trying to break things up. If they'd replaced the Makais with those two, this would have been worth watching.

[William Bologna]

Antonio Inoki Vs. Lefthook Dayton Apr 3, 1979

There's not much out there about Mike "Lefthook" Dayton. He seems more famous as a bodybuilder than a fighter, but he was on the cover of Inside Kung Fu magazine. He's got light gloves, long shiny pants, a pair of Asics, and the most 70s possible look: Sleazy moustache and a great big perm.

He appears to be the most qualified of Inoki's fake martial arts opponents. He jumps Inoki during the introductions, so he knows how to cheat, and he can do a little bit of everything. He's got takedown defense and grappling skills, and his strikes are either pulled more convincingly than Wepner or Monster Man could pull off, or he just doesn't give a damn and is stiffing Inoki the whole time.

We get a lot of action in the early rounds, but the crowd isn't responding as much as they should be. I really think Inoki should be selling more in these things, if only to get people invested. He does do a good job of looking worn out and even a little worried between rounds - there's a camera pointed right at his face when he takes a breather.

We didn't know as much about mixed martial arts back then as we do now. Inoki gets a rear naked choke on Dayton, who just elbows out it. Now we know you can't do that. The big offensive move that Inoki settles on is grabbing Dayton by the perm and headbutting him. It's not the most plausible thing in the match, and man does he do it a lot. Dayton uses jabs and kicks to keep his distance from the wrestler, which is perfectly logical, but Inoki can always just reach out and bonk him.

Eventually Lefthook starts bleeding, and I'd love know if this was hardway or if he somehow bladed. That couldn't have been easy with the gloves.

The basic problem here is that it goes on too long. There's a great, great sequence where Inoki catches a flying knee, works his way into a waistlock, forces Dayton's arm around his neck, and backdrops the shit out of him. The fans are going crazy, I'm going crazy, and Dayton's confused and stunned like a duck hit on the head. But then he gets up and they fight for another three rounds. If they'd wrapped it up in ten minutes it would have been five stars, but they don't have enough ideas to go as long as they did. It's just headbutt after headbutt (and we're relying on the ref doing a lousy job - a lot of these headbutts are on the ground).

Finally in round six, Dayton comes out swinging wildly but Inoki permbutts him and backdrops him twice for the KO.

This should have been the best one, but I have to put it below the Wepner and Eddy matches. Still better than I thought any of these would be.

[William Bologna]

Great-O-Khan Vs. Danny Duggan July 1, 2018

We on a world tour with Great-O-Khan
Dominating suckers all across the land
Charlotte, England, Nasvhille, Tokyo

If I'd thought ahead, I would have thrown the Bravado Bro match in here, but let's take a look at the early days of the Great-O-Khan gimmick. This is day two, and he's still called "Great-O-Kharn." But that's OK because we're at a Rev Pro show in England and it sounds the same either way.

I think I would have known he was still getting used to the gimmick even if I didn't know it. He doesn't have the facials right - he's looking down all the time, and he does his heel offense (ear-based stuff, nonchalant pins) without looking like he means it.

It's a great crowd. They're not super vocal, but they clap along for all the comebacks. They start to make noise when Duggan's about to get counted out, which prompts Kevin Kelly (annoying) to notice.

Duggan didn't make an impression. He's a young, clean-cut blue eye, but as we'll see in a bit there are better examples of this type to throw at Mr. O'Kharn, who eventually wins after a Mongolian chop from the middle rope. I liked that he did his little dance that makes the chops hurt more before he did it, but it's good that he didn't stick with this as his finisher.

As an aside, I find these UK indie matches dispiriting because there's nothing English about them other than the accent of the guy doing tired WWF heel announcing. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for, but this isn't any different than any other small show with some New Japan guys that you can see anywhere else. Is it Big Daddy's fault? Did SummerSlam 1992 ruin everything? I don't know why this is bothering me so much.

[William Bologna]

Tracer X vs. Great-O-Khan Feb 1, 2019

Great-O-Khan has had a half a year to work on the gimmick. How do we stand as we move the world tour to North Carolina?

He's worked on the look, and I wish his genetics had cooperated. He's bulked up a bit, and he's real shaggy - messy beard, lots of hair. Kind of a Masa Saito thing, and who ever looked cooler than he? These days he still has the beard, but he lost the hair. What are you going to do? I guess he could have consulted with Animal Hamaguchi.

Regarding his opponent: When I saw "Tracer X," I was expecting a mask. Probably with an X on it; maybe he's secretly the brother of Speed Tracer. Instead, we get a youth pastor.

This is a better version of the previous match. Khan looks actually pretty menacing, so his basic heel offense is effective. Tracer X is just perfect on defense. He's slim and virtuous-looking, perfectly cast to get beaten up by a hairy Mongol.

The cracks show when he gets his hope spots. He looks like he's concentrating when doing a move. He lacks sprezzatura. And at one point he tries to suplex Khan and yells, "X gonna give it to him!" I would have advised against that if he'd asked me ahead of time.

But this was rad, a confirmation of wrestling's timeless conventions. Monster heel doing heel things vs. the likeable babyface doing likeable things. It works, as the generations before us knew it would.

Tracer seems to have quit a few years ago. He had a day job and all; he probably had to make a choice. It was almost certainly the right one, but I was impressed with his work in this one.

[William Bologna]

Lex Luger vs. Masahiro Chono Jan 4, 1992

Lex Luger has the WCW title because Ric Flair quit, and he's putting it on the line against Chono here in the Tokyo Dome. Shinya Hashimoto and Kotetsu Yamamoto are on commentary.

This should be an interesting exercise. Chono always bored/annoyed the hell out of me, but the one time I saw a match from before Steve Austin broke his neck, I was impressed. Luger, universally considered a bum, has been undergoing a critical reappraisal. So let's see.

Luger comes out energetic, hitting some power moves and flexing harder than I've ever seen - I was worried he was going to bust a blood vessel. Lot of yelling, too. Chono, on the other hand, is relying on technique, and they tell an interesting story for a couple minutes. Chono evades a big move, does a drop toehold, and goes into some matwork. Luger slaps the mat in frustration as he's caught in a couple hiptosses.

This is actually the high point. Chono puts no effort into an armbar, and Luger doesn't look like it's bothering him much. They fill out the match with Chono doing bored matwork, and I find my focus beginning to wander.

Luger didn't impress me either. He doesn't appreciate tension or anticipation. Early on, they're in the corner and the ref calls for a clean break. Luger hits Chono, but it's too sudden; he doesn't put any distance between himself and Chono. It was easy to miss, and they get no reaction. Later he hits Chono with a vertical suplex, and it's too quick. There aren't all that many hot moves in this match, so that's something you should struggle with a little bit. Let it breathe.

They do finally get off the mat and do a bunch of stuff; it's OK. Chono hits a couple Yakuza kicks (probably not called that yet), which were always the only thing I liked about him, and then puts on the STF. Luger taps the mat a couple times on his way to the ropes, but this was before UFC so you could still do that.

Luger gets Chono in the torture rack (no build-up; he just hoists him), and they spill outside. Luger racks Chono for a ten count (it looks awful - he's just weakly jiggling Chono), and the crowd starts roaring as Chono barely makes it back in. Chono gets some hope spots (they don't fumble all of them) until Luger fouls him, and the boos fall like rain. Lex polishes him off with an elbow drop from the second rope. Was that a normal finisher for him? It was lame.

I didn't hate this quite as much as it sounds, and I wonder if it's owing to the atmosphere. I also reviewed the main event (Fujinami vs. Choshu), and it was better but similar: The crowd was going crazy while the stuff in the ring was putting me to sleep.

I find this curious: This is the first January 4 Dome show, and they got 50 or 60 thousand people in there, relying on WCW talent - we got Dusty and Dustin, Arn Anderson and Larry Zbyszko, El Gigante - all the brightest stars of a promotion that wasn't drawing flies back home. I didn't hear any "We want Flair!" chants. Did the New Japan fans not know how crappy WCW was in 1992?

[strobogo]

WCW was fucking awesome in 1992 though?

[Mr JMML]

WCW in 1992 was great, just watch Wargames.

[William Bologna]

My point is that they weren't very popular. They couldn't fill the Mobile Civic Center, and New Japan was relying on them to fill the Tokyo Dome.

[William Bologna]

Giant Singh vs. Chris Candido Feb 1, 2002

When I saw Candido on the list, I figured we'd get a forgotten low-card barn-burner with Liger or Minoru Tanaka or something. Instead, here's the Great Khali.

I can't explain why I like wrestling, but I can tell you a lot of things I hate about it. Here's one: Who ever loved wrestling more than Chris Candido? Who worked harder, cared more? Well, wrestling doesn't care about that. Oh, you're 5'6"? Go fuck yourself.

So here he is jerking the curtain against a seven foot tall acromegalic body builder with all the ability and charisma of a pile of laundry that somehow managed to inject itself with a bunch of steroids.

And he's a total pro about it, which makes it even more frustrating. He struts, he points to his head, and he gets all spooked and bug-eyed every time Khali does anything. He does everything he can to make this watchable and make Giant Singh look like . . . well, like a wrestler.

In fact, as much as I want to complain about this match even existing and Khali being in wrestling at all, it's pretty damn good for a four minute squash match. Khali not only doesn't kill anyone (this time), he seems like he's taking care of Candido on the several enormous bumps he takes. There's a continuum running from Andre the Giant to El Gigante (who has four matches on NJPW World!), Khali at least isn't all the way at the end.

It's not his fault that wrestling acts like a toxoplasma on some people. It takes permanent residence in their brains, they dedicate their lives to it, and it chews them up as heartlessly as any housecat presented with a terminally fearless mouse.

[William Bologna]

Antonio Inoki vs. Killer Karl Krupp May 8, 1974

I was looking forward to this, but that's because I thought it was Killer Karl Kox. But instead of the Dynamite Kid to Dick Murdoch's Chris Benoit, we get this Dutch guy who looks just like Shel Silverstein pretending to be a Nazi.

It's funny how the Nazi gimmick developed. There's nothing particularly fascist or German about putting a claw on someone's head or black tights with a red stripe, but Killer Karl is standing on the shoulders of giants (well, giant fake Nazis), using Fritz's finishing hold and von Raschke's pants.

That's a guess - I couldn't tell you exactly where the accoutrements to the Nazi gimmick came from. Maybe there's some wrestling Hannah Arendt out there who's gone through it all.

I had the wrong Killer in mind, but NJPW World has the wrong data on this match. This is the end of the 1974 World League, and we have a three-way tie, so Krupp, Inoki, and Seiji Sakaguchi are going to wrestle one another. All Japan would do this for the Carnival in 1997, and Meltzer just would not stop calling it a triangle match, leading to generations of confusion. So first we get:

Seiji Sakaguchi vs. Killer Karl Krupp May 8, 1974

Krupp is all kicks and punches, and they don't all look awful. Sometimes he gets a head of steam and it's kind of OK. I get the impression that he was a night off - nobody's getting any welts from these strikes, and when we go outside he's leaving a lot of distance between his opponent's head and the ringpost. Then there's the brain claw, the infamous torture device of the Third Reich. We spend a great deal of time trying to stay engaged while he grimaces and tries to pretend that he's holding his hand there with ill intent.

I like Sakaguchi's presence. He's big, and he comes off as serious and intense. He shows some good fire when things go chaotic. I had no idea his kid was a wrestler! He's spent his career in indies and MMA, so I guess he's not very good. He's got connections, you know?

Eventually things break down, and Krupp brings in a foreign object, which is the kind of strategic mistake that Nazis are famous for. Not only does this get him disqualified, it also gets him hit in the head with his own weapon. Oops! We move on to:

Antonio Inoki vs. Seiji Sakaguchi May 8, 1974

Neither of these guys is a one-off, so I fast forwarded. It ends when Inoki has Sakaguchi in a figure four, which he refuses to release even after they get to the ropes. What the hell, Inoki? I'm puzzled by his continual bad sportsmanship.

While they're in this vulnerable position, Krupp comes goose-stepping back with a masked guy (there's an Invader on the card, so I guess it's he) and start beating them up. Sakaguchi is all bloody from his brain being clawed and unable to continue, so finally:

Antonio Inoki vs. Killer Karl Krupp May 8, 1974

As we near 40 minutes and the competitors are motionless in the middle of the ring working the least convincing hold in wrestling, my patience leaves me. Krupp injures his clawing hand on a missed body press (awful), and Inoki stomps it and then wins with a surfboard. He gets a trophy from Vince Sr.

[William Bologna]

El Lindaman Vs. Tetsuya Izuchi July 1, 2002

Back to GLEAT. Our one-off is young Tetsuya Izuchi, challenging El Lindaman for the G-Rex Championship, which is short for "GLEATannysaurus Rex."

The big screen flashes "New Generation" as he comes out, and it's not kidding: Izuchi appears to be 12 years old and nervous. He looks like a kid dressed as a modern puroresu player for Halloween: bleach blond, tights with too much crap on them, and a big elaborate Okada robe. Everyone tried to look different and wound up looking the same. Did they get the cue from Go Shiozaki (he's the oldest guy I can think looking like this), or is this all Final Fantasy's fault?

El Lindaman, meanwhile, presents a contrast between traditional and modern. He's wearing the classic Karl Gotch black trunks and boots, juxtaposed with a genuinely preposterous tan, the same hair color as his opponent, sparkly painted fingernails, and a Paul Wall glittering grill-style mouthpiece.

Both men are wearing medals with a G on them. Izuchi has one, but E.L. is sporting two and gets another one afterwards. I don't know.

Izuchi didn't make an impression. He did a lot of kicks, and maybe they look better if you're not looking for the thigh slaps. He has a way to go with making us believe.

On the other hand, El Lindaman is a damn star, and there's no one else quite like him. He throws himself around like a mahogany cannonball, and when he takes a big bump (often off his own move), he SCREAMS. His offense is convincing, his body language is compelling, and he even brings some whimsy with him. He's constantly talking - like, full sentences. I don't know what they mean, but I agree with all of them regardless.

The difference in facials is enormous. E.L. presents as all-in on everything he's doing. If he's looking to hurt the guy, he has the eyes of a predator. If he's working through self-inflicted back pain, you feel it. Izuchi has that "I'm concentrating on doing a wrestling move" face that takes me out of things.

I liked this, but I wouldn't call it great. They had a chance to do something after Izuchi hurt his leg (he kicked the ringpost when Linda ducked), but they didn't stick with it. It was entertaining seeing the ref constantly stomping the mat after something got dislodged on a suplex. When they were both down, I thought he was trying to get some heat on himself before I realized what he was doing.

El Lindaman wins with a series tiny feats of strength (he's much shorter than Izuchi). The challenger tries a jumping knee in the corner; Linda hoists and throws him. He hits Izuchi with a deadlift German, and a bit later catches a strike, rolls him around on the mat, and tiger suplexes him for the pin. His suplexes are very impressive.

I'm going to need to do some El Lindaman research, because I find myself entranced by this weirdo.

[William Bologna]

Tiger Mask vs. Ultraman June 18, 1982

How is Tiger Mask supposed to defend his WWF Junior title against Ultraman? Dynamite Kid was a challenge, but he couldn't make himself building-sized or shoot laser beams.

For whatever reason, Ultraman decides to take it easy on the champ. He doesn't do any of his signature kaiju-battling moves, and in fact he seems incapable of doing anything.

They have one of those 80s juniors matches - matwork, run real fast, matwork - with a twist: They screw up pretty much everything. Twelve minutes of them bonking off each other.

The last straw comes when Ultra does to the top for a cross body block and slips through Tiger Mask's hands. I've never seen a reaction like Sayama's here. He looks at his empty hands and crumples. He seems genuinely sad that Ultraman isn't safe in his arms. Then he picks him up and Germans him for the win.

What a mess. One of wrestling's fun facts is that Satoru Sayama, who got famous using as unrealistic a style as possible (i.e., dressing like a cartoon and doing flips), had a second act as an apostle of shoot style, the antithesis of all things Tiger Maskish. My new theory is that it was the trauma from this debacle that led to his transformation. Whatever it took, Sayama had to make sure that he'd never again be called upon to catch clumsy Mexicans.

[William Bologna]

Rambo Sakurada Vs. Konga The Barbarian Oct 11, 1985

Unprecedented: This is a double fake one-off. Konga the Barbarian is better known by his real name, the Barbarian. Sakurada, in a rare instance of double cultural appropriation, is the other Kendo Nagasaki. He has a handful of NJPW World appearances in this guise.

Sakurada has some stones calling himself "Rambo." He looks like the albino from The Princess Bride got ahold of some hair dye.

Konga is definitely more Ramboed out (to the point that he's out of breath for the duration of the match), but good lord he's awful. Nothing makes a man look less fearsome than hesitation, and K.T.B. wrestles this match like he's afraid to hurt anyone's feelings. When he picks up Sakurada, he pauses as if he's getting affirmative consent for each bodyslam. He's tentative even when he grabs a chair from the ref so he can hit a guy with it. He gets on all fours and does some headbutts that make him look like a dog that wants to snuggle.

Konga finally musters enough barbarism to tree of woe Sakurada in the corner and stomp him until he gets disqualified. I don't know how this crossed the line when the ref had already watched Konga hit Sakurada with a chair, choke him with it, and piledrive him upon it. 

The Barbarian was, if not a rookie, still pretty early on in his career. I'm guessing he grew into the gimmick. Rambo was out there trying to get his ass kicked, but at this point Konga wasn't quite up to it.

[William Bologna]

Shinya Hashimoto & Kensuke Sasaki vs. The Barbarian & Meng Mar 8, 1997

Barbarian has been barbarianing for over a decade since we last saw him. Has he gotten any better?

Yeah, I think so, but no one should go watch this match to find out for themselves. With this lineup, you're expecting a slobberknocker, but take my word that everyone's slobber remains untouched. 

Everyone's taking it pretty easy. Barb does a "come on, kick me!" spot, and Hashimoto barely makes contact. He and Sasaki do the thing where each guy grabs a leg on a downed Face of Fear and wrenches it, and they don't even try to coordinate it. 

Barbarian does turn a botch into an impressive spot. The FoFs try an assisted powerbomb, it goes wrong, but Barb just hoists the guy up and powerbombs him anyway.

It looks like things are starting to heat up, but then Meng puts his head down and gets DDTed for the finish.

Come on, guys. This isn't Wrestle Kingdom or anything, but it is the main event and went on TV. They worked like they were jerking the curtain.

[William Bologna]

Reno Scum vs. Juice Robinson & David Finlay Feb 16, 2021

Reno Scum, Adam Thornstowe and Luster the Legend, are our double one-offs this time out, and the Impact announcers are doing them no favors. The first thing we learn about them is that one is a 19 year pro, and other one has 21 years. If you've wrestled for 40 years combined and I've barely heard of you, that makes me think you're not any good.

The second thing we learn is that they were trained by Mustafa Saed. Which, you know, if you want to be the very best at making goofy faces while New Jack says all the worst things he can think of, then Mustafa's your guy. I wouldn't go to him for any other facet of the game. I had a bad feeling.

But I needn't have worried! Reno Scum did a fine job. It was a short match, but they did a nice job beating up Finlay until he could make the hot tag. I like that their offense wasn't too babyfaced. They even did a pit stop on poor Finlay.

Speaking of whom, I don't know. He and Juice come out and all your attention is on Juice. I was skeptical when they made him whatever you call the leader of the Bullet Club, and I don't think I've been proven wrong. He's not bad at anything, but I don't see star power.

Finlay and Robinson win a match that was all action but much too short, and then Gallows and Anderson come out to make insider jokes, which Juice responds to awkwardly (maybe not fair - he's still out of breath). Decent match, terrible segment.

I don't know what happened to Reno Scum. They're gone from Impact and don't seem to be doing much of anything.

[William Bologna]

Seiji Sakaguchi Vs. The Wild Samoan No. 1 Dec 29, 1980

Everything about this is dumb.

Before the match starts, Wild Samoan No. 1 and his corner man (I'm assuming Wild Samoan No. 2) beat each other up for a little bit. These Samoans are wild!

WS#1 and Sakaguchi do pretty much nothing for five minutes until they collide, sending the wilder and more Samoan of the two competitors to the outside. This creates an opening for the old Samoan Switcheroo as Wild Samoan No. 2 comes in starts working on Sakaguchi.

But they're just too wild for their own good: Instead of letting the fresh (and wild) man press the advantage, #1 also gets in the ring and stomps the now-outnumbered Sakaguchi. They are not disqualified for this, so Antonio Inoki comes in to the even the odds. We're at Madison Square Garden for this, and Inoki gets a pretty decent reaction. Was he popular with this crowd? Maybe they just hated Samoans.

After all this brawling, Howard Finkel informs us that the referee has ruled it a draw, which makes no sense whatsoever.

Lots of New Japan on this card. Inoki has a match later; Yoshiaki Yatsu and Tatsumi Fujinami wrestle as well.

Cagematch has this is a double DQ, by the way, but I heard Howard Finkel himself call it a draw. What the hell, Cagematch?

[Al]

Good a place as any to note. Njpw upgraded their service but in the process their archives are gone and will take a year to migrate everything to the new service. Absolutely devastating.

[William Bologna]

Yeah, this is lousy. They really lost a lot of stuff - there's only one Dick Murdoch match on the service now, for instance. I'm worried that they're never going to bring back the tag system.