Superstar Sleeze

Shave & Cena vs Owens & Zayn is what makes sense for Mania, right?

WWE US Champion Finlay vs William Regal - GA 2006 "Give me some skin, Teddy!" - Finlay Finlay was in the midst of a feud with Bobby Lashley, but Lashley was suffering from elevated liver enzymes and so he is out and instead we get this gem. Even when their matches are unheralded you got to go out of your way to see a Finlay vs Regal bout. Not as good as their WCW wars, but this is still a hard hitting, badass affair. Now the fans do get restless and they end up chanting boring. I don't think it was due to bad workmanship per se, but the lack of a narrative. It is hard to call this a spotfest as there were almost no highspots. But there was no web between the spots. Regal was sort of playing de facto babyface, but they did not do a shine or a heat segment. They didn't get the fans invested in Regal. They went out and did a Regal vs Finlay match where they stiffed the hell out of each other. Yes, that appeals to me, but I don't think that would appeal to the broader audience. I actually thought they had a couple missed opportunities. This was during the time period where Finlay had the Little Bastard (aka Hornswoggle) under the ring. The first two times Regal got momentum, the Little Bastard was there to stunt it. The first time he was hitting Regal with a shillelagh and second time he bit his fingers. This could have led to great hand psychology from Finlay. Or they could have kept up with the narrative that Regal cant get anything going with that Little Bastard under the ring. JBL tells Michael Cole not to call him that because he may have parents. Turns out he was a bastard, the bastard son of Vince McMahon. The finish was a typically creative, good one from these two. Finlay does his classic catch his opponent in the apron skirt. Regal comes out without one of his boots. Cole surmises that the Little Bastard must have taken it. Finaly stomps the foot and goes for the throat. Regal fires up and grabs the shillelagh. Little Bastard gives Finlay the boot and he waylays him for the win. This is a match that I clearly enjoy, but understand that it is tone deaf and lacked a narrative. ***1/2

Andre The Giant vs Killer Khan - WWF Philadelphia 11/14/81 Stretcher Match One of the most famous matches of this era, Andre is looking to exact revenge for Khan breaking his ankle. I guess Andre broke his ankle getting out of bed so they shot an angle where Khan injured him or did they just say on TV that he did. Then on TV when Andre was giving an interview as an update on his recuperation, Khan attacked Andre with his crutch reinjuring the ankle. Here comes Andre now ready to kick some ass. No fun comedy spots. Andre here was ready to rock. Headbutts, punches, slaps and Khan could run but he could not hide. Andre just sits on him with all his own weight. Andre misses a headbutt. This is Khan's only chance. He ties up the ankle in the ropes. Khan attacks the ankle. Khan tries to have Andre put on the stretcher. Oh yeah, so they bring in a stretcher and the ref & trainer try to put the man on the stretcher. Andre ROARS back whacking Khan with the stretcher! I thought the match kinda petered out after that. Andre just sits on Khan a lot. Khan would resist getting on the stretcher. Andre would sit back on him. Andre splashes him to win. Andre definitely kicked ass. It just did not feel like that fist pumping moment. Definitely a good match, but pales in comparison of their New Japan classic. ***1/2

WWF Tag Team Champion Rick Martel & Tony Garea vs Mr. Fuji & Mr. Saito - WWF Championship Wrestling 10/17/81 "RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH NOTHING BUT PURE SALT" - Vince McMahon with a ***** call After Moondogs lose the tag belt back to Martel & Garea (couldn't find the title switch back), Albano returns with a new team this one from Land of the Rising Sun, WWF stalwart, Mr. Fuji teaming with one of the all-time greats, Mr. Saito. Martel & Saito would go onto have a classic match for the AWA World Championship in the mid-80s but here they have a fun tag team match. Martel is such a joy to watch. I really have not watch much Garea but he reminds me of an older Martel just as fired up and excited to wrestle. I loved the babyface shine. Lots of energy and excitement. Martel's crossbody was great. I thought the transition to heat was a little weak they just sort of all sudden beat up on Garea. It is a solid heat segment. I guess I was expecting more Saito like I saw in the AWA here he is much more toned down version. Wrestling more like Fuji meaning a lot more cheating. I liked Garea whiffing hard on that dropkick. Garea breaks free and tags in Martel and it is pure OUI OUI RICKY MARTEL! As much as I love FIP Martel, HOT TAG RICKY MARTEL is hard to beat. It was short but sweet. He goes up for the crossbody when Mr. Fuji hits him RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH NOTHING BUT PURE SALT! The ref, Dicky Whirly, does not see it. 1-2-3! New World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Champions. Rick Martel gives the absolute best sell job of salt I have ever seen as he is just writhing in agony. ***1/2

WWF World Tag Team Champions Rick Martel & Tony Garea vs The Moondogs - WWF Championship Wrestling 4/4/81 I forget the ring announcer's name, but this is the one that the Titans love to impersonate and he is a lot of fun. I preferred the MSG match to this one even though the MSG match had the non-finish. This one just did not have the same zip. The babyface shine felt like more heel in peril as Martel/Garea worked over the arm and the Moondogs kept missing elbow drops. There were no big bumps and like I had Martel & Garea put in effort, but it was not that same level of fun. The heat segment was definitely solid. Martel sold like a million bucks and the Moondogs were good on top: eye rakes, choking, fishhooks, backbreakers. Great hope spots. I thought the finish was the best part. Garea puts on the ab stretch, but Albano has coached up his Moondogs don't hit him with bone yet just break up the hold. Garea strikes the ref on his backswing of his punch. Now the Moondogs hit him with his big bone. Ref is up 1-2-3! Great old school heel finish to put some heat on the feud as you cant have Martel & Garea beat the Moondogs like a drum each time. Good stuff. ***1/4

Andre The Giant vs Sgt. Slaughter - WWF MSG 3/16/81 Wildly entertaining. Slaughter was so over. I liked the Hall of Montezuma bit Sarge did at the beginning. With Backlund working Hansen (Blassie), the Grand Wizard's charge was facing the other babyfaces such as Pedro, Andre and Patterson. I loved how much fun this was. Sarge bumping for Andre was awesome! So good. I love that ass spot Andre always does as a babyface. I was impressed with how Sarge was creating offense for himself. It was all about getting that Cobra Clutch. I liked how he tried for it while Andre had him in the leglock. Andre's selling after his own suplex was great. Like he is so strong he knocked himself loopy. Sarge rakes the eyes and tries to go up top and PRESS SLAM! Huge pop! Andre is on a roll. Sarge pulls the ref in front of him to draw the DQ. Andre looked great here and is so much fun. Sgt. Slaughter is the perfect heel foil for Andre because he bumps big, but the threat of the Cobra Clutch keeps it competitive. ***1/2

WWF World Tag Team Champions Rick Martel & Tony Garea vs Moondogs - WWF MSG 12/29/80 "The Moondogs having themselves a powwow, no maybe it is a bowwow. No. No. Boo." - Vince McMahon booing his own joke. I have been meaning to watch this series forever. Rick Martel & Tony Garea were the hot new babyface team that just dethroned the Lou Albano's Wild Samoans and now Lou Albano is back with a new rough 'n' tumble tag team combination, the Moondogs. They are psycho hillbillies that carry around large bones. They are right up by alley as they are totally outrageous gimmick, they are big and fat and they bump like mad. They do a little bit to establish the power game and then Rick Martel goes into Ricky Martel mode. I feel like I must have made this comparison in the past, but he reminds me so much of Eddie Guerrero in how infectious his energy is. He looks like he is having so much fun. This is my first look at Tony Garea. For a dude near retirement, he has some pep in his step too. I like how he throws a dropkick in such a way that he lands on his feet. It looks awkward as fuck but hey he doesn't take a bump. Smart! They work over a Moondogs leg. King is the bigger of the two, but still have not gotten good at telling them apart. So the other one gets up on the top rope and Martel press slams him off to a massive pop. The Moondogs were really good bumping & stooging heels. Moondog King punches Martel in the head while in a hold. Then smacks the shit out of him. Just a beautiful heat segment. So much drama in Martel trying to get the tag while almost being pinned too. Moondogs were great at choking and double teams. Martel the selling and the hope spots. There was one great left-right combination, whip into the buckles, he charges and eats the boots and the air just goes out of the building. Fabulous job in building that drama to the hot tag. Martel eventually scurries around and tags in Garea. Garea has some zip still. Back body drops for everyone. Garea gets a Moondog in an abdominal stretch. The other Moondog busts him open with the Bone. Triggers the DQ. Martel saves. Martel uses Garea as a dropkick machine to the clear the ring. There is nothing extraordinary here (well Martel's selling is), but it is incredibly good execution of the tag team formula that really builds to a fever pitch with the hot tag. It definitely makes you want to seem more matches between these two teams. ***3/4

WWF Heavyweight Champion Bob Backlund vs Stan Hansen - WWF 4/6/81 Two sentence I did not think I would ever write: I saw Stan Hansen's ass & Stan Hansen needed more offense. Even with that complaint, I thought this was the best match these two have ever had together. I am a huge fan of both and it is disappointing that they never really hit out of the park, but this was great. It was an all out fight. Because they went for that fight there was not much selling, which I think makes sense, but then there were times when a pro wrestling sell became overselling because they were going for that fight feel. Backlund is rocking this whole match. His punches looked great. Hansen took a bunch of cage shots. Lots of energy. Stuff like Hansen ballshotting Backlund and Backlund being back on offense soon after or Backlund ballshotting Hansen and Hansen bodyslamming Backlund soon after was a bit off putting. What I liked was there was no downtime. I thought it was cool there was no shine, no heat, no finish. It was just a fight. You will not find a bigger defender of the shine->heat->comeback->finish formula, but I think deviations like this are necessary. It was just two big strong dudes just to beat the shit out of each other. Hansen gets color and Backlund works over the cut. Good drama getting out the door and over the cage. Hansen takes two big bumps off the top rope. Backlund emphatically exits through the door to a MASSIVE pop. Unique take on pro wrestling, good energy, Hansen getting some more offense and smarter selling would have improved this, but definitely a match worth seeing and you really don't have to watch the other ones. ****

Sgt. Slaughter vs Pat Patterson - WWF 4/6/81 My review of the alley fight has the background to this match. WOW! Loved this pure babyface vs heel match. Patterson was keyed up and ready to roll. Sarge was feeling it. Sarge is running away from Patterson at every turn as Patterson is revved up. Sarge tries to catch him from behind, but Pat turns around and wallops him! This is pure WWF/AWA style babyface throwing all that heel shit right back at the heel. Sarge takes his classic nutty bump over the top turnbuckle into the post not once, not twice, but three times! Patterson chokes him, rakes the eyes and bites the hand. Boston Crab for Patterson gets a pop! MSG is rockin! Sarge throws Patterson to the outside, who takes a nasty tumble. Slaughter thinks about coming off the top rope, but thinks the wiser it. He bites Patterson's forehead. Working a decent King of the Mountain. Slaughter misses the Bombs Away Kneedrop, Patterson's own move! Figure-4 by Patterson on the bad knee! Genius! Slaughter uses the ropes again. Patterson kicking at the knee and hits it with a chair. I love it! The ref wants Patterson to break and he shoves him. Slaughter eye rakes Patterson to avoid the figure-4. Slaughter and Patterson go at it and they throw the ref out. Slaughter low blows Patterson and applies the Cobra Clutch. The ref back in and Slaughter kicks him in the gut. The whole thing gets called a Double Disqualification. Patterson is livid and almost comes to blows with Dick Whirly. Calls bullshit on it. I love how into it he is. Awesome, awesome placesetter for the big Alley FIght, just enough energy to get hyped, but not too much that they cant top it the next month. ****

The pop Backlund gets after winning the held-up title against Valentine in November of 1981 at MSG. The part where Backlund leads the fans in a proto-Yes chant puts a huge smile on my face!

IWGP Heavyweight Champion Shinsuke Nakamura vs Hirooki Goto - NJPW 4/10/2010 I wonder if Goto's career would be any different if he won the title here as opposed to Makabe winning in May. Ultimately, it looks like they were building to the returning Kojima vs Tanahashi for the Dome. Either would have been a transitional champion. Makabe was a slightly bigger name and had a more interesting gimmick. During the first half, I thought this was good wrestling, but I couldn't understand why this place #6 in Ditch's poll for 2010 in Japan and then the second half kicked in and the placement made sense. I have behind the big three NOAH matches on the year and big FUTEN matches of the year, but this was great pro wrestling. Watching this stuff, it seems like Nakamura is much better as a heel. He is a prick on the rope breaks. Then just eats a massive suplex from a pissed off Goto. He powders. Gets whipped into the railing and then Goto just throws his body at him. He pisses off the babyface and then eats a bunch of babyface offense. Good heel. He gets a kneelift and then does a great job grinding the match with a ton of interesting, violent knee strikes. Ability to work on top. Good heel. Especially since Goto is not a compelling babyface in the slightest. Goto catches a kick and powerbombs him. Elbow drop, 1-2-Cross Armbreaker. This is what I remember about Nakamura more than anything else the ability to counterwrestle really well. Goto steps on his head to break. Strike Exchange. Goto hits a neckbreaker and Nakamura really sells this. This is when the match kicks in. You get the sense Nakamura played with his food and now he might lose. Nakamura hits a Boma Ye to the back of the head. You can sense the Champion's desperation. Goes for the Boma Ye and Goto catches him. Goto uses a bunch of head drops to get nearfalls, which Nakamura sells well and plays into the injured neck. Goto SMOKES him with a lariat! Great nearfall. Goto goes for another lariat, but Nakamura hits Boma Ye to the head and as Goto tries to pick himself back up BOMA YE! I liked the story Nakamura clearly the better wrestler and champion underestimates the powerful Goto. Almost gets caught once Got injured the neck and creates some drama, but at the end of the day Nakamura has his knee like Misawa had his elbow to bail him out of trouble. ****

But Davey Boy was BIZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Let's talk about the biggest injustice fucking Edge finished higher than DiBiase, Tito & Valentine. Fuck that! Now that's something all of PWO can be unified in our anger.

GHC Heavyweight Champion Takahashi Sugiura vs Yoshihiro Takayama - NOAH 7/10/2010 Sugiura was well into his 581 day reign as champion, which seems questionable, but given the roster there was not much of a choice. This was the NOAH tenth anniversary tour and they are still in a decent sized building drawing 5000+. I loved this a lot more than expected to. Sugiura is a wrestler that usually draw apathy from me. He is undersized and hits hard. There is not much charisma from him. But at least he does hit hard. I think that adds to this match a lot. They start with a strike exchange and I eye roll. Takayama hits a dropkick to send Sugiura out the ring. I love Takayama! Wicked kneelift on the outside and then he THROWS SUGIURA DOWN ON THE TABLE! Damn! Nice baseball slide. Takayama still has it. Very similarly to the Nakamura match I just watched from 1/4/10. Takayam dominating the young champion with a brutal bruising style. I love his kneelifts. Takayama busts himself open on a headbutt. Blood is pouring from his face. Sugiura gets a human capture suplex. I could do without them trading big boots, but they are laying everything in. I thought the last five minutes were fantastic. Sugiura hits a wicked German into the turnbuckles. He finally turns the tide on the Bleach Blond Giant of Japan. Everything up to that point would sort of just phase the Big Man, this was the first time he had him reeling. Great selling from Takayama. Sugiura EARNS two more Germans, a Dragon Suplex and an Olympic Slam. Sugiura is doing a good job playing to the crowd and firing up. Takayama is selling really well. Takayama gets his big nearfalls. Backdrop driver and then his beautiful Everest German! 1-2-NO! They start punching each other in the face with closed fists. All of sudden Sugiura channels Jerry The King Lawler and unloads a can of whoop ass that had me pumping my fist. Two Olympic Slams later Sugiura retains and I am in shock that I was so excited about a Sugiura match! The last five minutes make this an easy thumbs up. I thought the first ten minutes were very good and it is always entertaining to watch Takayama beat the piss out of someone, but it was nothing special. It is the ending that makes this truly great. ****

IWGP Heavyweight Champion Shinsuke Nakamura vs Yoshihiro Takayama - NJPW 1/4/10 I was reading my review of Nakamura vs Ohtani from 2009 and I was really high on Nakamura at the time. Reading it back it sounded like a great match and Nakamura gave a great cocky heel champion performance. I claimed to get it that this is the Nakamura people know and love. You know what I will never get Nakamura and I should stop saying I do. He has had great matches and even great performances, but I don't get him. He is very mercurial that's both his gimmick and who he is. I do get Yoshihiro Takayama and is a badass. This match main evented the Dome six years prior. One of the reasons I say I don't get Nakamura is thought this was a pretty lukewarm performance from him just months after the great one against Ohtani. Takayama was his usual asskicking self. The story of the match was pretty much Takayama just kicked Nakamura's ass. Nakamura hung with him for a little while but Takayama just brutalized him into submission. He tried to give him a heart attack with repeated elbow drops. Some glorious Takayama kneelifts. I love a good kneelift and Takayama is the God King of them. Nakamura's selling is just kinda there. He gets a good knee strike to the head on a suplex attempt. Another knee to the head. I like Nakamura going for headshots. Then he goes for a juji-gatame, gets him over but cant break the clasp. Takayama then launches into an excellent suplex barrage. Backdrop driver, The old knee in the corner then Butterfly, Dragon Suplex into the ring. He looked great. Nakamura gets wristlock out of a bridge and tries for a cross armbreaker, again Takayama clasps his hands and kicks Nakamura in the head. Nakamura slides right into a knee lift. What the fuck was that? Now Takayama charges and Nakamura gets a kneelift. Boma Ye to the back of the head. I think that's the death knell for the Bleached Blond Giant of Japan. Nakamura goes for the sleeper, but Takayama drives him into the buckles. There is a big punching slugfest. Takayama has way better punches and Nakamura sells well. Nakamura whiffs on his head kicks, but gets a couple big Boma Ye Knees to win. I think Nakamura just sucks as a babyface. He is too reserved when he is in that role. Takayama was so much fun on offense. The finish didn't feel climatic. Takayama was in control and then Nakamura gets in a couple kicks to the head that don't really connect to set up the Boma Ye Knees. Just didn't feel big enough. ***1/4

John Cena is the WWE GOAT

Cena vs Braun needs to happen at Mabia!!! That match was boring as hell. Shitty layout. Elias looked like an idiot because how bad that layout was.

Angle was a great promo for so long and have been shocked how terrible he has been this past year. Finally he showed some shades of the Kurt of old.

I can't stop laughing

HHH scoop up all this heat for himself. HHH & Steph vs Angle & Rousey

Bray Wyatt is a great offensive wrestler. Always said that. More often than his matches are good. His gimmick is so toxic that I can't care about his matches, this maybe the worst main event gimmick ever. The character has ZERO motivations for his actions.

I want Sonya Deville to win because I am a huge mark for her. I think Alexa Bliss will win. I think Sasha should win aka who I would book to win. My mom wants Bayley to win.

NEVER Openweight Champion Tetsuya Naito vs Tomohiro Ishii - NJPW 2/11/14 First fifteen minutes: The story seem to be going for here is that more agile Naito trying to play Ishii's game and winning. At first he does not fare too well and a dropkick gives Naito his first advantage. The crowd is booing Naito hard and they love Ishii as the underdog. Naito is suffering the backlash pushed WWE babyfaces usually face. Naito regains advantage by headbutting Ishii into submission. I get you want to prove Naito is tough, but he does not look tough and it comes across as an inauthentic story. Naito flying around with dropkicks and splashes looked way better than going toe to toe with Ishii and winning. Ishii had some great offense as usual, delayed superplex and powerbomb looked great. Ishii is the master of selling the back of the neck. Naito gets a firm advantage with a German and Ishii does a great job selling it. Naito fucks up a Top Rope Frankensteiner. He is a lackluster performer. Just not a lot of presence. Ishii is carrying this. Another great German from Naito. Ishii lariats him out of his boots, but they go back to the stand up strike exchange and Naito wins again. I get the story. I just don't believe in the story. Last ten minutes: Welp that was a lot of strike exchanges. Yeah. Naito misses a Stardust press. The crowd goes bonkers! Ishii hits a MASSIVE SUPERPLEX! Huge pop! 1-2-NO! That should have been the finish. Naito Kappo Kick->Dragon Suplex gets two. Hey another strike exchange that's exactly what this match needs. Naito headbutts Ishii hard. I mean real hard. Ishii kicks him back of the head. BRAINBUSTAHHHHHHH and Ishii wins and the crowd is pumped. I guess you can say Naito played Ishii game and that's why he lost, but they kinda dropped the ball there at the end to really drive it him. That Stardust Press miss->Superplex was a molten sequence. Ishii is the King of the Superplex. Overwrought at times, but still hot as hell down the stretch. ***1/2

NEVER Openweight Champion Tomohiro Ishii vs Hirooki Goto - NJPW Power Struggle 11/8/14 It is funny I cant explain it but Ishii looks like a great midcarder. Like an Arn Anderson. Ishii is going to rock the midcard and give reliable performances. You aren't disappointed when he doesn't crack the main event or loses a big match because he is a compelling midcarder. Yet someone like Hirooki Goto is looked at as a disappointment. Even in this match, I thought Ishii was a definitively better wrestler. Better offense, better selling, better at getting over the bigger moments. But I am not disappointed in Ishii not making the main event. I am disappointed in Goto. It is weird. I cant articulate why that is. As far as the "let me stand here and let you hit me" matches, this is probably the best of that genre. There is a moment in the beginning where Goto was taking punishment but starts to hulk up and Ishii does a fantastic job getting over the concern that Goto is hulking up and then when Goto blasts him with a chop or lariat (forget which at this point) Ishii sells it so damn well. That's what I meant earlier about Ishii being better at getting over those big moments. Ishii's offense looked damn good. Two of the best superplexes I have ever seen. Just the perfect amount of delay to really make them feel grand. At the end of this was two midcarders doing Hashimoto vs Choshu. Hashimoto and Choshu earn the right to do that match. The defiance, the lariats, machismo. I like watching two dudes hit each other really hard too, but it is disposable if you don't have the gravitas of Hashimoto and Choshu. Those lariats were ferocious. There were some INSANE headbutts. The penultimate lariat Ishii hits should have been the finish. I thought he caved in Goto's chest. BRAINBUSTAHHHH takes it for Ishii. These are big, dumb, fun matches but ultimately they have no staying power and there is nothing wrong with that. That's why the midcard exists. ***3/4

Damnit, I didn't realize there was a February match. GHC Heavyweight Champion Katsuhiko Nakajima vs Minoru Suzuki - NOAH 12/2/16 This was during the period where NOAH was a satellite promotion of New Japan where NJPW sent Suzuki & Suzuki-gun to NOAH and NOAH sent Marufuji and Nakajima for the G1. Nakajima is the champ and this is a One Night Cruise in Korauken Hall. I love Japanese event names. I had high expectations for this match while I thought this was great, I didn't come away thinking this was a match of the year contender. There were a lot of strike exchanges while it was finally paid off with Suzuki punching himself out and Nakajima going all Misawa on his ass. There were just too many. I enjoyed Suzuki's leg work but I had no illusions that it would be meaningful. I love Nakajima but his bread and butter is his kicks. I always like a good chair shot to the knee though. I thought the transitions in the match were lacking. People were not missing moves rather people were just saying it is my turn now. Nakajima kicks Suzuk a bunch and then sleeper and brainbuster. I liked the use of the sleeper to setup offense. More people should do that. Nakajima kicks Suzuki's head off and it is sold as such. Then Suzuki dropkicks him out of nowhere. Great dropkick but it felt wrong. Suzuki uses the sleeper to try to set up the piledriver, but it didn't work. Nakajima dropkicks now. Then Suzuki shoves the ref into Nakajima. At this point the match goes from solid hard hitting into wrestling and taking it next level with good storytelling. Suzuki punches Nakajima in the face while the ref is discombobulated. He calls for the troops, but no one comes out. Nakajima recovers. Now here comes that strike exchange I referenced earlier with Suzuki punching himself out. Great selling from Suzuki and then Nakajima lights him up like he is the Second Coming of Misawa. Great elbow combinations and then Roaring Elbows. Nice German, finishing combination is kick his head off and then the Brainbuster for the win. I thought the body of the match was entertaining but didn't really have a hook. Nakajima was not really proving himself to Suzuki. Suzuki worked a body part but there was not much drama. There were a lot of strike exchanges. The finish run is very strong and tells a great story of Nakajima rising to the occasion to defeat a legend of pro wrestling. ****