William Bologna

April 1990 Power Rankings Tenryu completes the sweep. Four out of four. What are we going to talk about without him? Macho Queen Sherri Martel Macho King Randy Savage Stan Hansen Hell, I don't know. Let's give it to Tito Santana

Jake Roberts vs. Big Bossman I like Bossman. His punches are great, as are his big husky boy bumps. He has fun cartoon offense, like standing on Jake’s back. He had a brief AJPW run later, and if he’d stuck around I think he would have been an asset. He’s getting big heel reactions here too, just from stepping on Jack and making mean faces. He grinds down Jake for a long time until he goes to the top rope and misses a splash. He doesn’t land great, but he rolls his big ass all the way across the ring and falls out. A for effort. Jake fires up for a while, but then Bossman maybe reverses a running knee? I don’t know what was supposed to happen there, but it doesn’t stop Jake from getting the DDT out of nowhere and putting a snake on his opponent. I don’t know, I loved this. Nice change of pace. They got some big reactions, too. I don’t think they were the sarcastic Ultimate Warrior cheers. That’s it for the Pro Wrestling Summit. I didn’t watch any of the New Japan stuff, but it was a fun show. It’s kind of odd that most of it was AJPW vs. WWF, and then there were a couple entirely NJPW matches in there. I wonder if this piqued the WWF’s interest in the market. They got in cahoots with Tenryu and SWS pretty quick after this, and they seemed pretty enthusiastic about it.

Bret Hart vs. Tiger Mask This is famous for being a retroactive dream match that let everyone down. I’m having to improvise with the TV coverage, so I’m getting the full 20 minutes. I am again a victim of my expectations. Hansen vs. Hogan was supposed to be great, and I thought it was just OK. This is supposed to be awful, but it wasn’t. That’s not to say it was good. Most of the stuff they did looked fine, better than fine even. Misawa launched a couple planchas, and they looked great. But it didn’t hold your focus. Highspot, arm work, highspot, headlock. And the finish really does come out of nowhere. There were no announcements that time was running out, and they weren’t doing anything in particular when the bell rang. I was expecting worse, but I’m not going to be telling anyone to watch it.

All Japan TV April 29, 1990 This is the end of the Champion Carnival tour, and you may have noticed that it lacked a Champion Carnival. It went on hiatus through most of the 1980s, and they pick it up again next year. Jumbo Tsuruta vs. Genichiro Tenryu (Triple Crown title match) Tenryu’s 1990 ends as it began. Back in January, Isao Takagi waylaid him on his way to the ring; this time Stan Hansen does the same. He chokes Tenryu with his rope and then just brutalizes him with a lariat. Tenryu was still in the corner, so there’s nowhere for his head to go but straight into the turnbuckle. It had me seeing stars. Jumbo chases off Stan with one of his belts. Hansen gets on the mic and demands the match. “I’m the number one contender!” Jumbo goes to check on Tenryu, who’s slumped in the corner, and Tenryu slaps him! I popped for this. Jumbo is pissed! The match is Tenryu trying to hang onto consciousness while Jumbo cuts off his comebacks. He’s so good at selling. Tsuruta knocks him silly with a high kick, and it’s just perfect. Top rope enzuigiri and Tenryu finally gets an opening. Yokohama is chanting his name. The flaw at this point is that they try a bunch of fancy Hart-style rollup reversal stuff, and they’re real bad at it. Tenryu ducks a Thesz press and drops Jumbo’s throat on the rope, and it’s clunky as hell. But then they start beating each other again until Tenryu goes down to two backdrops. I loved this. It had great character work from all three guys, intensity, and historical significance. That’s it for Tenryu, his last All Japan match for ten years. Obviously, we have hindsight and know that things worked out, but this must have seemed like a disaster at the time. So far in 1990, the TV has been built around: Tenryu getting real mad at Jumbo’s flunkies. Tenryu hurting his leg, losing the tag titles, and getting stomped by Stan Hansen. The glittering stars of the World Wrestling Federation. He’s been out there every week busting his ass, selling like crazy, and getting everything over. When did they know he was leaving? It seems insane to build everything around a guy on his way out. Google tells me he gave notice around the time of the Summit; that would explain it. Super World of Sport doesn’t start running until September, and the rest of the guys stick around for a while. Honestly, a lot of those defections were addition by subtraction, but I’m going to miss Tenryu. At least he upheld the time-honored tradition in the wrestling business by getting his ass kicked on the way out. The same cannot be said of one of the participants in our next match . . .

Greg Valentine vs. Great Kabuki They really front-loaded the TV from the Summit. Week 1 we get Jumbo, Tenryu vs. Savage, and Baba and Andre. Week 2 we get this. Greg Valentine treats us to some stylistic dissonance. He's in his Rhythm & Blues Honky Tonk Man regalia, but he comes out to "The Look" by Roxette, which ain't exactly Carl Perkins (or even Jimmy Hart). Dubbed commentary mentions that “He formed a team with Honky Tonkman,” like it’s a normal last name. There's a fair amount of standing around and hitting each, but that's what these two are good at. Valentine is selling the hell out of Kabuki’s punches - we get a Flair flop and everything. Kabuki whips Valentine into the turnbuckle. He jumps at him, but Valentine gets out of the way and Kabuki tree of woes himself. I’ve never seen that before. Shane McMahon has to rescue him, and the commentary talks about how he looks like Vince. Valentine repeatedly does this goofy half-ass Honky Tonkman dance. “That’s a signature pose. But it’s an unpleasant pose.” Brother, ain’t that the truth. Valentine tries for a figure four, but Kabuki rolls him up for the win. Solid. These guys are pros.

All Japan TV April 22, 1990 Masanobu Fuchi/Kenta Kobashi vs. Jimmy Snuka/Tito Santana You don't think of Tito Santana in Japan, but he did an AJPW tour in 1978 and an NJPW tour in 1980. I didn't know this - in the 70s he went by Dick Blood, which is Ricky Steamboat's real name. A couple of people are credited with giving him the name; it's possible that more than one person decided it was such a cool name we shouldn't waste it. Shane McMahon is the ref, which I probably wouldn’t have noticed except that the announcer mentioned it. Tito’s bigger than I pictured him. He’s taller than Kobashi. His punches aren't any good, but other than that I was impressed. He's playing the heel, picking on young Kenta, taunting Fuchi, and vaunting himself. This wasn't his normal role, but he's good at it. Fuchi and Snuka are barely in this (the latter of which is fine by me). Fuchi gives Santana his comeuppance by punching him in the head about 20 times. Snuka gets the win with a splash on Fuchi. Fun match. Tito and Kobashi were great.

Hulk Hogan vs. Stan Hansen One other thing I like that Mel Phillips did - he gets bowled over by Stan Hansen pre-match. Other than that, you do not, under any circumstances, “gotta hand it to him.” Hogan tries some of “Hogan in Japan” grappling, but Hansen isn’t going along with it. This is very much a Stan Hansen match. He isn’t planning shit, and he isn’t calling shit. He’s just hitting you. This is for the best, because while “Hogan in Japan” grappling is pretty lame (he later puts on an abdominal stretch like he’s only ever had it described to him), “Hogan in Japan” hitting guys really hard is excellent. This is all set to be something great, but I just didn’t like it much. My biggest problem is that they kept leaving the ring, to the point that it was really distracting. They’d roll in, do one thing, and it’s right back out. It seems ridiculous now that I’m typing it out, but it really bothered me! They work hard and do all kinds of outré stuff out there. They both wind up bleeding. Eventually Hulk blocks a lariat, Stan dodges a legdrop, and then Stan goes down to a kind of cruddy axe bomber. It would have been better with a full rope run. My expectations were too high. It’s definitely an interesting match, but I wouldn’t say it’s a good one.

Giant Baba/Andre the Giant vs. Demolition Backstage interview. Baba answers three consecutive questions with “so desu ne.” He wasn't exactly Steve Austin on the stick. There's no point in, like, reviewing this match. The big old guys hit their highspots, the paying fans are loving it, and it would be churlish to give it a star rating. It is surprising that Demolition are the punching bags here - they are the current WWF tag team champions. I guess they figured no one back home would see it. Baba got a full-on Meltzer five boy four years after this. It's funny - he looks capable of nothing, but then you watch something like Tenryu/Hansen vs. Baba/Kimura. He's not any more active or sprightly. He's not pulling out stuff he doesn't normally do, but it just works. Smart worker, that Giant Baba.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Ted DiBiase The Tokyo Dome fans are treated to a WWF Heavyweight Title match. The Warrior won it off of Hogan a couple weeks ago in Toronto. It's funny how this is just a WWF match taking place in Japan. Ted is in full Million Dollar Man regalia; he’s got the jacket and the Million Dollar Belt, and we’ve got the music playing. Earl Hebner's the ref. Warrior runs down to the ring as usual, except the setup is weird and it's kind of an obstacle course for him. This match is famous for the Dome fans going full Baltimore and getting real sarcastic with the fake cheers. That is the highlight. It's too bad they wasted DiBiase on this. He's another one who could go when he needed to, and I bet he could have had a fun match with Yatsu or Taue or someone. So anyway Warrior wins pretty quick and let's move on.

Randy Savage vs. Genichiro Tenryu Randy Savage was good at pro wrestling. He comes in here with a crowd that doesn't know a lot about him (this may be his first ever match in Japan), and by God he got himself over with his bizarre charisma and cassowary body language. There's no one else like him (this is before Jay Lethal). He also has help in the form of Sensational Queen Sherri, who is just ridiculously good in this. She's got the crown and the facepaint and the screams, and she's going to cheat like AJPW fans have never seen. The match starts with several minutes of bullshit (I mean that in a good way) until Tenryu finally chops the hell out of Savage and the crowd just loses it. This is what they came for. Sherri, as I mentioned before, cheats like hell. She's always hitting Tenryu to allow Savage to ambush him. She starts shit with the guys behind the table. She takes off her shoes, hits Tenryu with one, and then runs over and puts them back on while smiling and waving at the ref. We do get the Savage special - he takes most of the match (thanks to Sherri!), but Tenryu kicks out of the elbow and then hits a couple moves and wins. The crowd loved it but not more than I did. This is exactly what you wanted if you bought a ticket, right? Take your favorite All Japan Pro Wrestler and put him in the cartoon world of the WWF. Tenryu, whom I haven't mentioned much because he's not wearing a crown and screaming and flirting with the ref after he cheats, plays it perfectly. He's doing the Savage match, but he's outside of the Savage match. This is the best thing on the card (spoilers for me not liking the Hogan/Hansen match all that much), and it actually makes the Jumbo match look a little flat. Tsuruta had two WWF heels to interact with, and he didn't give the audience a novel experience. Five stars for each of the three participants. Fifteen stars. I have never appreciated a heel valet so much.

All Japan TV April 15, 1990 It's the Wrestling Summit in Tokyo Dome! The Tokyo Dome itself, a sci-fi anime-esque sentient entity, wanted butts in seats, and it pulled out all the stops on this one. New Japan is here! All Japan is here! And most spicily of all, the World Wrestling Federation is sending its brightest stars! Jumbo Tsuruta/King Haku vs. Rick Martel/Curt Hennig I'd heard of Mel Phillips, and never for anything good. I can't say I had a sharp picture of him in my mind, but I never would have guessed that he was a black guy who sounded just like Howard Finkel. He does a good job with "Tsuruta." Please do not construe this as an endorsement of anything else he ever did. I like this heel team. WWF didn't really do teams like this, but it feels correct for Perfect and Martel to be working together. Two former AWA champs who can go but don't usually need to because of their goofy but fun WWF gimmicks. The crowd is very hot for Jumbo. Big pop for his music, the arm in the air, and the jumping knee (play by play: "“Jumping knee in the Tokyo Dome!!!!” No dubbing on this one. He said that in Japanese English). You can tell that Jumbo and the heels aren't used to working with each other. Hennig pump fakes on a punch that he’s waiting for Jumbo to reverse, and there's some other awkwardness. I haven't seen a Model Rick Martel match in a while, but I can't imagine he was usually this much of flyer. He hits a big huricanrana on Haku. Later he tries it again, but Haku drops him face-first onto the turnbuckle. In fact, it is Martel’s insistence on repeating high spots and vaunting himself that leads to his team’s undoing. Earlier, he vaulted over the top rope and hit Haku with a really impressive body press. He tries it again from the second rope but has to show off before he launches himself. Haku gets his knees up and tags in Jumbo, who wins quickly. One note on Jumbo: He's Jumbo and everything he does is great, but he really has been taking it easy. He generally comes in, knee bats four or five times, and throws the arm up to get a reaction. As far as faction leaders, the comparison with Tenryu is stark: Tenryu has been working rings around him. Not just in terms of moves and ring time, either. Tenryu's been the most important guy in the promotion, getting over feuds with Jumbo's subalterns and selling the hell out of his leg to create narratives. Jumbo's been coasting. I gather he steps it up once the Misawa feud kicks off.

Jumbo Tsuruta/Akira Taue vs Terry Gordy/Steve Williams This is what you think of when you think of a Gordy/Williams match. Everyone hits one another hard and often, and they all look very tired by the end. I didn't hate it. The Americans are more interesting when they’re not just running people over, and Taue did some real good work. Gordy flings Jumbo out of the ring - Jumbo gets some serious air on this - and assists on an Oklahoma Stampede to get the win. It hurt more because Gordy was pressing down. Postmatch, Taue compares it being squished back in his sumo days by Konishiki, who weighed over 600 pounds.

Shunji Takano/Shinichi Nakano vs Stan Hansen/Dan Spivey I wonder who’s winning this one. Not much to say. Hansen lets Nakano beat him up more than I would have expected, but he gets him back in the end. Nakano takes a lariat and a pin, then he gets strangled with a rope.

All Japan TV April 8th, 1990 Rusher Kimura/Mighty Inoue vs Genichiro Tenryu/Toshiaki Kawada You gotta see Kawada's pants in this. His Footloose attire is always fanciful, but he's taking it to a new level. I can’t even describe it. They’re divided vertically into different colors, two in the front and two in the back; blue and purple in the front, yellow and orange on the back. I’m not good with colors. Maybe one of these is a taupe or fuschia or something. I wonder if he still has them Kawada's getting better. He looks real mean in this one. He does that thing where he kicks a guy in the face, coolly observes the effects, and kicks him again. He’s better when he’s not running, and the Footloose are always doing Irish whips. He’s been teaming with Tenryu for years, but this is the first team he’s acted like him. Kimura is decrepit but I like him. He looks like he used to be a great wrestler, although it’s not clear that he was. They bash at his scarred forehead until he starts bleeding (this starts outside the ring while he’s on all fours, so I think he did it to himself). Back in the ring, they continue to pick on the old man until Inoue gets frustrated enough that he gets in there with a chair and pops Kawada a couple times right in the ring with the ref watching. How is that not a DQ? Tenryu and Kawada are doing a double kick thing. Tenryu enzuigiris the back of head (otherwise it wouldn't be an enzuigiri, would it?) while Kawada spin kicks the face. They're more accurate with it than I would have guessed. One of these and a spike powerbomb puts Rusher down. These undercard Tenryu tag matches always have a fun wrinkle. He keeps it interesting.

Jumbo Tsuruta, Akira Taue & Shunji Takano vs. Stan Hansen, Danny Spivey & David Sammartino Our final and most puzzling debut is David Sammartino. He’s in really good shape, but he’s dwarfed by his partners. Kinda looks like Ivan Putski from a distance. They give him absolutely nothing. Tsuruta bodyslams him over and over like he’s trying to break up a bag of ice. Sammartino goes for a snapmare on Taue, who just refuses to do it. Of course he takes the fall, and afterwards Stan stomps him a couple times! That was harsh. The differences in skill among these competitors is fully on display. It’s good when Hansen’s in, and it’s pretty good with Jumbo. With any other pairing you can see the seams. There is no reason to watch this.