Boondocks Kernoodle

1) You don't have to be in the business to report on something. Would you say that someone who has never run for office is therefore unqualified to report on politics? 2) Technically Meltzer was "in the business" around '87 I think when WWF hired him to do some research on international markets or something. I don't really know the story. 3) The fact that he isn't in the business pretty much inherently makes him more trustworthy than those who are. 4) I'm sure TV ratings have been down since the end of the super-hot Cena-Michaels program and the Trump angle. 5) PPV buyrates are going to be down, yes, for a bunch of B-shows, especially when you have 16 PPVs a year. 6) Why would Meltzer lie about house show attendance? He definitely isn't a WWE apologist. It might even be a stretch to call him a WWE fan. If business were down, trust me, you'd hear all about it and why this proves that Cena's offense is fake-looking and WWE needs more MMA influence and so on, etc.

Shouldn't Triple H be past the point where he has to protect himself given he's the son-in-law of the boss, especially from someone who's so old? This isn't about protecting himself, it's about Triple H being a mark for himself and using his power to subtly tarnish the legend of anyone who's seen as a bigger star than him. I've said this before, but if Triple H was smart he'd offer to put Ric Flair over in his retirement match at WrestleMania next year because it would build up even more good will and respect with the smarks than he's got already and thus he could dine off that job for years and years. 1) Pleasing smarks is not a noble goal and it's not something any wrestler should aspire to, let alone one as successful as HHH. 2) Nothing will ever stop smarks from bitching about HHH. Nothing will ever stop smarks from bitching about anything.

I'm kind of ambivalent towards this whole Flair situation. Sure, he's given a lot to the wrestling business. But he's also made a hell of a lot of money over the years, so it's not like he's gained nothing from wrestling. I can understand how he feels like he's been treated poorly, but to be fair, how many other 58-year-olds are given the opportunity live out their "I'm not that old, am I?" fantasies on a national stage for a six-figure salary despite clearly diminished performance skills? Of course, to say WWE is doing him a favor might be a bit of a stretch considering the damage he continues to do to his horribly-abused body with every match. But WWE doesn't really have an obligation to its employees to put them over on TV. Their obligations are to make money, entertain their fans, and do their best to keep their employees safe from injury (they don't do that last one too well). But I'm sure the fans would go for a big Flair retirement match at Wrestlemania, so why not? I don't really care either way whether he ever comes back.

I'm sure if some inquiring mind were to contact WWE with a request to have Victoria take a polygraph test regarding drug use, they'd sign right up! Great idea, Victoria. You got some guts, woman.

Couldn't you say the same for boxing and football? Well, at least about it being hazardous. Obviously those sports have governing bodies in place which will stop a person from competing if they are too fucked up. But couldn't a similar argument be made that those sports "probably shouldn't exist"?

OK seriously now why are the Dudleys even on this list? I really have to know.

Regarding the Steiners: Meltzer said once that Sting would never get into the HOF, and I'm thinking that if the guy who headlined WCW's biggest show ever doesn't qualify, then neither do two guys who spent most of their careers working the semi-mains and undercards in that same promotion.

I want to read this, although it's kind of lame that it ends with him coming to WWE. I'm sure the stories of the WWE backstage environment would be fun to read, especially his encounters with HHH. Too bad that with him probably coming back to WWE, that story won't be heard for a while, or if his next book is written while he is under contract with WWE, he's more likely to hold back with the interesting stuff.

God, I thought the "MAYBE NANCY KILLED DANIEL AND CHRIS KILLED HER OUT OF REVENGE AND THEN COULDN'T TAKE THE GUILT" stuff was dumb when it was just coming from mooks on TSM and DVDVR, but it that's what WWE is trying to imply, then Jesus, I hate wrestling.

Why would he retire? He's kept going for 14 years since then, he clearly didn't want to.

OH SHIT THE HORSE MATCH I know what I'm watching now.

Am I the only one who finds it hilarious how seriously Dave takes this thing? I mean, a recall election?

Bix, I don't know if there are any more Bixenspan Groups in the future since I guess you had some problems with the Kaiju guys a couple of weeks back, but you should really try to do one with some guys from this board. Particularly Loss, I'd really like to hear you and him discuss wrestling.

I was watching the THE version of Bash '90 and they were using "Badstreet" at that time. I believe their performance of that other song you mentioned at the Clash in January '92 was the first time they ever came down to it.

That was Shelly Martinez. Allegedly he tried to hit on her and she rejected him, but her release was supposedly mostly due to the fact that A: Vince didn't like her look and B: She was a Heyman pet project and Stephanie, in taking over as head of talent relations, had no use for her.

They didn't build the show around it. It was a promo that couldn't have lasted more than two minutes. The show featured Pillman beating Liger, a Sting-Flair match, the return of Luger, Hogan beating Big Bubba, the setup for the next week's Hogan-Luger match, a Sabu promo, a V.K. Wallstreet promo, Scott Norton brawling with Randy Savage, and Mean Gene announcing some dude as a contest winner. All of this was given more attention than Hogan promoting shilling for PASTAMANIA, BROTHER.

Would you really call that a con? To me, it just seems like a case of "Hey, guys, promote my restaurant." "Sure, Hulk!" I doubt there was much deception involved.

Am I an asshole for saying that I really hope this does happen and the company's insanity returns to late 2005/early 2006 levels where each week they would do something that would make you think it was the dumbest thing they had ever done and then they would find a way to top it the next week? (i.e. JR gets fired on air > Colon surgery skit > Austin asked to job to Coach > Orton crashes Eddie's lowrider > Orton sees Undertaker in the mirror, Josh Matthews talks in Taker's voice > Tim White attempts suicide > Orton tells Rey that Eddie's IN HELL) While I know it's hard to see the good in such an awful situation, the desensitized wrestling fan in me is eager to see how all this criticism affects their TV.

But wait, I thought building characters and solid promotion was the Lesson of 2006. I mean, isn't that why Tito & Ken drew such big numbers when everyone knew it was gonna suck as a fight?

The big difference was that Wrestlemania was the biggest pay-per-view of the year. The previous year's show had done half a million buys out of five million homes with PPV capabilities, and by WM IV the number of homes with PPV had doubled. In the end there was only a slight increase in buys over WM3 and the cable companies were disappointed.

Three reasons why the Rumble was down: 1) It was the second Cena-Umaga match, and yes, last year was the second Cena-Edge match, but Edge beating Cena for the belt was more an angle than a match and besides which, there's a lot more intrigue revolving around a babyface attempting to get his title back than a champion facing the guy who he already beat for a second time. 2) Batista-Kennedy was a weak title match and nobody thought Kennedy had a chance. 3) They didn't really do any angles around the Rumble. There was no "Rey winning it for Eddie" this year, just a bunch of dudes entering and wanting to win.

As opposed to tonight's PPV, which featured Christy Hemme vs A Fat Dude In A Thong in a tuxedo match. Worst promotion ever? I'm having trouble saying no!

I thought TNA was fairly good in 2005. In an incredible coincidence this was (I believe) the only year in which Russo was not involved with the promotion at all.

I don't trust Shining Time Station characters for wrestling news. Anyway, Cena/Taker and Batista/Michaels is kind of dumb. Quite honestly, even Cena/Batista and Michaels/Taker would have been a better plan. They could have had Michaels win the Rumble, then Taker beat Batista at No Way Out (I know some of you will say that's too big a match to waste on a show like that, but having it on that show would guarantee a good buyrate for NWO, whereas Wrestlemania will get a good buyrate no matter what is on it). Michaels could then choose to go to Smackdown and face Taker for the belt with the storyline being that they have not wrestled in nearly a decade and Undertaker has never defeated Michaels. Batista could go to Raw and challenge Cena for his title and there would be a lot of anticipation for their first ever meeting. (And yes I know they wrestled in OVW)

I don't know if it's really that hard to figure out why Bam Bam didn't make it as big as everyone thought. He came into WWF as a face, and he was never going to be able to leapfrog the likes of Hogan and Savage. He probably would have been better as a heel as he could have drawn big money doing a house show run with Hogan, but I guess they had enough fat heels at the time (Andre, OMG, Bundy) and felt that he should be pushed as a face. He only lasted a year before leaving and turning up briefly in the NWA, and after that I guess he spent the next several years mostly in Japan. He returned to WWF and got a decent push, and was supposed to be pushed big as a face after doing the job for LT but I guess politics got in the way of that. From there he spent several years in ECW in the pre-TNN period, and although he was a big star there he never really seemed to stand out among the "authentic" ECW stars like RVD and Sabu. He went to WCW in late '98 and had a pretty hot feud with Goldberg, and then faded into the midcard until that promotion went under. Overall, I'd say it was his lengthy absences from the national wrestling scene which hindered his career the most.