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Butch & Luke vs Boris Zhukov & Nikolai Volkoff (1/14/89) This was horrible. Lots of it consisted of 2 vs 1 or 2 vs 2 action for a long time, and the referee didn't do anything about it while it unfolded before his eyes. The Bushwhackers messed up a clothesline spot on Zhukov, then later made the Russians collide in the form of such a weak shoulder block that it wouldn't hurt a fly. To be fair, the heels weren't much better, and their control segment consisted of some bad Volkoff bearhugs, while Zhukov was throwing horrible hammers blows that made Volkoff's clothesline look like Stan Hansen was in the ring. This went too long at 10 minutes, and the announcer wasn't fun to listen to either. He never called the Bushwhackers by name as he couldn't tell them apart and talked about "Australia" chants that never happened. Yet another bad-looking Russian miscommunication at the end, so Volkoff somehow got over the top rope very goofily, while the babyfaces finished Zhukov. Bleh. -*

The Ultimate Warrior vs Super Ninja (11/16/88) Easily one of the worst squashes I have ever seen. Rip Oliver tried to work a weird style under a Great Sasuke-like costume and he started the match wonderfully by tripping while throwing a kick. A second kick was caught by Warrior, who dropped Ninja on his head without much care, as it looked like Ninja was probably trying to take a 180-degree bump but just fell flatly like a douchebag. Warrior booted Ninja, who once again took a clumsy fall outside the ring, and then threw him carelessly from the outside to ringside between the ropes. Warrior hit more bad strikes before his usual routine finish, getting the pinfall. This was ill-conceived, to say the least. DUD

The Junkyard Dog vs Andre the Giant (10/7/88) Andre playing a heel in France was fun. The match... yeah, not so much. Andre initially refused to fight and returned backstage. It took around 5 minutes for him to return to the ring, and the crowd didn't boo or react to that, as instead they got very quiet and confused. Once the bell rang, Andre dominated with some very bad-looking offence and sitting on Dog clumsly, while JYD spent a lot of time on the floor, which at least saved him from running out of steam right away. Andre tied himself to the ropes to receive horrible headbutts from JYD, who immediately started panting as soos as he had to do something. Andre got free and started exposing the turnbuckle in a very slow way, while JYD just looked at him without much reasoning, and they stumbled around in a baffling way for a bit. Andre was the one to eat the steel after all, but the spot didn't go anywhere, as he used a terrible boot to pin Dog. This was ugly. -**

The Junkyard Dog vs Hercules (9/11/88) I have no idea why they asked them to wrestle for 10 minutes, as JYD was clearly not having a good time and Hercules wasn't able to carry someone like him to a decent performance. JYD was actually somewhat motivated at the beginning, but he quickly gassed out and looked awkward in his movements, like when he hit a very terrible-looking clothesline and barely touched Hercules, who had to do all the work himself. Hercules had to fight with what he had, focusing on a heatless bearhug that didn't go anywhere, as its main goal was probably stopping JYD's panting. JYD broke free, and they had a mediocre finishing stretch, where Hercules went over with a quite smooth slingshot version. DUD

Ken Patera vs Bad News Brown (8/29/88) They started this quickly, putting over Brown's aggression, and his strikes were decent, but Patera was not on form and proved it immediately with a horrible clothesline. Patera looked either very unmotivated or inept at this point, as he was selling Brown's stuff terribly, wobbling in an uncoordinated way, and even Monsoon buried him for his regression. Patera used a weak-looking bearhug, with no setup or logic, before trying to switch it to the full nelson. However, Brown avoided it twice in a very robotic and clumsy sequence, that didn't do him any good. Brown was Irish-whipped to the corner and did a bad-looking spin that made a very slow Patera catch him in the corner anyway, before Brown used his finisher to win. The camera angle switched to hide that the move wasn't hit properly too, just like pretty much everything else in this match. -*

Hulk Hogan vs Andre The Giant (7/31/88) This was a little better than 'Mania IV, but still a bad match. I'd argue the cage set up didn't protect them enough and actually kind of made this worse, being a roadblock more than a resource. Andre choked Hogan with his own shirt, before using a headlock for a couple of minutes. Andre also tied Hogan to the cage with that shirt, which looked very preposterous as it was all torn apart, but thankfully Hogan broke free quickly. Andre pulled off one of the turnbuckles, as I guess having a STEEL CAGE around him wasn't good enough, and threw Hogan into it for a little blade job. Usual Hogan comeback, as he took care of both Andre and the interfering Heenan, and the Giant took a very sad bump on a clothesline. With both his enemies down, Hogan looked at the cage door in front to him, but decided to climb out instead just for the sake of it. DUD

I forgot where I heard this, it may have been a Kayfabe Commentaries DVD back in the day, but apparently this started with Buddy Rogers because he wanted to beat the traffic or something like that. I am not against a non WWF Title bout going last, if you give that spot to a Rockers vs Hart Foundation match and put a throwaway Hogan defence against Dino Bravo in the middle of the card, just to make things up, but this JYD/Bass deal was sad to watch.

George Steele vs Greg Valentine (6/25/88) People often quote Rhythm & Blues as the WWF not having a clue what to do with Valentine, but how about feuding with Steele in 1988 over a fucking doll? Horrible strikes from Steele, who also used the same doll as a weapon. It was a No DQ match, and Valentine used a chair in a very pathetic way, while Steele bit his calf and made the referee take a bump too because of it. Steele used and then hid a foreign object, despite the stipulation allowing to do what he wanted, which made no sense. A frustrated Valentine worked on Steele's leg for like 10 seconds, then stomped on the doll and was chased around the ring by Steele, who tried to retrieve his possession without selling the leg. As a result, Steele won by count-out, in a No DQ match. This was horrible and Vince Russo was probably taking notes in the stands. DUD

The Junkyard Dog vs Ron Bass (5/27/88) This main evented MSG for some reason, and you could literally see people leaving their seats as the match was going on, which was sad. They jumpstarted this, and JYD had some weak-looking strikes before doing his headbutt routine and literally nudging Bass towards the ring post with it. Bass stalled at ringside as more people left, and the ones that stayed were silent all along, while JYD used was visibly gassed out already. Bass took over with bad looking offence, which was made worse by JYD's immobile selling and the total silence in the arena. Bass used a chinlock, and even more people left. JYD started no-selling head shots and used a horrible roll-up, winning the match and immediately leaving the ring without celebrating. Hostile environment surely, but they didn't even try to go out of their way to fix it. -3/4*

Brutus Beefcake vs The Honky Tonk Man (3/27/88) This surely wasn't a masterpiece either. Honky did some solid character work by getting upset at Beefcake for messing up his hair and taking some comedy bumps, but they weren't too smooth here in terms of pacing or execution. Honky was thrown from the apron to the ring and didn't land like a gracious feather. Very weak punches from HTM in his control segment. Beefcake finally applied his sleeper and HTM was about to pass out, so Jimmy Hart decked the referee to save his client. Beefcake perfectly followed the 'babyfaces are dumb' scenario, thinking he'd won without any referee decision, bells ringing, fans popping or even his theme playing. The 3 minutes between the referee bump and the actual DQ being sanctioned also didn't age well, and surely the crowd wasn't happy enough with some of Hart's hair getting cut off in the process. DUD

I would, but I guess they all thought it was easier to sit in the hold for 2 or 3 minutes lol.

Hulk Hogan vs Andre The Giant (3/27/88) While 'Mania 3 was not nearly as bad as some people said, this was quite the shitshow, and thankfully they only went 5 minutes without overexposing Andre's condition. They jumpstarted this, thriving on a hot crowd, even though Andre was very limited and his strikes looked quite bad. Hogan easily got Andre off his feet with some punches, but then most of the bout consisted of Andre choking Hogan and using nerve holds to keep him down. Andre could barely move as Hogan was punching him in the corner. They started to fight over a chair, with Hogan using it first, but they both got disqualified anyway. Lazy booking and easy payday, even though it made sense to get Hogan out of the tournament early. DUD

I'm sure the gruelling schedule had a lot to do with it, back in the day at leasr.

Jake Roberts vs Rick Rude (3/27/88) This started off to a good crowd reaction. They traded a couple of body slams in the first minute and it didn't really mean much. Roberts was over, but his wrist-lock sequence was quite dull, and they dropped that quickly as well. I still remember them running the ropes when I first watched this, and even then I was wondering what the hell they were doing. It still doesn't make sense to me. Rude took over when he dodged a knee, making for a clumsy Roberts bump. Rude used a long chinlock, and this was better than I remembered, as at least Roberts was grasping for freedom and hoping to get a reaction, despite the crowd being absolutely dead here. The "boring" chants began and doomed an already weak match. Roberts finally started his comeback, and there wasn't much there either. They hit a double clothesline, and we got to the 15 minute time limit with Rude on top, so Roberts never really caught a break. This was not as horrendous as many people said, but it was still bad. DUD

Yep, that's the one!

The Ultimate Warrior vs Frenchy Martin (11/24/87) Sadly, Vince was not on commentary to share his excitement. The mach went as well as everyone would expect, as Warrior was still very green and quite robotic in his movements. His clotheslines looked like they hurt like hell, and even a simple leapfrog looked weird when he did it. Martin understood his role at least, stalled a bit and also called most of the action, while Warrior didn't sell much to look as strong as possible. At one point, Warrior scooped up Martin awkwardly for a bodyslam and actually hurt his shoulder with the move, so the heel rolled out of the ring for a break. Once back in, Martin called for the finish, so Warrior pinned after 2 more stiff clothesline. Yikes. DUD

Didn't know that, thanks!

Billy Jack Haynes vs Nikolai Volkoff (10/16/87) My God, this was bad, and thankfully they only fought for 5 minutes, with the crowd somewhat invested in the "USA" chants. Volkoff looked horrible; he was immobile and sloppy, but let's be clear and point out that Haynes wasn't any good either. While the out of shape Volkoff bumped badly on a simple dropkick and could barely lift a knee for a gut shot, Haynes used a terrible clothesline that even Monsoon couldn't defend, also failing to capture the crowd in any way, as fans were only invested in chanting against Volkoff and mother Russia. Silly flashy finish for Haynes, as Volkoff's shoulders weren't completely down either. -1/2*

SD Jones vs Frenchy Martin (9/18/87) Very dull match. This wasn't a babyface vs heel manager match, as Martin was presented as a regular wrestler and locked up with SD, despite none of it being actually good. Martin indulged in long rest holds and chokes, while SD was happy to sit in them and without getting burned out. SD's comeback didn't look very good and was watered down by Martin taking his time and bailing out of the ring. It didn't please the crowd, and there was no pop once SD finally struck Martin in the face after several minutes of struggling. Martin used the tights to steal a pinfall, but he pretty much lasted 10 minutes in the ring with SD, dominating 90% of the match and beating him without any outrageous methods, which was a bit puzzling. 1/4*

The Junkyard Dog & Tony Atlas vs Kamala & Sika (8/28/87) Prichard: "Kamala and Sika trained, but not always trained in great wrestling skills." McGuirk: "No, it's more like out of Africa." These 2 and Pete Doherty formed an awful announcing trio. Just as a starting spot, Kamala missed a shot and couldn't get outside the ring, so he hung on the ropes for a bit before clumsily forcing himself onto the floor. It didn't go much better with Atlas and Sika, as Atlas hit a headbutt that missed by at least 2 inches. The heels isolated JYD, which was a mistake as he couldn't move, while Atlas could, despite him wearing a very cheap Superman costume for some reason. Kamala and JYD botched a leapfrog spot, and Kamala almost sat on JYD's head, which would have probably crushed his skull. Sika tried a bad-looking crossbody on JYD, who reversed it and won. It's astonishing how much they managed to do wrong in 5 minutes! -*

Hillbilly Jim vs The One Man Gang (8/15/87) This was worked like a comedy match because of Little Beaver's continuous interference, as he stood on the apron and also hit OMG with a shoe on 2 different occasions, as the referee didn't disqualify him. Later, the official also counted Beaver's pinfall attempt on OMG and, yeah, OMG indeed. The match itself, apart from this ridiculousness, was a bunch of dull rest holds and bad selling by Hillbilly. Slick interfered too at one point, and the 'fight' on the outside led to a count-out. Yeah, this sucked, it should have been a tag match to justify all the gaga, and it definitely didn't need to last almost 15 minutes. DUD

Koko B. Ware vs Nikolai Volkoff (7/18/87) This was quite embarrassing to watch, as Volkoff could barely move and Koko didn't have the skills to carry this match on his own. Volkoff took his time, getting some decent heat from the crowd in the process, but most of his lockups and attacks looked subpar. Koko had to go out of his way to make it all look better than it was, selling a kick outside the ring for a long time while Volkoff did a cartwheel for some reason. They did a couple of spots where Volkoff missed a knee in the corner (at such a slow pace) to weaken him, but it never really paid off. Koko's comeback wasn't too good due to the weak bumping of his opponent, including the final flying dropkick, as Volkoff got hit on the hip of all places and crashed clumsily onto the floor. 1/4*

The Junkyard Dog vs Paul Orndorff (6/14/87) Both wrestlers were breaking down and past their prime here, which was quite sad to see. The pace was quite slow, and this ended up being pretty boring and uneventful, which caused some crowd apathy despite a good response to JYD's entrance. JYD controlled most of the match with some basic arm work, and they just didn't follow that up in any way, rather staring at each other for seconds to complete silence from the MSG crowd. Orndorff got a couple of minutes of offence on Dog, who couldn't move around very well. First, he bumped clumsily on the ropes after a knee, but then he got hit with probably the worst stungun I have ever seen, which was also the finish, unfortunately. 1/4*

Debbie Combs vs The Fabulous Moolah (5/18/87) Dead crowd. Lots of hair-pulling, snapmares, and slingshots from Combs that didn't benefit Moolah, as her bumps looked quite bad. It actually got worse once Moolah got on top, as she used some horrible knees and hammer blows, working on the legs for about 10 seconds to set up a Boston Crab, before forgetting about it completely. I actually appreciated Moolah not repeating all of her usual skits, but she kept some of them, like the useless rear bodyscissors sequence that looked bad here as well. This felt way too forced, especially during a spot where a tired Combs made it back before the 10-count, only to assault Moolah, who was simply looking at her without any self-defence or anything. Combs won by count-out later. DUD

Sika vs Moondog Spot (2/15/87) A very weird heel vs heel match, as neither of them was sympathetic or barely decent anymore. In an hilarious bit, even Heenan was sarcastic about the quality of this match, while babyface Monsoon had to stick up for both guys. Surreal. Sika's strikes were awful, and he worked a loooooooooooong chinlock, staring at the crowd and daring them to react in any way. This brought out a tepid "Sika sucks" chant, but mostly consisted of awkward silence. To Spot's partial defence, it's not ideal when your opponent can't even flip properly for a snapmare. Sika won with a sudden Samoan drop, while I believe that another 3 or 4 minutes here probably would have taken this to all-time low levels. -1/2*