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Things A Smart Wrestler Should Never Do...

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In the 80's if a jobber or smallish heel tried to bodyslam a much bigger babyface, the face would just stand there and smile while he tried doing it, and then usually give the smaller guy a finger wag after the second or third futile attempt and then slam him...to show him how it's done.

 

Never liked that spot.

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How about guys that go for moves that never work. Like Waltman trying to hit that Rocker Dropper that always gets countered?

 

 

Wait, is that what that spot's supposed to be? I always saw it as him just doing a backflip.

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How about guys that go for moves that never work. Like Waltman trying to hit that Rocker Dropper that always gets countered?

 

Wait, is that what that spot's supposed to be? I always saw it as him just doing a backflip.

That's what I always thought he was going for.

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How about guys that go for moves that never work. Like Waltman trying to hit that Rocker Dropper that always gets countered?

 

Wait, is that what that spot's supposed to be? I always saw it as him just doing a backflip.

That's what I always thought he was going for.

 

 

Didn't Scott Taylor do this spot for a while as well?

 

Kind of off topic, but I'd really love Randy Orton's "Outta Nowhere" danger to be stepped up a notch. Let's say somebody goes for a Missile Dropkick, thinking that Orton can't counter it into an RKO. But... Why not? Getting your legs RKO'd is still going to suck. Just once I'd like to see Orton do this.

 

I'm also somewhat gutted that both CM Punk and Hulk Hogan are persona-non-grata in WWE and aren't likely to return at any point. Can you imagine the awesomeness of a physical confrontation between the genre-savvy heel version of Punk and Hulk Hogan? The idea that Punk lays into Hogan, who starts to Hulk up, but rather than continue to beat upon Hogan to further the Hulkin Up (as everybody does), Punk simply turns around and walks out of the ring, negating Hogan's momentum shifter?! Imagine the heat?

 

Nobody seems to mind that The Big show doesn't wear a glove when he does his KO punch. It would allow him to hit much harder and reduce the risk of developing fractures and taking his ace-in-the-hole out of the equation (he uses his right hand to Chokeslam too..).

 

The Undertaker is a good example of being screwed every which way you look at it. When he's laid out in that prone position, you have three options. 1) Approach him at his top half, where he's going to grab you by the throat and try to Chokeslam you. 2) Approach him by his bottom half, where he's going to lock in Hells Gate. Or 3) Simply let him recover, where he's going to sit up, revitalised, and quickly shift the momentum to his favor. In a No-DQ scenario, you could potentially take a swing at him with a chair, but then there's nothing stopping him from booting you, or grabbing you by the throat. You could always throw a chair at him... But he'll probably have a counter for that too.

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Don't piledrive Road Warrior Hawk. You'll only make him angry.

 

Don't DDT Rikishi. Unless you really want to get superkicked.

 

If Johnny Saint rolls up in a ball... ignore him - even when he sticks his hand out to wave at you - and wait for the round to end.

 

You are wrestling Rey Mysterio but can't seem to find a way to finish him off. Don't try a Die Hard/Splash Mountain move.

 

If you are in a Battle Royal it might be a good idea not to go for a powerbomb, especially when you are anywhere near the ropes.

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Two top tips for battle royals/Royal Rumbles:

 

1) Never charge at an opponent who is next to the ropes. 9/10 he's going to duck and send you crashing out

2) If you've narrowly avoided elimination by landing on the ring apron, get into the ring as quickly as possible. Don't point to your head to show how smart you are or make a "Phew, that was close" gesture...that guarantees elimination.

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Never trust the Big Show as a heel or face. If your a heel, he will turn on you and become a face. If your a face, he will turn on you and become a heel. If your on a plane with wrestlers, don't sleep on the flight.

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Don't sleep in the same physical space with other wrestlers. Don't shut your eyes until you're behind a locked door and you're really sure nobody else has a key.

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Don't sign anything Dixie Carter hands you.

 

When (not "if") Jim Cornette rants about something you've done that's really not worth getting mad about just ignore him. If he's your boss then he won't be for long, and if you have no affiliation with him then it doesn't matter.

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If you start arguing with your tag team partner, just divorce before things get nasty.

Yeah, and definitely do not go on any of those wrestling talk shows to work it out. Going to The Barbershop or on Piper's Pit to work out your strained tag team relationship is like going on Maury Povich with that one girl, you met at that one bar, that one night. NOTHING GOOD CAN HAPPEN.

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Never, ever trust Ric Flair. Especially if your name is Sting.

 

A corollary to this Ric Flair rule: if you loan him money, don't expect to see it paid back. It's best to consider it a gift and move on.

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