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The Junkyard Dog vs Hercules (9/11/88) I have no idea why they asked them to wrestle for 10 minutes, as JYD was clearly not having a good time and Hercules wasn't able to carry someone like him to a decent performance. JYD was actually somewhat motivated at the beginning, but he quickly gassed out and looked awkward in his movements, like when he hit a very terrible-looking clothesline and barely touched Hercules, who had to do all the work himself. Hercules had to fight with what he had, focusing on a heatless bearhug that didn't go anywhere, as its main goal was probably stopping JYD's panting. JYD broke free, and they had a mediocre finishing stretch, where Hercules went over with a quite smooth slingshot version. DUD

Ken Patera vs Bad News Brown (8/29/88) They started this quickly, putting over Brown's aggression, and his strikes were decent, but Patera was not on form and proved it immediately with a horrible clothesline. Patera looked either very unmotivated or inept at this point, as he was selling Brown's stuff terribly, wobbling in an uncoordinated way, and even Monsoon buried him for his regression. Patera used a weak-looking bearhug, with no setup or logic, before trying to switch it to the full nelson. However, Brown avoided it twice in a very robotic and clumsy sequence, that didn't do him any good. Brown was Irish-whipped to the corner and did a bad-looking spin that made a very slow Patera catch him in the corner anyway, before Brown used his finisher to win. The camera angle switched to hide that the move wasn't hit properly too, just like pretty much everything else in this match. -*

Hulk Hogan vs Andre The Giant (7/31/88) This was a little better than 'Mania IV, but still a bad match. I'd argue the cage set up didn't protect them enough and actually kind of made this worse, being a roadblock more than a resource. Andre choked Hogan with his own shirt, before using a headlock for a couple of minutes. Andre also tied Hogan to the cage with that shirt, which looked very preposterous as it was all torn apart, but thankfully Hogan broke free quickly. Andre pulled off one of the turnbuckles, as I guess having a STEEL CAGE around him wasn't good enough, and threw Hogan into it for a little blade job. Usual Hogan comeback, as he took care of both Andre and the interfering Heenan, and the Giant took a very sad bump on a clothesline. With both his enemies down, Hogan looked at the cage door in front to him, but decided to climb out instead just for the sake of it. DUD

I forgot where I heard this, it may have been a Kayfabe Commentaries DVD back in the day, but apparently this started with Buddy Rogers because he wanted to beat the traffic or something like that. I am not against a non WWF Title bout going last, if you give that spot to a Rockers vs Hart Foundation match and put a throwaway Hogan defence against Dino Bravo in the middle of the card, just to make things up, but this JYD/Bass deal was sad to watch.

George Steele vs Greg Valentine (6/25/88) People often quote Rhythm & Blues as the WWF not having a clue what to do with Valentine, but how about feuding with Steele in 1988 over a fucking doll? Horrible strikes from Steele, who also used the same doll as a weapon. It was a No DQ match, and Valentine used a chair in a very pathetic way, while Steele bit his calf and made the referee take a bump too because of it. Steele used and then hid a foreign object, despite the stipulation allowing to do what he wanted, which made no sense. A frustrated Valentine worked on Steele's leg for like 10 seconds, then stomped on the doll and was chased around the ring by Steele, who tried to retrieve his possession without selling the leg. As a result, Steele won by count-out, in a No DQ match. This was horrible and Vince Russo was probably taking notes in the stands. DUD

The Junkyard Dog vs Ron Bass (5/27/88) This main evented MSG for some reason, and you could literally see people leaving their seats as the match was going on, which was sad. They jumpstarted this, and JYD had some weak-looking strikes before doing his headbutt routine and literally nudging Bass towards the ring post with it. Bass stalled at ringside as more people left, and the ones that stayed were silent all along, while JYD used was visibly gassed out already. Bass took over with bad looking offence, which was made worse by JYD's immobile selling and the total silence in the arena. Bass used a chinlock, and even more people left. JYD started no-selling head shots and used a horrible roll-up, winning the match and immediately leaving the ring without celebrating. Hostile environment surely, but they didn't even try to go out of their way to fix it. -3/4*

Brutus Beefcake vs The Honky Tonk Man (3/27/88) This surely wasn't a masterpiece either. Honky did some solid character work by getting upset at Beefcake for messing up his hair and taking some comedy bumps, but they weren't too smooth here in terms of pacing or execution. Honky was thrown from the apron to the ring and didn't land like a gracious feather. Very weak punches from HTM in his control segment. Beefcake finally applied his sleeper and HTM was about to pass out, so Jimmy Hart decked the referee to save his client. Beefcake perfectly followed the 'babyfaces are dumb' scenario, thinking he'd won without any referee decision, bells ringing, fans popping or even his theme playing. The 3 minutes between the referee bump and the actual DQ being sanctioned also didn't age well, and surely the crowd wasn't happy enough with some of Hart's hair getting cut off in the process. DUD

I would, but I guess they all thought it was easier to sit in the hold for 2 or 3 minutes lol.

Hulk Hogan vs Andre The Giant (3/27/88) While 'Mania 3 was not nearly as bad as some people said, this was quite the shitshow, and thankfully they only went 5 minutes without overexposing Andre's condition. They jumpstarted this, thriving on a hot crowd, even though Andre was very limited and his strikes looked quite bad. Hogan easily got Andre off his feet with some punches, but then most of the bout consisted of Andre choking Hogan and using nerve holds to keep him down. Andre could barely move as Hogan was punching him in the corner. They started to fight over a chair, with Hogan using it first, but they both got disqualified anyway. Lazy booking and easy payday, even though it made sense to get Hogan out of the tournament early. DUD

I'm sure the gruelling schedule had a lot to do with it, back in the day at leasr.

Jake Roberts vs Rick Rude (3/27/88) This started off to a good crowd reaction. They traded a couple of body slams in the first minute and it didn't really mean much. Roberts was over, but his wrist-lock sequence was quite dull, and they dropped that quickly as well. I still remember them running the ropes when I first watched this, and even then I was wondering what the hell they were doing. It still doesn't make sense to me. Rude took over when he dodged a knee, making for a clumsy Roberts bump. Rude used a long chinlock, and this was better than I remembered, as at least Roberts was grasping for freedom and hoping to get a reaction, despite the crowd being absolutely dead here. The "boring" chants began and doomed an already weak match. Roberts finally started his comeback, and there wasn't much there either. They hit a double clothesline, and we got to the 15 minute time limit with Rude on top, so Roberts never really caught a break. This was not as horrendous as many people said, but it was still bad. DUD

Yep, that's the one!

The Ultimate Warrior vs Frenchy Martin (11/24/87) Sadly, Vince was not on commentary to share his excitement. The mach went as well as everyone would expect, as Warrior was still very green and quite robotic in his movements. His clotheslines looked like they hurt like hell, and even a simple leapfrog looked weird when he did it. Martin understood his role at least, stalled a bit and also called most of the action, while Warrior didn't sell much to look as strong as possible. At one point, Warrior scooped up Martin awkwardly for a bodyslam and actually hurt his shoulder with the move, so the heel rolled out of the ring for a break. Once back in, Martin called for the finish, so Warrior pinned after 2 more stiff clothesline. Yikes. DUD

Didn't know that, thanks!

Billy Jack Haynes vs Nikolai Volkoff (10/16/87) My God, this was bad, and thankfully they only fought for 5 minutes, with the crowd somewhat invested in the "USA" chants. Volkoff looked horrible; he was immobile and sloppy, but let's be clear and point out that Haynes wasn't any good either. While the out of shape Volkoff bumped badly on a simple dropkick and could barely lift a knee for a gut shot, Haynes used a terrible clothesline that even Monsoon couldn't defend, also failing to capture the crowd in any way, as fans were only invested in chanting against Volkoff and mother Russia. Silly flashy finish for Haynes, as Volkoff's shoulders weren't completely down either. -1/2*