[2000-02-05-MPPW-TV] Jim Cornette vs Randy Hales (Lumberjack Strap)

[soup23]

Cornette is in his wrestling singlet and delivers a promo. The lumberjacks are all hand picked by Corny and have a vendetta against Randy Hales. Hales is in his business casual best. Power Pro is one hour later because of an NBA special that Cory first calls the playoffs. In February Cory??? Randy still has an awkward quality to him but this is your usual manager affair. Randy hits a bulldog and picks up the win before being waylayed by Tracy with a chair right across the head. Mayhem ensues. *1/2

[Loss]

Cornette almost manages to make this match seem like the fight of the century in the pre-match promo. All the lumberjacks are heels since Cornette got to pick them all because of a contract loophole. The crowd chants for Randy, but he sure is an awkward guy. He gets a clean win after Not A Great Bulldog But Probably Not The Worst One I've Ever Seen. Weird thing to say about non-workers, but I almost wish this had lasted longer just so it could have had more schtick and more time to pace.

[goc]

Randy Hales makes Greg Gagne look like the smoothest wrestler of all time in comparison. Cornette is actually quite good in this and all of his offense looks good while Randy is just the most awkward guy to probably ever have a wrestling match. I kind of agree that this felt too short but that was probably the right call because it kept Randy from having to really do anything except lay there while Cornette beat on on him and then make a super short comeback.

[Moonsault Marvin]

Couldn't they have found Randy Hales some tights? The match came across as terribly awkward as Cornette isn't convincing giving a beating and Hales is completely out of his element. There wasn't much use of the straps for something billed as a lumberjack strap match.

[Tim Evans]

This was the definition of a promoter booking himself in a top match. Randy Hales couldn't work a lick but for some reason liked to book himself in tv matches. This was pretty bad as Randy looked clumsy and awkward. Glad this was short though. Also no ref bump which is a plus. Tracy just brains poor Randy with the chairshot like someone owed him money.

[GSR]

You fear the worst when one of the participants hasn’t even got any ring gear to wear! Lumberjack strap match where, due to a stipulation made by Brandon Baxter earlier in the show, all the lumberjacks have been hand-picked by Jim Cornette. There are not many people I’d back Corny to beat in a fight, but Hales is one! B.J. Payne nails a very awkward looking Hales which give Cornette the early advantage. Corny distracts the referee and this allows the lumberjacks to get some shots in on Hales. He later drops Hales with a right then misses an elbow drop. Payne throws a strap in to Cornette, but Hales is able to get a boot to the mid-section in first and he drops it. Randy picks up the strap and starts whipping Cornette (this looks dreadful). He repeatedly rams his head into the turnbuckle, and the world’s worst bulldog sees Hales come out the victor. Tracey Smothers gets in the ring and cracks Hales over the head with a nasty looking chair shot, before Scotty Sabre, 2 Falk 4 Sure (Tony Falk) and Bulldog Raines are all out and a bit of a ringside brawl takes place.

 

I think awkward sums Randy Hales up to a ‘T’. Cornette was on the offense for the majority of this and that’s definitely for the better. The match was short enough that it wasn’t offensive, although I was expecting a lot more schtick and smoke and mirrors, as opposed to the two of them trying to do a straight match.