Bierschwale

The main from the one of the first Oz Academy shows (Oz-Shimoda) ended with them both covered head-to-toe (and the canvas polka-dotted) in a match that went under 15 minutes. I was surprised that nobody had mentioned Muta's fountain either, but I just figured something like, "Well, EVERYONE knows that one..." so nobody felt a need to post it. Same thing to a lesser extent with the Blonde Redhead herself in Hokuto.

When Necro takes the exploder off of the apron in the match against Joe... yeah. The most impressive use of making something look absolutely horrific was the electric saw spot that MoxBrose took at a Tournament of Death. The blood comes off of his forehead like a waterfall.

There was a comment in the Uproxx thread for Monday's RAW where someone made the joke asking why Ambrose's jorts were so long.

What, were they NOT supposed to have Del Rio and Sheamus pointlessly in the match for the belts instead of Ambrose and Rollins? Come on, people love those guys, and they're both totally believable as winners! God, do I hope that they don't put fuckin' Van Dam in the briefcase match.

I've made "EdgeRock" jokes about Reigns from the first time that I saw him wrestle. Last night, to me, felt like an E&C-kind of plot, where they'd set off a chain of backstage shenanigans over the course of the night and sneak their way into a big match which they'd usually end up winning.

His new theme definitely had some Aladdin Sane-style piano on it, regarding a Bowie reference.

I've thought from the moment that Shield breakup rumors had started that Ambrose and Ziggler (So, what, a year ago at this point?) would make a fantastic tag team and if they ARE disassociating, to whatever extent that they are, Ambrose and Reigns, they should make it happen. Not necessarily to chase the tag titles (Because we just got an even better version of one of the company's best face tag teams ever last night, and they deserve another round in the cycle if Harper/Rowan win at MitB), but just two guys who have common enemies that they really, really hate. I really can't see them putting the belts on Orton again, so he'll need something to do between now and SummerSlam (which I think should be Batista-Orton, since I assume that Batista would be back and it'd give him a legitimately good comeback), and if Reigns doesn't win at MitB, either (say he gets screwed out of the belts by Rollins), I'd love to see one last Trios War at Battleground: Ambrose/Reigns/Ziggler-HHH/Orton/Rollins.

People to do spiked drink jokes this year: Roman Reigns and Betty White. Strong company.

Evolution-Shield had a "HOLY SHIT!" chant. There was a "THIS IS AWESOME!" chant for the first round match in the IC #1 Contender tournament between Barrett and Ziggler. If it hadn't been played out before that, it sure as hell was after.

I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't be what led to a new boom, but I'd really like to dump an omnipresent GM figure and just have faction wars, and groups making their own matches between themselves. I already referenced him, but I really liked Foley as GM in 2000. He was partisan, sure, but he seemed to just be having a good time without any true animosity towards anyone. Stephanie's SD run was also fun. Just have someone being likable and keeping the trains running on time.

So, don't do two of the things that were hugely significant parts of the last "boom"? Because for better or worse, they were. Were there really ? Take Steve Austin and The Rock off the equation, and all you got is stupid insider references and shitty comedy. And that was basically WCW in 2000. You wouldn't call Montreal a kayfabe-breaking moment? Now, obviously that is the most extreme example possible, but I would also consider the Outsiders' debut to be kayfabe-breaking. Anything that acknowledges that wrestling isn't real in any way is self-conscious or kayfabe-breaking. Making references to make references is obviously pointless and wasteful, but there is confirmed value in acknowledging what's outside of kayfabe as long as you don't just come out and say it. The Bryan storyline was entirely about the idea that the company could and would pull the rug out from under him at any time; same with the Rhodes Family feud. Everybody knows that it's fake, so by acknowledging what's happened off-screen to the right extent has become probably THE most effective way to build heat in the last fifteen years. Even if you know that it's fake, the idea that a guy is going to be screwed legitimately makes things more intense and allows the performers to put in performances that have a more realistic sense of emotion, a true sense of contempt. All you need in wrestling is hate-- if you can effectively create hate, then you have that added heat, that added emotional context. As for comedy, I agree that the large majority of the Car Crash TV Era stuff is dogshit-awful, but we just talked about how even Vince disliked the "This Is Your Life" segment, regardless that it was the absolute peak in ratings for the company. It's all about subtlety, of course. I don't think that I need to expand on why acknowledging what people think of Triple H has generally worked and how Vince Russo running around talking out of ass didn't. How a segment on an episode of Heat in 2000 that had Foley (when he was the onscreen authority figure) and Edge helping Christian make weight to challenge for the LHW title by having him run around the arena in a chicken suit in a silly, ultimately meaningless bit worked and how John Cena's Photoshop Tutorial in the middle of a feud against a psychopathic cult leader didn't. They were important aspects, and saying that what wrestling NEEDS to do to hit another boom period is to completely dump them is ridiculous.

So, don't do two of the things that were hugely significant parts of the last "boom"? Because for better or worse, they were.

I loved the Mamaluke-Rave feud that spread from Wildside to CZW when it happened live.

They first had the Impact deal with FSN, yeah. Of course, they had the really easy out of specifying that the division wasn't about weight, it was about style, so they could just throw indie guys of any weight together, most obviously Joe. There's at least a few matches, sticking out in front because I just watched it a few days ago like Rey-Super Calo at FB '96, where Dusty seems completely fascinated by what makes high-flying lucha different from technical lucha or puro or the classic American LHW style or "the hybrid style, if you weel" and bugs Mike about all of these specific details, which is actually kind of awesome. I also watched Pantera-TAKA from No Way Out '98 a few days ago, with DOUBLE LAWLER commentary because Brian and Taka were feuding at the time and wanted to blow my brains out.

It'd have to be a division of guys all 200 or under, focusing on the under. Something that was outwardly distinct. I really don't want to directly compare MMA and wrestling, but I'm pretty sure that Georges St-Pierre and B.J. Penn and Matt Hughes and Anderson Silva and I could go on... were popular fighters. That's without even dipping into the lightest divisions. There's no real reason that you can't do a division that's based on guys around 165-180 aside from some garbage reason that amounts to "Listen, we only keep lighter guys around so we can get Big Show or Kane back over as heels by having them do a run-in and chokeslam them in the middle of their matches.".

The problem with starting a full-fledged cruiser division is that the guys at the top of the card have downsized so much. The most recent world champ is billed at 210. Last year's MITB card had, by my count, eight guys in title or briefcase matches who could qualify at 225 or under.

They've almost always given Bryan a lot of material. I mean, he went from fired/"fired" to carrying Team WWE in the SummerSlam match against the Nexus his first night back. It just always feels like that it's about to slip away at any given moment, but you can say that about almost anyone on the roster who's being recognized for having gotten over. That's where it feels like Vince and his toadies are the ones dropping the ball.

"Synthetic" marijuana is basically bath salts. It's a legitimate reason to keep someone off of the active roster.

That'll probably be KENTA. After an NXT stint. It'll go great.

Plus, speaking of Quack and RY, they did go on to found the most successful "family-friendly" promotion of this era. Quack might have gone full carny over the last year, but I can buy it.

He's a big Eastern European dude who can move well. Obviously after he loses, he turns face and develops a EuroTrash club hopper gimmick, complete with gigantic Alex Wright dance moves. This is Vinceworld, after all.

They don't need an official third member, just a group of guys that The Shield would acknowledge as official allies (meaning NOT JUST CENA), because they know that this is a war bigger than them. As we saw on Raw, it's not like the Ambrose/Reigns friendship suddenly breaks down just because they're teaming with a new guy. Play off of the "YOU'VE ALIENATED THE ENTIRE LOCKER ROOM!" line... the person who alienated the locker room, as part of his "master plan", was Rollins, and it's going to come back to haunt him. Again, the Authority storyline was always at its best when it was the mass of the roster against them. The faces hate a rat like Rollins and what he represents, too.

It's so hilariously backwards that apparently neither Ambrose or Reigns (you have to figure that spot #7 goes to Rollins... right? Can we trust them to do that, at least? Or do they think that putting him in that environment so soon after the turn will re-endear him to the fans?) will be in the ladder match but ADR will.

But it could be HHH giving Rollins what would be almost the ultimate rub in his eyes-- Rollins becoming the new "Cerebral Assassin". Again, I think that they're leaving it as a backup plan if the program starts to go south and they can change it from just a Rollins turn to The Shield's absolute destruction of Evolution (maybe Trips would want to take another break from being on TV?), not that it is THE plan.

I can't help but wonder if the vagueness on the part of Rollins is really just to plant the idea, at least, that he's doing the double agent move. I think that they're really going to try to cover their bases post-Royal Rumble if they make a decision that could go pear-shaped and fail so that they have an out and can course-correct. That made it even better, even if it was 100% unintentional, because him bending to get it was like "Oh, Roman, sorry dude". He didn't want his best friend to have to do anything to make up for a mistake of his own. Ambrose has defined his character so well; the thing that makes him crazy isn't that he's this mumbly, wild-eyed brawler; it's his sincere loyalty and dedication to the idea of The Shield itself. I'm just friggin' swooning here.