WWF/WWE worst matches ever - a depressing journey

[tcg91]

Hillbilly Jim vs Mr. Fuji (12/26/86)
The rules of this Tuxedo Match consisted of stripping your opponent. Not to be funny, but I have probably seen Bra & Panties matches that were better than this and not in cosmetic terms only. Hillbilly worked half of the "match" on his knees so Fuji could use some horrible offense and start undressing him, while the crowd was DEAD. This consisted of one of them grabbing the other and starting to strip him, without the opponent doing anything to stop it. At last, Hillbilly grabbed Fuji's trousers, and Fuji "ran" away from the ring, as he was exposed to polka-dot shorts. I could imagine Vince McMahon laughing so loud, despite the apathy of the MSG crowd. It was set as a comedy 5 minute "match", but nobody laughed or even popped until the finish. -*

[tcg91]

Koko B. Ware vs The Red Demon (2/7/87)
This was a disaster, and they were lucky that the crowd didn't completely shit all over it, despite clearly losing interest as the match went on. They did some decent stuff during the opening routine, but Demon's heat segment was totally lifeless and consisted of him overjumping and trying make his stuff seem impressive, only looking goofy in the process. He also had an all-time bad running hammer, which even the announcers couldn't put over. While going home, they also messed up the finishing spot, as Demon slid on the mat to avoid Koko's dive, but Koko just looked at him for a couple of seconds, seemingly completely lost, so Demon had to stand up like an idiot and run into a flying dropkick. DUD

[tcg91]

Sika vs Moondog Spot (2/15/87)
A very weird heel vs heel match, as neither of them was sympathetic or barely decent anymore. In an hilarious bit, even Heenan was sarcastic about the quality of this match, while babyface Monsoon had to stick up for both guys. Surreal. Sika's strikes were awful, and he worked a loooooooooooong chinlock, staring at the crowd and daring them to react in any way. This brought out a tepid "Sika sucks" chant, but mostly consisted of awkward silence. To Spot's partial defence, it's not ideal when your opponent can't even flip properly for a snapmare. Sika won with a sudden Samoan drop, while I believe that another 3 or 4 minutes here probably would have taken this to all-time low levels. -1/2*

[tcg91]

Debbie Combs vs The Fabulous Moolah (5/18/87)
Dead crowd. Lots of hair-pulling, snapmares, and slingshots from Combs that didn't benefit Moolah, as her bumps looked quite bad. It actually got worse once Moolah got on top, as she used some horrible knees and hammer blows, working on the legs for about 10 seconds to set up a Boston Crab, before forgetting about it completely. I actually appreciated Moolah not repeating all of her usual skits, but she kept some of them, like the useless rear bodyscissors sequence that looked bad here as well. This felt way too forced, especially during a spot where a tired Combs made it back before the 10-count, only to assault Moolah, who was simply looking at her without any self-defence or anything. Combs won by count-out later. DUD

[tcg91]

The Junkyard Dog vs Paul Orndorff (6/14/87)
Both wrestlers were breaking down and past their prime here, which was quite sad to see. The pace was quite slow, and this ended up being pretty boring and uneventful, which caused some crowd apathy despite a good response to JYD's entrance. JYD controlled most of the match with some basic arm work, and they just didn't follow that up in any way, rather staring at each other for seconds to complete silence from the MSG crowd. Orndorff got a couple of minutes of offence on Dog, who couldn't move around very well. First, he bumped clumsily on the ropes after a knee, but then he got hit with probably the worst stungun I have ever seen, which was also the finish, unfortunately. 1/4*

[tcg91]

Koko B. Ware vs Nikolai Volkoff (7/18/87)
This was quite embarrassing to watch, as Volkoff could barely move and Koko didn't have the skills to carry this match on his own. Volkoff took his time, getting some decent heat from the crowd in the process, but most of his lockups and attacks looked subpar. Koko had to go out of his way to make it all look better than it was, selling a kick outside the ring for a long time while Volkoff did a cartwheel for some reason. They did a couple of spots where Volkoff missed a knee in the corner (at such a slow pace) to weaken him, but it never really paid off. Koko's comeback wasn't too good due to the weak bumping of his opponent, including the final flying dropkick, as Volkoff got hit on the hip of all places and crashed clumsily onto the floor. 1/4*

[tcg91]

Hillbilly Jim vs The One Man Gang (8/15/87)
This was worked like a comedy match because of Little Beaver's continuous interference, as he stood on the apron and also hit OMG with a shoe on 2 different occasions, as the referee didn't disqualify him. Later, the official also counted Beaver's pinfall attempt on OMG and, yeah, OMG indeed. The match itself, apart from this ridiculousness, was a bunch of dull rest holds and bad selling by Hillbilly. Slick interfered too at one point, and the 'fight' on the outside led to a count-out. Yeah, this sucked, it should have been a tag match to justify all the gaga, and it definitely didn't need to last almost 15 minutes. DUD