KB8

Lawler and Heyman are two guys who can spit vitriol at someone so naturally this was full of venom, and believably so at that. Heyman's neighborhood watch comment almost went over my head at first but then I twigged and made that Andy Dwyer face from those Parks and Recreation memes you see on twitter and shit.

Austin's obsession with Bret has him acting like an even bigger lunatic than usual, which of course rules. I kind of like how they're positioning Sid as more of a tweener in that he clearly wants no help from Austin because he's motherfucking Sid and doesn't NEED help from anyone. Gorilla's sly dig at WCW by promising to deliver on a match as advertised was pretty amusing.

This was pretty fun, but largely messy and not always in the good way. At times it came off chaotic, but then at others you could see they were struggling a little to adjust and they'd sort of get in each others' way. Aside from a couple ropey moments where he either no-sold something or ran into the timekeeper's table, Vader was really good. He seemed super motivated and game to try a bunch of interesting things, which is more than you could say for Bret. I agree that this felt more like an extended finishing run of a royal rumble than a great match, but I'd still probably take this over the majority of later fatal four ways and their micromanaged nature. Vader's bloody eye definitely added to this and actually made it feel a bit like the war JR was trying to sell it as on commentary.

Michiko Ohmukai v Rie Tamada (ARSION, 5/5/98) This had a few cool moments, a few weird moments, a few rubbish moments. It wasn't the best. Ohmukai starting out by using a handshake to yank Tamada into a tiger suplex was great, but then they went and did a bunch of suplex-trading and no-selling and nobody has time for that shit. Ohmukai has some killer strikes but hardly any of them looked good here. Her kicks were all over the place, the ones that connected often looking light, the ones that missed looking like that was always the plan anyway. She did throw one punch to the jaw that kind of ruled, though. Tamada was just as sloppy and some of the miscues between them were glaring, resulting in awkward fumbling with neither seeming to know who was supposed to be hitting a move and who was supposed to be taking it or moving out the way or what. When she's on her game Ohmukai can be a pretty great Battlartsy shitkicker, but this was not that. I don't know what this was. Mariko Yoshida v Mikiko Futagami (ARSION, 5/5/98) What a cracking little bout. Where the last match started with a minute of ropey fighting spirit guff, this started with a minute of sprawling and scrambling for limbs that ended in a stalemate. Yoshida was an absolute marvel in this. She mostly works dominant and it's because she's such a dynamo on the mat. Futagami is the more accomplished striker, but most of her big hits land almost surprisingly. She has to get tricky with them because Yoshida seems to have them largely scouted, and once or twice, probably out of frustration, she throws a couple that could be considered cheapshots. Early on they engaged in a knuckle lock and Futagami started throwing kicks, thinking she'd keep hold of Yoshida's hands so she wouldn't be able to block. Except Yoshida used her arm and managed to corral a body kick anyway, which she then turned into a rolling kneebar. On the couple rare occasions it looks like Futagami might have Yoshida in a dangerous spot, Yoshida will spring a counter and apply an ankle lock with her own feet or a kimura to escape a choke (and I love that she coughed and spluttered a bit afterwards to sell it). I'm not sure what prompted it specifically, but at some point Yoshida started selling her taped up wrist and it gave Futagami something to target in times of need. Some of her hits started landing a little more flush as well and they had me convinced she was winning after the brutal koppo kick. But really, Yoshida did about five things on the mat that I don't think I've seen before. There was one point where Futagami tried to pull some Manami Toyota neck bridging out of a pin shenanigans so Yoshida grabbed a choke with her legs. A couple beats later Yohida hit a folding powerbomb, and as Futagami kicked out Yoshida instantly transitioned into an ankle lock. The way she wound up with a gogoplata out of a gutbuster at the end was absurd. ARSION had such a cool house style and this was a superb ten minutes of it.

I'd say this is definitely a great match when taken in its entirety. Those first six-seven minutes give you a better idea of how the leg work materialised and ultimately why Yamazaki switching to the arm made sense. Sleeze touched on it as well but those first couple minutes have some really cool setups that they pay off later -- the overhand that floors Yamazaki straight away and the attempted German they go back to around midway. Obviously the leg work makes sense initially because why wouldn't you want to neutralise the kicks? For a while it works too, and it feels like Hashimoto's having to react to what Yamazaki's doing as opposed to forcing the issue himself. Hashimoto's the champ, but Yamazaki's implementing a strategy and Hash can't settle into any rhythm. I agree that the kneebar isn't the most compelling, but I appreciate that it at least makes sense to work it and doesn't come across as a time-killer, plus using thr armbar attempts to transition back to it was really cool. Knowing the history between them adds to this as well. In '96 they matched up a few times and in the June tag title match Yamazaki picked up a rib injury that he sold for the remainder of the year. It'd even play a part in matches outside of New Japan because it became a theme in a WAR v UWFi tag taking place in WAR. Of course the injury was sustained in the first place because Hashimoto tried to punt his liver into the stands. So Hash just front kicking him in the guts repeatedly here was an amazing "fuck this" transition. I think they played it up enough with a few more kicks to the midsection later that it was a deliberate part of the story as well. Everything from then on out was exceptional, I thought. We already saw how effective Hashimoto's overhands were earlier, and clearly going after the leg wasn't working terribly well, so it made sense for Yamazaki to switch it up and go after the arm. It's easy to compare Hashimoto and the overhands here to Misawa and the elbow considering I watched the 1/20 Misawa/Kobashi last week, but I think the comparison fits well enough. I mean, the selling from both is incredible, though still different. Hash is more expressive whereas Misawa is stoic and determined, but the overall point is much the same -- the opponent is trying to take away the arm and a huge weapon into the bargain, but as long as that arm is still attached to their body they're going to keep using it, even if it causes themselves damage at the same time. Yamazaki's targeting of it ruled. The armbars where he'd switch between arms, the kicks to the arm, headbutting the shoulder, punching the bicep to break the brainbuster; all of it ranged from cool to awesome. Hashimoto responding with his own brutal headbutts was amazing, and of course the moment where he lost it and reeled off those overhands, dropping to a knee in agony afterwards, was absolutely spectacular. The mother of all brainbusters to end it was some exclamation point. I thought this was tremendous. It might not be there by the end, but to me it feels like a dark horse top 10 match of the year. What a show New Japan put on that night, btw. Between this and Liger/Kanemoto they'd have won my ticket money for months to come.

Well, I liked this way more than the Ohtani match. One of the very first comps I ever bought had the clipped up version of this on it and I remembered reading about it on the old DVDVRs. It sounded spectacular and was a bit of a dream match for me. Kanemoto was one of the first guys from Japan I became a fan of and Liger was maybe the very first, being familiar with him as I was from the WCW appearances and some old magazines. So naturally the eight or nine minutes I saw of it blew me away. I watched it again about ten years ago, probably the same JIP version, and still loved it. The full version isn't exactly a holy grail for me at this point and I never figured one would ever be made available anyway, but I guess New Japan decided to throw us Kanemoto fans a bone and drop the unedited version way back when. And hey, the full version was great! And those missing minutes added rather than detracted from the match! It's not a perfect match by any stretch and there are some iffy parts. A few bombs could've been sold better, they could've made a little more of one or two elements, maybe the brief limb work could've had more of a payoff, that sort of thing. I think this being about eight minutes shorter than the Ohtani match kept me a little more engaged as well, and in general I thought they used their time better (though I understand that Ohtani and Liger probably needed longer to tell their story). This had some matwork in the first half, some targeting of Liger's knee and arm, but it was mostly Kanemoto kicking the shit out of Liger. Kanemoto never exactly worked over the knee and/or arm, he just briefly went to the kneebar or armbar in between those longer bouts of striking. Liger acknowledged that the arm was giving him some grief, but it wasn't the central focus of the first half and it was all the other grief Kanemoto was giving him that had him sweating. It's sort of amazing how a guy in a full bodysuit and ridiculous mask can be so expressive, but Liger is awesome at conveying the story through body language and his body language said "what the fuck am I even doing here?" He'd been put through the ringer a week earlier and straight from the bell he's being booted out of his costume. Isn't The Ace supposed to be given a break once in a while? Why be The Man if you can't flex some political muscle now and then? The first half is like 90% Kanemoto and even the moment where he basically no-sells a powerbomb didn't annoy me because it was the first bit of real offence Liger had mustered (and also it wasn't done on the floor). Plus for any questionable moment like that you get two or three awesome ones in return, like Kanemoto flipping Liger the bird mid-Figure Four or chucking him around by the horn on his mask. Or generally being a wee prick and punting him in the spine and such. I thought the transition into Liger's comeback was a much better bridge than what we got in the Ohtani match. Kanemoto comes off the top with a moonsault, Liger moves but Kanemoto lands on his feet, then Liger absolutely drills his nasal bone through his brain with the meanest shotei ever. This was just hideous and again it establishes the shotei as Liger's most reliable and lethal weapon. Liger is really awesome from here on out reasserting himself and repaying Kanemoto for all that horseshit earlier. The big spot on the floor here felt a hundred times bigger than the powerbomb in the Ohtani match as well, largely because Kanemoto milked the count out and only got back in the ring at 19 (and the concrete brainbuster itself looked wild to boot). Liger briefly going after Kanemoto's knee during the stretch run felt a touch out of place initially, but it had a payoff later as Kanemoto builds up another head of steam before missing a moonsault, and ends up being unable to quickly follow up because he dings the knee on landing. Liger using the shotei to set up the avalanche brainbuster was a great finish as well and there's that trusty palm strike getting him out of bother again. I doubt this is even top 10 for the year, but it's a match I've always had a soft spot for, have fond memories of even reading about, and the full version totally delivered everything my teenage self could've wanted.

Yeah, this looks a bit like the WCW/nWo Revenge game from a year or so after this.

Fun five minutes as Lawler and Dundee teaming together will never be old. Some Dundee on Dundee violence will also never be old and Bill pops Jamie with a corker of a right hand. I may not have been the smartest kid in the world at ten years old, but if I could visit that kid right now I'd tell him he was on the money for choosing Sunny as a first true love.

This was another peach of a promo, though nowhere near as emotional as the one a couple weeks back. This time he tells the story of some old rodeo man and a bull called Tornado. It sounds like something you'd hear in a Chris LeDoux song, told like your granddaddy would as you sit by the fire. He's the old rodeo man in ECW now and the world title is his Tornado. How in the fuck can you not love this man? He honest to god comes across as the most likeable man in all of wrestling, which is an incredible sort of ironic given the promotion he's in and where the wrestling business was headed at the time.

Not the best looking match and a surprisingly un-Austin-like response to Bret jumping him mid-match. I wonder when they pulled the trigger on going with Bret and Austin at Wrestlemania. Seemed pretty clear the initial plan was Bret/Michaels, but obviously Shawn and his smile threw a spanner in those works.

I know it's hard to judge this as a regular interview or promo because it's not supposed to actually be that (and as Childs mentions it's impossible to view this out of context), but considering how full of shit he was you could probably say it was a decent promo. I mean, he had a few folk in tears there so he sure worked the hell out of them. Most people seemed to see through his shit from the start, though. It's not a perfect analogy by any stretch, not least because wrestling as a carny business is way more open with fans now, but if you're looking at a modern babyface who's routinely booed by pockets of the audience, there's almost no chance Cena does something like this and is met with "WE WANT [equivalent of Sid]" chants.

Yeah, fascinating look at two guys who'd be in very different positions a year, two years and especially three years from now. I wonder who looked at Rocky and listened to post-match promo and thought, "yep, I can absolutely see that guy being one of the biggest stars in the history of the business some day."

Again, I love crazy rambling Roddy Piper to death so I'll probably like just about anything he does with a mic, but this was fairly on track and I thought it ruled. Hogan accusing him of doctoring the Starrcade footage to look like a Piper win is absurdly awesome and his character right now is near-perfect, right down to the facial expressions and timing of such. The way he shifts from acting like a goofy shithead to being real serious real quick as Piper calls him a bald-headed geek was amazing. Great segment. I have no recollection of the Superbrawl match so for all I know it's a pile of dogshit, but I'll be damned if they haven't got me a little stoked for it.

Bischoff is really something else as detestable asshole right now. "Tell your daddy...he's STILL fired" is the obvious highlight, but Nash and Hall laughing like goobers beside him really add to the feel of Anderson being bullied for no good reason.

They really have done wonders with this Page push over the last three months or so. This was another one of those segments that could've come off as some hokey edgelord bulljive but wound up being great. Page standing up for himself even if he ends up getting stomped only endeared himself more to the fans and pretty much anything involving Sting at this point will be red hot.

I flip flop on this more than probably any match I've ever seen. Loved it first time, didn't really like it second time, thought it was great last time, didn't really care this time. It's not even that I think it's bad because I wouldn't say that at all. I was just wholly apathetic towards it. The standard criticism of juniors matches is that the early part of most matches ends up being perfunctory because it's filled with time-killing matwork or whatever, then they'll flip the switch when they get to that point in the match where TV will pick it up. I don't even like using that as a stick with which to beat these matches now because it's certainly not something you only see the New Japan juniors do. Like, is seven minutes of matwork any less connected from the rest of the match than Ricky Steamboat using armdrags and armbars before the heel takes over? Because how often does the arm actually play into the rest of those Steamboat matches? Do the juniors matches take more of a whipping because a lot of what they're doing feels like they're going through the motions before they hit the TV part? Does it feel directionless, while Steamboat working an arm at least feels like a strategy? Who knows, but it's almost so ingrained as a criticism against 90s New Japan juniors now that I'm wondering if the pendulum hasn't swung too far. So naturally that was one of my biggest issues with this. The first half had lots of gritty matwork and some real niggliness and they use that to further the already-established story going in -- the story of Ohtani finally beating the big dog and proving he's one of the top guys. There was some ropey stuff like Liger trying to work Ohtani's leg and Ohtani just not bothering to acknowledge it, but Ohtani mostly worked on top by going after the arm and I liked the parts where he'd get super belligerent and uncooperative and refuse to let Liger take over. This was his night and he could be as rough as anyone, so of course it was great when he'd just slap Liger in the face as a cut-off. Ohtani's matwork looked mean and the stuff with the arm was mostly quite nasty, like when he'd just dig a knee into Liger's ankle joint before going back to the arm and do the same to the elbow joint. Liger sold it fine as well and I liked the selling where he'd really stretch it out and shake it around whilst applying his own hold to Ohtani. I see the similarities to Misawa/Kobashi from the previous month, especially with Ohtani trying to take out Liger's arm, and by extension the shotei (analogous to Misawa's elbows). And again there's also the story of Ohtani (Kobashi) trying to step level with The Man (Misawa). So the first half was fine and probably even good but...I just wasn't bothered. No real interest, no real investment. Then they went into the second half finishing run, but I either didn't think there was much of a bridge between the two halves or the bridge they did use fell flat. I'm not really sure. I just sort of thought, "okay, I guess we're past the matwork and now it's time for the drama." It was more jarring a shift than usual. Liger pretty much gave up with the arm selling and we got a whole bunch of hokey Ohtani facial expressions. There was one spot as well where Liger powerbombed him on the floor that initially I really liked, almost as a fuck you to Ohtani yanking at his limbs for a while there, but then about ten seconds later Ohtani was hitting his own powerbomb on the floor as if it wasn't even a thing. Like, your random NXT Takeover show will run spots like that and they'll feel way more consequential. Maybe Velveteen Dream is better than Jushin Liger (this is a joke, obviously (is it though?!))? Finishing stretch itself had lots of cool stuff and built drama well, and is probably about as "deep" in terms of playing off previous matches as you'll get with the juniors. Maybe those callbacks and bits of learned psychology add to the All Japan comparisons. They play off the finish to their 3/96 match, play off big spots from Ohtani's past failures against Ultimo Dragon, really drive the point home that Ohtani has grown and learned from those experiences and is better equipped now to survive the same adversities. Liger's palm strikes being his great equaliser is also very cool and I guess some more shades of All Japan/Misawa if you want to look at it like that. Ohtani being belligerent and defiant to the end is a nice finish too. Don't be dick-swinging like a big shot and expect Liger not to cave your face in. I guess objectively this was good and it had lots of cool intricacies and subtleties, but it's whatever. I'll probably love it when I rewatch it in 2024.

Cool look at two of the WWE's longest-serving talents having what I'd imagine was one of their very earliest matches together. It's more of a segment than an actual match, but the whole setting, Helmsley with the limousine and Undertaker having to walk through the crowd to get to him was pretty neat. The tombstone on the escalator indeed ruled and I'm also a bit surprised they haven't made a bigger deal of this in WWE lore over the years.

I have no clue who the Spellbinder is but he's absolutely juiced to the moon with a thick, high-pitched New York accent. Good luck to anybody other than Lance trying to narrate this whole segment. The man really was a treasure. Even when the candles are lit the flames are flimsy wee things and both Spellbinder and Brian are coated in so much baby oil that a flamethrower would struggle to permeate it. Actually, maybe it's the opposite and the baby oil makes the tiny flame dangerous. Any sort of contact and those guys are going up like a furnace! That fireball shot looked pretty great and Lance shouting "YOU THREW A FIREBALL AT HIM, YA IDIOT!" was amazing. You know somebody fucked up when Lance is calling someone a hoodlum or an idiot or some such. This was total Memphis stupidity so I guess I loved it?

Pillman is an amazing nutjob and naturally when you add that to Lance being Lance you get something hugely fun. I got sort of giddy at the possibility of a Pillman/Lawler interaction, but we didn't really get one.

No idea who Bolton is, so I'm inclined to agree with Samples that he has no business shooting commercials for Memphis restaurants. This was like two minutes and wild as fuck. "WE'RE SHOOTIN' A COMMERCIAL HERE!" Many plates are smashed, tables and chairs broken, patrons hurriedly exiting as they leave dinners uneaten. We all had the Concession Stand Brawl top 15 on the Memphis set so I think it's only fair that this gets six and a quarter stars.

This felt a bit like a fun ten minute greatest hits version of Negro Casas v El Hijo del Santo. They hit the mat a little, brawled a bit, Casas tore at Santo's mask, Santo hit a Santo tope, they communicate the hatred, etc. More of a neat addendum to their eternal rivalry, but it's these two so you can't really go wrong.

Man, this might be the most detestable Hogan has been since the turn, and that covers a fair bit of ground. Bischoff as his obnoxious little sidekick really was perfect here as well, and Piper referring to Hogan as Terry is one of those goofy pro-wrestling things that can easily come off corny, yet by pro-wrestling's standards Piper is a good enough actor to pull it off. Gene as the straight man in the middle was also really good and Piper blowing a gasket felt like a nuclear moment. Heenan shouting "WHIP HIM WITH THE BELT!" was awesome. How much of a prick must you be to force Bobby Heenan to back Roddy Piper? By 1997 this match-up is pretty much washed, and I guess in hindsight you question how smart it is when the WWF are on the other channel setting up a pretty hot long-term group of main eventers, but in the moment this felt like the biggest match in wrestling. I love Piper anyway so I'm cool seeing him show up some more. Maybe a top 5 nWo segment so far.

I could see this being a touch confusing or overly cute if you try to make too much sense of it. Hall and Nash have been so confident that Sting is nWo, so walking away when he shows up sort of contradicts that. Or maybe that's the point? Their confidence is more hubris than anything and all that talk about him being nWo is them keeping up appearances. Maybe they're not nearly as sure as they'd have us think. And then you throw in the ultimate wildcard in Savage and yeah I guess I talked himself into thinking this was actually pretty good. I mean, it's five guys shooting looks at each other and the crowd were eating it all up. If you didn't know already, WCW were on a hell of a hot streak.

This was another fun segment and I thought Shawn's promo was totally fine. Bret might be the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be, but he's not the WWF champion. We're sure getting some edginess to the two top babyfaces as Bret calls him a punk, jackass and degenerate. Neither one of them comes across as being terribly easy to root for or, you know...LIKE. Austin is probably more likeable than both of them and he's a sociopath. Maybe it's because he's an unapologetic one and so you get exactly what you see with him, whereas Bret is pretty sanctimonious and torn-faced about everything and Michaels is sort of obnoxious and not very endearing. Actually Undertaker might be more likeable than all of them and he's a Satan worshipper or something. Bret standing on the belt and flipping off Michaels was kinda awesome, though. Really cool segment. WWF are definitely onto something with what they're doing at the top of the card and things are sure feeling very Attitude-y.

I've always dug this a bunch. Rich is a total scuzzball, spitting at folk, telling some guy in the crowd to come shine his shoes, and he generally looks crazy enough that you buy him following through with his threats of hitting a fan with a chair. Old man Funk being old man Funk will always be fun to me and the stuff build around smacking each other in the leg with a chair was cool. Not a MOTYC or anything, but mighty enjoyable.