SomethingSavage

If we're banning weak suicide dives, then it has to start with Seth Rollins' frail looking shit. It comes with all the ferocity of a four day-old kitten, pawing at a piece of a dust and just barely grazing it. Carmella's dive at SummerSlam looked like a fucking career killer compared to Seth's back to back game of touch-tag. But we still have to seem him break that shit out every week, like it's a mandatory sentence he's legally obligated to carry out against us.

Mil Muertes isn't as sexy an answer as some of the usual darlings, but dude's been at peak beast form in so many of his showings over the last 4 years. He'd rank right near the top of my list for sheer presence and the way he carries himself in chaotic brawls.

Okay, yeah. Jericho is tremendous here - shitting on WWE payoffs all the way up to his JeriKO run, voicing how they need to bring back vignettes, stressing character building & anticipation over in-ring matches ("Matches don't matter"), and on & on. I loved this. If only he'd gone all the way and called out Seth Rollins for being a shitty worker, he'd practically be my spirit animal right now. Jericho also basically breaks down every step of his debut - taking you on the full ride down the conveyer belt of WWF creative services in 1999. It's pretty damn cool. He also talks about the lifts, his insecurities about entering the land of the giants, and why he got off to a rotten start there. Good stuff. Something that comes through loud & clear is Jericho's commitment to getting himself over - at all times, at all costs, wherever he went. Dude's a hustler through & through. I realize people shit on him for letting his ambition override his actual athletic ability at times, but the guy's hustle is extremely admirable. He never stops thinking about ways to get over & stay over. If you can't tell, I enjoyed this one a lot. Here's hoping they really do continue through the rest of his career this way.

Can't believe I'm even about to say this, but the actual podcast itself has *kind of* turned a corner for me. I initially found it boring. Then they ditched the original concept & became Mystery Science Theater with unfunny dick jokes & forced laughter. So I tuned out. But, at the urging of a friend, I checked out the two ECW episodes. Then SummerSlam '89. And now Spring Stampede '99, which honestly had me cracking up at several points. When they're not trying too hard to be funny, it was great. Conrad has eased up on some of his more annoying tendencies, and Tony is a blast (seemingly without fully realizing it) when he's oblivious & just being himself. It's still far from a priority, but I'm on board for this podcast again whenever the material is slightly interesting. I wish they'd continue to watch more outside the box type stuff.

I'm really happy for Cody, the Bucks, and their crew. They have every right to be super proud of this one. I'm only going to catch about three days off in the month of September, and the first one doesn't come until the end of next week. So it isn't likely that I'll ever get around to seeing this whole thing. And that's cool. I rarely ever watch full shows anymore, and nothing on this card really grabs me anyway. I may make it a point to check out the Cody/Aldis stuff for the reactions and whatever aftermath ensues. The six-man tag *could* be fun, so maybe that. And Omega/Penta might eventually get a look, but I doubt it. Ideally, the match would be worked as a brawl, more in line with the Jericho Dome match than the typical "throw thirty knee strikes that are made to mean absolutely nothing" Kenny match we will likely get instead. The thigh-slapping in that match alone is probably enough to keep me from watching it, but we'll see. I do feel like a lot of people will be watching this due to that FOMO, but that's kind of the nature of WWE's weekly viewership anyway. It's not like it should be held against the show, since it *is* a big deal with a big time feel. Hoping to hear mostly positive things after it's all said & done. I'd rather the show do good and have things to cherry pick later than have it flop & feel like I didn't miss anything special at all.

I had to pause around the halfway mark for now, but the new episode with Conrad Thompson - covering Jericho's WWF debut - is another fun conversation. I really do hope they continue to explore various eras of Jericho'a career like Chris proposed here. They have good chemistry together, and Jericho's career is rich with potentially intriguing talking points. They revisit the infamous brownie story from Vince's house, and I absolutely love it. I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing how Vince locks eyes with Chris and offers him a second brownie, like some sort of mindfuck or mental chess game. "Surely two gentlemen should be able to enjoy two brownies..." Such a surreal fucking scene that Chris still can't figure out or wrap his head around. Tremendous. Chris showing up for his meeting with Vince, only to realize it's a full-blown booking meeting going on, is great. Not knowing how to react when he's asked, "What do you think about that finish for the D'Lo Brown match, pal?" is another fucking gem. I was surprised when Jericho brought up the problems he's had with the pay structure. I haven't read any of his books, so it's all news to me when he mentions his Undisputed Title win at Vengeance being a "small, shitty little payoff." And then he only got 1/5th of the main event money for Mania 18, while Hunter got the other 4/5ths? Ouch. I'll get back to this one later & finish it up, but it's already recommended listening.

Yeah. Outside of that one REALLY fun squash match with the crazy moonsault, Strong has been a big miss. His name & moniker is as lifeless and lazy as his work, which makes it look like he's practically sleepwalking through most matches at this point. The exaggerated "snap" sound effects are right there with the thigh-slapping for me. They're overdone and seem very silly in the more serious, main event situations. Fenix has been vastly underutilized this season. Not sure what the long-term game is with the guy, but it's disappointing that he's fallen so far out of sight - especially after that awesome feud with Marty last season. It was definitely a highlight.

That Haunted House match was soopah fucking fun. A total blast. Gruesome, brutal, and vicious from bell to bell. Nah. Scratch that. It was fun BEFORE the opening bell, because gawt damn. Catrina, y'all. That beat down was some Dynasty meets Banshee level shit. Melissa getting her face smashed against the cage & then slammed through a glass vase was wicked. Mil was back to being peak beast here, and he was bringing a taste of that Puerto Rican style violence. Stabbing(!) Mack with that machete was sick. Mil going through the table and quickly recovering was the kind of no-selling I'd normally take issue with, but dude is practically Jason Voorhees for all intents & purposes here. So no harm. The two Spears against the cage looked gnarly. Clearly they expected the wall to break away, but nah. The cage stood its ground, so Mack was basically sandwiched between a cage & a hard place. Mil threw his entire body weight behind those shoulders, too. That whole scene looked real rough for Mack. Nifty finish also, with Mack nosediving and basically spiking himself on the landing for that Flatliner through the table. Fun, fun match. No finesse to be found, but that's not what you want in these things anyway. It's just a shame the episodes weren't timed better so that this actually occurred, ya know, sometime closer to Halloween. On a totally random note, I never knew I needed it - but I want LU to get Tony Schiavone for one of these specialty, novelty style matches. Have him come in and announce the whole thing in his Mortal Kombat commentary neenja voice. I'd be all over that, and I'm not even kidding. The backstage vignettes are losing steam with me. I don't know if that's more about me not digging this season as much as others yet, or if they've really lost some of their luster. This season's stories just feel so unfocused and all over the place to me. Here we've got Mundo and the Worldwide Underground seemingly being heels again. After switching back and forth about five times throughout the feud with the Reptile Tribe. It's been very weird and inconsistent in how they're portrayed here. I am still optimistic about the wedding though. If they shit the bed with that one, well then my faith may start to seriously falter. Because it seems ripe with potential. That murder scene was something else. Mygoddamngod. The body count is really racking up this year. Feels like they can't wait to kill off characters fast enough lately. The main event was fun enough, too. I went in with low expectations, because this feud truthfully just hasn't done anything for me. It has felt very paint-by-numbers. It's your stereotypical pro wrestling grudge, and that's underwhelming in the LU environment - especially when you're dealing with a richly revenge-driven character like Pentagon. But they threw out the heavy artillery here. It *was* a bit much to keep up with, but the onslaught of offense was probably the best approach to take with these two. It gave us a truckload of big bombs and dangerous spots, which the crowd ate up. Loved the finish. I thought that tied the story up perfectly, with Pentagon just POURING on the assault. The Fear Factor through the chairs was one NASTY bump for a guy Cage's size. Then Penta broke not only one - but BOTH - of Cage's arms. So we got the case of Penta (the baby) overcoming the odds and proving Cage (the heel) wrong by showing that his arms could, in fact, be broken by the champ. But Cage's character was kept intact as well, because he's a machine & thus STILL tried to stand without the use of his massive arms. But Penta is right there to Curb Stomp him through a cinderblock (another fun callback to earlier battles from previous seasons). Tremendous. That's the sort of storytelling and continuity I want. Good stuff.

Right. Their street fight / parking lot brawl segment was this wild, frantic fight scene. And then they decided to kill a kid for the followup. Just a poor decision that badly needed an editor of some sort to step in at some stage and say, "The fuck?" Worst of all, it's not just in poor taste. It's pointless, too. There's no heat in it. I mean, the OGz would catch crazy heat if this were Sons of Anarchy or something. But nobody buys this stuff in pro wrestling. It just doesn't serve the same purpose or pack the same punch. They should've just had the OGz extend an olive branch by playing up their history and tugging on their connection to Konnan - only as a way to isolate him, backstab him, and humiliate him for growing "soft." This would leave LAX alone (without Konnan coaching them) for the next rematch in the series. That actually plays into the story also - since Konnan was THE deciding factor in the finish at Slammiversary. So there ya go. Instead, we got this mess. It's really unfortunate. But I don't want to be a total downer. I did catch the main event, which was disappointing in comparison to the Slammiversary showdown. But Sami is still enjoyable as this deranged cult leader, and Pentagon is still incredibly over in most places. The match was slower than I'd like, but that's due to the nature of these garbage, weapon-based brawls. There's too much dead space for the setup spots. There's also the silly wrestling trope of Sami just standing there & waiting to get hit sometimes. It never killed my interest or anything though. It's the type of match that doesn't carry the kind of urgency or hatred you want it to when you look at it under a microscope. But, from afar, it's still violent. And I dug it for a quick fifteen-minute TV main event. The staple gun, the sidewinder Death Valley Driver on the outside, and the pulling stump Piledriver all provided sick visuals. Good stuff. Oh. Plus Pentagon's got the build & the body type of my nephew's favorite Ninja Turtle, so bonus points for that.

I was somewhat surprised by all the Hogan praise toward the end of that interview with Cody & the Bucks. Very cool though. I mean, I knew all those guys were marks for the Monday Night Wars and stuff. But I wasn't expecting to hear them say Hulk Hogan was the best ever in-ring wrestler, AND Hogan versus Rock was the all-time favorite match all three have ever seen. But it kind of makes sense in a lot of ways. Like I said though, it's a fun conversation and a cool chance to hear about all the legwork that went into All In.

Haha. I made my last comment before listening to the latest podcast, so I didn't even realize you were referencing the same deal. Bruce has spoken about both in the past as if they were uniquely separate ideas (or maybe I just assumed they were), but I guess not. Either way, yeah. That would have been interesting to see. Bruce doing a Don West-type pitchman routine for deceivingly dangerous toys and merch could have been incredible. Anyway, I listened to the new episode covering the first SmackDown. Great show. There's plenty to really absorb and digest over the course of this conversation. There's one small mention of Meltzer, but Conrad quickly steers away from it & keeps things on track. And I'm glad. It feels like they've turned a new corner since they've focused more on the actual topics and less on that stuff. It is so very Vince to send a handwritten letter to Entertainment Weekly, suggesting that they surely must have mistakenly failed to realize that Bill Goldberg was neither Steve Austin nor even a WWF contracted worker. Tremendous. Do people shit on the SmackDown set design or something? Is that a thing? Because Conrad seemed to double down on getting Bruce to talk specifically about the "fist" setup. I always dug it, especially in those old SmackDown video games. But I could easily see the neckbeards snickering and making sexual innuendos about it, so maybe there's that? I don't know. The Hardy Boyz in DX sounds absolutely awful. Their undecided emo-goth, late 90s Hot Topic look just didn't gel with what DX was ever about. They would have stood out like the quiet weird kids in the corner. I don't know why Russo had this obsession with adding members to every group & faction all the time. There would never be a definitive lineup for any group under his watch, if it were left up to him. DX would have included the Hardys, Test playing Diesel 3.0, neon green Kane, and whoever the fuck else he could shoehorn in there. Thankfully, the actual performers themselves take things like chemistry into consideration when making these moves. Because Russo doesn't have a clue and simply believes gangs get guys over, because I don't know. Maybe it worked on a movie once. At that point, Matt & Jeff were better off running and gunning with Michael Hayes - who could show them how to superglue sporks & spoons onto their trenchcoats and their armpit-high JNCO jeans or whateverthefuck P.S. was rocking in '99.

Better or worse than Bruce coming back in the late 90s as a carnival barker type manager for Thrasher Doink?

Also thought they kept saying, "Bacardi Sweat" as the brand of sports drink from Japan. Had to Google it, because I had to lay eyes on this thing. "Pocari Sweat" though. Hilariously horrible name. Reminds me of the "Booty Sweat" energy drink from Tropic Thunder.

Super fun stories & stuff in Jericho's interview with Cody & the Bucks. Jericho says he told Vince about All In four or five months ago - the date, the venue, the idea to sell out, etc. Vince's reaction? Something along the lines of, "Hmph. Well I wish they would've called me. I could have told them that it's so difficult to draw during that time of year." And then they proceed to sell out in 30 minutes. It's crazy. I know people can pick apart the hows & whys regarding it being an act of defiance from fans, a giant crowd-sourcing support gesture from fans, or whatever. But they still did what they set out to do, and it's pretty cool - all things considered.

On the final Nitro episode, Bischoff mentions that Vince proposed an angle in WWE where Lance Storm would be revealed as Eric's bastard son. ... The fuck? It wouldn't be until much later, but Brad Maddox looked the part to play Eric's illegitimate kid. Anyway, Conrad follows up the Lance Storm talk by praising his work and saying Lance reminds him of Bobby Eaton - a guy that can get a good match out of anybody, anywhere on the card. Yeesh.

It's just so indicative of their ultra lazy, super uninspired style of storytelling these days. They went into Mania last year with so little story that fans were basically imagining the feud in their heads as some 3-year epic odyssey. Because the pieces *were* all there, but the company itself couldn't be bothered to illustrate the story for its viewers or anything. It's like flipping through a comic book and dreaming up what must have happened off-panel, because nothing actually unfolds in front of you. I dug Wade going through the steps of how Vince pulled all the right strings to get the crowd to react to Roman's win though.

Eh, I don't know about that. If anything, I think Vince was proven right on this one. Neville was killing it as heel cruiser champ. His character finally connected and found its stride. Guy had some swagger to him. But Enzo had personality in spades, and Vince values that above all else. So 'Zo was moved over and made new king of the cruisers. He was being booked to crossover into the women's title program at Mania, AS WELL as his own program there. He was written in as a central piece of the story for Raw 25 before being canned. There was a buzz on 205 Live because of Enzo, whether you like the guy or not. Since then, that show has gone back to being all about "good matches" again, and no fucks can be given. Nobody's paying attention. People are raving about the matches, but they're practically the only ones watching. Whereas Zo was being written into two programs at once, Cedric wasn't even seen on any shows other than 205 Live for like 5 months. It couldn't feel colder if it tried. I see this as a case of them giving in & releasing Neville, because they just don't see any harm in it. If he were at a Rey Mysterio level in their eyes, then yeah. They'd pull some petty fuckery like freezing his contract until he shows up for work again. You're right about the previous Braun/Roman program, by the way. But that feels ages ago, back when Braun was more heel and more monstrous. Since then, Braun's been strumming musical instruments, teaming with children, and shoulder blocking portable shithouses. So there's at least *some* cause for concern. I do hope he brings the hate here. The challenge being issued via Twitter isn't exactly a stellar start though.

This pretty much sums up everything I hate about WWE booking nowadays. More challenges are issued, more insults are exchanged, and more "feuds" are carried out on some shitty social media platform than on any of the 10 hours or whatever of TV they push out every week. It's all so fucking lazy and uninspired.

Yeah, you're right. That was awful. Absolutely embarrassing stuff. And it's a shame. I really dug the way Callis would approach his announcing & color his commentary during their stuff. Don always went out of his way to say he didn't fully understand the gangland ethics or elements of their beef, and he wouldn't pretend to. But this was something else, man. What in the actual fuck were they thinking? Gotta wonder who was responsible for the six shades of shit that was this segment. This one needed an editor real, real bad. Josh Mathews doing Michael Cole serious, hushed voice while simultaneously trying to advertise the women's title Triple Threat Match immediately after was fucking terrible, too. Here's hoping that was just an outlier and they can redirect this thing. I don't know though. I mean, I get them wanting this feud to span out & feel like a turf war, but Christ. There are better, simpler, more streamlined ways of doing it than THAT. Hell, they've been successfully doing it already. This felt so unnecessary and tacky.

I see what you're saying about the AJ/Joe start, but I can also side with Wade's comment about the announcers. IF it truly was the story of Styles trying to keep his cool - and I'm not even suggesting it wasn't, since I don't watch their weekly TV and would have no way of knowing anyhow - then the fault should fall firmly in the lap of the announcers. It's literally their job. They should have emphasized & underlined that element of the story. They didn't, and so it's easy to understand how someone would feel like the beginning was a little flat without that context. Here you go from seeing a guy trash the champion's family, and you're ready to root for an ass-kicking - because that's human nature, and that's how actual people behave. But instead you get this hokey looking pro wrestling hold, and it's all so cold. It needed context. It needed quality announcing. Without that, it leaves the viewer at home with the task of creating their own imaginary story or explanation for it. That might be fine for fantasy bookers or diehard followers of the product, but viewers just dropping it for the big shows or randomly wouldn't make the extra effort to dream up the sort of scenario you laid out there. I think Wade was better at expressing that part of the equation than Austin, who was perhaps more inclined to address it from an angle of how HE would have approached the layout himself.

I haven't had a chance to check out the episode itself just yet, so I'll just touch on a few of the broader points here. The silly "slap" sound effect had already reached ridiculous proportions by, like, season 2. I always hit a point where I can tune it out, but yeah. By the time a new season starts, I notice it again & go through the process of being annoyed by it all over again. It's obviously way wore in some cases than others. I definitely wish they'd dial it back a bit though. A straight right hand sound exactly like a front leg back kick, which sounds exactly like a back leg front kick, which sounds exactly like a roaring elbow, which sounds... I tell ya what, the acoustics in the Temple are something else, man. Pentagon has been totally underwhelming in this run to me. Feels like they waited at least a year too long for the coronation, and then - when they finally crowned him - they had no firm path carved out for his reign. Guy is a character built on the strength of his stories and rivalries along the way, and - while they've given him some big key wins along the way - this thing with Cage just leaves a lot to be desired & feels largely uninspired. Azteca feels like he has more momentum as a fighting champion, for instance. And most of that is strictly perception, but hey. That's a big part of it. I hate to sound like a downer, because I still enjoy LU most weeks. This season is just surprisingly lackluster, after what felt like a crazy fun season 3. But hey. I'm along for the ride. It's still very unique, very refreshing, and absolutely bonkers enough for me to see it through to the end. Still, I'm certainly hoping they pick up steam at some point this season & really start to connect some of the dots. For some reason, a lot of things feel disjointed - like there are missing links in the creative chain or something.

I had to stop at the halfway mark for now, but Austin's review of the SummerSlam/Brooklyn Takeover weekend is solid stuff. He puts over the NXT main event & ESPECIALLY the opener in a major way. Plus, Wade brings some fresh talking points for a change. I like their dynamic together quite a bit here.

Furthermore, suggesting said writers "step up" by grabbing Randy by the dick & thus reversing the rib was not Corny's finest moment.

WWE itself is the draw, pal. WWE also sells the most merch... as it were.

Not sure if it will ever warrant its own thread or not, but apparently Corgan is partnering with Jarrett to promote a big event in Nashville for the NWA's 70th anniversary. There will be a NWA World Championship match to headline the card, and they plan to introduce a new NWA National Championship. If Cody wins the belt and gets involved, maybe this could turn into a thing? If it's still Aldis, I'm not so sure. But ya can't fault Billy for trying to strike while the iron's hot and these shows are selling out left & right.