subatomic_elbow

Will Diego Corleone be on the card?

I tried watching the 10th Anniversary Show last night (Young Dragons Rising, I think) and I didn't make it past the Steen/Kingston promo. It was just so dull. The lighting, the crowd, the commentary, the wrestling, everything was so washed out and vaguely wrestling shaped without being interesting. I ended up watching Regular Show reruns, Key & Peele, and Sons of Guns before falling asleep on the couch. Giving up caffeine has turned me into my father.

DDP's ribs.

Every single time I think that wrestling is done making me feel terrible, there comes a story like this one with Kharma. What a terrible, sad thing to have happen.

Oh, and an Alex Jones gimmick, preferably for a manager. A conspiratard ranting about how his white male clients are being oppressed, maybe even using a megaphone, would be gold. Insane conspiracy theories concerning Egyptians, the Illuminati, the New World Order, and globalists. His stable could even be called the Gold Standard.

Not a gimmick so much as a promotion concept. I have always thought the weakest part of pro wrestling is the presentation. Imagine if there were two feeds of Raw each week. One would be the standard McMahon style but the other would have a different production quality, a sports feed, if you will. The sports feed would have different announcers, different interviewers, and maybe even different camermen. They already have the perfect announcer team for such a product in Scott Stanford, with William Regal on color. Think of it like a commentary track, but in real time. A similar, but different idea was to run a company but focus the TV production on 1 or 2 competitors. Sort of like the documentaries that were so popular in the Attitude Era, but as a wrestling promotion. You could tell much more indepth stories that way, I think.

As someone who has spent entirely too much time playing EWR and TEW, I have wasted a lot of brain cells thinking about this sort of thing. 1. The Drunk Uncle. Simple gimmick for a veteran who had middling success, preferably in the Attitude Era. Basically, the Drunk Uncle likes to tell the younger wrestlers about all the good times he had back in the day, name drop the guys he rode the circuit with, and generally be a washed up old douche. His comeuppance is obvious enough, in the form of someone he name-dropped stopping by and having no recollection of him. Have the Drunk Uncle claim he hooked up with a classic Diva and she can humiliate him. In the ring, the Drunk Uncle uses all the most hated moves of the 90's and his finisher is an overly elaborate chop or fistdrop. Having him nail a younger wrestler's mom would be pretty funny, as well. 2. The 'Legend.' This is a slightly more meta version of the Drunk Uncle and I certainly would not use them both. The 'Legend' is a fake, a fraud, a shyster. He comes in with doctored 'lost' footage of himself winning matches at house shows, touring Japan, and holding titles around the world. The best part is, the Internet fans would likely know he was a fraud from the beginning. The Fed could run an Alternate Reality Game, with people trying to out the 'Legend' as a fake. Could be worked seriously or as a comedy gimmick. Sadly, I originally considered this as a gimmick for Larry Sweeney to use in the Fed, a couple years ago. 3. Stamfordbound and Down. I have a perverse love of Eddie Kingston and the idea of him using a Kenny Powers gimmick in the PG WWE makes me chuckle. Imagine a mulleted Eddie Kingston showing up on Smackdown as an unannounced jobber to the US Champ and winning the belt with a fluke knockout, then celebrating like he won the World Series. Keep him unlikable and crass and the gimmick is gold.

Up until 30 seconds ago when I Googled it, I thought Hack Meyers and Sandman were the same guy. No, seriously.

Am I the only one who was disappointed that this wasn't the lead singer of Megadeath talking about wrestling?

I have felt sad to be a wrestling fan a handful of times. The Sting/Flair match on TNA was the worst that didn't involve anyone being raped or dying. That I had to add a caveat of 'not being raped or dying' also makes me sad.

To be fair, though, Bob is pretty deep in the bear scene, so it had sexual advantages beyond vanity.

I think it is pretty interesting that next week is episode 52, and thus the year anniversary. How sweet would it be it the final Art of Wrestling was CM Punk gloating over a World Title victory?

I think we can all agree, it's 'The Strangler' Diego Corleone. That guy puts the 'it' in 'shit'!

I read a pretty good case for Evolution also representing the phases in HHHs life as a modern gay man. I'm starting to wonder if it was the same post, and they were his other lovers along the way. Gay read aside, that's not a bad way to set up Miz v Riley. No matter how they do it, I'm pretty sure I'll be viewing it as a gay lover's quarrel now. Honestly, I cannot read the Miz/Riley relationship any other way. Was the Miz/Morrisson tandem any straighter? Two dudes dishing on gossip, one of whom is a cuckold who wears a fur coat and the other who wears capri pants and overcompensates with misogyny?

A-Ry throws in the towel for Miz to save him from grievous bodily harm, because he loves him, and the Miz is furious. The rejection from his one true love drives A-Ry insane and he becomes a scorned lover figure while Miz's new found homophobic butchness makes him a face. After the feud, A-Ry will have moved on to a new mancrush, perhaps one who acts as a bodyguard/enforcer figure. Miz moves back into his Pick-Up Artist persona, but now more butch and macho. This is how the Miz becomes a top flight face and A-Ry becomes a midcard gay heel.

You just know people have bought Vince 'World's Greatest Boss' coffee mugs.

I'm just thrilled that the mist is back! I am prone to demarcating eras based on who the dominant mist spitter is, but the Fed has been without one since Tajiri left. Hell, does anyone know why Delirious doesn't? I figured it would be a natural part of his gimmick.

How would Sin Cara breath mist in his Snake Eyes mask? No mouth hole!

Isn't that just MMA?

I hate to admit it, but that video made me tear up a bit.

I was happy to see Alex Wright get a mention. When I was watching WCW Saturday Night, Alex was one of my favorites. I always dug that he had a different way of moving and selling as everyone else. If the WWE wanted to, they could totally package Gabriel the same way, post Corre.

Too bad Steve Sax got picked up on that murder rap.

I am watching TNA suffocate with a belt around it's neck and some public humiliation porn on the proverbial laptop. This is not even sad, just limp.

I went into Sterling's first match with the company pretty dubious of his look, but he made me a believer.

I've seen the show a few times and quite like it. The production values are pretty high for a local show.