tcg91

Kerry Von Erich vs The Warlord (4/22/91) The crowd wasn't very invested in this match, and I guess they were rewarded with a performance that reflected their interest. Kerry and Warlord had a test of strength, and both men's physiques looked outstanding here, but this was a lifeless match despite some early efforts to get the fans involved. Warlord used a bearhug and did some squeezing, while Kerry didn't use his arms or legs to fight it or do anything about it, all in front of a silent crowd. Warlord also did some posing and looked gassed early in the match, but at least he sent Kerry back-first into the post to keep his offence somewhat coherent. Kerry's sunset flip was absolutely horrible, which broke my heart considering who he used to be. Kerry nailed some decent punches before applying a sleeper, and they both fell outside the ring with a very light bump, then fought like idiots instead of getting back inside to beat the count. DUD

Well, the insane part of me wishes Warrior had a longer run lol.

Butch & Luke vs Hercules & Paul Roma (4/22/91) They stalled for ages at the beginning, which was probably about 5 minutes but felt like an eternity. Power & Glory fell prey to the Bushwhackers' stupid spots, which got a very tepid crowd reaction and gradually turned into the fans not caring about anything else. The babyfaces indulged in some more comedy spots that watered down the match and didn't get over very well. On top of that, Butch's clothesline on Hercules and his subsequent selling looked absolutely horrible. Finally, the heels took over, and the match became at least barely watchable, but you could hear a pen drop, as nobody cared and they wrestled in near-total silence. Butch tried his best after the hot tag, which wasn't much, while the referee, as usual, lost all control of the match. The finishing stretch, unsurprisingly, wasn't good either, and Roma pinned Butch as Luke tripped on the ropes and couldn't make the save. Yikes. -3/4*

Butch & Luke vs Brian Knobbs & Jerry Sags (4/15/91) This was mercifully short, as it didn't look very promising. The Bushwhackers did their usual bad-looking double-team offence on the Nasties, and seeing the big guys sell for that weak stuff wasn't very appealing. You'd figure Butch and Luke would change their combinations depending on their opponents, but that wasn't the case. The Nasties collided awkwardly and were forced out of the ring a couple of times, to a fairly responsive crowd reaction, before they got the upper hand on Luke. It lasted about a minute before the (non)hot tag, though. They messed up a spot later on, as the babyfaces had Knobbs pinned after a combination and Sags made the save too late, so the referee somehow had to stop counting the pinfall to allow Sags' rescue. Thankfully, the Nasties won shortly afterwards, following the usual referee distraction. 1/4*

Jake Roberts vs Rick Martel (3/24/91) I always hated this match, but I re-watched it twice here just to make sure I gave it a fair chance. Some parts of it were actually quite fit for the Blindfold stipulation: Roberts using the fans reaction to find Martel or moving to the right after an irish whip, assuming Martel was going to be in front of him (makes you wonder why nobody does it!). However, this mad major flaws, starting with the way the hoods looked and the way they moved around, as it felt like they could clearly see though them anyway. My biggest problem with this match was the way they wrestled when they actually caught each others: when having an opponent in a hold, they should have been able to squeeze it with their eyes closed, or they should have been smart enough to keep their fists up in defence every now and then. At times, rather than a match between two blindfolded wrestlers, it looked like 2 untrained blind guys. Roberts hit the DDT and, despite dropping people on their heads hundreds of times in his career, we were also supposed to believe he didn't figure out Martel was going to be on his left side. -*1/2

The Ultimate Warrior vs Sgt. Slaughter (2/16/91) The crowd was very quiet here, apart from a few moments during Warrior's attacks. Warrior ignored Slaughter to chase Sherri under the ring, which took a fair amount of time, before he ripped her shirt off. Slaughter used that to take over, while Sherri put her hands on Warrior at least twice right in front of the referee and nothing happened. They also messed up a simple slap spot, as Warrior ducked to make Sherri slap Slaughter by mistake, but it didn't land. Slaughter was at least consistently targeting Warrior's back, but his chokes and hammers were very weak, while Sherri had to slap the mat a few times to wake the fans up. Warrior hit Slaughter with the WWF Title, but for some reason, it wasn't a DQ. He then pushed and clotheslined the referee for literally no reason, other than them needing a finish for this match. DUD

Jimmy Snuka vs The Warlord (12/28/90) Very quiet crowd. Warlord looked so roided up he could have exploded at any moment, but his strikes were extremely weak. Bad tempo and chemistry from both sides, as Warlord bent his head too early on a rebound and stayed like that for an awkward amount of time before getting hit. Snuka was very 'heavy' himself, moving strangely and throwing some weak chops before taking a sad-looking bump to the outside following a big boot. Snuka was visibly taking it easy to catch his breath, including while 'selling' a dull bearbug, before starting his comeback in a silent MSG. Not much to write home about and Warlord got disqualified for choking Snuka into the ropes, yawn. DUD Saba Simba vs Greg Valentine (12/28/90) Both men took a very bad approach to the match, walking and pacing just a few inches from each other without any guard or realistic self-defence stance. Simba hit some subpar strikes on Valentine and did a dance, which surely entertained McMahon. Valentine applied a heatless chinlock, then used a goofy takedown and suddenly started working Simba's leg, which was very weird and didn't go anywhere anyway. Simba no-sold Valentine's attacks (and the leg), proceeding with weak headbutts before the worst clothesline of Valentine's career took him down. Valentine got on top but pushed the referee out of the way and was disqualified. While definitely not the worst match of this era, this was easily one of the most random, purposeless and least coherent bouts I have seen in a long time. -*1/4

SD Jones vs Mike Sharpe (10/19/90) Sigh. The crowd kind of supported this at the beginning, as Sharpe did all he could to be annoying and it worked. Their routine stuff was nothing special and SD probably paid homage to DeNucci here as he looked at Sharpe, hit him once... looked at him some more... got to the ropes... hit him once again... looked at him getting up. Sharpe took over when SD missed a corner splash and indulged in some armwork that was fine, albeit quite boring and ignored by both the crowd and the announcers. Sharpe changed his focus to the neck without much rationale. SD had a bad comeback, until Sharpe won by hitting his opponent with a loaded forearm. DUD Tugboat vs Dino Bravo (10/19/90) Bravo assaulted Tugboat straight away and tried hard, at least for a bit, but Tugboat was quite weird with his bumps and clotheslines, so Bravo had to oversell an atomic drop and it admittedly looked hilarious. They wasted some time and then did a test of strength that didn't accomplish much. Tugboat hit some horrible kicks, then Bravo used a chinlock and at least the match wasn't too horrible when he was in charge. Bravo hit an impressive atomic drop and capitalized by... another chinlock, which didn't make a lick of sense. Tugboat's comeback wasn't too long, as he took a bad bump to the floor and won by DQ as Bravo didn't allow him back into the ring. Stupid finish, but this wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be. 1/4*

Ronnie Garvin vs Bob Bradley (9/21/90) The MSG crowd didn't give this a chance, being very numb towards it from the get-go and chanting "boring" very early on while they were doing a side headlock sequence. However, they went 12 minutes here, and they had no business doing that, which made things worse despite some decent stuff here and there. Bradley's limb work went nowhere, and he tried to do some poses and cartwheels to get some heat, but he failed miserably. Garvin sat in holds for several minutes, then came back with headbutts (despite his head technically hurting due to the long holds) and worked on Bradley's leg for about 10 seconds before they never went back to it again. They did some awkward roll-up sequence at the end, with Garvin getting the pinfall. 1/4*

Nikolai Volkoff vs Sgt. Slaughter (9/21/90) Gorilla and Heenan put over both men's shape, which... okay. There was quite a lot of stalling here, which didn't sit well with the crowd, as they didn't want to cheer for either of them and so they were quite numb to must stuff. They tried some shoulder blocks to establish a power stalemate, and MSG went silent for a bit. Volkoff got a shy pop for a scoop slam before Slaughter retreated again and took over with eye pokes and back rakes, which didn't get him much heat at all, as the execution wasn't particularly good. We got "boring" chants as of a result of this not working at all. Later Volkoff hit a horrendous clothesline, and Slaughter somehow manage to connect with an even worse one for a double knockdown. spot Slaughter got up first and used the camel clutch to win. This was bad. DUD

Tugboat Thomas vs Pez Whatley (3/19/90) I loved this, it was so ridiculous. The MSG crowd was very tepid here and watched Tugboat strut goofily before hitting some unimpressive power moves on Whatley. Whatley broke free of a shitty bearhug with a simple poke and so Tugboat took a couple of silly bumps that made the Fingerpoke of Doom look like a masterpiece in comparison. Later on, Tugboat hit some kind of ridiculous standing splashes using his belly in the corner, then they started stalling and wobbling around, which was very weird at that stage as they should have been begged to go home early. Tugboat used another clumsy slam, a goofy running clothesline and a decent splash to win. This lasted too long, and one could tell Tugboat was nowhere near ready or fit for a push. DUD

Koko B. Ware vs Frenchy Martin (3/19/90) Ugh. This got 13 minutes, and the crowd really couldn't give a shit about it, which made it even more painful. Martin lost most of the weak wristlock sequences, but managed to dominate the match with the longest and dullest nerve holds, making me miss the Samoans this time around. The crowd chanted "boring" on a couple of occasions. Martin hurt his knee on a missed attack and limped for 5 seconds, but that spot was then ignored for the rest of the match. What made this match worse were the referee's pinfalls, which were slow and often out of place. Martin missed a clothesline at one point, but Koko ignored that and fell to the floor anyway, which looked very dumb. After the sixth or seventh nerve hold, Koko finally blocked the next one and had a quick comeback, first hitting a shitty dropkick and then winning with the Ghostbuster. -1/2*

Dusty Rhodes vs Akeem (2/19/90) This was embarrassing and quite sad to watch. They did some of their dances, which I guess was fine given their characters, but what was stupid was Dusty hitting Akeem (with some bad strikes, by the way) and Akeem selling the punches and elbows by doing his dance. It was just an attempt to get a laugh out of the fans, and it failed, as the crowd was silent for the whole bout . The announcers tried to put this match over as a big test, then gave up trying once it turned into a big joke, like when Dusty ducked Akeem's punches without even moving out of the way, as Akeem was just punching the air. Akeem took over with a dull nerve hold, which he eventually switched to a bearhug, making little to no sense when they were clearly just taking a breather after getting gassed. The managers got involved and Slick hit a ridiculous-looking knee on Akeem, leading to Dusty winning by countout. -3/4*

Jim Brunzell vs Bad News Brown (2/19/90) Brunzell looked in decent shape and motivated, but boy, was he not over in MSG by then. Literally zero reaction to him. On the other hand, Brown looked extremely lazy, or maybe he just wasn't the right guy for bumping around and making his opponent look good. A monkey flip from Brunzell looked especially sloppy. Brunzell then worked the arm, and this got so over that it led to "boring" chants, before the cameras panned to a Japanese photographer for a few seconds, as the announcers seemed relieved not to have to discuss the bout for a while. Brown didn't sell the arm at all when he was in command, running into a great Brunzell dropkick that the MSG crowd sadly didn't care about. Brown won with the Ghetto Blaster. 1/4*

Alright, I’m now done with the 80s (plus the portion of 1979 following the WWWF officially becoming the WWF). I’ve got 30 matches with negative star ratings. As a bit of trivia, Andre the Giant and JYD are the only two wrestlers I’ve awarded ‘Worst Match of the Year’ to twice, while Dominic DeNucci and Afa have the most appearances on the list, tied at 4 each. The list: 1. Tony Atlas vs Ted Arcidi -***1/2 (8/9/86) 2. Rocky Johnson vs David Schultz -*** (11/26/84) 3. Bob Backlund vs Swede Hanson -**1/4 (10/22/79) 4. The Junkyard Dog vs Andre the Giant -** (10/7/88) 5. Joyce Grable & Vivian St. John vs The Fabulous Moolah & Kitty Adams -*3/4 (7/30/79) 6. Rocky Johnson vs Afa -*1/2 (10/22/83) 7. The Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant -*1/2 (10/31/89) 8. Cousin Junior vs Hercules Hernandez -*1/2 (11/25/85) 9. Jill Fontaine vs The Fabulous Moolah -* (4/8/81) 10. Bobo Brazil, SD Jones & Rocky Johnson vs Afa, Sika & Samula -* (5/21/84)

The Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant (10/31/89) Well, now I know why they used to do 30-second squashes on the road... this was terrible. Andre choked Warrior, who managed to reverse the choke, and the referee did nothing about them being on the ropes for several seconds before Warrior took a goofy dive to the outside after missing a running clothesline. Horrible strikes from Andre, then Warrior clotheslined him out of the ring, only for Andre to take a very bad bump himself. They went through a very lethargic sequence, starting with Warrior putting on a weak bearhug on Andre, who then reversed it, while the crowd grew quieter and quieter. The holds were forgotten and meant nothing, as Andre tied himself to the ropes yet again, only for him to boot Warrior by clumsily lifting his foot, which was an ill-conceived spot. The referee missed Heenan being in the ring for like 30 seconds before calling a DQ when Warrior 'slammed' Heenan onto Andre. Horrible stuff. -*1/2

I can't remember a thing about their 1986 match despite being on YT, so either I never watched it or it didn't leave a great impression on me. Loved their 1987 match though.

Jim Duggan vs Dino Bravo (10/13/89) The London bout between Duggan and HTM from the same tour was a below average match, but very entertaining thanks to the crowd reaction. This one... yeah, not so much. The fans were very tepid, apart from the usual 'hooooo' and some 'USA' chants, which always makes sense in Paris. Bravo wasn't over and he tried to get some heat in vain by stalling. He spent a lot of time on the floor at one point and the referee wouldn't count him out, so some fans started doing it instead, probably wishing the match to end right there. Bravo used some lazy strikes and a long chinlock to take over, then it was Duggan's turn to take time at ringside, without the heel doing anyting to capitalise on that. They did a bad-looking collision spot, that also involved the referee and seemed like a Benny Hill tribute more than anything else. Duggan won with a clothesline. 1/4*

Dusty Rhodes vs The Honky Tonk Man (8/27/89) This gave me vibes of Triple H vs Sting in terms of being a great idea in Vince McMahon's mind only and leaving everybody else puzzled. They stalled a lot, played to a good crowd, and did some comedy routines that were funny at times. Both guys went through the motions here, as an out of shape Dusty barely touched Honky with his elbows, and Honky himself baffled me when he stayed on all fours for like 10 seconds during an irish whip spot, almost like he felt there was no need to get up earlier. HTM used Hart's megaphone on Dusty's ribs, then took over with a loooooong chinlock, so hitting Dusty in the face/neck would have made all the difference in the world here, perception wise. The crowd died during this and wasn't too hot during Dusty's comeback, even though the cheers came back for the guitar finish. 1/4*

Paul Roma vs Sandy Beach (7/10/89) I understand the concept of putting a lesser match right before the main event(s), so the crowd can take a breath and not burn out. However, you could have heard a pen drop here as they started wrestling to complete silence, followed by some jeers. Their work itself wasn't good either, sloppy on several instances, including Roma messing up the timing of a shoulder block and then a Roma armdrag where Beach fell on his opponent's back without the proper elevation. Roma did some subpar leg work on Beach, who actually sold it quite well, ignoring a few awkward twitches and rolls on the mat. Beach got some offence and literally the first thing he did was a backbreaker, and didn't feel a thing when slamming 300 pounds onto his weakened leg. Beach also climbed the top rope with no issues, but Roma stopped him and hit a bad clothesline before finally ending this with a powerslam. 1/4*

The Big John Studd vs Andre the Giant (5/13/89) Studd attacked Andre straight away, and at that point there wasn't a single Andre match where he didn't tie himself up in the ropes. You'd figure a veteran would know how to avoid that by then! Anyway, Studd didn't capitalise on it, so Andre got free and started choking his opponent for a long time. Andre used both a bearhug and a shoulder hold in under a minute, not creating a coherent strategy, while the match also didn't feel right because Studd wasn't over as a babyface and the crowd was very quiet. More bad-looking stuff from Andre, until Studd finally hit him with a single punch to the ribs like 5 minutes in that was supposed to turn the match around, but it got such a mild pop and a goofy fall from Andre, sadly. Also, the moment was quickly neutralised by Haku and Jim Duggan interfering, so the match was thrown off after a whole minute of them attacking the participants without the referee doing anything, until he finally decided to call for the DQ. DUD

Hercules vs Dino Bravo (4/23/89) "This will surely be a collision" - Tony Schiavone. Yep, a trainwreck. The initial lockups weren't too bad, and I dug their implicit goal of establishing who was the stronger man, but this had a quite boring pace, and Bravo's retreats pretty soon became very uneventful, as they repeated the same sequence a few times: Bravo used a rest hold, got the ropes to stop the full nelson, bailed to the outside, returned to the ring for another rest hold, repeat. Moreover, Bravo used a long chinlock only to switch to a Boston Crab and then a bearhug as well, which didn't make much sense in terms of strategy, as he never targeted the back consistently until that point. Hercules moved flawlessly in his comeback, not selling his own back a tiny bit and even applying the torture rack without any issues. They went home shortly after with a dirty Bravo roll-up. 1/4*

Jake Roberts vs Andre The Giant (4/2/89) Andre jump-started this and sent Roberts head-first into an exposed turnbuckle, which led to the Giant using a chinlock on Roberts, even though they quickly moved on from that and never focused on it again. Andre literally leaned on Jake in the corner like he wanted to squash him, looking like he didn't even apply pressure in a very badly conceived spot that didn't look very good. Andre did the usual spot of tying himself in the ropes, but then got free and used some more horrible offence on Roberts. After dominating most of the match, Andre dropped down on one knee pretending Roberts had kicked him, even though that kick never connected, which was made even weirder by the dead crowd and the confused announcers. Roberts tried to use the snake on Andre, while Andre argued with referee Big John Studd and then attacked him, which resulted in a DQ. -1/2*

Butch & Luke vs Jacques Rougeau & Raymond Rougeau (4/2/89) I expected this to be a comedy match, and instead they tried a more traditional bout, despite a bad opening spot that consisted of the Bushwhackers stealing Jimmy Hart's jacket and making him bump onto the Rougeaus. Both Bushwhackers were so out of place here, slow and sloppy. Butch missed a punch by a mile on one occasion, while Luke took a very goofy bump after receiving a weak hammer blow to the back. The Rougeaus started posing for some reason, triggering the babyfaces' shitty-looking double move for the victory. While this was not good, but quite unoffensive at 5 minutes, it looked much worse due to a dead crowd. DUD

Rockin' Robin vs Judy Martin (1/15/89) Not a good match. Robin actually showed some fire, but Martin looked rough, as she missed the timing on a few spots in a very outrageous way, like rebounding off the ropes too late (so Robin had to dropkick a ghost, rather than missing the heel by a second) or standing up too late for the finishing crossbody spot, as she was originally on her knees like she expected to receive the move while down there. Nothing stuck in terms of limb work either; this looked like a random 5-minute PPV match that was very badly put together. Sherri was on commentary and was much yelling at them to go home so she could face the winner, which was unintentionally hilarious as everyone in the arena wanted them to go home as well. 1/4*