The One-Offs of New Japan World

[William Bologna]

Riki Choshu & Animal Hamaguchi Vs. Elijah Akeem & Kareem Muhammad Mar 30, 1984

It's the Zambuie Express! This isn't a real interesting story, but as a youth I got a book about wrestling from the library. It was probably ten years out of date and not very interesting, but I remember an article about the Zambuie Express. I loved the name and the image of these two enormous fat guys in Fidel Castro revolutionary guerilla fatigues.

Only now do I get around to watching them, and as a bonus I get to see Animal Hamaguchi. I've seen one (1) Hamaguchi match, and I came to two conclusions:

1. He's great.
2. He's wearing a toupée.

Let's see if those conclusions hold up in the face of the Zambuie Express.

This is one of your good Korakuen crowds. Streamers everywhere and lots of noise. They don't even necessarily pop for the stuff you'd think. They're just excited in general.

Choshu comes out hot, but once he tags out Animal is thoroughly manhandled. The Express is not great at it. Lots of bad punches, clunky Irish whips, and lean-based offense. They're actually fun on defense. We get these huge, awkward, dangerous-looking bumps. They really are big, so when they fall down it means something.

One Zambuier prepares Animal for a Boston crab, but he's obviously waiting for what comes next. Choshu comes in, bounces off the ropes twice, and lariats him. Riki's clothesline are normally pretty bad, but he was moving so fast here that it looked great. Kareem or Elijah rolls outside, Choshu's guys commence to clubbering him, and the bell rings. I'm not sure about the cheating here. The Express didn't actually do anything very dastardly. Maybe they were acting naughty to set up the post-match angle.

The Zambuie Express was in the main event, but they're incidental to the main event of the main event: Hamaguchi hands Choshu a microphone, and he starts yelling at Tatsumi Fujinami, who's there all of a sudden, shirtless, furious, barefoot, and wearing jeans. Choshu and Fujinami lock up and repeatedly try to fight, but the Choshunistas and Kengo Kimura keep them mostly apart. I wonder if they'll have a singles match - what a novelty that would be!

It's hard to judge much in a seven minute match, but I don't there's anything surprising here. Ray Candy and Leroy Brown were never known as ring generals, and nothing here argued against that judgment. Hamaguchi looked good again, and I still think his hair's a work.

It is interesting that we had two of wrestling's great trainers in the match: Ray Candy (Kareem Muhammad) trained Kane. Animal Hamaguchi trained Tetsuya Naito, Shingo Takagi, Tomoaki Honma, Satoshi Kojima, Shinjiro Otani, BUSHI, Ikuto Hidaka, and KAI, among others. Oh and Candy also trained New Jack!

[William Bologna]

Shinjiro Otani Vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri Jan 4, 1997

Speaking of Animal Hamaguchi trainees, here are two of them. The one-off is Yoshihiro Tajiri. Tajiri's a guy who's gone everywhere and done everything, so it's surprising that this is his only appearance. A trip to Cagematch makes this even more puzzling: This Dome show is a one-off, but he was in the Super Juniors later this year, plus the G1 in 2009, plus he was in the tag league in 2010 . . . and his partner was Hiroshi Tanahashi. None of that made tape.

Looking at the year tags on NJPW World, it turns out that 2010 was the last of the Dark Ages. The number of 2010 matches is exceeded by every year in the 90s and a lot of the 80s as well. Things pick up after that. The service has 30 matches from 2010, while 2022 checks in with 2,527.

Tajiri is best known as a dissipated madman who cheats as a matter of course and spits mist at people, a gimmick (or is it a gimmick? Those bags under his eyes were legit) he developed during a long sojourn in the U.S. Here, however, he's still a fresh-faced youngster in trunks and kickpads, representing Big Japan Pro Wrestling. This is his second stint; he started in IWA, for whom he once picked up Mick Foley from the airport.

Otani works the match as if he has all the advantages, which is exactly what he should do. He's on his home ground, he's a New Japan thoroughbred up against an indy guy, and he's a head taller. So the cocky dickhead approach he takes to this match not only makes sense but also gets big reactions from the crowd, who are torn between cheering the home team and rooting for the plucky underdog.

I approve of the early match: Otani does the "too slow" bit on an attempted handshake, and then Tajiri kicks him for two minutes. We now have our story: Perhaps Otani has underestimated this plucky youngster! Tajiri is - and would remain- very good at kicking, but he is a little green. His transitions from move to move are just a little clunky.

Otani takes over, and I was reminded of the things I never liked about the New Japan juniors. Having been kicked many times, he acts as if he'd never been kicked at all. His movements are just too crisp. I was afraid that this would ruin the rest of the match, but he does eventually start selling.

I enjoyed this sequence: Otani tried his springboard dropkick, but Tajiri blocked it. Later, Otani is on the apron, and Tajiri tries a high kick. Otani grabs the leg for a cross-rope leg hold. The ref releases Tajiri, and Otani then hits him stumbling with the dropkick. The audience, infamously uninterested in junior matches at the Tokyo Dome, has been responding to everything, and they loved this.

But then someone hit the mute button on them. There was a botch: Tajiri tried a top rope hurricanrana but slipped. I think he handled it well. He slapped Otani in the face, went back up there, and got it done. But it seemed to take the crowd and Otani right out of it. Otani wins with a few more moves, which he performs perfunctorily and without the boasting with which he'd been punctuating everything else.

Young Tajiri was a lot of fun, and his blend of shooty kicks and submissions, flying, and goofiness reminded me of Kushida, whom he had a hand in training. There aren't many wrestlers I like more than Kushida. Otani brought real dickhead charisma and flawless execution - that dropkick spot worked because his dropkick looks like something you'd do anything to avoid.

[William Bologna]

 Rhett Titus Vs. Minoru Suzuki Apr 1, 2022 ROH World TV Championship Match

I live in Maryland, and I've been to a lot of ROH shows. Not any of the good ones, mind you. My history with ROH is like picking up the Simpsons in season 15 and never going back to the good stuff. I've never seen Samoa Joe, but I've seen plenty of Rhett Titus.

Titus is (obviously) the one-off here and your Ring of Honor World Television Champion. The challenger is Minoru Suzuki in the midst of a Bob Dylan-esque late career world tour. He's in his 50s, but all of a sudden everyone loves him, so he travels hither and yon, giving the crowd his greatest hits (demanding everyone sing along with his song, armbar in the ropes, strike exchanges and evil grimaces).

I hope I don't sound dismissive, because I'm all for it. A Suzuki match is a master class in doing more with less. He can't do this forever, but it's been going on longer than it has any right to.

Presence is a funny thing. Look at these two competitors: One is taller, younger, and in better shape, but it's the other one you wouldn't want to fight. Suzuki pretty much squashes Titus, and my reaction is, “Well of course he did. Look at him!”

I don't want to be hard on Rhett Titus. He's been at this for years, and his physique suggests more dedication than I've ever had to anything (he's in too good of shape. He'd look better if he got his body fat percentage out of the negative), but the wrestling world has decided that Titus is at a certain level, and that's exactly how Suzuki approaches this match.

By which I mean, he does the greatest hits, shrugs off a dropkick that Caprice Coleman had been trying to get over as devastating, and takes the title in six minutes.

Which seems odd, but this is the first event of the new AEW ROH, and there's no way Tony Khan isn't as big a Minoru Suzuki fan as me or any of the other extremely online wrestling obsessives yelling “Kaze Ni Nare.”

[William Bologna]

Kazunari Murakami & Yuki Ishikawa vs. Kenso Suzuki & Hiroshi Tanahashi Jan 4, 2002

Ishikawa is the one-off here, but there's much to say about him. He rolls around on the mat for a while and does nothing of note. His partner, Murakami, is a shooty guy with Taiyo Kea's body and a remarkably evil face.

Facing them are "Kings of the Hills," a couple of near-rookies trying to capitalize on the popularity of an American animated sitcom. The Marty Jannetty of this team is Kenso Suzuki, a former rugby player. Rugby could open some doors for you in Japanese pro wrestling, plus it gives you a crappy moveset to get started with.

We start with Ishikawa and Tanahashi grappling. I guess Tanahashi was leaning pretty hard into the amateur wrestler thing early in his career - he's got the little wrestler shoes on and everything. Once he tags out to Suzuki, you stop wondering why one of these guys won the title eight times and the other didn't. Suzuki hits a German suplex and then doesn't know what to do. When Murakami boxes with him, he ducks and weaves in such a way that he looks exactly like Keanu Reeves in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Then they grapple for a while (boring) until Murakami feeds Suzuki some power spots, which climax in a tackle because of rugby. Tanahashi comes in for the finish, which is the only memorable part.

Murakami backhands Suzuki right off the apron. He and Tanahashi rassle until Murakami MMAs him with some ground and pound. This provokes Tanahashi into an unwise exchange: They throw fists wildly at each other until the shooter scores with a clean punch and kicks the downed future ace in the head for the knockout.

Odd match. Very little happens for almost all of it, and then everything happens suddenly. The crowd is dead silent up until then, as was I. Ishikawa might as well not have been there. There was a solid story (the shooter goads the wrestler into shooting), but it wasn't told in a compelling way.

[William Bologna]

Dan Devine & Osamu Nishimura Vs. Kenso Suzuki & Hiroshi Tanahashi Feb 1, 2002

It's a month later, and the Kings of the Hills are back in action. This is their very next match, in fact.

The one-off is Dan Devine, who was pretty mysterious until I realized I was spelling his name wrong. His pro wrestling names include this dumb one, Dan Factor, and Dan Faquir. His real name is Dan Faqir, and he used it while winning a Pac-10 wrestling title at 190 lbs. for Arizona State University and eventually becoming a chiropractor. Here is having a competitive match with Alex Wright on one of the last episodes of WCW Worldwide.

Let's see if anything has changed for the Kings since we last saw them.

One thing that changed: Tanahashi no longer has his little wrestler shoes (maybe Devine is borrowing them), but he still works like he does.

Their MO, however, has not: Tanahashi wrestles, and then Suzuki comes in to do awkward power moves.

I wonder if Kenso didn't watch a lot of wrestling before he got in the business. He misses things that seem obvious to me. Such as when he and Devine lock up and go to the corner, and Tanahashi tags in. Tanahashi is waiting for Suzuki to do something tag teamish - hold up an arm so he can hit Devine in the ribs or something. But Suzuki seems lost in thought has he just holds his opponent against the ropes. The ref tries to break them up, but Suzuki is wool-gathering.

He's just as clueless when the tables are turned. Devine tags in Nishimura but remains in the ring to press the advantage, as is traditional in tag team wrestling. But Kenso just Keanus away and we restart. I would think he'd never been in a tag match before except that I just watched one.

The fun here is with Nishimura and Tanahashi. Osamu Nishimura does all the fancy grappling that you want to see if you want to see Osamu Nishimura, and Tanahashi keeps up with him pretty well. He isn't Owen Hart in there, but he doesn't embarrass himself. Then Kenso lumbers in to do some stomps and bodyslams.

Unlike the last bout, we get a normal tag team finish with kickouts and the partners fighting outside and all. Suzuki bounces off the ropes, and Nishimura catches him in a sudden sleeper hold. This is great, but Suzuki, after looking like he's out cold, can't be bothered to sell it any further. Tanahashi and Nishimura head outside, and Devine hits a typical turn of the century overelaborate bodyslam to pick up the win.

Devine had potential. He wasn't real polished, but with his gimmick maybe he shouldn't have been. He brought convincing viciousness and a hell of a physique. It's not like you need a reason to quit this terrible industry, but it couldn't have helped that he came up right when half the jobs disappeared. It's probably better for him that he focused on helping the backs of others rather than ruining his own.

It's impossible to do this without hindsight, but I think I would have figured Tanahashi for stardom (not Stardom). He's got size and a great look, and he's a great face in peril in these matches. He can fill time effortlessly, and he's smooth. My heart sinks every time he tags in Suzuki.

What happened to Kings of the Hill? Well, Tanahashi broke up with a young lady, and she stabbed him. This may have turned out worse for Suzuki than for the man stabbed. Tanahashi got some time off and came back more beloved than ever. Suzuki, meanwhile, quit NJPW to join some dumbass Riki Choshu vanity project, had a WWE run that no one liked, and wound up in All Japan. Maybe he got good at some point, but if so the news never got back to me.

[Ma Stump Puller]

1 hour ago, William Bologna said:

 

 

What happened to Kings of the Hill? Well, Tanahashi broke up with a young lady, and she stabbed him. This may have turned out worse for Suzuki than for the man stabbed. Tanahashi got some time off and came back more beloved than ever. Suzuki, meanwhile, quit NJPW to join some dumbass Riki Choshu vanity project, had a WWE run that no one liked, and wound up in All Japan. Maybe he got good at some point, but if so the news never got back to me.

He had a Triple Crown title match with Suwama that was so bad that Suwama post-match had to apologise to the crowd

If that doesn't tell you everything you need to know then I'm not sure what will

 

[William Bologna]

Antonio Inoki Vs. Chuck Wepner Oct 25, 1977

Time for another installment in the pleasantest surprise in the history of wrestling, Antonio Inoki Proves He's Stronger Than That Stupid Giant Baba by Beating Every Fighter in the World! Today's competitor is actually pretty famous. Chuck Wepner was a journeyman boxer with a day job who reeled off a bunch of consecutive wins and got a shot at Muhammed Ali. Given no chance to win, he shocked the world and New Jersey by very nearly going a full 15 rounds with the champ. Sylvester Stallone watched raptly and immediately went and wrote Rocky. Wepner may also have inspired that episode of the Simpsons where Homer wins fights by getting punched in the face until his opponent keels over - even after victories Wepner would require a few dozen stitches.

Kazuyuki Fujita would go on to MMA stardom and an IWGP title run by employing the Wepner-Simpson stratagem. Wepner physically shows the effects of this style. His profile is almost flat, as if he had been punched in the face many, many times.

Wepner had tried his hand at pro wrestling before this. He took on Andre the Giant at Shea Stadium as part of the live undercard to the closed circuit broadcast of the Inoki vs. Ali fight the year before.

I don't know how that match was, but Wepner looks at home in a pro wrestling ring and fully prepared to have a fake fight. He's energetic and never looks as lost as I would have expected. As with Monster Man and Palmore, the pulled punches are the weakest part of his game. He's good on defense. He reacts naturally to Inoki's takedown attempts, and he even gets in some ground and pound.

Both men are wearing gloves, but I'm not sure what the rules are. It seems like the ref tries to break things up whenever they go to the ground, but it ends with a submission. Inoki is allowed to kick, and it's pretty exciting because he saves them for big spots and since this isn't a shoot, he's getting in the air with them.

It's a longer fight than Eddy's. This goes to round 6 before Inoki hits a couple kicks to the leg and then sinks in a Boston crab for a not very convincing finish. I guess a tall, exhausted guy in boxing gloves might not be able to stop that move? I don't know. I was expecting something more plausible.

Wepner proves he's a pro by getting up and immediately stumbling back down, his legs humbled by the power of pro wrestling.

I don't know how long I can keep getting lucky with these things. Wepner was great, Inoki was less annoying than usual (only cheated once), and if it hadn't outstayed its welcome, it might have been better than Inoki vs. Monster Man. Why are these legit prize fighters so good at selling?

[KawadaSmile]

I was SHOCKED to learn that Chuck Wepner is still alive. Not only that, he's an absolute unit of a man, at 6ft5. Didn't look that small when up against Andre, that's for sure. You'd expect someone whose nickname came from the fact he took a lot of punches to the head would be not with us anymore, but he's still kicking!

[William Bologna]

Crazy, right? I almost added something about all the people Wepner unexpectedly outlived, but I didn’t want to be morbid. Plus I already did it with Abdullah.

[Al]

15 hours ago, William Bologna said:

Time for another installment in the pleasantest surprise in the history of wrestling, Antonio Inoki Proves He's Stronger Than That Stupid Giant Baba by Beating Every Fighter in the World! Today's competitor is actually pretty famous. Chuck Wepner was a journeyman boxer with a day job who reeled off a bunch of consecutive wins and got a shot at Muhammed Ali. Given no chance to win, he shocked the world and New Jersey by very nearly going a full 15 rounds with the champ. Sylvester Stallone watched raptly and immediately went and wrote Rocky. Wepner may also have inspired that episode of the Simpsons where Homer wins fights by getting punched in the face until his opponent keels over - even after victories Wepner would require a few dozen stitches.

See Randall "Tex" Cobb, a journeyman who went 15 rounds with Larry Holmes in a fight so one sided that Howard Cosell quit boxing. Cobb once beat Earnie Shavers by KO after Shavers wore himself out trying to KO Cobb.

[William Bologna]

Antonio Inoki vs. Gerard Gordeau Jan 4, 1995

This is the other first round match in the Underpants Sponsor Martial Arts Cup. Sting made it to the finals after a . . . let's say memorable match against some kickboxer. Whom will he face? And can we maintain that level of match quality?

Unfortunately yes. I'd love an explanation of the competitor selection for this tournament. It's Inoki's thing, so of course he's in it. But after that:

• Sting, who's as convincing a martial artist as Frank Dux.
• Tony Palmore, who may have been a good kickboxer ten years before but was washed up and looked like crap.
• Gerard Gordeau, who isn't quite as puzzling as the other two, but couldn't have been the best choice. He's an accomplished and well-rounded martial artist, and at the first UFC he kicked a guy's tooth into the crowd and made it to the finals. But he looks like crap, and he can't work.

I mean, I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover and Gordeau was actually an ass-kicker and all, but this is pro wrestling and image counts. We don't have to go full Vince and push every Tom Magee who comes along, but Gordeau looks like he gets ready to train by extinguishing his cigarette in his beer and then pouring the beer over his chest because his infected prison tattoo is starting to flare up.

They were better at this is in the 70s.

And that goes for the work as well, because this is dreadful. It's not his fault, but Inoki got old, and he's showing his 50+ years. He's slow, and his selling is pathetic rather than compelling. He looks like a stooped old man in pain rather than a resilient warrior.

You can make this kind of thing work - you ever see Tenryu & Hansen vs Baba & Kimura? - but Gordeau isn't capable of using his physical advantage to make the match interesting. They circle and circle; Gordeau kicks and Inoki grimaces. Gordeau throws a bunch of punches, and it's not fun to watch old man Antonio take them. Finally, after doing basically nothing, Inoki grabs a choke. Gordeau tries to throw him off, but Inoki hangs on to his neck and he taps. We don't get any Eddy- or Wepner-level post-match selling, either. A complete waste.

And if his Wikipedia entry is anything to go by, it seems like Gordeau should have thrived in this position. Not only had he done a bunch of works, he was also a scumbag cheater in his shoots. Why didn't we get any of that?

So Inoki is through to face legendary kung fu master Steve goddamn Borden in the finals. I went ahead and watched it, and it's almost the same thing except with fakey pro wrestling submissions instead of kicks: Inoki eats offense the whole way until getting a miracle submission win.

I get what they were going for: Inoki the aging lion going for one last win, taking ungodly punishment but barely managing to use his guts and technique to triumph. With different opponents, it could have worked. As a matter of fact, exactly one year later with a different a opponent it did work. 

[William Bologna]

Keiji Muto Vs. Demolition Ax Feb 5, 1991

Demolition Ax (Bill Eadie) is the one-off, but he's not really. He has other entries as Masked Superstar and Superstar Machine. For the extremely official purposes of this thread, I'm going to count it. He won't be the last example.

There were two Demolitions running around at this point, just like a surprising number of rock bands. Eadie was done with the WWF, so he found himself a tall Canadian and started anew. Meanwhile, Smash and Crush were still demolishing things back home. This makes Demolition wrestling's Yes, Asia, Queensryche, Gene Loves Jezebel, Herman's Hermits, Bay City Rollers, and Faust. Among others.

This is singles action, though, and the opponent is a fresh-faced young Keiji Muto. He's back from the States and on his way up. He'll win the title next year and go on to a career full of title victories, memorable matches, and only a couple promotions ruined.

I know Demolition has their admirers (not saying they're wrong; don't know), but Eadie in the face paint doesn't work for me. He has an aggressively regular-looking face, if that makes any sense, complemented by an extremely regular-looking haircut. The facepaint doesn't do anything to monsterfy his regular-looking expressions, and combined with the gear, you can't get away from the "cranky dad in a Halloween costume" vibe.

It's an 80s kind of match, but decades don't really start until a few years in anyway. Eadie takes a powder to avoid Muto's exciting babyface offense and tells the fans to shut up. I'm in exactly the mood for this kind of pro wrestling shtick after watching all that bad fake martial arts. I am renewed and refreshed by Ax's WWF house show stylings.

The pair work together fine, aside from a couple amusing mixups on irish whips. Eadie's a suitable base for Muto, and this version of Keiji gets sympathy when Eadie hits him with a sign or even just holds him in a headlock.

There's no build - Muto takes over, hits an elbow, and moonsaults his way to victory. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone, but it's exactly what I needed. Just some regular-ass old pro wrestling.

[William Bologna]

Hawk Warrior & Animal Warrior & Power Warrior VS Rick Steiner & Scott Steiner & Scott Norton Apr 29, 1996

I bet they were kicking themselves that they already used “Steroids Warriors Showdown” on Norton vs. Evad. Look at this collection of action figures! It's like one of those "be the American the Japanese think you are" memes.

It's a cool idea. We get the two big, drug-inflated, reckless American tag teams, and both have summoned reinforcements. The Steiners added a third giant dude in a singlet, the Road Warriors have our second straight fake one-off, "Power Warrior." PW is Kensuke Sasaki in armor and facepaint, reviving a gimmick from earlier in his career when he and Hawk put together an ersatz Road Warriors while Animal wasn't around. This is a special occasion: Kensuke's back in the paint, and Animal is returning after a long injury - he gets a huge pop when tags in for the first time.

The work is what you'd expect and the best use of this cast. Power moves one after the other. Scott Steiner hits a dragon suplex on Animal, which I wasn't expecting. He then puts Animal in a Boston crab, in which position Animal does some push-ups. We're all having fun.

I'm not sure this is a great role for Kensuke. He's a big, beefy guy, but his beef levels look minuscule in this company. He's shorter, less muscular, and pudgier than anyone else. The Steiners are augmented by what's basically an even bigger Steiner, while the Warriors look like they brought their sister's kid.

He also gets the hell beat out of him. He's roughed up outside the ring. Huge powerbomb from Norton, huge German from Rick, Frankensteiner from Scott. He makes a hot comeback with that judo throw thing he does (very nifty) but takes all the air out by putting on a submission that everyone knows isn't going to do anything. And a minute later, he actually does make the hot tag to Hawk - he should have skipped the sad attempt at matwork and gone straight to his corner.

I thought we were building up to Power Warrior redeeming himself and getting the win, but instead we're giving it to Animal. He's sitting on the turnbuckle, and Hawk helps him set up Rick for a powerslam. Scott comes in bushwhacks Hawk, but Animal has just enough time to hit to the move and make the pin.

This was a lot of fun. Didn't make you think too hard.

[William Bologna]

Shinya Aoki vs. Yu Iizuka July 1, 2022

Am I going to have to watch this whole show? I was dreading Inoki, but it turns out I missed the real enemy. It's GLEAT. GLEAT is the real enemy.

Double one-off. Yu Iizuka is a young shoot-style guy. Shinya Aoki is a legit fighter best known for being just an irredeemable asshole. You ever see the clip where a skinny guy in rainbow pants breaks a guy's arm and then puts his middle finger right in the face of his writhing opponent? That's him.

The match is billed as being under UWF rules, and look. I know a lot of people like this kind of thing, and I'm not saying they're wrong, but I am saying that I ain't one of them. I'm not going to extend myself describing much of this because I don't have the vocabulary for it and I'm not interested.

The GLEAT Universe is as "respectful" for this as they were for everything else. They pop twice: First for a showy bit where they lie in the middle of the ring and arrange themselves into a nightmarish mass of arms and legs. And again for the finish: Iizuka hits a big throw but then Aoki chokes him.

I suppose age has mellowed Aoki. He doesn't break anything on the youngster, and he's dressed somberly enough for a shoot style funeral.

[William Bologna]

Akira Maeda vs. Paul Orndorff Apr 21, 1983

Akira Maeda is back from Europe. The fans are so happy to see him that there's confetti in his hair, and he has souvenirs: A belt that says "Europe Heavyweight Championship" and Karl Gotch.

His opponent and our one-off is Paul Orndorff, who will get on a plane right after this to start his WWF run (this is April 21; his first WWF match is April 23).

Odd match. We get two minutes of energetic matwork. Then Maeda hits a rad, non-cooperative-looking belly-to-belly suplex, a spin kick that Orndorff doesn't know how to bump for, and a rad, non-cooperative-looking double-arm suplex.

The pin is all messed up. Orndorff's shoulders are not on the mat. Given the physics of the move, it is impossible for them to be. The ref counts regardless, but it's not clear that he makes it to three. Maybe there are different rules for the Europe Heavyweight Championship. The crowd is befuddled, but they soon recover enough to cheer the returning hero and listen an in-ring interview.

This was just great for three minutes, but that's all there was. You guys could have kept going!

[Robert S]

On 7/10/2023 at 11:21 PM, William Bologna said:

Why are these legit prize fighters so good at selling?

I could make a joke about boxing being mostly a work anyway but in seriousness, in martial arts usually exhibitions are an important part of the sport. For example I did Judo as a kid, and there when we presented our sport in front of our parents, at fairs etc. we did technical displays of the whole group on the one hand, but on the other hand there often were one or two worked matches between some of the top students. They usually got instructions like "do a nice technical match showing some cool stuff and decide among yourselves who is going over".

BTW: audience-wise the biggest tournament of the year was the club tournament because there usually the parents of all children were there. They mostly reacted respectfully clapping for the victors etc., but a couple of times a night a big throw popped the audience. I managed to get that big pop twice, once for a Harai Goshi (my favorite throw, actually, that always worked perfectly against lesser experienced kids who reacted on attack attempts by simply trying to block), the other time for an Osoto Guruma (where I got Rock Bottom-like height).

[William Bologna]

It's all works, big daddy!

[William Bologna]

Masahiro Chono vs. Shoji Nakamaki Jan 4, 1997

I didn't know Chono made a habit of wrestling deathmatch guys. We've all seen at least the intros for his match with Onita, right? Onita comes out to X's crappy version of "Wild Thing" and lights a cigarette while everyone throws trash at him. You think Jon Moxley has watched that once or twice?

Well two years before that he took on the poor man's Onita, Shoji Nakamaki. I've never seen a Nakamaki match, but he's well known as a triumph of will over ability, a former writer who developed an unquenchable desire to sustain puncture wounds. Some people are like that. Society tells you not to take a weed whacker to the stomach, and it doesn't even say it very often because who the hell would do that, but someone does it regardless.

On the undercard of the 1997 January 4 dome show, they did a Big Japan vs. New Japan thing. It turns out Tajiri vs. Otani was part one, and this is the third bout (we're skipping #2 because Kendo Nagasaki has four matches on NJPW World, and I'll probably do the final one right after this).

Nakamaki comes down that walkway to the ring carrying a barbed wire board on his back, a Kimo-esque witness for deathmatch wrestling. Chono runs down, yells at him, and punches him. We're off!

The crowd is absolutely molten for this. Did they even know enough about Big Japan Pro Wrestling to be so fervent about it losing? I get throwing garbage at Onita, but who would have thought that ol' Dai Nihon could get this kind of reaction?

Chono no-sells everything Nakamaki does and yells at him. 1:20 and the Danger Man is bleeding, and at 1:30 we're finally in the ring.

It's the weirdest goddamn match I've ever seen. Chono sits on the turnbuckle and invites Nakamaki to suplex him off of it, then no sells it. I'm thinking this a waste of my time, but the paying customers are loving it. He invites Nakamaki to put him in a headlock, they come off the ropes, and he hits a yakuza kick and pins him (match time: 1:07).

Chono's not done. He puts Nakamaki in an STF, and some Big Japan guy comes into save him, but Hiro Saito ejects him and sentons the loser a few times. Nakamaki makes a post-match comeback, but Chono reverses an Irish whip and sends him into the barbed wire board. Then there's a very awkward sequence where he puts Nakamaki on the turnbuckle, and Nakamaki asks him (Chono) to suplex him (Nakamaki) onto the board, after which he takes off his shirt and intentionally bumps on the board a few more times.

The only thing I liked was Nakamaki's shirt, which said "Indy Spirit Red King of DEATHMATCH."

[William Bologna]

Masa Saito vs. Great Kojika Jan 4 1997

We conclude Big Japan vs. New Japan with the fourth installment. To recap:

1. Shinjiro Otani (NJ) beat Yoshihiro Tajiri (BJ). It was pretty good.
2. Kendo Nagasaki (BJ) got the indie on the scoreboard by beating Tatsutoshi Goto.
3. Masa Chono (NJ) and Shoji Nakamaki (BJ) did some kind of outsider guerilla performance art in which Chono pinned Nakamaki.

So by the time the 56 year olds come out, Big Japan just barely has chance to tie it up. If they take it seriously, they could prove themselves on the biggest stage.

But instead company founder Great Kojika comes out wearing a tuxedo with a vest covered in hand grenades. I just don't get this shit at all. The first two matches were straight, then we get all this weirdness that I don't think is even supposed to funny.

They make Kojika take off the vest, but he puts his jacket back on. Saito Chonos it up, not selling anything and beating up Kojika and eventually three of his henchmen all at the same time. He wins with a heel hook, and the bizarre interpromotional battle is at end.

[William Bologna]

Sumika Yanagawa, rhythm & Misa Kamikira Vs. YAKO, President Ram & Nao Ishikawa Jan 10, 2022

This is from Takataichi Mania, an event presented by TAKA Michinoku's Just Tap Out Pro Wrestling, which is more of a real promotion than I would have guessed. They run two shows a month.

Two of our competitors immediately stand out: President RAM aka Ramkaicho has waist-length blond hair, a white-painted face, and an M. Bison costume. She gives the finger a lot and is noticeably tiny, even in this company.

rhythm has a nearly unGoogleable name and one of the coolest masks I've ever seen. It's like a Bandido mask with butterfly wings on the sides. Aside from the mask, she's dressed like I Dream of Jeannie.

As far as the others go, three of them are dressed like princesses, and Yanagawa looks like they found her at the mall and asked her if she wanted to wrestle, but she's still not sure why she said yes.

The match is seven minutes of finishing stretch. They never slow down, so nothing is really going to stick with you. Ram did a 619 and a Rainmaker (complete with camera zoom-out), and eventually Yanagawa wins with a pretty nifty submission. It was totally fine. Much better than the last six-woman tag where I didn't know anyone.

[William Bologna]

Jimmy Snuka vs. Larry Sharpe Aug 3, 1985

NWA Polynesian presents A Hot Summer Night from Aloha Stadium! I already watched a Fujinami & Kimura tag from this show, but we're going to be working through quite of a bit of it in this thread (NJPW doesn't have the main event, though; it's a Ric Flair title defense with what looks like a lousy finish).

Larry Sharpe looks like you asked an AI to draw you a sleazy 80s wrestler. I don't know anything about the guy, and maybe his personal life is beyond reproach, but you see a flabby bottle blond like Larry and you expect him to take your thirty bucks and skip town.

Fortunately, his look fits his persona. He bumrushes Snuka during the intros and does basic heel offense until Superfly hulks up, at which point Larry offers a handshake. I love heel shtick and handshake spots, so Larry Sharpe is OK by me.

We have 16 (!) matches to get through tonight, so Snuka does the splash and we're done after about two minutes.

I guess I need to force myself to watch some Inoki, because the last five matches have added up to about 15 minutes. There's nothing to say!

[Al]

Larry Sharpe is quite notable as trainer of the Monster Factory, source of a great deal of the northeast US talent for a couple decades. He passed in 2017 but the school I believe has a series going on Apple+.

President Ram got some fame as a very young girl in the same makeup doing a possessed demon gimmick. Kind of cool that she's giving it a go in adulthood but if that match is any indication, she has a ways to go.

[William Bologna]

Kotetsu Yamamato & Kantaro Hoshino vs. Goro Tsurumi & Katsuzo Oiyama Apr 4, 1980

You want to see what NJPW World makes me put up with? They have this match listed as "Yamamoto Small Iron Game Yamamoto Small Iron & Kantaro Hoshino Vs. Goro Tsurumi & Large Mount Kurai Katsuzo." Get it together, Gedo - I hit the "English" button on your streaming service and it turns it into a Mr. Sparkle commercial.

Everyone but Hoshino is a one-off. Goro & Tsurumi are from IWE, and they're definitely bad guys. Tsurumi even has a little skull and crossbones on his gear. They do not seem to have made much an impression: Every half-ass puroresu website has an article about Goro Tsurumi, but none of them knows anything about Goro Tsurumi.

Hoshino was awesome in the Fujinami thread, a tiny badass who took out Tenryu in a WAR vs. NJPW match and won it for the good guys. He's listed at 5'7", and I mean come on. I know wrestling is about suspension of disbelief, but I don't know if two Kantaros Hoshino in a trenchcoat add up to 5'7".

It's Yamamato's retirement match, and everyone's giving him flowers, even some little kids. He's looking a bit like late Akiyama, with his shaved head and high-waisted white trunks.

Hoshino once got into a sorta shoot with Dynamite Kid, and it's funny how similar their styles are. He's always the smallest guy in the match, but he works like he doesn't know it. He will face off with a guy a head taller than he is, and rather than outsmarting him or getting out of his way, SLAP right in the damn face.

I really enjoyed this. It was sloppy but in a way that I like. They each grab a leg and do the thing where you wrap it up and drop backwards to make it hurt more, and Hoshino's head winds up in the ropes. But that's fine! Their reach exceeds their grasp when they try to backdrop Tsurumi onto Large Mount, but that's OK!

As I was figuring out what to say about this one, @SAMS reviewed another Hoshino match and summed it up:

Quote

Whereas All Japan seemed to veer between wild brawls or old school mat work, New Japan has a crisper pace and a more rough, formless structure. This match could very well be described as workrate-y, and maybe it’s because I’m less familiar with 80s New Japan in general, but I do struggle at times to pluck the narrative threads out of their matches.

That's exactly it. It's pretty aimless with its back and forthery, but I liked the characters and the work was pitched just right for me. Meltzer has this whig history view of wrestling and a mechanical sense of what makes a match good. There is inexorable, positive progress. People do more moves and do them more crisply, so of course there were more 6 star matches in the 2020s than in all of history (or whatever).

You can guess from my tone what I think of that idea, but I have been trying to figure out my sweet spot. I don't like too much matwork, and I do like definitive finishes. This one felt ahead of its time - it's pretty go-go for 1980, and the finish could not be any more definitive: Yamamoto hits a brutal frog splash to massacre his opponent, and then we cut to him in a suit crying.

Kinda sloppy, Kantaro Hoshino, and a big finish: I'm not saying this should be everyone's favorite match, but it was just right for me.

[SAMS]

I originally skipped over this card because Hansen and Inoki had a big title switch the night before and followed up here with a basic singles which screamed "Don't Bother". But hey, I've got some time and Hoshino is in the mix so I'll give it a whirl.

I'm not sure whether it's because it's 7am and I'm a bit sleep deprived but this was shockingly good. I mean, I don't want to go overboard, I think you pitched it perfectly, but I am pretty sure I've never seen either Yamamoto or Oiyama before and Goro Tsurumi hasn't wowed me at all when I've seen him in IWE, so I had no expectations at all coming in. 

What was the story they were trying to tell? I have no idea. Were there a bunch of cool moments that made this a fun mid-card tag match? Absolutely yes. Hoshino is like a billionaire's Ivan Putski, his rabbit punching here was a true highlight. But we also got a crazy diving headbutt whiff from Yamamoto on which he didn't flinch in the slightest and ate it full force. The frog splash to finish it was excellent as you said. If I'd seen more of him and that was his usual finisher, then he very well may have ended up winning my High Flyer of the Year award for 1980! (against pitiful competition but still)

Also great thread. Love reading your reviews, always a blast to read.

[William Bologna]

Thanks!

I like the Hoshino/Putski comparison. Every time I see Putski, I think "They all say this guy's terrible, but this is great!"