Episode #1
April 4, 1991
Knoxville Civic Auditorium Studio (Holds about 500)
WBIR-TV (channel 10)
Opening: Some techno music is playing with a background picture of the mountains while some videos of wrestlers in action are cutting into the frame. We see a top rope knee drop from Rip Rogers, a back body drop by Bob Armstrong, Dirty Dutch Mantel using Shoo Baby on some poor jobber, Steve Keirn laying in some big right hands on The Grappler, Tim Horner rolling someone up for the pin, followed up by Stunning Steve Austin connecting with the Stun Gun and the last picture showed a 6-man tag team match that has gone completely out of control!
The screen opens to Les Thatcher standing with Dutch Mantel. Thatcher is in a very colorful Hawaiian shirt while Dutch is in a black cowboy hat, sunglasses, a colorful poncho and has Ol Betsy wrapped up under his arm.
Les: Welcome wrestling fans, from the Knoxville Civic Auditorium Studio, welcome to the return of Smoky Mountain Wrestling. I guarantee you this will be an action-packed hour of professional wrestling, the way wrestling used to be and just the way to like. I’m Les Thatcher and on this week’s show you’re going to be seeing “White Lightening” Tim Horner. Jeff Jarrett will be here as will be “Stunning” Steve Austin. The mysterious Killer Kyle will be in action as will be Irwin R. Schyster. We will also be talking to a pretty infamous man in Knoxville wrestling history who has signed on to be a manager here in Smoky Mountain Wrestling… the original bad boy in Knoxville, Ron Wright. We will also be talking to Smoky Mountain Wrestling Commissioner Bob Armstrong! All of that plus our big main event… one half of the Wild-eyed Southern Boys, Steve Armstrong vs “The Big Russian Bear” Ivan Koloff! And to help me call all the action, here’s none other than “Dirty” Dutch Mantell.
The crowd starts with a loud chorus of boos!
Dutch: Now hold on just a minute… (the boos get louder) I mean have you ever … people you are in the presence of wrestling greatness and this is how you act? … whatever… I’m not here for you people. I’m here to see Ivan Koloff lock horns with Steve Armstrong! I’m also interested in this guy they call “Stunning” Steve Austin. I’ve heard such great things about him and today I’m going to get my first look at him. I hope he can live up to the hype.
Les: Fans, it’s going to be a great hour so stay with us. We’re about ready for action so let’s go to the ring.
Match #1: Killer Kyle vs “White Lightening” Tim Horner
Killer Kyle comes to the ring wearing a suit, tie and large black hat. He is carrying a mysterious black case. He is announced as “weighing in at 280 pounds and hailing from Hell’s Kitchen, NY. His slow walk and shady appearance has people wondering what he’s all about. Bob Caudle doesn’t help with the mystery as he says he has heard that Killer Kyle has been rumored to be a member of one of those large organized crime families up there in NY but he has not been able to confirm this.
Tim Horner comes jogging out, high-fiving all the fans on his way to the ring while George Jones, “White Lightening” plays in the background. As for the match, the first thing you notice is that Killer Kyle is a pretty good combination of speed and power as he hits the ropes well and nails Horner with a couple of big shoulder blocks. Horner, hops up quickly each time and hits a few hip tosses as effective counters but Killer Kyle is just too big and takes control of the match. Bodyslams, bodyblocks, and big forearms by Kyle have Horner in trouble. Horner, being a good babyface is bumping and selling all over the place until the finish…. Killer Kyle whips Horner hard to the corner and rushes in behind for a big squash but Horner jumps up and Kyle hits the ring post. Horner uses the middle rope to help him with a sunset flip and rolls up Killer Kyle for the first win in Smoky Mountain Wrestling history!
Commercial Break
“Fans if you’d like to raise money for your school, club or civic organization and you’d like to see all the excitement Smoky Mountain Wrestling provides, then this message is for you. Bring the stars of Smoky Mountain Wrestling to your town simply by calling (703) 989-6819 or send your letters to P.O. Box 1279, Morristown, Tennessee. Wrestling the way it used to be and wrestling the way you like it! BE THERE!!
Promo by Steve Armstrong on his main event match with Ivan Koloff
“Ivan Koloff… The Russian Bear… we have a few battles all over this country and I can’t wait for tonight. I’m honored to be in the first main event in Smoky Mountain history and I don’t care how rough and tough you are. I’m ready to fight fire with fire. I’m ready to take everything you got and then some as I plan on coming out on top and giving these fans what they deserve and that’s see you, the Russian Bear, go down in defeat.”
Next, we see Les Thatcher talk about his recent interview with Bob Armstrong by hyping up what a great commissioner he is going to be while Dirty Dutch looks at Thatcher like he is out of his mind.
VTR Interview:
Thatcher: And here is wrestling legend, “Bullet” Bob Armstrong, the new commissioner of Smoky Mountain Wrestling. Bob, what can we expect from you as commissioner.”
Bob Armstrong: Well Bob, I’ve had over 30 years of experience and I’ve had every trick in the book played on me and I believe that I have met each of those situations in an honorable way… in a way that myself and my family could be proud of. I will admit that our sport seems to have fallen off the rails in the last few years and as commissioner, it is my job to get it back on the right track. So Smoky Mountain Wrestling will be wrestling the way it used to be and the way we like it to be. I will make it affordable for the entire family to enjoy. We want to grow this thing from the ground up and that starts with the fans. This is the oldest sport known to man and it is going to be treated as a sport. Fines, heavy in nature, will be levied for any infractions of the rules. If you toss your opponent over the top rope, you will be disqualified. This is wrestling and should be competed in the ring! There will be no foreign objects… you will not touch a referee. We want this to be a community project. If you, the fans want something, send us your cards and letters. Smoky Mountain Wrestling will be the best wrestling program the people of this area have ever seen.
Match # 2: “Gentlemen” Ken Timbs vs “Double J” Jeff Jarrett
Timbs comes strutting to the ring first. His attire is rather strange as he has a ruffled, fancy white shirt with a gold a black blazer over it while wearing tie-dye spandex pants. He is making his way to the ring waving an elegant cane in the air. Timbs grabs the microphone, “I just want to let all you good people know that I am here as an ambassador of good will…and please understand that what I am telling you is only meant to help you. Look at me …. Gentlemen Ken Timbs and unlike all of you, I come from a good upbringing. I am educated… I am wealthy … I am clean… I understand you people can’t help it… trailer park living and all …but …. at least speak English and not Hillbilly! I mean is there any difference between a diploma from the University of Tennessee right here in Knoxville and a roll of toilet paper… well other than the cost …. not really.
Upset, the ring announcer rips back the house microphone and announces, “right here from the great state of Tennessee, Double J, Jeff Jarrett rushes to the ring with the entrance song “Rocky Top” playing in the background. He is fuming at Ken Timbs and gets right in his face. The ref separates them and calls for the bell. Timbs, with a knee to the gut, takes the early advantage but Jarrett makes the comeback and he is on fire getting the win with a top rope missile drop kick!
Commercial Break
Match #3: Stunning Steve Austin vs “Bad Boy” Billy Black
Billy Black does a good job of getting some heat as he comes out wearing a black jacket over a black singlet with a black hat antagonizing the fans every step of the way. This was made to help get Stunning Steve over to this new audience. Stunning Steve, running out to “Born to be Wild, hops up on the apron, right to the top rope and leaps off. He is fired up and ready to go but makes the mistake of turning his back on Billie Black who attacks before the bell. This early questionable tactic plays into the idea to get Austin over and the fans completely buy into his comeback. The end comes rather quickly with the Stun Gun on Black!
During the match, Dutch Mantel makes sure the fans know that he wasn’t really impressed with Austin and points out that Austin is lucky that it was Billie Black in there and not him as he never would have given the momentum back after the awful start by Austin. Thatcher reminds Dirty Dutch that it was Billie Black that attacked before the bell and Dutch is quick to point out that it was Austin who was unprepared and allowed it to happen.
Next, we go to a VTR of one of the managers in Smoky Mountain Wrestling, Ron Wright. Ron Wright doesn’t appear as violent as some of the old-time wrestling fans in Knoxville remember him to be as he is in a wheelchair and appears pretty old.
“It certainly is nice to be here in Smoky Mountain Wrestling as things have not been going so well for me of late. As you know, I’ve gone out of my way for decades in the wrestling business to stop all those non-Christian wrestlers who did their best to hurt the sport of professional rassling. Now I’m stuck in this wheelchair until I get a hip implant and a knee implant but the only problem is I can’t afford it right now. Well, I’ve come down here today as a manager and I’m a scouting all these great Smoky Mountain raslers hoping to sign one or two so I can make some money and get back on my feet. I know, with all my expertise, I can help these great fellas get over the top … but again … I want only good Christian wrestlers.
Before we go to break, Dirty Dutch puts over the idea the Ron Wright is such a high quality human being … the kind they don’t make anymore!
Les Thatcher isn’t buying any of it.
Commercial Break
Match #4: “Irwin R. Schyster vs Joey Maggs
IRS comes to the ring wearing a white shirt, red tie, red suspenders and dress pants. He rips the mic from the ring announcer and rips into the fans. “I have never been to such a dismal place in all my life. The poverty here is just sickening and all I hear around here is the government has to do something with it. Well, guess what people… your situation is all your fault. If you people would stop making your moonshine it would do two things. First of all, you people would stop showing up to work drunk and getting fired and also, you people would stop cheating on your taxes as your money would be earned in a legit way. I’m Irwin R. Schyster, I.R.S for short, and I am going to collect on your debts one wrestler at a time. The pain Joey Maggs is about to feel is your fault. Time to pay the taxman!! I.R.S beats Joey Maggs from pillar to post. He hits him with elbow drops, right hands, kicks, leg drops and most of all… straight right hands. The end mercifully comes with the Samoan Drop. Bob Caudle really is disgusted by I.R.S while Dutch wonders why we haven’t had someone like I.R.S. here a long time ago to stop all the Knoxville degenerates from cheating their way through life!
Next, Les Thatcher interviews Stunning Steve Austin…
Les: Steve…. Welcome to Smoky Mountain Wrestling.
Steve Austin: Thanks Bob… I just want to say thanks to all these fans for welcoming me in tonight. I also want to let everyone know that in just a few weeks, there’s going to be a tournament to crown the first ever Smoky Mountain Champion and I would love your support as I would love to wear the gold!
Suddenly Dirty Dutch comes on the screen and interrupts the interview…
Dutch: Excuse just one minute. I know it’s not my time but I just want to give you some helpful advice as you go for that title you talked about. First of all, you made some pretty big mistakes tonight against Billie Black. I mean you let him get that jump on ya and then he nailed you with a pretty big clothesline. That would never have happened to me. I make sure I’m prepared for everything. Again, just a little friendly advice… you were not prepared tonight. Then we you luckily got the advantage back… you still used that armbar incorrectly. Come to think of it… I would have done everything different then you did. I mean I understand your still young but if you don’t want to flounder around the bottom here in Smoky Mountain, I think you better listen to me.
Steve: You’re right Dutch... you would have wrestled that match completely differently…. You would have lost! Now I heard you were pretty good in your day but this is my time and you’re not ready for Stunning Steve Austin.
As Steve walks off, Dutch says to Les, “that just goes to show you, today’s youngsters can’t take constructive criticism.
Commercial Break
Main Event: “The Russian Bear” Ivan Koloff vs “Wild-eyed Southern Boy” Steve Armstrong
With the Russian Bear already waiting in the ring, “The South’s Gonna to It Again” starts to blare from the speakers as Steve Armstrong comes jogging out in his grey Confederate hat and jacket, wearing grey tights and carrying the Confederate flag, giving some love to all the fans. The match starts out with a little chain wrestling in-screen picture in picture pops up of Ivan Koloff…
Ivan Koloff: Ivan Koloff is very happy to be here in Smoky Mountain Wrestling. Unfortunately, Steve Arnstrong… you are not going to be happy today. You made the mistake of getting in the ring with The Russian Bear. Today… I’m going to embarrass you… humiliate you… show you how inferior American wrestlers are to Russian wrestlers. I will make you suffer today!
As the match continues, we see a few momentum changes but Dutch Mantel can’t seem to focus on anything except the “brazen” Steve Austin. Dutch lets everyone know that he is going to wrestle next week on Smoky Mountain Wrestling and he hopes Steve Austin is watching so he sees what a real wrestler looks like. Thatcher seems to try to refocus Dutch as he brings up the fact the Ivan Koloff is a former WWF champion as he beat the legendary Bruno Sammartino. Thatcher also lets us know that Ivan has come to Tennessee with his cousin Boris Zhukov who is a multiple time champion in his own right.
Next, we see “the original bad boy” Ron Wright roll out to ringside and Dutch now seems happy as Mr. Wright is certain to bring some class to the show. Dutch reminds us all of Ron Wright’s current health and money situation and how he hopes Mr. Wright finds what he is looking for to help out during his hard times. Dutch reminds us all that he, just like Ron, are both sympathetic by nature and hope the other people here in Knoxville lend a helping hand to Ron to help with his surgeries.
As the action spilled outside, we find out that this is where Koloff excels. He shoves Armstrong into the ring post and then nails him with a chair! When the action heads back onto the ring. Steve once again regains the momentum and hits the Russian Bear with a few big forearm smashes. Koloff is left draped over the bottom rope as the ref pushes the Southern Boy back.
We now see Ron Wright roll over to Koloff and shake his hand!
WHAM… Koloff catches Armstrong with a big right hand and Keirn is down and out!!!
1…2…3!
Here comes Tracy Smothers, the other Wild-eyed Southern Boy, rushing into the ring and is claiming that Ron Wright gave Koloff some sort of foreign object! The ref believes Tracy and reverses the decision. Koloff, Ron Wright and even Dirty Dutch are fuming at Smothers’ dishonesty.
Koloff comes towards Smothers but Smothers attacks first and he has Ivan reeling. Suddenly another wrestler in a red singlet with the hammer and sickle engraved across it rushes in and attacks Tracy Smothers … Les Thatcher informs us “that’s Boris Zhukov.”
The situation turns scary as Ivan and Boris hang Tracy Smothers over the top rope with that big Russian chain. They appear to be trying to strangle him!
Rushing over to is Steve Armstrong. He is like a wild animal seeing what the Russians are doing to his tag team partner. Armstrong single-handedly clears the ring as Jeff Jarrett and Steve Austin rush down for extra help as the Russians hightail it to the back.
The fans are eating all of this up!
The show ends with Commissioner Bob Armstrong coming out with rules in hand. He fines Ivan Koloff $500 for using a foreign object and also announces that next week it will be the Ivan Koloff and Boris Zhukov vs The Wild-eyed Southern Boys in the main event!
Les Thatcher: Thanks for joining us tonight on Smoky Mountain Wrestling. Wrestling the way it used to be and wrestling the way you like it. Make sure you join us next week right here on this station. So long from Knoxville.
