Phil Schneider

Here are my reviews of the two title matches from Segunda Caida 6. John Cena v. Shawn Michaels WWE 4/1 This was really the match that ends all arguments about John Cena. Shawn Micheals is personally the most loathsome thing in wrestling. I have such a visceral hatred of him, the fact I enjoyed this match as much as I did was pretty much a miracle, and it was all Cena. Micheals comes out in this preposterous Christian stripper outfit with goofy crosses hanging down and mingling with his chest hair, he looks like a Ted Haggard rent boy post Protease. Then while Cena is coming to the ring he is making faces like a drag queen doing Cher. He is like Paul Lynde at this point, I have no idea how anyone can take him seriously. The first part of the match is all about crafty Micheals outsmarting Cena. Micheals is pretty terrible in this part, ducking punches like he is bowing to a Japaneese lady, throwing wrestling school trainee level chops and mincing around the ring like a less masculine May Flowers. Cena was great though, showing frustration through his face, struggling against poorly executed holds, and bumping big for whatever those punch like things were supposed to be. At one point Micheals had Cena in a loose headscissors, and Cena must have held his breath because his face is turning purple. Micheals does hit a nice Asai, although even the coolest thing about that was how Cena catches it against the table so it looked like his back was broken. The next section was Micheals working the leg and he basically used stomps and chop blocks which he can pull off. People are bitching about the leg selling, but I thought it was fine, Cena sold it a ton when it was being applied, and also sold it during the first part of his comeback, until he was able to shrug it off. He didn't just stop selling, there was a transition. Somewhere in this Micheals takes a shitty looking posting and blades, but still basically controls. The piledriver on the steps was pretty great looking, although I don't get why Ross kept calling it a spike piledriver. Who was the spiker? I guess Jesus is his Arn. You normal Micheals formula match has the opponent control the match, destroy Shawn's surgically repaired back, hit all of his finishers, Micheals then Resurrects hits his superkick and pins his opponent. It is a match structure that makes his opponents look like shit,. Here he controlled the match, while he doesn't really have enough stuff to control a match, at least he doesn't make all of Cena's stuff look like shit, by ignoring it. The finish run was a lot better then in the other title match, you had the kick outs of the finishers, but they weren't just running through their finishers for two counts, they were mixing it up. I loved the constant drop toe holds by Cena, they looked great and it is a very cool set up for the STFU. Cena's fatigue selling was awesome, and I liked them laying on each other at the end, although Micheals rubbing Cena's cock was pretty fucking uncomfortable, I guess jerking Cena off was a match strategy "Hunter is always spent after I do this." Pretty amazing one man show, it seems pretty crazy to say, but Cena may be the best wrestler in the world right now. No one around works big time main event wrestling better. He may not do as many cool things as say Austin Aries, but everything he does counts. 8. Undertaker v. Batista WWE 4/1 The disappointing Batista v. JBL matches always started with great big man slugfests, but they would be main eventing and have to go 20+ so you would have long chinlock sections. This wasn't a main event, so they could work a brawl the whole match. I really liked most of this match, big guys going after each other, and some big moves sprinkled in. The tope was awesome looking, and pretty crazy to do with only one guy catching. The match fell apart a little at the end though, as they really did this obligatory WWE main event finish. A guy hits his secondary finisher for a dramatic two count, then the other guy hits his secondary finisher for a dramatic two count, rinse repeat. It is pretty cliched and it really looked tacked on here. Still this was damn fun for a match nobody expected anything from.

To go watch the pair of first round match ups in the Lucha 64 tourney and review them. PIRATA~!, MIDGETS~!, MORE PIRATA~! BLOOD~! EVEN MORE PIRATA~!

The tourney proper is starting up now. Everyone should check it out

Cool, I am looking forward to hear what you think of the Villanos match.

Go watch the two MDM matches to start, both of them are total blasts, it is alot of fun to see Texano be so great in the last months of his life.

We are about to start the Lucha 64 match madness tourny at DVDVR. Currently there is a Misionaries De La Muerte playoff going on. Lucha can always bring you back

I am thinking about submitting a Friday Night Fights report. Williams v. Briggs on the undercard was a ****1/2 FOTYC, although Quiles v. Nate Cambell was a squash match. Good drama with Teddy Atlas calling for the stoppage in the 12th round but it would have been better if it had been booked more competatively in the early rounds

Downloaded the tag, I am pretty excited for it. BTW Tim remind me to send you a copy of Hall Brothers v. Masked Superstar 2/Mike Booth from NWA-VA end of last year. That is some Southern tag goodness right there.

Watched the Lawler v. Lars match, Lars is quite the least of the Andersons. Watched the first couple of concession stand brawls too. I really enjoyed the Blond Bombers v. Gibson for a real houseshow concession stand brawl.

Fuck you, where is my FULL

Probably, Tim got it from us, so I imagine he sent it to you. Shit send me a DVD of it, if you have it in DVD format.

Some more hidden classics from Segunda Caida El Hijo Del Santo v. Brazo De Oro UWA 1/13/91 PAS: This is a mask v. hair match, and is two guys working an amazing match in their secondary specialties. Santo is primarily known for classic lucha, either technical singles matches or formula trios match, the Brazos are primarily known as comedy wrestlers. However both guys are amazing brawlers, and this is a bloody violent amazing brawl. Oro has such force on everything he does, headbutts, kicks, stomps, he comes off as a total asskicker. He dominates the first round, busting open Santo so you can see a pulsating blood stain on the Silver mask. Santo comes back and hits his brawling flying moves, he is the best at making topes look like vicious attacks. Oro isn't about to be out bled and by the end of the match has a sickening amount of blood squirting out of his head. TKG: Santo is a guy who works really great singles matches. I've written a bunch of times about the difference between how luchadors work a title match and how they work a hair/mask match. Both very different styles/genres of matches and both genres that Santo really is master of. And on some level here you have a formula Santo hair/mask match where they meet all the genre conventions/requirements that you need to get that off. This is of course not jut any Hair/Mask match its a Hijo del Santo hair/mask match which means really the finish is never in any doubt...nonetheless the two guys need to work up to a level where you loose track of that. There is normally an inherent drama in a hair/mask match that is going to be missing when you have a Santo hair/mask match. Instead the drama is about the guy who you know is going to loose having to make an actual fight out of it, so not just a hair/mask match its kind of hair/mask match with undercurrent of lower ranked guy challenging Jumbo or somesuch. And motherfuck does Brazo del Oro just step up to the plate. Oro isn't just an absolute bad ass in the opening fall which he dominates but he really comes off as guy fighting for the fall in the second Santo fall too. Wayne Shamrock v. Naoki Sano PWFG 5/19/91 PAS: I was pretty much in shock during this match, I couldn't believe what I was watching. I have never particularly cared for a thing Ken Shamrock has ever done, so I expected nothing out of this match, and it turned out to be as good as anything on the 80's Other Japan set. So much to love about this match, as they pretty much went back and forth from spectacular mat exchanges into awesome slugfest strike exchanges, great takedowns, into more spectacular mat exchanges. The pacing of this was great, I especially loved how they paced their mat highspots. One guy would get in position and struggle a bit, and their would be a lull, and then super fast move into a choke or a kneebar. The crowd would pop huge for all of the mat spots, and it was the pacing of them which would really do it. Then after the mat near falls they would stand and just lay into each other with big shots, Shamrock's strikes looked way better here then in the previous match, and Sano was drilling him too. This was before Sano went to UWFI so I would guess this was his first shootstyle match ever, and he was a master of it. This was Sano's match, and while Shamrock was game, you could tell Sano was leading him. I also loved how Sano mixed in pro moves, as I actually bought an STF as a shoot submission, and a DDT as a shoot throw. TKG: Shamrock comes into this with preposterous Saturday Night Fever hair. He's one headband away from being the Dingo Warrior. This had a ton of crowd heat and first half is really made by that crowd heat. Phil covers really the early pacing of this as its two guys jockeying for position, conservatively moving toward a big move...moving moving...then they hit it and crowd pops. Both guys are conservative. They don't want to leave anything open for opponent. So its all about fight for position. As the match goes on you get the sense that both guys get more desperate. Shamrock throws his hands more often and all the big moves go from being hit cleanly to being almost video game style "make or miss" moves. So first half of the match is all about guys getting into position for throws or submissions and then hitting them cleanly, second half is about their health power bars wearing down and so they struggle to get into position for stuff and then can't hit it cleanly. Shamrock moves into position to hook Sano's legs with leg scissors and can't do it...opening himself up for Sano. Sano moves into position for throws but can no longer deal with Shamrocks weight advantage and so can't hit the throws cleanly...leaving himself open for Shamrock. It's not the traditional body of match/finish of match split. Its two conservative fighters sticking to their gameplan with the fight taking its tole. It's that layout that really made this for me. Well that and the shoot DDT Genericho Tenryu v.Yoshiaki Yatsu SWS 10/29/91 TKG: So Phil gets this SWS card with a disappointing Orient Express vs. Sano/Orihara match, disappointing Haku/Nakano vs. somebody and Fuyuki, disappointing Takano v. Barbarian, Bestia carrying Asai to a nice juniors match , and I guess a the Hara vs. Warlord match which exceeded expectations. And then there was the main event. And Fuck I need to see every time these two guys match up. What did Tenryu do to Yatsu to deserve this? What did Yatsu do to Tenryu? What in hell are these two guys doing to each other. This starts with Yatsu slapping the dogshit out of Tenryu's ear, and then Yatsu just looks to be going after the ear, forearm right to the ear, stiff enziguri right to ear, etc. Its like he wants to bust his eardrum. Yatsu is sick of the women being drawn to Tenryu on the dance floor and has decided to fuck Tenryu's balance up permanently. Tenryu crawls around the ring and sells. Damnit bitch its my jherri curl that draws the women not my dance steps you ugly fuck. Tenryu chops the fuck out of Yatsu chops him right on the throat, enziguri's him in the back of the head, etc. But this is really the Yatsu show as he goes on these huge runs of offense were you legit believe that Tenryu is concussed or at least been rendered near imobile. I think my favorite spot is the first rope flying battering ram headbutt that Yatsu throws. He follows this up with just a really nasty Terry Taylor type chinbreaker except he executes it with this kind of complete disregard. Like Steve Williams throwing a dangerous suplex, except its a chinbreaker. Chinbreaker 91~! PAS: Yatsu had all the really great offense in this match, Tom didn't even mention the bulldog on the floor or the running shoulder block off the apron, but Tenryu was bringing some sick violence to the show. Laying in the Kawada kicks right to Yatsu's eye and face, there was a section where Tenryu kicks him directly in the kidney and Yatsu kinds of rolls on the mat clutching it in pain. Then Tenryu just starts kneeing and punching him right on the kidney, and you get the sense if Tenryu lost his equilibrium after this match, Yatsu wasn't able to drink coffee or liquor ever again. I think there were multiple parts in this match where you figured they would have to stop the match and get a doctor. I thought Tenryu was concussed by an early Yatsu lariat, thought Yatsu had lacerated his spleen. Just an epic amazing shockingly violent train wreck of a classic match.

Couple of matches we review in the hidden gems section of Segunda Caida Riki Choshu v. Yoshiaki Fujiwara New Japan 6/9/87 PAS: Pretty much a textbook example of a simple match performed by ridiculously charismatic performers, and how great something like that can be. Very few wrestling moves performed by either guy. Fujiwara does basically headbutts, punches and a Fujiwara arm bar. Choshu does kicks, one back suplex, a scorpion deathlock and Choshu lariats. It isn't about what they do, it is how and when they do it. Fujiwara jumps Choshu in the aisle and just destroys him for the opening five minutes. Choshu is bleeding and Fujiwara is smirking and strutting, Choshu gets control with a back suplex, and Fujiwara has an awesome "Oh Fuck" look on his face as he goes up. It gets a little more back and forth after that, but Fujiwara still controls most of it, until he makes the mistake of getting cocky and removing the ringpad. Choshu reverses the whip, Fujiwara takes a bump, they spill to the outside, and Choshu just smashes Fujiwara's head into the ringpost. Fujiwara has a traditional comedy spot, where he no-sells getting his head smashed into the ringpost, so Choshu really has to crack open his skull to make it work. Then it is all about a repulsively bloody Fujiwara trying to survive incredible looking Choshu lariats. Both guys come off as such superstars, it was like watching Hogan v. Rock with actually contact being made on the moves. TKG: So Fujiwara attacks Choshu in the aisle busts him open and beats on him, and beats on him, and beats on him...and there is no comeback and it almost had a lucha fall feel as just completely one sided but you can tell everything by reading both guys eyes. Phil mentions Fujiwara's facial expressions and I don't care how long one studies mime with Decroux...Fujiwara can communicate more with a wrinkle of his nose. There is this point where Choshu is punching Fujiwara in the corner and Fujiwara goes from anger at being in the corner, to defiance , to struggling to maintain the defiance, to just a fuck you face that would make Murakami cower. The first lariat that Choshu hits Fujiwara with is just an absolute blast..like getting run over by a truck. the second and third ones are less impressive lariats but Fujiwara has these really awesome ways of selling/taking them. I mean they are still impressive lariats but its more about Fujiwara going into a flamingo stance and the flipping downward in what really looks like a boxer getting KOed and moving legs involuntarily on fall kind of deal. The lariat take that ends the match, I can't even come up with a way to describe it. Original Midnight Express v. Jerry Lawler + Bill Dundee AWA 10/30/87 PAS: This is for the AWA tag belts and is a match which on paper looks really awesome, but especially in the 80’s on paper matches were often pretty disappointing. This however was even better then it looked on paper. Lawler and Dundee are a great tag team, we all know what great individual wrestlers they are, and how well they match up against each other, but they also have great face tag team shtick. Their opening babyface in control section was just full of great stuff. I especially loved the variations on the partner blocks the Irish whip into the corner, also this was a punch marks dream match with both Lawler and Dundee breaking out tons of different combos. I especially loved the running left hook by Dundee. OMX were a lot fun in this too, especially Randy Rose who looked Eaton great in this, he takes a huge high backdrop, and has a bunch of fun offense. Slim Paul E. with his sport coat with rolled up sleeves throws in the phone and the OMX win the belts. I liked this more then any of the Rose/Somers v. Midnight Rockers matches and this was fucking with the high end Rock and Rolls v. Midnights matches. TKG: Man this was fun. A lot of faces do stuff effectively, heels try same spots only to have the backfire. If you’ve seen the Memphis doc on youtube, you may remember the Hector Guerrero vs. Lawler spot where Hector puts Lawler across top rope and then kicks at him…Lawler tries same spot and Hector gets out of way. Lawler does same spot with Rose but with Lawler working face this time out. Lawler is caught with knee in corner and ends up face in peril eating a punch with a big bump to floor and then taking body slam on the floor running powerslam from Rose, etc. Dundee is all over the place as guy on apron…running after Heyman on the floor. Holding back heel from making tag while waiting for Lawler’s attempt to make hot tag etc. But really this match is about the early face in control section with the two faces just laying in punches and clotheslines..with Randy Rose just running head first into the fists and lariats. Dundee does a top rope knee drop with refs back turned. I don’t know what the top rope rule was at the time but ref turns around and really can’t figure out what’s going on as Lawler and Dundee switch off going for two counts on Rose before ref can figure out who is the legal man. I don’t know if it was a stunt granny but there is also a nun in the front row who punches at the air with every face punch and gets absolutely irate at all the heel cheating.

The fuck Russo hasn't fucked up LAX. It was kind of a stupid idea to begin with, but all that burning the American flag shit was Russo. Then feuding with American Hero Petey Williams, then you have the Dudleys treating them like the Mulkeys, plus the upcoming addition of Machete and Apollo they are on life support. Homicide will be killed dead like Joe any minute.

Comics? I used to read Batman when I was 8, I read Watchmen about 5 years ago, I used to like the Boondocks before McGruder left. If you are going to insult me, insult me correctly. It's like me calling you a Neo-Facist sexist, instead of a Neo-Nazi racist.

Holocaust denial and calling blacks sub human is also offensive BTW, if you were just an innocent who didn't realize what he was saying.

And its a scaffold match not a ladder match. How drunk were you when you wrote that post Dylan?

Man the only thing more repellent then a self serious teenage Neo-Nazi, is a self serious teenage Neo-Nazi who uses tOa speak.

Misawa has sort of a semitic face for a Japaneese guy. Maybe Annie finds his stoicism "sneaky"

All of the points HTW is making about UFC fighters could equally be applied to Boxers. So if Tito Ortiz is eligable for the award, why isn't Floyd Maywether?

I personally think Oscar De La Hoya is a lock for the Flair award next year. Maybe Floyd Maywether if he wins the fight and gets a fight later in the year. BTW the Punk news also mentioned him getting heat for making out with Maria in Iraq. Seems clear that he is fucking above his push and that is why he is getting buried.