tcg91

Alright, I’m now done with the 80s (plus the portion of 1979 following the WWWF officially becoming the WWF). I’ve got 30 matches with negative star ratings. As a bit of trivia, Andre the Giant and JYD are the only two wrestlers I’ve awarded ‘Worst Match of the Year’ to twice, while Dominic DeNucci and Afa have the most appearances on the list, tied at 4 each. The list: 1. Tony Atlas vs Ted Arcidi -***1/2 (8/9/86) 2. Rocky Johnson vs David Schultz -*** (11/26/84) 3. Bob Backlund vs Swede Hanson -**1/4 (10/22/79) 4. The Junkyard Dog vs Andre the Giant -** (10/7/88) 5. Joyce Grable & Vivian St. John vs The Fabulous Moolah & Kitty Adams -*3/4 (7/30/79) 6. Rocky Johnson vs Afa -*1/2 (10/22/83) 7. The Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant -*1/2 (10/31/89) 8. Cousin Junior vs Hercules Hernandez -*1/2 (11/25/85) 9. Jill Fontaine vs The Fabulous Moolah -* (4/8/81) 10. Bobo Brazil, SD Jones & Rocky Johnson vs Afa, Sika & Samula -* (5/21/84)

The Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant (10/31/89) Well, now I know why they used to do 30-second squashes on the road... this was terrible. Andre choked Warrior, who managed to reverse the choke, and the referee did nothing about them being on the ropes for several seconds before Warrior took a goofy dive to the outside after missing a running clothesline. Horrible strikes from Andre, then Warrior clotheslined him out of the ring, only for Andre to take a very bad bump himself. They went through a very lethargic sequence, starting with Warrior putting on a weak bearhug on Andre, who then reversed it, while the crowd grew quieter and quieter. The holds were forgotten and meant nothing, as Andre tied himself to the ropes yet again, only for him to boot Warrior by clumsily lifting his foot, which was an ill-conceived spot. The referee missed Heenan being in the ring for like 30 seconds before calling a DQ when Warrior 'slammed' Heenan onto Andre. Horrible stuff. -*1/2

I can't remember a thing about their 1986 match despite being on YT, so either I never watched it or it didn't leave a great impression on me. Loved their 1987 match though.

Jim Duggan vs Dino Bravo (10/13/89) The London bout between Duggan and HTM from the same tour was a below average match, but very entertaining thanks to the crowd reaction. This one... yeah, not so much. The fans were very tepid, apart from the usual 'hooooo' and some 'USA' chants, which always makes sense in Paris. Bravo wasn't over and he tried to get some heat in vain by stalling. He spent a lot of time on the floor at one point and the referee wouldn't count him out, so some fans started doing it instead, probably wishing the match to end right there. Bravo used some lazy strikes and a long chinlock to take over, then it was Duggan's turn to take time at ringside, without the heel doing anyting to capitalise on that. They did a bad-looking collision spot, that also involved the referee and seemed like a Benny Hill tribute more than anything else. Duggan won with a clothesline. 1/4*

Dusty Rhodes vs The Honky Tonk Man (8/27/89) This gave me vibes of Triple H vs Sting in terms of being a great idea in Vince McMahon's mind only and leaving everybody else puzzled. They stalled a lot, played to a good crowd, and did some comedy routines that were funny at times. Both guys went through the motions here, as an out of shape Dusty barely touched Honky with his elbows, and Honky himself baffled me when he stayed on all fours for like 10 seconds during an irish whip spot, almost like he felt there was no need to get up earlier. HTM used Hart's megaphone on Dusty's ribs, then took over with a loooooong chinlock, so hitting Dusty in the face/neck would have made all the difference in the world here, perception wise. The crowd died during this and wasn't too hot during Dusty's comeback, even though the cheers came back for the guitar finish. 1/4*

Paul Roma vs Sandy Beach (7/10/89) I understand the concept of putting a lesser match right before the main event(s), so the crowd can take a breath and not burn out. However, you could have heard a pen drop here as they started wrestling to complete silence, followed by some jeers. Their work itself wasn't good either, sloppy on several instances, including Roma messing up the timing of a shoulder block and then a Roma armdrag where Beach fell on his opponent's back without the proper elevation. Roma did some subpar leg work on Beach, who actually sold it quite well, ignoring a few awkward twitches and rolls on the mat. Beach got some offence and literally the first thing he did was a backbreaker, and didn't feel a thing when slamming 300 pounds onto his weakened leg. Beach also climbed the top rope with no issues, but Roma stopped him and hit a bad clothesline before finally ending this with a powerslam. 1/4*

The Big John Studd vs Andre the Giant (5/13/89) Studd attacked Andre straight away, and at that point there wasn't a single Andre match where he didn't tie himself up in the ropes. You'd figure a veteran would know how to avoid that by then! Anyway, Studd didn't capitalise on it, so Andre got free and started choking his opponent for a long time. Andre used both a bearhug and a shoulder hold in under a minute, not creating a coherent strategy, while the match also didn't feel right because Studd wasn't over as a babyface and the crowd was very quiet. More bad-looking stuff from Andre, until Studd finally hit him with a single punch to the ribs like 5 minutes in that was supposed to turn the match around, but it got such a mild pop and a goofy fall from Andre, sadly. Also, the moment was quickly neutralised by Haku and Jim Duggan interfering, so the match was thrown off after a whole minute of them attacking the participants without the referee doing anything, until he finally decided to call for the DQ. DUD

Hercules vs Dino Bravo (4/23/89) "This will surely be a collision" - Tony Schiavone. Yep, a trainwreck. The initial lockups weren't too bad, and I dug their implicit goal of establishing who was the stronger man, but this had a quite boring pace, and Bravo's retreats pretty soon became very uneventful, as they repeated the same sequence a few times: Bravo used a rest hold, got the ropes to stop the full nelson, bailed to the outside, returned to the ring for another rest hold, repeat. Moreover, Bravo used a long chinlock only to switch to a Boston Crab and then a bearhug as well, which didn't make much sense in terms of strategy, as he never targeted the back consistently until that point. Hercules moved flawlessly in his comeback, not selling his own back a tiny bit and even applying the torture rack without any issues. They went home shortly after with a dirty Bravo roll-up. 1/4*

Jake Roberts vs Andre The Giant (4/2/89) Andre jump-started this and sent Roberts head-first into an exposed turnbuckle, which led to the Giant using a chinlock on Roberts, even though they quickly moved on from that and never focused on it again. Andre literally leaned on Jake in the corner like he wanted to squash him, looking like he didn't even apply pressure in a very badly conceived spot that didn't look very good. Andre did the usual spot of tying himself in the ropes, but then got free and used some more horrible offence on Roberts. After dominating most of the match, Andre dropped down on one knee pretending Roberts had kicked him, even though that kick never connected, which was made even weirder by the dead crowd and the confused announcers. Roberts tried to use the snake on Andre, while Andre argued with referee Big John Studd and then attacked him, which resulted in a DQ. -1/2*

Butch & Luke vs Jacques Rougeau & Raymond Rougeau (4/2/89) I expected this to be a comedy match, and instead they tried a more traditional bout, despite a bad opening spot that consisted of the Bushwhackers stealing Jimmy Hart's jacket and making him bump onto the Rougeaus. Both Bushwhackers were so out of place here, slow and sloppy. Butch missed a punch by a mile on one occasion, while Luke took a very goofy bump after receiving a weak hammer blow to the back. The Rougeaus started posing for some reason, triggering the babyfaces' shitty-looking double move for the victory. While this was not good, but quite unoffensive at 5 minutes, it looked much worse due to a dead crowd. DUD

Rockin' Robin vs Judy Martin (1/15/89) Not a good match. Robin actually showed some fire, but Martin looked rough, as she missed the timing on a few spots in a very outrageous way, like rebounding off the ropes too late (so Robin had to dropkick a ghost, rather than missing the heel by a second) or standing up too late for the finishing crossbody spot, as she was originally on her knees like she expected to receive the move while down there. Nothing stuck in terms of limb work either; this looked like a random 5-minute PPV match that was very badly put together. Sherri was on commentary and was much yelling at them to go home so she could face the winner, which was unintentionally hilarious as everyone in the arena wanted them to go home as well. 1/4*

Butch & Luke vs Boris Zhukov & Nikolai Volkoff (1/14/89) This was horrible. Lots of it consisted of 2 vs 1 or 2 vs 2 action for a long time, and the referee didn't do anything about it while it unfolded before his eyes. The Bushwhackers messed up a clothesline spot on Zhukov, then later made the Russians collide in the form of such a weak shoulder block that it wouldn't hurt a fly. To be fair, the heels weren't much better, and their control segment consisted of some bad Volkoff bearhugs, while Zhukov was throwing horrible hammers blows that made Volkoff's clothesline look like Stan Hansen was in the ring. This went too long at 10 minutes, and the announcer wasn't fun to listen to either. He never called the Bushwhackers by name as he couldn't tell them apart and talked about "Australia" chants that never happened. Yet another bad-looking Russian miscommunication at the end, so Volkoff somehow got over the top rope very goofily, while the babyfaces finished Zhukov. Bleh. -*

The Ultimate Warrior vs Super Ninja (11/16/88) Easily one of the worst squashes I have ever seen. Rip Oliver tried to work a weird style under a Great Sasuke-like costume and he started the match wonderfully by tripping while throwing a kick. A second kick was caught by Warrior, who dropped Ninja on his head without much care, as it looked like Ninja was probably trying to take a 180-degree bump but just fell flatly like a douchebag. Warrior booted Ninja, who once again took a clumsy fall outside the ring, and then threw him carelessly from the outside to ringside between the ropes. Warrior hit more bad strikes before his usual routine finish, getting the pinfall. This was ill-conceived, to say the least. DUD

The Junkyard Dog vs Andre the Giant (10/7/88) Andre playing a heel in France was fun. The match... yeah, not so much. Andre initially refused to fight and returned backstage. It took around 5 minutes for him to return to the ring, and the crowd didn't boo or react to that, as instead they got very quiet and confused. Once the bell rang, Andre dominated with some very bad-looking offence and sitting on Dog clumsly, while JYD spent a lot of time on the floor, which at least saved him from running out of steam right away. Andre tied himself to the ropes to receive horrible headbutts from JYD, who immediately started panting as soos as he had to do something. Andre got free and started exposing the turnbuckle in a very slow way, while JYD just looked at him without much reasoning, and they stumbled around in a baffling way for a bit. Andre was the one to eat the steel after all, but the spot didn't go anywhere, as he used a terrible boot to pin Dog. This was ugly. -**

The Junkyard Dog vs Hercules (9/11/88) I have no idea why they asked them to wrestle for 10 minutes, as JYD was clearly not having a good time and Hercules wasn't able to carry someone like him to a decent performance. JYD was actually somewhat motivated at the beginning, but he quickly gassed out and looked awkward in his movements, like when he hit a very terrible-looking clothesline and barely touched Hercules, who had to do all the work himself. Hercules had to fight with what he had, focusing on a heatless bearhug that didn't go anywhere, as its main goal was probably stopping JYD's panting. JYD broke free, and they had a mediocre finishing stretch, where Hercules went over with a quite smooth slingshot version. DUD