GSR

Roadkill continues to remain over way more than you would expect given he and Doring’s position on the card. You can sense the ‘stand off’ coming and they don’t disappoint. Talking about not disappointing, after Matthews tags in and the crowd start chanting for Roadkill, Doring is happy to oblige and give them what they want. ‘Lancaster Lariat of Lust’ for a two. York and Matthews make a blind tag and hit the ‘Future Shock’ on Doring. The double clothesline has no effect on Roadkill as he just walks through it, but a double dropkick takes him off his feet and he joins his partner on the outside. Great stereo suicide dives. Back in the ring Doring ducks the double clothesline and slides to the floor, under Roadkill, who comes off the top rope with a double clothesline off his own. He’s more and more playing to the crowd after a hot move, a la Rob Van Dam, which is not a good sign. Doring gets crotched upstairs and Matthews with a top rope huracanrana for a near fall. He counters an Irish whip with the ‘G-Spot Sweep’ (I’m getting good at these now) and makes the hot tag. Roadkill runs through York and Matthews finishing up with a big ‘Stinger splash’ in the corner onto both. ‘Bareback’ on Matthews and as a groggy Christian York staggers around, he’s easy pickings for the ‘Buggy Back’. There’s a rather patronising round of applause from Doring and Roadkill for the opposition, before all four raise each other’s arms. York and Matthews leave the winners to it, but they’re then jumped by the FBI and left lying courtesy of a couple of Big Sal ‘Bonzai splashes’ as it looks like Doring and Roadkill are the next challengers for the tag team champions.

Joey Styles welcomes us to Extreme Championship Wrestling when he and Joel Gertner are interrupted by Cyrus, not before another of Gertner’s smutty little poems though. The ‘Quintessential Studmuffin’ removes his neck brace, ready for a fight, as Cyrus claims that the show is now cancelled and there is no more ECW on this network. He notices what Gertner has done and wonders if he wants to fight the Network, but says that just like all these pieces of New York crap he doesn’t have the guts. Cyrus is strongly emphasising New York and how he doesn’t think a New Yorker can stand up to the Network, which is the signal for Paul Heyman to make an appearance and he breaks his clunky mobile phone over Cyrus’ head. Rhino is out to save face for the Network, puts Heyman over his shoulder and drives him through a table which had been placed in the corner by Cyrus and dodgy referee Danny Daniels. Cyrus goes back to insulting all the fans, calling them “pieces of New York crap” and challenging anyone to get in there with he and Rhino. It looks like some fan gets part way in when he’s stopped by security and the police. As one of the cops is trying to restrain this fan he’s gored by Rhino who then starts throwing punches at him. The entire locker room has emptied in an attempt to calm the situation but that just leads to them fighting each other. A TV title match is scheduled and rather than waiting for the ring to clear, Kash makes his entrance, gets body surfed from the top turnbuckle to Rhino and the two start swinging before getting lost in amongst the masses. ‘Enter Sandman’ kicks in and conveniently at this point the ring does begin to empty. Styles talks about Sandman wanting a piece of the World Television champion, although he’s clearly not that desperate to get his hands on him as he stops off for a drink beforehand, Rhino left stood waiting for his arrival. Sandman breaks a cane over Rhino’s head but that hardly phases him and as the Sandman turns to the crowd to celebrate, he’s gored. Rhino follows Sandman to the outside where the roster are lingering and Kash with an almighty springboard flip dive onto everyone who tumble like falling cards. That was a great visual. Double jump springboard huracanrana doesn’t have the impact Kash had hoped for and he’s next to be gored. With Rhino standing tall here comes Rob Van Dam to try his luck. ‘Van Daminator’, ‘Van Terminator’, he then drags Rhino to the middle of the ring and comes off the top turnbuckle with a ‘Five Star frog splash’ while at the same time from the opposite one Kash lands a legdrop. All that is enough to put the ‘Manbeast’ away and we have ourselves a new TV champion. Is this even a match? The kind of thing that only ECW could get away with and it feels like more of an elaborate angle. The crowd baiting and the ‘fan’ trying to attack Rhino came across as legit, that is until Rhino attacked the policeman! Notice how despite this no other security or police came to take him away. The finish doesn’t put Kash in the strongest of lights either, needing help from both Sandman and RVD, the latter doing the majority of the damage, to get the win.

A good seven and a half minutes after his entrance began, some five cans of beer later, most of which did end up down the throats of fans to be fair, the Sandman finally steps into the ring. If the introductions hadn’t started when they did there is every chance he could still be doing that entrance now as he seemed in less of a hurry than usual. I spoke too soon, the fans are already chanting for tables so he steps out to get one and throws it into the ring. Da Baldies immediately toss it to the floor which leads to the Sandman disappearing to the back and returning with a ladder which he sits upon. Over ten minutes have now passed and no action. Chilly and Angel open with some actual wrestling, which lasts longer than expected, until the tags are made to their respective partners. DeVito is in the face of Sandman yelling “WTF do you want?” which results in Sandman open handing him hard across the jaw. That’s the sign for things to move up a notch. In the surrealist of moments Sandman sits on a rear chinlock while the crowd chant “fuck him Sandman fuck him up”, anyone else even attempting that would be getting booed out the building but he can get away with it. Chilly with a pair of clotheslines followed by the Iceman Parson flying butt attack. He’s not paying attention though and gets clocked from behind by Angel who then distracts referee Loc so DeVito can choke Willy with the tag rope. Willy catches DeVito with a powerslam and then makes the hot tag to Sandman. A ‘Drunkensteiner’ on Angel at which point the match takes the route you expected going in. Chilly throws DeVito over the guard rail into the crowd, while Sandman suplexes Angel onto an upright ladder, snapping it in half. Da Baldies swipe their opponents’ Singapore canes but can only get a couple of shots in before stereo low blows stop them in their tracks. Sandman with a Russian legsweep on Angel, Chilly with a Falcon Arrow on DeVito and as he makes the cover Sandman piles on for added weight to prevent the kick out. Post-match Rhino is out and puts Sandman and Willy through a table which had been propped up in the corner and then calls out Rob Van Dam for costing him the Television title as this segues into the next match. I remember seeing Chilly Willy in OVW and it turns out he got a developmental deal with the WWE after he’d finished military duty. Call me a cynic but I imagine it was one of those deals where they saw someone who was a forces vet and wanted to piggyback and promote that side of him. It never amounted to anything anyway as he was cut after just twelve months. The match itself didn’t go as expected with the opening wresting and then the weird Sandman rear chinlock that the crowd didn’t shit on. Eventually the brawling began and another match on this card that isn’t bad, but is hardly memorable either (six-man tag aside).

I’ll never understand how Danny Doring got so over, Roadkill I can see, not the ‘Dastardly’ one. An eager Tony Mamaluke wants in against the ‘Angry Amish Chicken Plucker’ although will have to quickly re-evaluate as trying a shoulder tackle against a 300lb’er isn’t the wisest of moves. He reverses the hammerlock, side headlock, but Roadkill just picks him up and dumps him over the top rope onto Big Sal. Mamaluke ducks under the clothesline before catching Roadkill with a springboard tornado DDT. Tag to Guido and a double snapmare followed by a pair of basement dropkicks to either side of Roadkill’s head. The running crossbody was every bit as bad of an idea as Mamaluke’s shoulder tackle, here Roadkill catching Guido and slamming him to the mat. ‘Dirt Road slam’ and when Mamaluke rushes in he gets pressed skywards and dropped. Guido tries to escape but Doring quickly rolls him back inside. Big Sal is up on the apron and Guido reverses the Irish whip sending Doring crashing into that ample sized back of his, turning the match in the FBI’s direction. Side Italian legsweep/powerbomb off the middle for a two. Guido throws Doring to the floor before causing the distraction so that Sal can whip him into the metal guard rail and then splash him up against it. Doring blocks the ‘Kiss of Death’ and hits a double underhook implant DDT. That does have one of those ridiculous names but without Joey Styles’ help I can’t remember which one it is. Hot tag to Roadkill who just runs through Guido and Mamaluke. Double flying lariat from the top rope. Doring drops the ‘Danaconda’ after a ‘Bareback’ and as it looks like we’ve got new tag team champions Sal pulls the referee from the ring to break up the count. The ‘Dastardly One’ goes after him, but in the immediate confusion that follows Mamaluke clocks Roadkill with one of the title belts and the official turns around to see Guido making the cover as the FBI retain the gold. No connection there for me in what was a run of the mill house show tag match. It wasn’t helped by the fact did I not once think the champions were in any danger of losing. Match #1000 watched and reviewed by the way, the end is in sight!

We join this at the end of a match between C.W. Anderson and Jerry Lynn, dodgy Danny Daniels having cost Lynn the victory. Simon & Swinger celebrate the win with C.W. before putting the boots to Lynn as they look to collect the bounty that has been put on his head by the World champion. This all segues into an unscheduled, according to Joey Styles, three way tag, the team of Nova and Chris Chetti arriving on the scene later than everyone else. The match itself is just a series of spots one followed by the next. Chetti gives Swinger the ‘Amityville Horror’ onto a chair, ‘Swanton’ by Nova, but Chetti then turns on his partner, blasting him in the head with that chair. As he makes his way back to the dressing room, Simon the opportunist covers Nova for the first elimination. As Simon and Swinger Celebrate, Roadkill with a clothesline from the top rope. ‘Swing Thing’, ‘Bareback’, ‘Simonizer’, ‘Lancaster Lariat of Lust’ it’s still nothing but spots until a Doring ‘Buggy Bang’ gives Roadkill and he the win. Notable I suppose for the Chetti turn which came out of nowhere. All incredibly rushed, like Paul E. had five minutes he couldn’t fill on the TV show so sent these out to fill it while telling them to get a Chetti heel turn in there too.

Another day and Simon, Swinger and C.W. have another problem. Oh, it’s the same problem he had yesterday in that he’s still not over the World Tag Team tournament. The set up here is the same as what we saw in Cleveland last night, right down to Mikey putting on Simon’s robe which he steals, to the Sinister Minister calling the three of them “Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Da-Fuck”, only difference being Mikey’s partners turn out to be Chilly Willy and Balls Mahoney. The match follows a similar pattern, C.W. and Chilly being the ones in the ring while everyone else battles it out on the floor. ‘Swing Thing’ on Mikey, at which point Swinger starts shaking his stuff like he’s Jimmy Garvin. He catches the kick but an enziguiri knocks him silly. Mikey ties Swinger in the ‘Tree of Woe’ and the Minister and his testicular claw are back. Chilly misses a legdrop off the top following a Balls powerslam and C.W. with a superkick as Willy replaces Tommy Dreamer as the one the heels get the heat on. Combination side slam/reverse DDT for a two count. The Irish whip is reversed and a sit out spinebuster by Chilly before making the hot tag to both his partners. A pier sixer ensues as Balls orchestrates the crowd in getting a “Balls, Mikey, Chilly” chant going as they alternate throwing jabs at their opponents. Iceman Parson flying butt attack! C.W. decks Chilly with a straight left but is dropped by a Balls superkick. The spinebuster is fast becoming an overused move and we get our fourth of the match, this time from C.W. on Balls. ‘Problem Solver’ on Mikey is broken up, the heels get whipped into one another and the faces hit their respective finishers as all three men do the job again.

Oh Elektra is in Cleveland then, just seconding ‘Confederate Currency’ rather than Mr Money. This ECW crowd will wolf whistle and go giddy for any female showing some flesh no matter how rough and skanky that woman, or Elektra, may be. In her Southern drawl she turns to RF and says “we’re taking that belt home because Mommy wants champagne and we’re fabulous”. If you say so love. We’ve seen plenty of ‘stand offs’ this year but the one here between Kash and Hamrick felt different, more natural and less choreographed. As an example in the leg trip/cover spot there was actually some force behind the trip, not just a flimsy tap of the ankle or the wrestler looking like he was falling backward of his own accord. A dropkick sends Hamrick to the outside where Kash launches himself at him with a slingshot plancha. Springboard lariat and as Kash makes the cover Elektra gets up on the apron shouting “ref, ref” at official H.C. Loc. Rather than do his job he stops his count to go and speak with her as she starts flirting with him. The “show your tits” chants she was receiving earlier in the match have turned into “she’s a crack whore”. Kash is next to be somehow mesmerized by her non-beauty, and as he is, Hamrick nails him from behind. A great flying elbow drop for a two count. The chants get even more disgusting towards Elektra, the audience now wanting to see her “beaver”. Hamrick telegraphs a backdrop and Kash with what looks like a double jump double axe handle. It’s not long before Hamrick is back in charge though after Kash runs into an elbow. Elektra is badly out of position for her interference, probably distracted by the non-stop crass chants she’s been on the end of. The match goes one way and then the other from here until Hamrick misses on the top rope legdrop. Kash with the ‘Money Maker’ (which gets the best response of anything in the match) and he picks up the win. The crowd were completely obnoxious throughout, more interested in making derogatory chants at Elektra than anything the men were doing. A back and forth match that would’ve played better in front of a more respectful audience.

No Julio Dinero, ‘Confederate Currency’ or Elektra in Money’s corner this evening. E.Z. spots Balls’ chair and tells the crowd that nobodies hitting him with that tonight. Balls blocks the hip toss and comes back with one of his own followed by a nice arm drag. After being dropped by a right hand he manages to avoid a charging Balls who goes careering over the top rope to the outside. E.Z. follows him to the floor, busting him open with the time keeper’s bell, before tossing him back inside. ‘Money Clip’ for a two count. Balls reverses the Irish whip and catches E.Z. with a powerslam. He fails to connect on the ‘New Jersey Jam’ leg drop and Money floors him with a superkick. E.Z. lands the moonsault however that’s not enough to put his opponent away. There’s a cool set up for ‘Money in the Bank’ but E.Z. can’t hold Balls’ weight and they fall into the ropes. What else would you expect from an ECW crowd after that except “you fucked up!” Balls ducks a punch and goes back to throwing jabs that they can join in with. Sit out spinebuster for a near fall. He heads up top but is caught by Money and it sounds like the ring damn near breaks on the superplex. Balls with a float over, ‘Nutcracker Suite’ and that’s all she wrote. This was alright although I’m not seeing what everyone else is and there were a couple of blown spots in there, one pretty bad. You expect Balls to juice whilst doing the hardcore stuff but not in a random house show match against E.Z. Money.

After the introductions we cut to a nightclub to see Elektra celebrating her teams win with some equally as sleazy looking women. Did we have to? Some great ground wrestling between Tajiri and Guido that ends with a standoff to chants of “E-C-Dub”. Tajiri catches the Guido running crossbody, but he’s able to transition it to a Fujiwara armbar forcing ‘the Japanese Buzzsaw’ to go to the ropes. Mamaluke is in, he hammerlocks that arm behind Tajiri’s back and dumps him on it with an overhead suplex. The Irish whip is reversed, Tajiri ducks the clothesline and floors Mamaluke with this awesome kick to the head. He drops him across his own knee and Mikey with a slingshot guillotine elbow drop. Tajiri and Mikey work the double team including a high stomachbreaker and stereo shotgun dropkicks to either side of Mamaluke’s head. Guido does try to help his partner out but ends up receiving similar treatment. Mamaluke is still showing the effects as he staggers about on the outside where the Sinister Minister jabs him with his cane. Mikey with an O’Connor roll, however he misses the blind tag and Guido dropkicks him in the face to break up the pin. Combination side Italian (jeez Joey) legsweep off the middle/powerbomb by the FBI. Tornado DDT for a near fall. Mikey reverses the ‘Kiss of Death’ and hits a ‘Whippersnapper’ before making the hot tag to Tajiri who just destroys the FBI with even more kicks. He locks Guido in the Tarantula but leaves himself open and Mamaluke cracks him in the ribs. After heading up top, Mikey swipes a leg out and lands a ‘super Whippersnapper’. Tajiri with another dropkick flush to the face, he then keeps Guido at bay as Mikey makes the cover and the pair of them move on in the tournament. A real crowd pleaser of a match, one in which they crammed an awful lot into a short space of time. No-one sells Tajiri’s kicks like Tony Mamaluke and he and Mikey continue to add the double teams to their repertoire. It’s strange that this first round match aired on Hardcore TV after the semis had already aired on the TNN show; you would’ve thought they would’ve shown everything in order. This was a tremendously fun match and maybe partly explains why the crowd were dead for that Doring/Roadkill tag, they were just exhausted by that point.

I don’t like Hot Commodity coming out to this generic WWE Network music, although I suppose that applies to every ECW act. They jump York & Matthews before the bell but don’t make the most of the sneak attack. Double hip toss powerbomb, from here on known as ‘Future Shock’, on Dinero and a double clothesline sends Money over the top rope to the outside. Dinero had already ducked out himself and avoids the York baseball slide. He calls York on and when he runs at him, backdrops him into the ropes only to get caught with a headscissors takedown on the floor. A staple Christian York spot from the Indies. York ducks the Money clothesline and Matthews with a plancha from the top turnbuckle. Back inside Dinero reverses the Irish whip and looks to throw York back to the outside, but ends up giving him an assist as he flies into Money with the suicide dive. That one’s a Joey Matthews staple from the Indies! As he climbs up onto the apron, Money and Elektra pull his legs out from under him sending him crashing head first into it. ‘Money Clip’ (somersault slingshot clothesline) followed by a standing moonsault for a two. Double wheelbarrow by Hot Commodity, however Dinero delays in making the cover and Matthews kicks out. He fails to connect on the moonsault and Matthews hot tags to York. Dinero gets crotched upstairs before York pancakes Money to the mat. Matthews and York go for their finisher, but it looks like Dinero loses his balance and Joey has to cover the situation, turning what started out as a top rope frankensteiner into a DDT. Referee H.C. Loc is otherwise engaged, doesn’t see the York lateral press and ultimately doesn’t see the Chris Hamrick leg drop off the top to break up that pin. Hamrick puts Dinero on top and Loc turns around as Hot Commodity steal the victory. It’s cool seeing all these spots that York and Matthews had honed and practiced on the Maryland Indy scene being played to a national audience and the crowd going wild for them. The kinda match that is an ideal show opener, although a shame Dinero screwed up that top rope rana for Matthews. I’m at a bit of a loss at what he brings to Hot Commodity, almost as if he was put with them because Heyman couldn’t think of anything else to do with him.

This semi-final is joined in progress and we arrive just as Dreamer whips Rhino into the guard rail, while Credible and Lynn go at it in another part of the Hammerstein Ballroom. After Dreamer launches a garbage can full of rubbish into Rhino’s head, Cyrus says that based on the bracketing he’s confident that the winners of this match will be the next ECW tag team champions. Dreamer takes a short drop over the balcony and the crowd who were dead for the last match are into this. They head back towards the ring, Dreamer nailing Rhino with a fan’s replica belt on the way. Tornado DDT by Lynn on Credible but Francine is upon the apron distracting referee Jim Molyneux. Lynn snatches her, puts her over his knee and spanks her bare ass. As he’s about to give her the cradle piledriver he’s nailed by a Credible superkick. Dreamer with a DDT on Credible, however as he turns around he walks straight into a gore. Rhino piledrives him through the replacement ring announcer’s table when out comes Spike Dudley. Spike breaks a Singapore cane over Rhino’s head and then gives him the ‘Acid Drop’, but in turn falls victim to ‘That’s Incredible’. Credible and Lynn exchange reversals before Lynn gets the three count following the cradle piledriver. Not only do he and Dreamer join Simon & Swinger in the finals, equally as important in doing so, he has just scored a pinfall over the current ECW World champion. We then see Dreamer still laid out after the piledriver and the question is raised as to whether he will be even able to make it to the final. A hot short match that encompasses what ECW is about in a nutshell.

The semi-finals of the World tag team title tournament. Joey Styles says how Simon & Swinger were considered a comedy act until they aligned themselves with C.W. Anderson (who is out seconding them). ‘Panty Drop’ elbow on Diamond who then rolls to the outside to join his partner who had been despatched there earlier. Roadkill gets down on all fours and Doring vaults off his back out over the top onto the three of them, surprisingly that one hasn’t got a ridiculous name like most of Doring’s offense. ‘Lancaster Lariat of Lust’ or the old Hart Foundation finisher, but the official misses the cover as he’s too busy trying to get Roadkill back onto the apron. Swinger reverses the Irish whip and Anderson trips Doring and pulls him out to the floor. Although he is able to fight off C.W. and Simon, he’s caught by the Swinger baseball slide. Cobra clutch Russian legsweep aka ‘the Swing Thing’ followed by a double flatliner for a two. This is getting no reaction from the crowd who’re sat there with their arms folded. Doring ducks the double clothesline and hits a double ‘bareback’. There’s a bit of a reaction to the hot tag, but not much. Roadkill plants Simon with a ‘Dirt Road slam’ and just a bog standard side slam for Swinger. Doring drops ‘the Danaconda’ (top tope legdrop) and as Roadkill ascends the opposite corner Swinger gives him a shove and he falls through the time keepers table at ringside. As the official checks on Roadkill, C.W. is in but ends up accidentally decking Simon. Doring looks for the ‘Wham, Bam, Thank You Mam’ when Diamond stomps on his foot and then kicks him low. C.W. assists on ‘the Problem Solver’ and Swinger is in to make the cover as he and Simon advance to the final. I’m struggling to think of any move that has a worse name than the five Danny Doring ones in my write up, and he didn’t even do the ‘G-Spot sweep’ or the ‘Buddy whatever it’s called’ tonight! A flat match with a disinterested crowd, Roadkill got a bit of a response on his hot tag but not as much as he usually gets. I would’ve expected Simon & Swinger to have been first round eliminations so surprising to see them go this deep in the tournament.

Essa sticks a back flip off the top and as he lands Eddy immediately dropkicks him in the leg. From here he focuses all his efforts on his opponent’s knee as he looks to neutralize his aerial advantage and keep him grounded. Some nice and effective elbows to the knee in there that I liked. Eddy sits him on the top turnbuckle but Essa grabs hold of the top rope to block the frankensteiner. He then badly botches the leaping rana though as it looks more like Eddy powerbombed him to counter it (which I don’t think he did). In all seriousness, considering he had his leg worked over he shouldn’t have been able to execute the move cleanly, but that’s me thinking deeper than most who are watching. Essa recovers first, body slam, followed by the most graceful of moonsaults after hopping up the turnbuckles to continue selling that knee. Eddy is able to get his knees up mind and a rolling cradle gets him the three.

Jonny Storm insists on being introduced as “the best damn wrestler this country has ever produced” which is stretching the truth and then stretching it some more. There’s a real ‘British’ feel to this with the ring announcer telling all the youngsters to stop running about and kicking cans around! Storm threatens to go back to the dressing room unless he gets complete silence although it’s all talk, like when has anyone ever actually gone through with that threat? A lightning quick opening and after a Jodie Japanese arm drag Jonny is out to the floor. He tries to catch Fleisch by surprise but runs into a drop toe hold. Springboard moonsault bodyblock doesn’t even get a one count, Jonny kicking out before the old boy reffing can get down. Storm cranks on a side headlock, Jodie shoots him off and there’s a slight miscommunication as Jonny forgets to duck under the leap frog. That could’ve been painful but Jodie doesn’t miss a beat as he comes down on Jonny and unloads with punches. A Jonny low blow swings the match in his direction and he gets a two count after a powerbomb. Christ, this chap has got to be one of the slowest counting ref’s out there. Now he’s physically involving himself with the wrestlers, pulling Jonny away as he jams his foot into Jodie’s throat. Storm with an abdominal stretch straight out the IRS rope grabbing playbook. The official does eventually catch him, kicks his arm away and Jodie flips him over. Split legged moonsault. Fleisch whips Storm to the opposite corner only to run into a big boot. A flying clothesline turns Jodie inside out and Jonny picks up another two following a torture rack dropped into a neckbreaker. He ties Jodie in the ropes, picking up a public warning in the process, but unbeknownst to him, Fleisch manages to free himself. As Jonny then charges, Jodie back drops him over the top rope to the concrete with Storm taking a pretty crazy looking spill. Jodie repeatedly slams Jonny’s head into a wooden table, the ring announcer counting along over the house mic as he does so. Back inside and Jonny ducks under the clothesline and lands a bulldog. He holds on after the Alabama slam and transitions to a Boston crab, just like earlier again grabbing the ropes for additional leverage. One member of the crowd has seen enough, coming right up to the ring to tell the ref what he’s doing. It’s still real to him damn it! Quesadora bulldog by Fleisch. A spin kick drops Jonny and Jodie with what would later become a trademark of his opponent, the ‘rewind Storm insider’. Springboard 720 DDT only gets a near fall. Storm avoids the moonsault off the middle, whips Jodie chest first into the turnbuckles and then pancakes him to the mat to finally get the three, although once more using the ropes to do so. The first encounter of a match that we will see numerous times over the course of the decade between two trailblazers of the UK scene. I’ll get the negatives out the way, firstly the referee flat out sucked; he’s some old dude who takes too long to get to the mat to count the falls and then his counts are ridiculously slow, properly taking something away from the action for me. I also didn’t care for the ring announcer saying “two” over the microphone on every two count. There was a real old school feel to this (in terms of location, crowd, public warning etc., certainly not the move set mind!) and I’m sure I’ve read posts from Ricky Knight (owner of WAW) how fans still do believe it’s real there, and you got that vibe especially when the one member of the audience is trying to tell the ref about Storm’s cheating. Certainly by the time these two do their tour of the US they could work together with their eyes closed, but here they’re still testing stuff out and putting things together. It was also very interesting to see Fleisch do the ‘Storm insider’ and that the springboard 720 wasn’t the finish. Storm’s heeling and working the crowd was a huge plus and if you think this is good, it only improves from here.

The returning Ian Rotten is being managed by Dave Prazak and goes on to give a legitimately funny promo, hurling offensive insults and one liners at the audience. When some of them start to cheer for him he tells them not to because they’re the reason he got fired in the first place; sitting on their hands while he was bleeding his guts out leading management to think he wasn’t over any more. He even goes on to steal Puppet’s line from the King of the Death match tournament, saying how all the men want to be him and all the women want to be with him. After Dino makes his entrance he gives him the opportunity to lay the MAW belt aside, go home and have a happy thanksgiving with his mother. The crowd start chanting “fat fuck” at Ian, whose response is to start flexing his ‘muscles’ at them. Of course Dino didn’t leave and Ian goes full on Tracey Smothers complaining of non-existent hair pulls and pulling of the tights as Dino gets the better of the opening exchanges. When the official gets between the pair to separate them, Ian with a cheap shot poke to the eyes and he immediately then ramps up the aggression and intensity. For some reason the numpties in the audience are chanting “boring, boring” so Ian, sort of, struts about like a long forgotten Fargo. Prazak passes him a chair which he holds above his head as if he’s about to brain Bambino, but drops it to the mat and slugs him instead. He brings out a barbed wire baseball bat and, sheesh, powerbombs Dino hard onto it. I thought he was going to tease them again, I wasn’t expecting him to actually do it! Bambino crawls to the outside and you can see the puncture wounds on his back from landing on the bat. A skull crushing chair shot follows, the chair bending over Dino’s head. Fuck, he gives him a second and those “boring” chants have long disappeared. Some of the fans are straight up concerned about the beating Bambino’s taking as they ask “are you okay?” Probably not! Dino tries to fire back but Ian blocks a shot and forearms him across the chops. Ian powerbombs Dino onto a table that doesn’t break so he ends up splashing him through it. Bambino is a bloody mess by this point. They return to the ring, Dino ducks a lariat and hits a reverse DDT. Lionsault, however the referee is woefully out of position as he makes the cover giving Ian additional time to kick out. Dino’s not impressed so clotheslines the official but gets caught with a release German suplex. MAW owner Carmine DeSpirito takes the place of the referee only to receive similar treatment when Ian gives him a double arm DDT (both inside and outside the ring) thinking that he was deliberately slow counting his pin attempt. ‘Burning Hammer’ on Bambino that looked more brutal than either of those chair shots with the way he landed on his head. Some old boy replaces DeSpirito in the black and white and Dino with a crucifix take down as he gets the three to retain the MAW title. Post-match Ian thinks he was screwed and got a shoulder up, so challenges Bambino to a rematch on 12/23 in a barbed wire tables match where, if he doesn’t win, he will never come back to West Allis again. Masterful stuff from Ian at the beginning the way he was going at it with the crowd and generating some real heat with his one liners and insults. I really enjoyed the opening of this too, Ian trying to hang on the mat, complaining about everything under the sun when he couldn’t and then first opportunity, cheap shot and the beating begins. Bambino took some serious punishment here with the powerbomb onto the baseball bat, two vicious chair shots, the powerbomb onto the unbreakable table and finally the ‘Burning Hammer’. Not sure that two ref bumps at the finish was necessary, but this was thirty five minutes that flew by.

Despite Pondo’s best efforts to insult the fans they’re still cheering for him. The match starts with the staple gun placed in the middle of the ring and both men on opposite sides of the arena/gym, when the bell rings they sprint to the ring to grab it and the first person who does so can use it as a weapon against their opponent. Clever stuff from Pondo who opts to collect his ‘Stop’ sign first rather than go for the staple gun. He uses that to wallop Page over the head with and when he drops the staple gun, picks it up himself. The next few minutes are spent with them just taking it in turns to staple dollar bills to each other until Pondo pulls out the scissors and carves them across Page’s forehead. Page falls to the floor and the lone camera struggles to follow the action as fans obscure the view. You do hear someone say “you said wrestling was fake” so they’re putting on a convincing show. A couple of chairs are thrown into the ring and the wrestlers follow in after them. Pondo sits Page on one of them, climbs to the top and then wipes him out with a cannonball. ‘Mean’ Mitch kicks out of the cover so the Madman goes for it again, this time though Page moves and he flattens the chair. He drops a leg on his opponent but Pondo clearly hasn’t had anything to eat recently as starts trying to bite a chunk out of it. The fight returns to the floor where we again lose the wrestlers as it looks like they head out of the doors at the back of the building. Back inside and Pondo kicks out of the cover after a top rope splash. Page then buries him under some chairs and comes off the middle with a ‘Vader bomb’ for the win. Well the worm didn’t turn after the CZW match on 10/7 and normal service is resumed with Pondo. A below average ‘death match’ match featuring my two least favourite death match workers.

Unlike the match in the FWA that these teams had last month there is no nervous, cautious opening. The Bad Crew don’t even wait to be hooked up to Da Hit Squad, swinging the moment they enter the ring. They make the most of the chain, wrapping it around their fists to pummel DHS before then whipping them with it. Mafia is already busted open by the time the Crew finally attach themselves to the dog collar. One member of the Crew and Monsta Mack end up at ringside and the video camera cuts between them and what is happening in the ring so it’s a bit tricky to keep up with everything that’s going on. Mafia uses the chain to low blow Crew #1, while Mack launches a chair at his partner on the floor. The two of them continue to go at it, fighting all the way into an actual bar, Mack using it as an opportunity to take on some refreshments. They eventually return to the ring, but the moment they do Mafia and Crew #1 take their place on the outside. Mack wedges a chair between the top turnbuckles, however Crew #2 reverses the whip to the corner sending Mack crashing head first into it. He releases himself from the dog collar and stiffs Mack with a chair shot before collecting a table from under the ring. Crew #1 does the same and I’m wondering why they even bothered with the dog collars! ‘Bad Lands’ on Mack and as it looks like they’ve got this in the bag they’re jumped by the Backseat Boyz. R.C. wants someone to “get these two faggots out of the ring”. Is it any wonder the crowd reacts to them as they do when this is what they hear on the tapes of the shows? The BSB lay one of the Crew onto the table and a low blow on the other allows Mafia to powerbomb him onto his partner and through the table as DHS grab the win. A chaotic, crazy, wild brawl, one that was a far cry and much better than the FWA dog collar match from a month earlier.

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The main event of ‘Return of the Monster’ and it’s to crown the first ever Pittsburgh Freeweight champion. We’re reminded that Quack excels in three way dances and is in fact the three way World champion, something I do vaguely remember being mentioned earlier in the year. A pre-match coin toss means Reckless sits out the first five minutes and while the wrestling between Quack and Montoya is strong, it’s clear that we’re just treading water waiting for his arrival. Well five minutes have passed and still no sign of Reckless. A satellite headscissors by Quack sends Montoya to the floor and finally, after eight minutes, comes Reckless Youth who’s first offensive move is a great springboard arm drag. The pace has taken a noticeable upsurge and after a series of arm drags we get something called ‘the Mitch kick’, a Steel City tradition apparently, but something that I remember from the early Chikara shows and looks hokey as anything. Quack and Reckless show some good teamwork although after a pair of somersault sentons on the Don, Reckless breaks up a Quack cover. AAARGH, I’ll never get used to or not complain about that trope. Combination Boston crab/camel clutch, Quack letting go of the crab to dropkick Montoya in the face. Don takes to the outside again as Reckless and Quack are forced to go at it with each other. After a reverse neck snap Montoya is back, nailing Reckless as he plays to the fans. Corkscrew leg drop by Don and the only thing worse than a pinfall attempt being broken up is when the person doing the breaking up then makes the cover on the person who was already being covered! Yup, that happened here and is foolish beyond words. The third man breaking up the pin is a constant theme for the next few minutes although Reckless does kick out of a Quack fisherman suplex. Three way sleeper when out to ringside walk Adam Flash and Romeo Valentino, the commentators wondering whose side they’re on. A double jawbreaker puts a stop to the sleeper(s) before the action really ramps up; Sicilian slice by Reckless, Quack with a Falcon Arrow, exploder from the Don and an inverted tornado DDT by Quack. ‘Lightning’ Mike then sits Reckless on the top turnbuckle but Reckless is able to fight back and hits a huge reverse atomic drop off the top. Thunderfire powerbomb and, continuing the story of the match, Montoya breaks that up. They do know it’s not first pinfall right? Don teases chokeslamming Reckless from the apron, however Reckless blocks and counters with an apron DDT. The action spills to the floor where a Quack springboard plancha wipes both out. As the referee checks on Montoya and Reckless, Flash and Valentino sneak into the ring and plant Quack with a double chokeslam. Gut wrench powerbomb by Don and we have our first elimination. Flash and Valentino turn their attention to Reckless, but a Montoya double clothesline clears them from the ring, something that surprises everyone as the impression was that they were on his side. Maybe him not theirs though. More interference, this time in the form of a woman who looks very much like a young Beth Phoenix. The useless official sees her enter the ring and then quickly turns away as he orders Flash and Valentino to the back. The female low blows Reckless before spiking him with a DDT. Pyramid bomb by Montoya and there’s your first Pittsburgh Freeweight champion. Post-match Quack and Reckless want nothing to do with Montoya, believing that he was in cahoots with Flash and Valentino, the commentator is not convinced mind and thinks the third person they hinted at was this woman, not the Don, and were just out there to cause trouble and break up the Black T-shirt squad. The way this was worked would’ve been better had it been first pinfall as opposed to elimination rules. In addtion I likely would’ve gone higher on it then too as the work between the three was generally very good, picking up substantially with Reckless’ arrival, almost as if that was the signal to turn things up several notches. My major issue, and it’s been a constant theme and will continue to be so, is the third man breaking up pinfalls in an elimination rules match. The finish was a bit messy and probably something that looked better on paper than in practice (Flash and Valentino’s plan to cause dissension in the BTS), not helped by a clueless ref. In regards to the female, the first match cagematch has for Beth Phoenix isn’t until August 2001 although, according to wiki, she did work some FNW a couple of years later. I’m going on a limb and saying this is her.

In a rare skit from the FWA, the Bad Crew are being interviewed on the street outside the building when they’re jumped from behind by Da Hit Squad. The dog collar stipulation was the Bad Crew’s idea, a team who allegedly never backs down from a challenge “especially with all their ECW experience”. Oh yeah, tons of it! DHS are overly cautious as the teams get locked together and there is some great work from the commentary team, pointing out how they are keeping each other at arms length as no-one wants to take that first shot, they want to be the ones who give it, because if you take the first shot you could easily take the next dozen to. It’s DHS who do get that first shot in, rushing their opponents when the Bad Crew foolishly turning their backs on them. I’m at a bit of a loss about what to write when it comes to this, I normally type as I’m watching and then attempt to put things more coherently after the match has finished, but it’s just all “meh” and I wasn’t feeling this at all. Three of the four get colour and the finish comes when one of the Crew releases himself from the dog collar and combines with his partner to hit ‘Bad Lands’ on Monsta Mack. Much shorter than I expected too.

That’s some paunch on Tommy Rich! A confident Doug Gilbert thinks they’ll beat these job boys in less than five minutes. The Haas brothers are now officially under contract to the WWF and the commentator says how everyone at JCW is incredibly proud of them. A slow paced start to proceedings with Doug using his experience to get the better of Charlie. Tommy Rich tags in but doesn’t fare as well as his partner, resorting to repeated pulling of the hair to gain the advantage. Double dropkick by the Haas’. Side headlock by Russ, however Rich with the blind tag as he shoots him off, drop down and Doug then pulls down the top rope, Russ tumbling over it to the floor. Rich’s goading of Charlie on the apron has the desired effect as while Charlie tries to get to him and is being held back by the official, on the outside Gilbert is putting the boots to his brother. The longer the match goes on the more the referee struggles to keep order, Rich and Gilbert utilizing the double team as well as plenty of illegal tactics. As Russ starts to fight back he’s stopped in his tracks by some powder that Gilbert throws in his face, passed to him by their generic manager. Doug teases a move off the top only to get side-tracked, mouthing off to a fan at ringside. I thought that might give Russ the additional seconds he needed but Gilbert still lands the fist drop. Russ ducks the clothesline, comes back with one of his own and finally makes the hot tag. Charlie comes in like a house on fire and Russ very quickly gets a second wind. Referee Steve Paradiso gets bumped when Gilbert shoves Charlie into him and at the same time Rich throws Russ to the floor. The Moondogs 2000 are out to help Rich and Gilbert, but their interference back fires as Wenzel accidentally KO’s Doug with a bone leading to the Haas brothers picking up the win. Long time rivals Da Hit Squad help the Haas’ clear the ring of the Moondogs, although not before they give Wenzel the banana split/flying elbow. We get some nice speeches from them all Mafia thanking the brothers for putting Da Hit Squad on the map, Charlie confirming that they signed their WWF contracts a couple of weeks ago and that this is their farewell and finally Mack joking that when they’re WWF tag team champions that they better give them (the DHS) a call to let them know there’s a spot on a house show for them! It was cool to see the Haas brothers working a different style of match compared to the stiff hard hitting ones they would work with Da Hit Squad, but I found this quite boring. I was looking forward to seeing what Rich and Gilbert had to offer, the answer isn’t much. The post-match send-off was nice and probably better than the match itself.

Cash Flo is a replacement for the no-show Hardcore Craig, so that explains why he’s wrestling again after being eliminated last night. There really isn’t a lot to this four minute match it’s just them taking it in turns to throw the other to the outside where the lumberjacks then break light tubes over them. Ian Rotten breaks a whole bunch over Cash’s back, shredding it along with his upper shoulder. The finish is strange as Corp reverses a whip to the corner, keeps hold of Cash and then ‘snake eyes’’ him onto some more light tubes which had been bridged across the top turnbuckle. He then makes the cover but the ref pauses after the two almost expecting a kick out, when that doesn’t come he belatedly brings his hand down for the third time. The moment the official decision is announced Cash rolls out the ring, pushes past the lumberjacks and goes immediately to the dressing room with Ian’s face giving the game away that something hasn’t gone as planned.

Lofty expectations are set as we are informed that the match last month at ‘Caged Terror 3’ between these teams was voted the EWF ‘Match of the Year’, something I would agree with based on what I’ve seen. A woman in the front row is shown singing along to the Backseat Boyz music and she’s not the only one. I like the opening to this, the Backseats slapping the Bad Crew across the face then high tailing it to the floor as they chase after them. Trent and Johnny dart back inside but both get caught whilst attempting crossbodies and the Crew launch them with a pair of fallaway slams. From here the match follows a very similar pattern to last month with the odd slight tweak; we get the same cool blocked hip toss/abdominal stretch/chair to the face spot, the powerbomb into the upright ladder (Trent taking it this time), the Kashmere plancha from the ladder to the floor, the Orihara moonsault, Trent’s missile dropkick to a pair of chairs (as opposed to a ladder) held by the Crew, the Johnny assisted Trent splash to one of the Crew sandwiched between the ladder, ‘Acid Bomb’ into the ladder and the Backseat Boyz taking a spill from the top of the ladder, although crotching themselves on the top rope rather than falling all the way to the wooden floor this time. Probably the major difference though is that both member of the Bad Crew get busted open. Even the finish is familiar as referee Brian Logan gets accidentally KO’ed by a Kashmere and Donnie B double superkick and the Bad Crew retrieves the belt. Just like last month they are again jumped by Lovebug and Martial Law who leave them laying and pass the belts to the Backseat Boyz, Logan coming to and seeing the titles in the hands of the champions. I again liked this, although not as much as last month. The blood was a good touch, but I wish they had mixed things up more. I also wish we had an interference free finish, winning once only because of outside interference is fine, twice and you’re starting to look like chumps. I didn’t notice the commentary as much as previously, maybe I switched off or maybe I’m just used to it by now?

Wolf looks a bit nervous as he makes his way around ringside, almost as if he’s regretting what he’s got himself into. Jim Fannin notices and advises him where the exits are if he wants to use them, but Wolf flips him the middle finger and is going to stick this out. A stiff forearm to the face by Ian gives us an early indication of how this one is going to go. Wolf catches Rotten with a clothesline and then pulls his vest up over his head as he fires away with some bad looking punches. Ian responds in kind, more stiff forearms followed by four vicious chops to the chest. He breaks a bunch of light tubes over his head and then drags one of the broken shards down his back cutting him open. Wolf is bleeding from the forehead too and Ian digs the glass into it to open that cut up some more. The action spills to the floor where Wolf gets a rare opportunity to give something back, shoving Ian’s head into the barbed wire board, although an unfortunate camera angle shows that he’s just holding him over it while Ian gigs himself. Rotten with another blistering chop to the chest before an absolutely horrific chair shot that looks to have damn near put Wolf to sleep. Ian picks him up and continues the beating with the help of a drawing pin covered baseball bat. That cut on Wolf’s back looks sore as. Roaring elbow, wooden board broken over the head, broomstick up the ass! Back inside and Ian with a Dragon suplex into the barbed wire board, there was no give in that board though which doesn’t break. As the referee checks on Wolf, Todd Morton runs out, sprays a rag with something and holds it over Ian’s mouth ‘knocking him out’. He puts Wolf on top of him and, unlikely as it would’ve seemed at the outset, he moves onto the quarter finals as the crowd chant “bull shit” at what they’ve just seen. After waking up Ian challenges Morton, telling him that he wants a piece of him tomorrow night. An Ian beat down, and even though he doesn’t take all of the match like he has done in other matches that follow a similar pattern, he takes the majority only giving Wolf the occasional and briefest of comebacks before returning to kicking his ass. The chair shot was a skull cracker, absolutely disgusting. I’m taking that was the only plausible way they could think of to eliminate Ian, but it wasn’t good and no surprise that it resulted in more “bull shit” chants from their audience.