KB8

This was a AAA wagers match alright. Tirantes bullshit, each man's second getting involved several times, some dude having his head shaved as the victor's music and pyro blazes in the background. But hey, the Tirantes bullshit wasn't totally over the top, the involvement of each guy's second was fun as fuck, and the music and pyro blazing as the loser has his head shaved actively ruled. So this was an enjoyable hair match between two of the most charismatic old dudes in lucha. MS-1 and Satanico made for an awesome pair of thugs through those first couple caidas. Every single chance he had, Satanico would get involved. He threw pot shots, tripped up Caras when the comeback might've been on, I think at one point he even punched him in the balls. It all got a bit much for Mascara Ano 2000 and he finally jumped Satanico for his nonsense, but all that did was get himself removed from ringside. Satanico going a step too far in the segunda and also getting bounced set up the tercera as a proper showdown. In execution it felt more like the third fall of a title match, but they sold the struggle well and I'll probably never not get into a big Cien Caras deciding fall. Say whatever you want about him as a worker, but that dude has charisma out the wazoo and his death stare at Tirantes was unbelievable.

This struck me as more of a fully-formed title match than Emilio/Azteca, though I'm not really sure how to quantify that. I guess it felt like everything carried more weight, like the impact of what they were doing was greater. Or something or other. It took me a minute to get into the primera but once I did I wasn't looking back. I've never thought of Pierroth as a mat worker. It's not that I'd have called him a bad one, it's just not the first thing that comes to mind if you bring up Pierroth. He was impressive in this, though. The mat work wasn't especially slick and it certainly wasn't tricked out, but it was rough and every time someone grabbed an arm it looked super tight. Mogur's arm wringers were brutal and Pierroth took a handful of bumps straight onto his shoulder. It was a fall that had plenty of time to build and they used that time wisely. The tercera followed suit and they upped the drama appropriately, with Mogur's dive looking sloppy and desperate and that fight over the tapatia being awesome indeed. I also loved Pierroth's low blow in the segunda. A good shot to the balls will go a long way with me and this was subtle enough that you probably missed it in real time, but on replay it was clear as day. I've always loved Pierroth and this was a side of him we didn't get to see too often. The title match, I mean. The low blow was nothing new.

Sort of by the numbers for a title match, but then it's these two in 1990 so by the numbers is still very watchable. I thought Emilio was really fun here as he slowly lost his grip on proceedings. He didn't dominate the first caida as such, but he won it decisively in the end and you could tell he smelled blood by the way he celebrated. Then he let Azteca back into the game in the segunda - or Azteca fought his way back into it - and by the tercera he was beginning to unravel. In the primera he was willing to take a step back and regroup, where losing an exchange wasn't so critical and a mistake unlikely to be the difference between winning and losing. In the tercera, with the match on the knife edge, you could see him getting desperate. For a rudo like Emilio that meant pleading with the ref', adamant that Azteca had fouled him while everyone else in the arena saw it for what it was. A rudo starting out clean and confident before slipping into his true nature over the course of a match is a play we've seen a million times, but it's a timeless sort of theater and Emilio does it as well as anyone. More than a wonderful pro-wrestling, that man was a thespian. For Azteca, most of what he was doing early in the year kind of feels like a warm-up for the Dandy feud. It's not like he's treading water, but if you've seen the Dandy stuff then it's hard not to compare everything else to it. And not a ton compares (of course I'm hyped to check out the June match again for the first time in a decade).

Even the minis got to rule it in 1990. CMLL truly was top banana that year. And this had a bit of everything; neat matwork, fun brawling, quick exchanges, some comedy, and it got plenty of time to boot. Espectrito really feels like one of the most underrated wrestlers ever. He's an incredible rudo base and the pairing with Mascarita Sagrada is an all-time great minis match-up. They had a ton of awesome stuff together here, like Sagrada using Espectrito's back as a launchpad into a tricked out armdrag, about six hundred other armdrag variations, Espectrito military pressing Sagrada and chucking him onto the top turnbuckle, cool rope running sequences where they incorporated one or both of the other rudos, just a highlight reel of awesome moments (even with a couple minor hiccups). They didn't work exclusively with each other either so we got Sagrada turning Piratita Morgan inside out and Espectrito bullying some guy in a Spider-Man getup. La Aranita is the Spider-Man in question and I'm wondering if CMLL didn't cop some shit for that because it's pretty much a carbon copy of the costume. I don't think I've actually seen him before but he was pretty slick and matched up nicely with all three rudos. Pequeno Goliath was responsible for most of the comedy, lots of stooging and miscommunication stuff, bits where he can't move quick enough to keep up with the faster tecnicos, a few comedy bumps and temper tantrums. Of all six he's the one who you probably could've slotted into a WWF minis match most easily (not that I imagine the other five would've found it difficult). Really fun match.

Well this was pretty awesome. I thought it started to lose a wee bit of steam after the lengthy first caida, but it was a great fall and it's not like anything after it was bad. Dandy/MS-1 had a wonderful exchange here and it's another one of those occasions in lucha where you hope for a long lost apuestas match where they're biting chunks out each other's forehead. This was way more mat-based (a title match certainly wouldn't suck), but MS-1 never could help himself even in a gentleman's contest so you knew there was potential for it to spill over. It eventually did, though it was Pierroth who really instigated it when he started punting Mogur in the spine. MS-1 dickishly standing on Popitekus as Ulises covered him at the end of the fall is one of those awesome little moments that separates the good wrestlers from the great ones. Popitekus is a fun fatboy luchador because he could squash just about anybody he lands on, but he's also a lovable big fella and has the haircut his granny gave him so when the rudos put the boots to him it's like a gang of bullies beating up a fat kid. Then when he fights back you know someone's lungs are getting crushed, so really it's the best of both worlds. I thought the tecnico comeback maybe came a bit too easy, although Mogur responding with his own kidney-punting and mask-ripping was a fitting enough way to swing the tide. His selling in the tercera as he stumbled around bleeding was a nice touch as well. Dandy hitting those cool spin kicks isn't something I remembered him doing in 1990, so yeah, that kinda ruled. It's been a while since I've watched most of his run that year but I'll be shocked if I don't still think he was the best wrestler in the world. Even if it was a relatively short peak, that '89-'92 stretch was pretty remarkable.

Emilio Charles Jr. is also the very best. I don't know if he and Angel Azteca had beef coming in but Emilio winning an exchange fair and square leading to Azteca having a vendetta against him for the rest of the match makes me think Emilio may have pissed him off in the recent past. It was sort of an overblown response from a tecnico, but then this is Emilio and I'm sure he did something to deserve it. Thet moment where Azteca, mid-exchange with Espectro, turned to the rudo corner and smashed Emilio with a forearm was indeed great. Anybody else and you'd have said it was uncalled for. Emilio of course got his revenge during the inevitable rudo beatdown and I feel like you could easily slot him into that Arn Anderson category of guys who seamlessly go from stooge to killer in seconds. Super Astro was really fun with all of his bamboozling footwork and his springboards always look gorgeous. The big dive of the match was a tope to a prone Jaque Mate and he landed with all of his stockiness across Mate's upper body. He also had a cool opening exchange with Espectro where Espectro ribbed him for being tiny so Astro stomped on his bare boot. It's always a little surprising that Azteca never wound up being a superstar. He had pretty much everything you'd want in a masked tecnico and yet I don't really remember him doing anything of note after the Dandy feud.

Man, Herodes was the best. Best stooge, best bruiser, best everything. He was past his physical peak by 1990 even though he'd only been wrestling about twenty years, which by lucha standards is no more than the blink of an eye. He'd gained weight and wasn't terribly mobile, but what he'd lost in athleticism he'd gained in pure scuzz. The mask he wore pre-match was a Lidl brand Demolition hood, he was almost entirely bald on the top but still thick on the sides and retained the terrible rat tail, his dodgy Motorhead beard making him look like Brazo de Plata if Brazo de Plata inhaled Triple H. He started this on the apron, more goofy than menacing as he joked around a bit with some folk in the crowd. He was like the daft uncle at Christmas dinner who'd tell the kids that pulling on his ponytail would make him bite their fingers off. It was largely a stooge performance overall, giving up the ghost a couple times and taking a powder mid-exchange, but he got to bowl a few guys over and there was one gorgeous little sequence with Ciclon Ramirez that belied his impending decrepitude (not that it stopped him wrestling another ten years anyway). The first caida was about as basic as you'll get, but it got time to develop and was ultimately satisfying. I'm not familiar at all with Aguila Solitaria and I know I haven't seen much El Supremo. They were fine though, and their exchange to start the match was decent enough. The rudos chasing themselves in circles trying to catch Pantera wasn't quite Fuerza and Panther chasing Rey Jr., but it was a fun little segment that at least had you buying their reasons for snapping. You don't humiliate a man like Herodes and if Supremo and Gladiator are teaming with him you don't humiliate them either. A man's game charges a man's prices. They should've known better.

This also wasn't your granddaddy's apuestas. All four of the hair/mask matches I've watched over the last couple days have been approached in different ways. 2012 CMLL is not 1986 CMLL so this was never going to be Fiera/Babe Face. You were never going to get buckets of blood and guys biting chunks out each other's forehead. It didn't go the Ultimo/Aguila route either and we thank the old gods and the new because, you know, that was fun and all but you want a little more from two of the all-time GOATS. We sure got that and this was everything that was promised. I remember watching the lead-in trios and lightning match at the time and kind of being in awe at how much they were kicking the living shit out of each other. You don't typically associate lucha with stiffness and potato shots, but these two were working stiff as a bastard and being as vicious as possible. The first caida of this was basically the best possible five minute WAR midcard match and it was incredible. Casas headbutts Panther in the cheek three seconds in and it was one of the meanest headbutts I've ever seen. He was throwing kicks to the chest and stomps to the head like Kitahara working over a trainee. Then Panther nailed him with a Tenryu right hand and grabbed a flash Fujiwara armbar that the man himself would've been proud of. It was a wonderful little stretch of violence and suddenly you don't miss the disgusting bloodletting so much after all. Second fall was short as well, but you had Panther working over the shoulder and it was as gritty as you'd want. Casas reversing the surfboard into a stretch muffler is an absurdly great counter in isolation, but what made it even better is that it led to Panther selling the leg, which in turn gave Casas the set up for tying the match (a dropkick to the knee followed by the magistral). In between the segunda and tercera Casas continued to go after the leg and did it in super nasty fashion, like bending it at a hideous angle over a barricade and smashing it into the ramp. Casas' mocking of Panther to start the fall was unbelievable. They're both the same age, but Panther with his balding pate and slightly sagging physique actually looks like a man in his fifties, and that was before he was hobbling around on one leg (this was some phenomenal hobbling, btw). On the other hand, Casas practically looks the same as he did twenty years earlier. Maybe a little more grey on the sides, but to look at him you wouldn't have thought him a man of 52 years. He had two good legs and Panther only had one, so who gives a shit about humility? Then it went on and Casas seemed to come to the realisation that Panther may look like an old man but he sure doesn't fight like one. The tercera really was sensational. If you can't have a gorefest then something like this will do in a pinch because the violence never dropped, there was never a point where it didn't look like a struggle, and the attention to detail was astonishing. Hardly anybody works in and out of holds like this anymore. I'd need to watch it twice just to pick up on all of the amazing little micro details, but they were myriad and even if you're not into lucha I can't imagine you not getting something out of this. I think my favourite part was when Panther was on the apron and Casas grabbed a choke, and Panther lying on the floor afterwards staring at the ceiling was quite the visual. Panther then dragged Casas off the apron into a brutal armbar and followed up with a bullet tope that about put him head-first through the barricade. I guess my one complaint is that the limb damage they established in the first couple falls was dropped a bit suddenly. Panther's selling to start the tercera was tremendous, then not long after that it didn't seem to matter. There wasn't really a bridge between the leg being useless and it no longer being an issue. It doesn't bother me too much because it didn't need to be a bigger part of their story than it was, but you know I'd criticise a Tanahashi or Okada for the same thing. I'd rather a more decisive finish as well, but they sure nailed the one they did go with. As far as bloodless wagers matches go this might be the best there's ever been.

Man, I'd forgotten how cool Aguila's mask was. He basically fell off my radar entirely years ago and I haven't seen him in forever. Didn't even know this was out there or that he'd lost the mask. But really, it's a cracker of a mask. This wasn't your granddaddy's apuestas but I thought it was an enjoyable version of one built mostly around dives rather than piss and blood and guts. All of Aguila's dives looked great, especially the corkscrew Asai moonsault, though I guess you'd have liked for Ultimo to take a lunatic bump into the seats and leave someone wearing their own dinner. The way he used UG's kickout to set up a submission was a really cool finish to the primera as well. Ultimo was a fun bruiser when he was on top, especially in the opening few minutes, then after that he was mostly about the bumping. There was one great moment towards the end where he finally managed to pull the plug on one of Aguila's dives and Aguila took a nutso hotshot bump across the top rope. Third caida had some decent drama, and even if it was mostly my turn-your turn they never dragged it out to eternity by lying around selling everything for six minutes at a time. Perfectly fun mask match and I'd like to check out some of the build up now.

This was even seedier, even nastier, even better. I mean think about that statement. The last match had someone getting attacked with scissors and lynched to a ring post. This didn't have anything quite as brazen, but it was far more primitive. All things considered you can work being stabbed in the head with a sharp object or being strangled pretty safely. It's smoke and mirrors. It's harder to work being drilled in the forehead or orbital bone with the edge of a chair and make it look good without hurting like a bastard. This had lots of edge-of-the-chair hits to the forehead and orbital bone that looked like they hurt like a bastard. It started out with an indie parity stand-off between Goto and Nakano and it might've been the best indie parity stand-off ever just because it's fucking Tarzan Goto doing indie parity stand-offs. Then the hellish beatdown started. They didn't go straight to the chairshots, Goto and Miyake wrestled mostly clean initially, but it was potatoey clean and Motegi was the recipient. He fired back and hit a couple dives to the floor, but he never should've let it go out there because you put Tarzan Goto anywhere near a chair he's hitting you with it. He hit Motegi with several, often with the edge of it, often dead in the forehead, sometimes in the throat. One shot took the padded seat off at the hinges so Goto just smashed him over the spine with the frame. This genuinely had some of the best working the cut stuff I've ever seen. Motegi bleeds a ton and Goto is covered in blood up to the elbow as he throws disgusting little rabbit punches to the cut, bites the forehead, etc. Miyake's decision to wear white pants on the night pays dividends as he drops knees across the forehead leaving blood stains on the material. Nakano comes in off the hot tag, but he has a bandage over his eye so before long Goto and Miyake are punching him in the eyebrow and jabbing him in the face with chair legs. At one point it looked like they were winding up for a double clothesline on Motegi but then they just double punched him in the forehead. If I had one complaint it'd be that there wasn't really much of a babyface comeback, but the match was clipped by a few minutes so I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. What a night of indie sleaze perfection. Imagine this was the kind of thing Meltzer went gaga over? We'd have six hundred Tarzan Goto ripoffs running around with rabies rather than six hundred Tetsuya Naitos.

I wonder where this match-up ranks in the pantheon of prominent Battlarts match-ups. Ishikawa/Ikeda is probably always going to be #1, but when was these two lacing into each other never not a treat? This had Greco at his squirmy best, just all over Ishikawa, constantly moving and transitioning. He controlled most of this when it was on the ground and Ishikawa was largely on the defensive. The problem for Greco was that Ishikawa never seemed to be in TOO much trouble. On the other hand, even if Ishikawa wasn't controlling the fight he was the one responsible for the most dangerous moments. There would be spells where he'd need to bide his time, but then he'd catch an opening and Greco would need to scramble for the ropes. I don't think Ishikawa needed to force a single rope break in the first two thirds while Greco needed several. Greco opting to drill Ishikawa in the face instead was quite the awesome wrinkle. He caught him with one upkick that dropped Ishikawa for an eight or nine and then you had the dynamic where maybe Greco didn't need to be winning the ground exchanges in order to win the fight. Finish is insane as he unloads with three kicks to the jaw that put Ishikawa out cold, then just to be sure he applies a brutal choke as Ishikawa's tongue turns purple. Either Ishikawa's bell got run legit or it was some of the best selling I've ever seen. Hell, it's Battlarts, maybe it was both.

This was exactly the kind of grimy, borderline-unprofessional scrap you expect out of Aoyagi and a few obscure indie scrubs in face paint. I'd never seen Ito or Shino before. I guess Ito is doing some third rate Power Warrior knock off while Shino has that voluminous Marty Jannetty mullet and dresses like Onita. Couldn't tell you if either of them are actually any good but Ito looks barely trained and watching him recklessly throw the other two around with powerbombs was sort of terrifying. They jump the karatekas at the start and within eleven seconds Aoyagi is cut open and leaving blood smears down the ring post. Umibozu plays a solid FIP so Aoyagi assumes the role of Tenryu in a karategi entering sporadically to kick guys in the spleen. Umibozu punches Shino in the privates a couple times and Aoyagi comes in off the hot tag crowbarring, then it all turns a bit sour as Umibozu whips out a pair of scissors or something and tries to stab Shino in the head. Naturally the match gets thrown out when Aoyagi hangs Ito to the ring post and kicks the shit out of him. Our referee gets repeatedly thrown around like an empty tracksuit for her troubles and I applaud her trying to maintain order for as long as she did. Of course this ruled, how the fuck couldn't it?

Thought this was a really nice wee TV match. Surly Bryan is so fun and this was largely him beating on Ali in nasty ways. Loved him just pulling at Ali’s face, yanking him back by the nose during the surfboard, the kicks, the mean muggin. The commercial breaks were annoying because it meant we missed most of Ali’s comebacks, which largely seemed to consist of bursts of HIGH OCTANE OFFENCE. Ali’s taken a wild bump every single time I’ve seen him and he took an awesome crash into the ring post here. That last little string of leg work didn’t last long, but it looked good and the heel hook will always be a favourite of mine (and Bryan’s looks great). People seem to be all in on this heel turn as well which is nice.

This might be the most non-WWF match to ever take place on a card that WWF had anything to do with. It was more PWFG than even SWS and the Dome setting made for a cool atmosphere. What a fun, niggly little fight. I really have no clue how good Ishinriki is. He's an ex-sumo guy but way smaller than your other ex-sumo guys who turned to pro wrestling and to my knowledge I've never seen him in anything else. I'd need to see more to get a proper handle on him because this could've been a Fujiwara broomstick show for all I know. I mean, Fujiwara was spectacular. He was at his derisory best here, ruffling Ishinriki's hair on a corner break, giving him a mocking "well done, champ" pat as he would catch strikes, waiting until Ishinriki went to the top rope before walking away with a smirk on his face, just fucking with the guy as the crowd ate it up completely. Then Ishinriki would turn up the nastiness and you could see it getting to Fujiwara. The first headbutt he threw was an absolute peach and I don't think Ishinriki expected it, but it was Ishinriki who started it with a slap. You don't usually see Fujiwara throw kick combos and often when he does they're sort of condescending, but he about took Ishinriki's jaw off with a head kick and it was one of the all-time great Fujiwara spots. Ishinriki getting frustrated and throwing crowbar uppercuts, head stomps and liver kicks ruled. It annoyed Fujiwara in kind and as the match went on that attitude of his had a growing menace to it. I don't even know how he managed to apply that armbar the way he did but you can add it to the highlight reel of Fujiwara flash finishes. These guys had another match this year which is...well that's pretty random, right?

Candy Okutsu v Mikiko Futagami (ARSION, 4/17/98) Really neat sprint, not too big on the extended selling but super scrappy and you had something cool happening literally every thirty seconds. Initially I figured they were going for a full on bombfest, but they pretty quickly developed a story of Futagami trying to take Candy's arm home with her. She was reversing all sorts of shit with all sorts of shit and constantly found ways to grab that arm, whether it be in kimuras, armbars, key locks, anything that was there to be grabbed she grabbed. Not all of it was completely smooth, but for the most part that scrappiness prevented it from coming off as an exhibition. Candy is always really fun and everything she did was at hyper speed, the parts where she'd sprint up turnbuckles, reel off several German suplexes in a row, everything with a real sense of desperation to it. In maybe the coolest spot of the match she bolted up to the top rope and hit a cross body to the outside, but as she landed Futagami somehow managed to transition straight into a cross armbreaker. Futagami's striking added another layer as well and she really came off like a pitbull. Some of those palm strikes were Liger-esque. I had to double check to see if there wasn't a clip job in here somewhere because no way did this feel like thirteen minutes. I guess if that's not the sign of a good sprint I don't know what is. Candy Okutsu v Yumi Fukawa (ARSION, 5/5/98) Pretty awesome little lucharesu/shoot style hybrid. For about fourteen of these seventeen minutes this kind of felt like an amalgamation of M-Pro and Battlarts. That's a fairly absurd amount of praise coming from someone who loves both of those promotions to death, but that was the vibe I was getting so fair fucks to them for pulling it off. They started out with a burst of rope-running and a fake out dive, then settled into a more mat-based contest with the lucha aspect in the background. Fukawa is a pocket rocket of a wrestler and I always dig her working the mat, but the eye-opener here was Candy. This might be the best I've seen her look working holds and that even includes her bouts with Yoshida. I don't know how Fukawa didn't end up paralyzed during this because she landed square on the top of her head off a whiffed Lionsault...and then she tried to just re-do the spot straight after and landed square on the top of her head AGAIN. It's hard to knock her and I thought Candy did okay covering for it, but it did take a wee bit of steam out of the last few minutes. Still, the fact she was even able to finish the match was impressive in itself and a few dodgy transitions towards the end wasn't the worst thing in the world. I liked this a ton.

I had no idea Honma ever worked Battlarts. I wasn't sure how he'd fit coming from a deathmatch fed and all, but he took to the style pretty well and we knew already that he wasn't shy about hitting and being hit really fucking hard. Ishikawa was absolutely world class here, which shouldn't really be surprising but it's been a minute since I've watched him. His exchanges with Usuda were stellar and there was one moment where he countered a headbutt by punching Usuda dead in the nose. Everything he did on the mat looked great as well, just airtight and ferocious. Fujita is still a touch raw but I thought he was a really good underdog, everything was frantic and his scrambling and striking was rapid fast. Other than that goofy fighting spirit part midway through he was more or less on top form, and even the fighting spirit part was more delayed selling than outright no-selling, so lesser of two evils and whatnot.

And this was pretty shit hot as well. I have no idea where it falls in a list of your best TLC matches, but if there's one thing this has over a shit load of the others it's that I truly bought the violence the wrestlers were trying to sell me. It had plunder and they took their time setting up some elaborate spots, but in amongst it all they never let you forget that ultimately these three women did not care a lick for one another. When was the last time anybody made a dumb kendo stick look like a proper weapon? Because these three have been smashing folk to bits with kendo sticks lately and this had some of the most brutal whippings yet. I really didn't watch much of Charlotte during her babyface run this year, though I know people seemed to be mostly cold on it. If that heel turn at Survivor Series promised a return to form then she's absolutely lived up to it because she was outstanding in this. Stuff like that "every man bows down to a QUEEN" bit would ordinarily feel super corny, but for whatever reason it totally worked in this, maybe because as soon as she said it she just slapped Becky clean across the face really hard. Her big somersault through the table looked great as well. It wasn't graceful, especially not compared to her moonsault that she always gets perfect rotation on, it looked more heavy, like she wanted to land with as much mass and inflict as much damage as possible. It also made for a great payback spot because that Becky legdrop off the ladder was fucking lunacy and about collapsed Charlotte's lungs. Her verbal sell of it ruled but then I'm not sure how much of that was selling. Then we got the spear through the barricade, which is a tired spot in WWE at this point, but this one looked as good as any Roman Reigns car wreck. She took off like a track athlete and absolutely crushed Asuka. They also went above and beyond during the parts where they were feebly reaching for the belt. Those moments always come off pretty hokey because, like, just climb another rung and reach up there, you know? But all three of them were desperate in throwing shots at the top of the ladder, sometimes just slapping each other about the shoulder or ear, knocking their arms out the way when someone tried to grab the belt. The finish works for me as well because Rousey's been saying for weeks that she has receipts, and considering how nearly every other babyface in the company consistently looks like a doofus it's cool to see one actually get something done for a change. It sets up plenty of options for where they could go next and they now have four women on the roster who are red hot with a ton of momentum at the right time.

Well Rousey continues to be absolute money and this was totally great, maybe not quite at the level of their first match but pretty damn close. This already feels like a great pairing, they just mesh super well together. I liked the beginning with Rousey popping and moving, getting about as cocky as we've seen in her short career so far. Then Nia inevitably catches her and starts the clubbering. There were a few amazing spots in this, the best ones coming from Ronda climbing all over Nia like some ridiculous CrossFit Games event. The front choke into the suplex was a really impressive bit of strength from Nia to begin with, but holy shit was that transition into the rear naked choke spectacular. That truly looked like Nia just tried to dump Rousey behind her and somehow Ronda managed to contort herself into whatever the fuck position was required to navigate the obstacle that was Nia's frame. At another point Ronda hit a great looking step up knee that was practically a Shining Wizard to a standing opponent, then as Nia was staggered Ronda used Nia's thigh to propel herself into what was almost a delayed superman punch. Also loved Ronda taking to the top turnbuckle. She went up there against Charlotte and kind of sold it like it might be a terrible idea, and when she did it here it was like she was talking herself into it as she climbed. She never climbed no turnbuckles in an Octagon. And her big cross body to the floor looked killer. Nia gets a lot of shit from a lot of people. I really haven't paid much attention to her the entire time she's been on TV, but she was the perfect foil for Ronda in both of their matches. The sit-out powerbomb to counter the armbar initially was cool, and maybe I'm just projecting but it felt like she sold the ever-present threat of it all the way through, like she knew from experience that Ronda could grab it from anywhere so it was important not to overextend. Finish was badass on a hundred levels. Rousey's shit talking is top tier anyway, but kissing Nia's fist before leaning into the armbwas was incredible. On top of that I love how she manoeuvered Nia's body after the takedown, not only to keep her away from the ropes but to make sure she could look Tamina in the eyes while she did it. That girl stuck her nose in once already and she'll think twice before doing it again. I guess if I had one complain it'd be that I wanted them to make more of the arm after the ring post spot, but part of that is because Rousey has become such a ridiculously fun saleswoman that you almost expect it now. That's pretty wild for someone who's been doing pro wrestling for all of nine months.

Are all the PPVs usually four hours long these days, then? Also how many fucking matches are on this show? Good grief.

I've been watching Will's Horsemen set so I'm on as close to a Flair kick right now as I've been in about a decade, and it's put me in the mood to rewatch some of what he was doing outside Crockett. This was pretty great when they were lacing into each other. The arena isn't mic'd up too well so you don't always get to hear the thwack on strikes, but some of these Wahoo chops are audible regardless. Flair has great chops, he always has, but he can't swing that knife edge like Wahoo and he's never had anything close to the overhand, so for once he's basically outmatched. And that was kind of the story. Flair will try and go toe to toe, but not only does it never end well for him, it never even approaches level footing. He'll throw one chop, maybe two at a push, and Wahoo will shred him. Flair simply can't hang. So I guess he decides he'll use the ropes at every opportunity and just cheat his way to victory. Maybe it was deliberate on the wrestlers' part, maybe it was a story they were actively telling, maybe I'm just projecting, but Flair's best friend in this match was the ring rope and if not for that he'd have been fucked. He wasn't only using it to cheat either. There were a few points where Wahoo dropped him with a chop or a tomahawk and Flair only escaped by draping a foot over the rope. Late on he tried to take it to the floor, but that backfired as well and it was him who wound up with a bloody forehead. Still, the ropes weren't going anywhere and they were always there to bail him out. Flair winning via dodgy pinfall with his feet on the ropes wasn't exactly a rarity, but I don't remember it ever being built to quite like that. Maybe that "build" was coincidental. It probably was, honestly. Either way it worked and overall this was good stuff.

This was probably never going to be messing with the '85 stips match, but it's these two in a cage so obviously it was twelve minutes of badass. There was almost a running gag as folk were watching the original Mid-South set about the ring ropes in Houston constantly falling to bits. It happened in a bunch of matches. Maybe it was deliberate, like it was Boesch's way of throwing a curve ball and seeing how they'd persevere. Build character through adversity and whatnot. I don't recall it ever actively derailing a match and I imagine this would've been good had the ropes stayed in place, but somehow the turnbuckle flying apart seemed to make it even better. It happens only a couple minutes in, and as soon as it does Duggan just picks it up and tries to strangle DiBiase with this stray ring rope. Ted has already decided he's had enough of this and tries to roll away, but of course he only gets so far before the cage stops him. His "oh shit what have I done?" reaction as Duggan stands over him with a turnbuckle bolt is incredible. The rope and bolt then become a permanent fixture for the rest of the match. DiBiase uses it to cut Duggan open first and there's an amazing bit where he practically stabs him clean in the face with it. Duggan's comeback is total Hacksaw which means it's all-time level great. Seriously, who has a better walking tall babyface comeback than Duggan? The foot-stomping, the punches, the wild mane, it never fails. The big payback shots with the bolt obviously ruled, too. Ted loading the glove and punching Duggan in the gut was an awesome spot just for Duggan selling it like he'd been shot, but then they started running the two remaining ring ropes and it ended up with Duggan holding the equalizer. This is one of the best match-ups in US wrestling history, right?

I'm up to August '85 now and the booking continues to be stellar. Everything surrounding the Horsemen - still largely wrestling as individuals in Flair and Tully's case, with Arn and Ole being a team unto themselves - has been great TV. I had pretty much no recollection of the Flair/Nikita feud but it's been tremendous. The angle to set it up with Nikita giving Crockett the Sickle on TV ruled, then Flair getting more and more animated on interviews every week has continued to be great. I also like how he's only really babyface against the Russians while still largely being Slick Ric (bit of an asshole) with everyone else. Also like that it's more than just those evil Russians v Flair the American and Flair's spouting way more than your standard "this is AMERICA, JACK!" rhetoric. David Crockett and Flair might be completely different types of people and Dave might not agree with how Flair conducts himself a lot of the time, but they were in a fucking plane crash together so if nothing else there's a bond there. Flair's fighting for a guy he respects as much as anything. The GAB match was clipped up but looked really fun, even if the finish was a total mess (a fan jumping the ring to get at Nikita wouldn't have helped matters, certainly). Then the match from the Omni was just super fun and I liked it a bunch. There's really no part of Flair's career that I feel like I need to revisit at this point; that book is closed, I've seen hours upon hours of footage over the last fifteen years and I know where I stand on him. But babyface Flair still somehow managed to feel kind of fresh and he was a blast in this, even though he honestly didn't change up THAT much in his approach. It was still Flair v your prototype Big Hoss, but there was a babyface energy to it and his strutting and wooing was infectious. The Dusty/Tully feud is full of great mic work like you'd expect, but man. I know the 80s were different and all, and I know Dusty was beloved, and I know Tully was a cheating little weasel, but Dusty has been nothing but a prick to Baby Doll through all of this while Tully has almost entirely been a gentleman (I get that Baby Doll hasn't exactly been innocent, but still). "Baby Doll is now Dusty's" is a hell of a way to pay off that stipulation for the GAB cage match. He calls her a jezebel on the regular and verbally abuses her for doing anything without his say so, drags her around by the wrist and a couple times by the hair, has a few of his ham n egger babyfaces grab her when she tries to run away initially and folk are just losing it for everything. At times it's sort of disturbing. There was an awesome segment where he was making her shovel horse shit at his ranch (while his dog sat there staring at her in I guess bemusement), then got her to saddle a horse so he could show his friend how well he'd trained her or some nonsense. The shit-shoveling she wasn't into but she likes the horses and has clearly taken a shine to this one. She saddles up, gets on and demonstrates how well she's able to ride now. She rides around the yard a few times as Dusty's telling his daft wee buddy that he'll make a proper Texas lady of her yet (isn't she actually from Texas anyway?). And then she just speeds off clean out the yard on horseback! Just fucking steals the horse and bolts! Dusty's like "that damn lady just stole my horse" in disbelief and Baby Doll is flat out gone. It was so great. Tully on TV sort of hints that it may have been planned, but of course you'll never hear him admit it publicly. He's also just won the US title from Magnum with help from a mysterious blond-haired security guard. Tully says it was just a regular security guard who happened to lose herself in the heat of the moment and give Tully a kiss on the cheek, and that gave Tully a second wind. Schiavone asks Tully outright if he had something in his hand when he struck Magnum and Tully asks Tony how the greatest announcer on TV could possibly think that of him (on a side note, I love how the Horsemen are largely respectful of Schiavone. Flair seems to genuinely like him). Tony is diplomatic about it but says it looks like something may have flown out of his hand after the punch, but Tully assures us it was just because some fans started throwing money at him. He is fucking sensational.

A CARBON HOOFPRINT! He’s mega fun right now.

This match-up never fails to deliver. I don't even know how many MX/Fans matches I've seen by now, but from Texas to Oklahoma to North Carolina it's pretty much always money. If this isn't their best match together there's a decent chance it's their wildest. That first little stretch of chaos is so good, tables and chairs and tennis rackets all over the place, like some kind of alternate universe ECW that ran out of a flea market in Greensboro. Cornette was a sensational little irritant, swinging that racket and running for his life, at one point flinging a chair at Bobby Fulton's face, only for Fulton to catch it and send Cornette bolting so fast you expected his jacket to fly off. The heat segment on Rogers might be the best MX beatdown of them all and boy does that cover some major ground. The transition comes when Lane makes the blind tag and they catch him with an awesome chop block/leaping clothesline Total Elimination style, then from there they just run through all sorts of killer offence. Lane's karate was landing with a little extra mustard, Eaton was hitting body slams and a bulldog across a folded table, they rolled out the drop toe hold/running elbow double team, Cornette got involved again by holding up that table as a target for Tommy's head, it all ruled. You know you're onto something special when Eaton's blowing out his arse after running through his bag of tricks and Lane keeps tagging him back in anyway. The Dusty Finish had probably been run into the ground as a concept by this point, but Fulton was going apeshit on the apron the entire time Rogers was being mugged so you can certainly buy that missed hot tag being his tipping point. Extra points for the post-match whipping and this whole thing was the bomb. One of the best US tag matches ever.

I had never heard of this show before. Didn't know it was a thing. Was it Crockett's pre-Clash answer to Saturday Night's Main Event? Was it a one time deal? Did they have several Superstars on the Superstations? The card actually looks really good, with this, Flair/Garvin for the belt, Dusty v Tully and a Road Warriors v Russians match that probably would've been a cool spectacle if nothing else. But even if everything else sucked, this match might've been worth the price of admission. The Midnights get the jump early, and you know the RnRs will go on a run but it's how they manage to get to it that's always fun. For as often as these teams have matched up, the thing that's always super impressive is how inventive they are. We have footage of them wrestling each other on consecutive nights in different arenas in different states, with no TV cameras rolling, having every opportunity to basically wrestle the same match and still send the folks home happy. And yet I don't think I've ever seen them do it. They always have something new every time out. Here the MX slingshot Gibson from the apron into the ring while he's kitted out in his pre-match gear. They try the same with Morton, but Morton flips it and slingshots both Eaton and Condrey out to the floor, which sets up the babyface shine. They end up working over Condrey's knee for a bit and it was really good stuff, lots of quick tags, elbows across the knee from varying heights, a double wishbone here and spinning toe hold there. Cool bit where Condrey hits a big knee to Morton's gut, but just as you think he might be able to scoot over and make the tag he collapses in a heap clutching the leg. It's sort of trite to make note of Robert Gibson not being the face in peril Ricky Morton is, but he's more than competent and the MX can take someone even half that good to a strong heat segment. So obviously the heat segment was good. Condrey's kneedrops are so badass, right into the throat or sternum or clavicle. Eaton also threw an absolute corker of a left hand and so there we have two of my favorite things. I don't have a clue where this sits in the pantheon of Express v Express matches, but it's probably up towards the top somewhere (Sleeze might be onto something about it only being behind Wrestlewar). So yeah, it was pretty great.