WWE Super Showdown 2019: Come for the Wrestling, but no stay for the executions

[The Thread Killer]

I'm watching this show because I've been confined to my bed for the past six months by illness and I'm bored out of my skull.  This show passes my very strict criteria for watching something in that...it's on TV. Plus, the Main Event is Triple H vs. Randy Orton and how often do you get to see a match like that? I know nobody else is watching this because OUTRAGE but I stopped caring about stuff in my mid-thirties, unfortunately.

Opener is Seth Rollins vs. Baron Corbin for the Universal Championship. Rollins is very popular with this crowd, lots of chants for him. Match was structured somewhat differently because it was based around Corbin trying to work the supposedly injured and wrapped ribs of Rollins.  Corbin ostensibly executing manoeuvres which worked the midsection (and some of them almost hit the intended area) which Rollins sold kind of a bit.  Corbin has a really weird habit of sliding out of the ring, running around the ringpost and then sliding back in.  Not sure what that is supposed to accomplish.  Corbin is arguing with the referee constantly, getting in his face shouting loudly.  He does it one too many times and Rollins rolls him up from behind for the win.

After the match, here comes Brock with a steel chair and Heyman with a referee and the MITB case.  Corbin attacks Rollins to soften him up, but as Heyman enters the ring he trips and drops the MITB case.  This distracts Brock, and Rollins hits him with a low blow.  Rollins steals the chair and beats the living hell out of Lesnar with the chair.  Announcers point out that the bell never rang and Lesnar gave the case to the ref, so this does not count as a cash-in. Rollins caps things off with a curb stomp on Lesnar on top of the MITB case.  Full credit to Lesnar, he is selling the hell out of this beating. Match was what you would expect from Rollins vs. Corbin.  Post match angle was done pretty well. They show a close up of Lesnar as he heads up the ramp, and dude is covered in serious red welts.

[The Thread Killer]

Next match is Andrade (with no Zelina Vega surprisingly ) vs. The Demon.  Balor gets the Demon entrance, surrounded by guys in full body black leotards, waving their arms in the air.  That was something.  Surprisingly, Balor was not wearing his pro-LGBTQ gear for some reason. Crowd was pretty dead for this match at the start, but it was a solid match and they actually started to come alive toward the end.  Andrade is really damn good. Michael Cole is kind enough to explain to us that Andrade incorporates styles from all over the world, like Lucha Libre and Japanese style.  Because Cole is an expert on such things.  Balor wins.  Fairly good match.

Lots of hype for the 50 Man Battle Royal happening later.

[Al]

No thoughts on the show, but I hope better health finds your way.

[The Thread Killer]

Now up is Shane with Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns.  Shane comes to the ring and is already soaked in sweat and looks like he is about to have a coronary, seriously.  Reigns is facing Drew again at Stomping Grounds...they're doing that after the match those two had at Wrestlemania? Which explains why Drew is out here, or is Shane his manager now?  Man, has McIntyre ever cooled off since coming up from NXT.  I thought he was poised to have a really big run but that shows what pairing up with Dolph will do to cool you off.  Hey, the fans in Saudi Arabia really love Reigns, maybe that's why Vince insists on coming here.  Lots of pyro, I guess they can afford it. I know it's been said time and again, but Shane's strikes are SO BAD.  Oh my gawd, Michael Cole actually said "That's vintage Shane!" Shane is gassed early and has to slap on a rear chinlock. Cole explains this is strategy because Shane knows he has to keep Roman grounded. Presumably due to Roman's high-flying style. When Roman throws the Superman punch and misses, it looks like he's doing some kind of modern interpretive dance. Cole actually exclaims: "What a match!"  Damn does Roman ever over-use that Superman punch. He's tried to throw it about five times already.  Fans start chanting CM PUNK!  Drew interferes, hits Roman with the Claymore Kick, and Shane gets the win.

Yep.

[The Thread Killer]

11 minutes ago, Al said:

No thoughts on the show, but I hope better health finds your way.

Thanks brother. Look like I am due for heart surgery next month, assuming this show doesn't kill me first.

[The Thread Killer]

Now Lars Sullivan vs. all three members of Lucha House Party.  I resent the fact that a talent like Gran Metalik is being wasted in crap like this.  How is anybody ever supposed to take you seriously after you've been in a match where you have to team up with two other guys to fight one dude? Cole tells us that not only is Sullivan brutal, but he's also cerebral.  Um, okay.  Fans don't give a damn about this match, one little bit. This is basically the lucha guys being scrappy and Sullivan no-selling everything, so far. Crowd is pretty much silent. Sullivan has a busted lip, which I don't know how that even happened.  Sullivan is shoving these guys around with one arm.  Lucha House Party tries to get the crowd to chant "Lucha!"  The fans do not comply. This mess is going on far too long.  To quote Shakespeare: "If it were done when 'tis done, then it is well it were done quickly."  All three Lucha guys now attacking Sullivan at the same time, and they get disqualified?  WTF? They head up the ramp, but Sullivan goes after them and attacks.  Cole says this is like a horror show.  Truer words have never been spoken.

[FMKK]

I have no intention of watching MurderMania but Dave live tweeting the show is hugely entertaining 

[Matt D]

Did it look like they were turning Brock with all of this Heyman stuff?

[El-P]

40 minutes ago, The Thread Killer said:

Fans start chanting CM PUNK! 

More beheading on the way...

[brocklock]

This is somehow more dull than I was expecting. Both these guys look so old.

[El-P]

41 minutes ago, The Thread Killer said:

Look like I am due for heart surgery next month, assuming this show doesn't kill me first.

I wish you courage. For the show I mean, after this (from what you report and Dave live tweeting), heart surgery will be a piece of cake.

[Matt D]

1 minute ago, brocklock said:

This is somehow more dull than I was expecting. Both these guys look so old.

Have you tried the 15 second skip button?

[brocklock]

Just now, Matt D said:

Have you tried the 15 second skip button?

I have but they are still on trying to do that punching on the ropes spot

[El-P]

Did Taker tombstone what was left of his dignity already ? Or has he one zombi sit-up left to cash-in yet more blood money next Fall ?

[The Thread Killer]

Wait, up next is Triple H vs. Randy Orton.  I was led to believe this was the Main Event, I feel cheated. They're actually show a video package outlining the history of this rivalry, which Cole tells us is one of the greatest in WWE history. Based on the (very long) video package, I am unsure who is supposed to be the babyface or heel in this match.  Based on the reaction of some of the wrestlers, it must be very hot in that ring.  Orton was mopping the sweat off his face with his ring jacket before the match started. Triple H comes down riding his three wheel motor cycle.  Very...slowly.  I fear this match is going to be all kinds of awful. Triple H's beard has become truly epic. Lots of deliberately paced old school wrestling to start this match and so help me gawd, the fans are clapping and cheering. They are chanting "this is awesome" I shit you not. Orton sucker punches Trips, and Cole declares it's "vintage Orton." Later, Orton hits a DDT, which Cole also declares is "vintage Orton."  Later still, Randy Orton slaps on a rear chinlock in the middle of the ring, which truly IS vintage Orton. The Thread Killer takes a break in the middle of the match because his Mommy came to visit and brought him takeout Chinese Food.  Match continues, Cole proclaims that this match is a classic. Triple H goes for the pedigree, which Orton counters into an RKO. Triple H kicks out.  Fans chant: "one more time."  Orton gets a constipated look on his face, and sets up for the punt kick. Triple H blocks, counters into a pedigree, which Orton kicks out of.  Fans once again chant: "this is awesome."  Well, say you want about these guys and this match, but the fans are eating it up, while they sat on their hands during Balor vs. Andrade, for the most part. Triple H slams Orton on the announce table four times.  I assume the table is supposed to break, but it has not.  Triple H takes a breather and rolls Orton back in. RKO by Orton and he gets the pin on Triple H.

[The Thread Killer]

3 hours ago, Matt D said:

Did it look like they were turning Brock with all of this Heyman stuff?

It's funny, he was certainly giving Heyman the stink eye on the way up the ramp, I assume blaming him for tripping and dropping the case.  It's possible.  Then again, after he beat Heyman over the head with the contract a couple of weeks ago, I thought they were going somewhere with that, and they did not.  Those two have an odd dynamic.  Heyman constantly gushes all over Lesnar, who acts like he doesn't care that Heyman is even there. It kind of reminds me of that old Warner Brother's cartoon with the big bulldog who is always marching around looking mean, while the little dog runs in circles around him telling him how great he is.

 

[The Thread Killer]

14 minutes ago, El-P said:

I wish you courage. For the show I mean, after this (from what you report and Dave live tweeting), heart surgery will be a piece of cake.

Thanks brother.  I am so tired of this whole ordeal, I just want to get the damn surgery and get it over with.  I've been sick and off work since the first week of December, it's really wearing me down.

[The Thread Killer]

16 minutes ago, brocklock said:

This is somehow more dull than I was expecting. Both these guys look so old.

I think the oppressive heat helped make what was already going to be a slow-paced match even slower.

[Matt D]

Just think. They would have been spared ten minutes of that if they let Nattie and Alexa wrestle.

[brocklock]

It felt longer than the 25:45 it lasted.

[The Thread Killer]

Now it's time for Lashley vs. Strowman.  I guess now we find out how far into the doghouse Strowman really is.  These guys are massive and yet they're moving faster than Triple H and Orton did. This is your typical "two big guys slugging it out" match, lots of trading slams and clotheslines and clubbing forearms and shoulder-tackles, that kind of thing. Kind of plodding.  Crowd is dead again, after being up for the previous match. A very weak "Get These Hands" chant breaks out, but then dies. Strowman wins with a powerslam.  They tried hard, but it really wasn't much of a match and nobody seemed to care.

[The Thread Killer]

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler for the WWE Championship is up now. They fought and Kofi won. That's 10 minutes of my life I will never get back.  If you've ever seen these two fight before, you've seen this match.

[El-P]

I just switch to AB1 for a second. Here's the exchange between Chereau & Agius, the french announcers, during the shots of the city :

Chereau : "Look, that region is beautiful, there are lights everywhere."

Agius : "Great. Thanks Philippe."

Chereau : "What ?"

Agius : "So there are lights so it's beautiful ?"

Chereau : "Lights kinda make things beautiful."

Agius : "I'm sorry but the most beautiful places in the world are actually where there are no lights."

They don't give a fuck. 

[The Thread Killer]

50 Man Battle Royal.  So many guys in there, it's practically impossible to keep track of what's going on. This is the first time I've seen AoP or Sin Cara in ages.  There are some guys in there and I have no idea who they are.  Best part so far was the song from Elias and Titus running down the ramp and all the guys in the ring already holding their arms up, telling him to slow down. Uh, the guy who won...I assume he's from Saudi Arabia but I literally have no idea who he is. Mansoor?  The fans have gone mental for this guy.  Some kids were actually crying. So yeah, based on his post-match promo this guy is from Saudi Arabia and he's the big home town hero.

[The Thread Killer]

Great news everybody!  If you skipped this show, at Stomping Grounds you get to see Rollins vs. Corbin and Kofi vs. Ziggler AGAIN!